Crimson red is all that I see.
Anatomy displayed carefree.
Genealogy,
Human colony.
Say goodbye to your family tree.

Eyes so wasted
Hearts so entwined in the arms of a demon
And the soulless divide
In the conquering needless
In the delicate realm
Where no ones left lonely
And we are all in the dark
And no one begins
And no one shall find
Just the Airbled injustice
And the criminal silence
Shroud of deep greivance
Sinister breath
How he warms me with deadly
And grave hunts the rest
How the palate is shredded
Wood and chemical lather
Deepest regrets
That reside in no person
Sin
And strangling depth
Drastic perception
Ridiculous tread
The world of our making
Is raliently dead
How vacuous the reach
And how grievous the hold
Your beyond unforgiven
And less than you know

cauliflower balloons inflate from chemically altered exhaust.
upon deflation, they release clarification; they retain alterations.
cooked from breathing deep, bruised of industrial abuse,
cauliflower balloons are served to us with scents of rancid meat.

we are not unfamiliar to the machines of degradation.
appreciation is passed at the table alongside salt and gravy.
we are our makers and creators, not in need of names or forms.
we are not unfamiliar to ourselves but our ignorance blinds our lungs.

inflators of the inflated fill our plates to serve themselves,
forgetting somehow, who it is that will somehow serve their will.
deflators remain the servants, eventually becoming the served
remember to hold your breath because it is all you have.

Mama pulls up to the mailbox
You get out of the car
She drives up to the house
You'll check the mail and walk
Aren't you scared?
Of walking down the street alone
After all these years
of being seen the way you're seen
With your turban
How do you feel safe?
In a country where people believe you don't belong
Now, I get it
We look around
everyone is white
And you're so polite
And loving to everyone you meet
But you know
They might turn around at any time
saying go back to your country
go back, go back to where?
Maybe that's what you meant
when you told me
You'll never be white
I looked at my skin
of course
But you meant
You'll never be one of them
And you're nice
And they're nice
But the minute someone asks where you're from
It's us and them
Again
Maybe that's what you meant
Will I let it slide
if someone says something about what's on your head
Or will I say
that's my father
What if it's not words,
but a piercing gaze
how will we protect ourselves then?
If it's a policeman
What am I going to say?
You
have to face it
And you wish the universe could spare your children
That's what you meant

In Nebraska, they are murdering transexuals
those with necks red as blood and lipstick
     This recording is the last of the words which are me
     -Play on the air for all to hear
or smash them between these two bricks
these two red bricks of earth and stone
     In Nebraska, they are murdering transexuals
which you may think is funny
when their lipstick gets smeared ridiculously
across the macadam
until you see their blood the same as yours
until they come for you
those "good old boys" with fists like bricks
and necks engorged with hate and spit
warm beer, **** and vinegar
sun beating down on their angry, little brains
 
     This is the final transcript
of all that I am
embellished with sequins and such
scrawled in *****
     These words are my lover's breaths
floating in darkness above cold ears
lost in cartoon-balloon blurbs
a drama of gasps
a flurry of snow and chipped nails
upon the pavement
across the prairie
in Nebraska

regret and guilt
eat me alive at times
wishing so much
i could undo
all of my crimes--
so many things
from my past it seems
all the huge mistakes i've made
seem to haunt my vivid dreams
and oh the pain, the fear
that constantly encompass me
whenever I think that one day
all in this world will be able to see...
but there is no undoing
that can possibly be done
to mine own undoing
you see, i'm the one
who committed the acts of sin
and no one can help me now
no one can let me go back and begin
to try to undo what's done somehow...
so off i go trodding through
until the end of time
when my days will come to an end
**and all will know my sins, my crime...

My beloved please do not play with my heart
Do not leave me in this cruel world just alone
Take me along on path and never ever depart
Do not throw stones on me less I weep,moan

If I do not see any message from you I feel gone
I search for you being lunatic just my all around
I see complete darkness your presence make dawn
With you I am in the skies and without on ground

Please be with me and take an eternal embrace
Less I die and my soul remain in search for times
My sweetheart you are my real love and grace
Please be kind and forgive my all sins and crimes

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2016 Golden Glow

I almost don’t want to voice my opinion
because I like staying in the back of the mix
but it’s hard to do.
Straight from the mind, the mouth,
of a transgendered person,
this is honesty.
I know that there are a lot of people going on about the bathroom laws right now.
It’s ridiculous we even have to get to laws for bathrooms.
They’re for
elimination,
but it generally doesn’t stay at that.
Gossip, vomiting, crying, ****, ******, etc. Things you’ll most likely, in this century, find in the walls of bathrooms.
People are posting the meme, about the ******. Trying to mix it in with these laws.
A ******,
who is a man,
and someone who is transgender, don’t fall into the same category, and even if it’s made to better the judgement of hate and redirect the criticism of keeping transgender people in a specific bathroom,
don’t compare.
Because he is a male, he is a ******.
We are not the same.
Now, recently, people are posting about the mass shooting and connecting the two.
Saying how the last thing they want to hear about is how dangerous a transgender person is in bathroom now.
And they’re correct, because it’s always the last thing on my mind. I hate myself, so you don’t have to.
I have enough hate in me for myself so everyone can leave me be, knowing its strong enough.
I don’t want to be me, I don’t want to be like I am and I live with that everyday. I haven’t been able to make peace with myself and love myself, yet.
But I hope I can eventually.
I just wanted to put this out there, so people can see this side of things. From someone who is transgender.
The last thing on my mind in the bathroom is: you.
I do not want contact with anyone in there.
I fear you. I am scared to be there.
I feel threatened. I feel in danger, not you.
You should be ashamed to feel such resentment towards someone you don’t even know, because I am in the one in danger, not you.
I feel ashamed I am afraid of you and that is embarrassing to say,
but I am.
So don’t dare make it about your safety, because you are the last thing on my mind,
I promise you that.
Being misgendered, being *****, being beaten, being murdered, slandered, assaulted, accused, uncertain, hated, dehumanised, alone.
Fear.
These are what I am thinking about when all I have to do is ***, but all I wanted to have to do was get groceries.
Or get McDonald’s, get cat food, my car fixed, an outfit, take my husband lunch, take my daughter to the park, etc.
I have a family I love, very much.
So yeah, you are the last thing on my mind when I just have to use the bathroom, and don’t even want to need to use one in public because I am so afraid for my safety and wondering if this time, is going to be the last time I walk in one and don’t get to go home to my family because of who I am.
I am sure people have reasons to fear what they won’t know or understand,
but understand this.
I know you have your own fears and your own needs and expectations, but so do I.
Don’t fear me, in the bathroom, because my fear is actually greater than yours,
I promise you that.
And honestly, that is the last on my mind, anyway.
**I just have to ***.

why are you so enchanted by the light?
why do you keep on sticking to bright streetlamps
when strolling
through cold, quiet streets
bare of any living being?

(with their fingers crossed behind their backs
and knives hidden in their smiles)
the creatures mischievously sneaking around in the dark
are given the benefit
of spotting you right away

they easily observe you
(and see through your hesitant footsteps and shivering arms)
from a safe distance
and wait
for the chance to pounce

what is it
that makes you so
terrified
of the darkness?

is it because of the stories your mother told you
when you were a wee, little thing?
when you could barely understand the words coming out of her mouth?
when all you could believe in were your mother's words?

"Remember this: always walk under the streetlights, so the monsters don't chase you. They're terribly frightened by the light."

child,
do not be afraid
of slipping in the darkness.
do not be afraid
of what kind of unknown being lurks inside.
do not be afraid
of breathing the same air as your predators.

why not blend with them
as they search through their surroundings
all terribly confused
as to where their prey was
as you observe
(and see through their hesitant eyes and shivering backs)
from the shadows
and wait
for the chance to pounce?

/ after all,
creatures of the dark
rarely expect the attack
coming from their own side,
don't they? /