How is it that I mean so little to you?
When I cry my whole heart out blue
How is it fair that I'm the one crying every night?
When you're out there living your best ******* life
Do I really mean so little to you?
After all these years of us being perfectly dued
To this thing called love...
How can I mean so little to you?
You ******* *******.

-fir.m

I just want to
    be m  i  s         s  e   d.
I just want to  
be    l  ov     e  d.
I just want to
        be with y               ou
w he n I fe  el a      lone.

im sorry
I know it takes a while for my thoughts to reach my mouth and
im sorry the delay gives you the
         wrong impression
im sorry I've been hiding how bad my trauma really is because i don't want to be known as the one with depression
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry I tried to reconnect and try to mend the bond when I know you wont change the single frozen sliver of ice in the warmth i know you have.
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry that im no longer sorry for leaving
your ice is contagious and fatal
im sorry I gave up trying to convince you that it is there
im sorry it hurts me more than it should
and im sorry i wasn't tough enough to bear the cold for longer

staring at the sidewalk the night of my birthday
i show up at your door
here for your roommate says my mouth
my tears say that i want more
its his bed i sleep in
dreaming of your lips on my skin
last summer car parked at the drive in
i was a sucker for your devil grin

Sure..

Stand there...      wait
Don't stand there...    breathe.
No..        
Wait..
don't breathe...    just feel

Nah.   Yeah..
Ya-sure...  breathe&feel

Or wait...   no..
Just-remain-silent-and-say-nothing..


Ah,  there it is...    Yasss.    Good girl.