letting it go too far over
whispering lines none too sober
deep into superficial radical concerns
but the comfort theme overall well stirred
fulfilling holes by plain symbolic gestures
miming intentions in meaningless false truths–

eyes on the pistol, the cure as a symbol.

As I lie in bed writing this I feel an overbearing sense of nothingness, emptiness.. void of any emotion when normally I would.

Writing to me was therapeutic, calming progressive for me. But now..it's lost it's edge. I no longer feel creative, the desire to pick up the pen is gone and I'm back to square one. This was the one thing I was good at.

My fix wasn't taking drugs or getting drunk. It was pouring my soul into my work...and now....

It's gone...I don't know what to do.

I'm literally at a

loss

for....

I was strong, you made me weak
You broke my barriers down to an empty husk
I let you in, and you grabbed on tight to my heart
You tugged me back to your game every time I tried to get away.

I was broken, you played on it.
False concern.

Pulling me further into your game
Your lips pressed against mine,
Deeper once again.
Your smile which lit up your face in turn lit up my heart as I thought I was the cause of it
The glint in your eye as I could not retaliate against your jokes
Your grandiose delusions of your own self worth
and your narcissistic ways,
all drew me in further

You're magnetic

******* brought a life back into me which I had never known before
A racing pulse
A want
A need for you, for your skin against mine

But I was a distraction,
Your little quick fix of attraction
I could never be her,
I could never do what she did to you

I'm not enough.

Together six years,

alone again.

In a odd twist,
You became the official unofficial big brother I never had.
We've long passed the favorite artist, listener thing that totally happened unexpectedly.
There were times when at my worse you gave some of the most life changing advice in the craziest way.
True enough you muffled them kind of low, but turning up my headphones was never a problem.
For each track list there was something that gave insight to things I never thought to think about.
And now, with all the time that's passed.
It's like what happened.
At that point and time I could have easily said without a question of a doubt that you were the pivotal point of the pedestal needed.
That one stone whom refused to be broken.
No matter how hard times got.
Now it's like, where did the old you go.

dear icarus,

i've watched you toil your youth away
all because you have been growing your wings of freedom
to be freed from the life you are locked in

with your calloused hands,
you have put on your wings of feathers and wax,
you are ready to fly across oceans
and escape from this labyrinth
of loneliness and fatigue

but icarus, remember those wings may break
you're shining boyishly, you're coming close to all those stars like stage lights
after aching and fading in the dark
you are seeing the sun for the first time
and it is all you want
but even the brightest and prettiest of lights can burn you out

icarus, come back safely
remember the world beneath you
and the love that the earth
has given you all these years
fly back down here
and i will do all i can to keep you safe.
before the ocean of wreckage pulls you into its depths
and it is too late