«In addition to this, you let him go.
Not because you have to,
but because you need to,
need to break a heart.
take their breath, because you don’t have enough oxygen to breath.
Maybe you think you are dying, and want everyone else around you to be in your pace.
Because once, you were the heartbroken one, and that ******, right?

Or maybe you are just immature.
Your eyes, and his too, may see a full bloomed woman on the outside.
On the inside however, you are a lost girl, wandering in a too big world,
and the urge to fill whole cities with your ego is too tempting.
Because your soul and mind haven’t connected and found it self yet.
Can you even walk in a ladies heels, woman??»

I say to myself.
While I wiggle down the street.  
With invisible black, tattooed tears, right under my eye.
I adore the oxygen within my lungs,
like an addict taking drugs.
…Or like me, stealing love filled hearts…

Heart: I have begun to feel a chill, it grows worse every day. I see darkness seeking to overtake me. Friend, what do you make of this? Should  we seek a new warmth to save us?

Mind: You fool! Don't you remember? The last fall you took...you landed so hard, and in so much pain. No! Absolutely not Solitude is the place for us. The abyss of solitude is in and of itself a comfort.

Heart: Oh come now friend, we can work together to find a better source of warmth, a real one this time! I just know it's there! It will warm us for life and not leave us. It's out there...we must try..

Mind: What about the previous fall? Where I had to take the reigns but you still chose the place of which to fall. I see pain has taught you nothing... you refuse to listen..you shut me out. Yet, I'm scared to take the reigns too hard. This cursed warmth....what a disaster it can be...false warmth always laughing at our anguish. That is all that exists. I'm sorry friend...I hold no comfort for you...I only bring truth and reality.

Heart:  You are right....I know this. Though I search for hope. Oh and it's a ****** thing... hope toys with me until I am nearly certain of what I seek to grasp then it vanishes as though it was never there. Hope toys with me until I am once again brought back to reality....always on my knees...sobbing and begging for the release of death. What do you see becoming of us? What will be our fate?

Mind: Yes, hope is a concept I created to keep us living but it's an awful creation..a word without form. It taunts and torments. I will forget hope and warm memories. Reality always wins...though you and I go kicking and screaming. You ask me what is to become of us...I see endless lonely days, you and I will drift further apart. We will push away all others who dare intrude in our loneliness. We will watch others continue on in their make believe happiness....and we will grow to despise it. No There isn't hope I'm afraid...Perhaps there never was. Just a meaningless word. Now let us grow silent and walk onward to the abyss that is apathy.
-John Marneslow.

It began with you


It began with the words;
Never before seen or heard.
I spoke them to her
And now she is my reason for remaining on this Earth.


It began with her;
She helped me through.
It began as a friendship,
Now I love you.


It began with a conversation;
It led us into another station.
As I finally got off the runaway train,
I had found my salvation.


It began with you
And with you it continues.
I hope it will end with you,
My lover, my love, my wife…
The one love I truly knew.

(C)2018 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.

Isn't it beautiful?
                                                                              It is... Absolutely wonderful.
What ones are your favorites?
                                The bright loud ones. They always have something to say.
I wish I could be up there among the colors, and the beauty.
                                                                                                I'm already there.
Without me?
                                                                                                  Because of you.

Life goes on.


When I found you sat crying, on that park bench,
With the soggy tissue pressed against your nose.
I simply said excuse me and you told me to leave you alone;
But I’m sorry I cannot, simply walk away.
You see this is such a beautiful day!


No it’s not; it’s horrible.  I’ve just lost the man that I love.
He left me for some woman he met down the pub.
Was he there a lot without you?  
Yes, I had to take care of the kids
And clean the house after work
And do a million other things.


So what did he do?  
He worked in an office.
So why could he not help you to look after the kids?
Or help with the housework?  
Or just do something?
Well he had to go to the pub, to take care of business.


Oh really?  What was her name?  
What!?  Are you trying to be funny!?
No; I was simply trying to say, look Honey,
It’s clear to see you’re better off without him;
He obviously didn’t care enough to not go out drinking.


But what will I do now?  
I can’t afford to pay a babysitter, to look after the kids,
While I go out to work;
They’ll never see me.
I only work part time so I can spend time with them.
How old are they now?  
Timmy’s 6 and Tommy is 7.


Timmy and Tommy?  That must get confusing?
Only occasionally, when they make me scream.
Oh what could they do that could make you scream?
You know what boys are like;
Causing havoc and breaking things.


Maybe that’s because they had no Father figure,
To discipline them?
Oh he did keep them in line; well, when he was around.
And what of when he wasn’t?  Did you discipline them?
I couldn’t make them cry; they’re only six and seven.


So they saw you were a push over?  Just like your Husband did?
Who the Hell are you to call me a push over!?  
You don’t even know me!
You’re quite right, I don’t know you;
But I’ve seen your type before in many a picture
And the only advice I can give to you, is to change in the future.


Look you’re better off without your Husband,
He’s a spineless ****.
It seems to me you were the only one willing to work,
To make the marriage last,
Even though he cared more about his pint glass.
So come on with me now
And let me show you another garden path.


What do you mean?  Things can be different to this?
Of course they can my Dear; you too can live in bliss.
All you have to do is change a few things.
Then this time next year, when I see you here,
You will no longer be crying.


You’ll be watching your kids play
And you’ll have a new man at side.
You don’t know that, you’re not God;
You can’t predict the future of my life.
You see that’s where you’re wrong Dear;
I am the man you call God.
I’ve just come along to see you
And to offer you a helping hand with your lot.


Oh yeah, of course you are and I’m the ****** Mary!
Well then Mary, shall we begin your new journey?
The first destination is the school to fetch the kids;
Then I intend to change your life
And give you the strength to live,
A happy life full of joy.  
My dear take my hand and we shall go fetch the boys.


A year later, I returned to that park
And guess what;
I was right…
Mary had healed her broken heart.


(C)2013 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.

" hey well, hope never dies!"



"yeah i know that's kinda been my problem recently"

You and I have a bipolar relationship
Full of roller-coaster ups and downs
One moment we exchange "I love yous"
The next we both wear sudden frowns

It is usually hard to hold a conversation
Sometimes we can talk all night
Arguing makes us blind with stubbornness
Too proud to admit when the other is right

You get a rush starting fights
You feed off other's distress
I do not know why you have to put people down
To feel powerful; believe you are a success

I still care about you even when you are mad
In spite of wounds you inflict
I do not hold grudges over them
Or ones already licked

You gave scars so I would grow strong
I do not know if it worked but you tried
Now that I am grown I'm covered in marks
Not on my skin but inside

You did your best to bring me up right
I have not turned out to be
All you hoped, one day i will
Make you proud, hope you agree.

I will not do everything you say
May or may not take your advice
I need to make my own silly mistakes
Even if that means making some of them twice

I am the one seated behind the wheel
I know you are sure you need to steer
You will never be able to
Choose which direction i decide to veer

Have confidence in what you have created
I know i have let you down before
From now on i will be careful
Pause before i open a new door

You will always be part of my life
Although you challenge our bond sometimes
It is worth it for the laughter we share
The support shown in difficult times

Thank you for being there
You are not perfect but you try
Your baby bird left the nest
Your love is what taught me to fly