Ten months ago today
You fell. Your head
Smacked and cracked on my surface.
My hard and rough surface.
I made you sleep,
But you didn't wake
For days.
They removed your skull,
They removed your hair.
They removed you from your dignity.
There's nothing that you can do
But wait for the results.
You finally wake up,
You remember a lot,
There's also a lot that you forgot.
Rage, frustration, the "hurry up and wait" system,
Surgery after surgery after surgery after surgery.
The scar they left,
Slicing your head open so many times.
It's tender and inflamed.
It's never going away.
There's something I have to say.
And that's I'm really really sorry I did this to you.

Dream. Take me away
Far. To a place where I could stay.
Stay in paradise
I don’t care if it’ll be all lies

I dream when it’s morning
Even if the sun is already rising
A dream that is too pleasing
Is preventing me from waking

I still dream at noon
I won’t be waking up anytime soon
I think I’ll wait till the reign of the moon
Waking up, I don’t know how soon

The day is already ending
The curtain is already drawing
The sun is already preparing
To rest and to be setting

And then comes the night
When there exists a great absence of light
Me waking up is still out of sight
Because still, I dream at night

The dawn is coming
But still I am dreaming
The sun will again soon be rising
Still I continue on dreaming

This day marks a year of me dreaming
A year that I have stopped from waking
Well, it’s not that I don’t want to wake up
But in this bed and in this dream I am stuck

I was dreaming,
I am dreaming,
I will be dreaming
Till I wake up from this dream called coma.

here comes number two
this time I didn’t want to be through
this is the second overdose
at least I’m not comatose

first I had this headache
but then I felt my back ache
my hands were kinda trembling
my legs wouldn’t stop bending

my head began to tighten
my mom needed to be enlightened
I tried to talk with her
all my words were blurred

they asked if they could help in a way
I just needed to keep my body at bay
it was hard to breathe
I knew I needed to leave

in the car came more spasms
I don’t think she even fathomed
this is what happens you see
when you need meds to be

they ask me how much I took
to overdose on lithium
I just gave an astonishing look
I didn’t do this for fun

I’m here because I’m seizing
on a dose that was wrote
by my doctor you see
so I could finally be
normal to me.

you just lay me here to quiver
and you’re in here faking
this alarm is awakening
BP one forty three over ninety four
I’m convulsing, almost to the floor
my heart rate is up to one fifty
this could not be anymore ******

you wanna give me ativan
after I tell you they said no benzos
plus I’m on this other,
atypical antipsychotic
oh, I forgot to mention that other overdose.
I don’t need to frolic
in a white pill sea
that’s now beneath me

I just want this to stop.
this constant convulsing
the unwanted tightening
it goes from bottom to top

over an hour later
it finally chose to stop
when the blood work was fine
my heart was on a normal line

A girl in a coma, but in reverse, the world stays still, and she moves like a sun rays. She has been holding blooming flowers for far too long and her hands have transformed into ****** messes, nothing is pure anymore.

I want to fall asleep
And never wake up
Because the nights
I dream of you
Are the nights
I am at peace

Desde el lago de la noche a la mar de los sueños

Un río fluye a través de un viaje astral.

Brillo en la luz etérea galáctico

Al flotar por sentimientos que podrían ser.



Viajo a través del tiempo y el espacio

A un espectro exótico para vivir una vez más.

En la azul bruma hipnótica del viejo hombre sabio

Donde los sueños espectrales continúan por días.



Días y días y noches

Apetitos interplanetarios

Saciando gota a gota

Con café dulce hasta que nos detenemos



Hasta que nos elevamos por encima de la luz

Reflejos del aura de mi diosa;

Cristalizando vigas fracturadas en

Encantador mente en los arroyos



Pensamientos e ideas tentadoras

Que nos borra todos nuestros miedos

Que nos lava de todo lo que creemos

Cuando en la Tierra tejió nuestro pensamiento



Desde el lago de la noche, a la mar de los sueños

Luz espectral en vigas de baile

En azul bruma hipnótica de tu corazón

Donde los sueños se prolongan durante días y días...

Recently,
her mind is
debating
with her heart
resenting
every word
she wasted
on this paper
and all the metaphors
you haven't even decipher
but how
can she stop it
you have brought her up
to the top
then pushed her
to this
bottomless pit
now
she's stuck
in this drop
and it's growing
big
like
a bad habit
running
like
a mad rabbit
munching
on her thoughts
of you
while trying to
remove your face
off the view
like grime
on her tiled walls
made by
endless waterfalls
of whys and what ifs
and all her selfish beliefs
like
how you will read
her poetry
and chew the words
like sticky pastry
but her mind said
"you're wasting your ink"
she should stop writing
poems about you
and let her
memories
sink
in the letters
of your name
that are scattered
in her head
all printed
in heavy lead
therefore now,
she concluded,
the real dilemma,
to wake her up
in this coma
of dreams of you
and
find
a paper
that will reach miles
across the equator



-I Should Stop Writing Poems About You, Margaret Austin Go

And then a streak of light seem to color this blackness leaving behind the stained colors to my eyes..  In this moment I knew this was the way home!.  

I have been gone for to long.. It is time to return..  Although lost, I knew this light to be my compass home.. I can't explain how I know, I just do..

It was then I heard myself talking to me..  Its as if I was reading a book to my sleeping self..  My voice spoke words that did not make sense, Random sentence after random sentence filled my sleeping ears..

Songs from no where, Melodies in shadows, begin to color the darkness for me..   My mind was able to think again, no longer was it just on this vast sub conscience sea..  I had a sail now and was able to catch the dream winds I create..

I headed for this dark island..  I could see dragons flying high above.. As I drew near the island the dragons were really just birds.. The sun begun to rise..  The waters were again blue..  

There on the beach I saw myself reading a book dressed all in black..  The pages were made out of light.. He raised his hand to me and yelled out some sort of chant..  The birds turned into dragons and the water into darkness..  I was being pushed back.. The colors were fading...

I then realized that this was a part of me that did not want to leave this place..  My mind created this place, My soul was attached to this place, But I could not stay.. I was not yet ready to stay..

I then pushed back with my memories! Everything I remembered about her, us, them, and why I remembered everything.. The pages of light started to tear away and fly into the starless sky.. The pages of light became the stars, and the book itself became the moon.. The world was almost how I remembered it..

I saw myself crying, he was on his knees shouting at the new stars..  I then put my hand on his shoulders and told him, " Its time to wake up."  

2 years had gone by in the real world,  200 years had gone by in sub conscience world..  The next light I saw was that of a fluoresecent one shining down its glow on me..  I was in the hospital.. I awoke from this coma..