What was her name? A diminutive of something Or a shortening. And I don’t even think that I am close
I miss you.
a small concrete table white a group of girls Smoking and smoking and smoking Trading lipgloss I don’t remember what we talked about
But I do remember that the meds made you so Hungry “Are you gonna eat that?”
That’s how it begins in such places Passing off a cig Or trading processed food Or just giving it away.
Have a lie down or hand over the pill stored in your cheek for someone needier.
You said after your second plateful of anything Make sure you let me know if I start getting fat
I tried not to follow you around We had breakfast Cigarette breaks lunch and dinner I could have sat with you all day and night
But I let you roam like a yearling talking too much to too many people Spinning around in the hallways The skinny girl on the floor doing a striptease on her back in the streaming sunlight I could tell That you got paid for this at some point Even the imaginary boa scared these boys
You loved to talk about God I, however, do not
You loved a ****** ****** They were your favorite and would reminisce with the junkies Always sitting close-by You claimed that you could make a man cry By what you could do to his body I can only imagine what you’ve done so far At your age and you have a kid
I know that you’re frightened to be alone with your mother She’s so small You wouldn’t want to hurt her
And I see her that one time with candies and soda that you made her bring from the 99 cent store to share with all these people that don’t like you that she is a tiny thing Yes anyone could crush her I see your point.
Deena Dina Deana
I can’t remember your name
You’d wake me for breakfast Or, I you You said the voices never stop in your head Not just voices but other strange noises too You acted like it was a drag But in fact you were **** scared
I can hear sounds too I offered Bells And Strings Faint Voices calling my name Offering succinct advice Can’t everyone? Leaning against a wall with you at my feet I saw your head snap To the right I said Don’t worry I heard that too And you were so relieved You grasped my feet in gratitude
You said that you are three. Dread is the bad one a male And another a ****** female who’s name I can’t remember either I suggested that there were more Perhaps. I met the ***** and I did not like her at all In anger I returned your sweatshirt And you said You know she’s terrible I told you that Take back the shirt It’s cold
The men here don’t understand our Relationship They assume that it’s lovey Their minds are blown by Companionship in difficult circumstances Holding hands might help you through You never know until you try
You loved to have arguments over the Bible I would make a lot of noise to shut it down I cannot listen to that You would talk on that phone on the wall With the father of your child About god You missed your boy’s first day of kindergarten You called him on that phone to make sure that he got the plastic truck or some such toy in your absence
I wonder when you gave up your life When an injection of Ativan in your *** and a night In an darkened empty room Bound became an ideal resolution. You couldn’t figure out why you had a lump on your head And I explained that it was the result of banging it repeatedly against the wall. Side effects of Lorazepam include: Little recall
You seemed to have a plan. Visiting and writing up the coast The Dean Moriarty of Hospitals But what about your kid? The doctors say you can’t leave until you’re well I couldn’t even tell what’s wrong exactly Or what he’s really trying to tell you Other than too much too soon But that’s every girl in LA Isn’t it? You said that It Emerged at age 24.
I think about your son. I can’t believe that you have one. And your mother Who adopted you. What did she in fact bring home?
When they called to say that my car was here That I could go You covered my neck With kisses And said Thank You Thank You I Don’t Know What I Would Have Done Without You
here comes number two this time I didn’t want to be through this is the second overdose at least I’m not comatose
first I had this headache but then I felt my back ache my hands were kinda trembling my legs wouldn’t stop bending
my head began to tighten my mom needed to be enlightened I tried to talk with her all my words were blurred
they asked if they could help in a way I just needed to keep my body at bay it was hard to breathe I knew I needed to leave
in the car came more spasms I don’t think she even fathomed this is what happens you see when you need meds to be
they ask me how much I took to overdose on lithium I just gave an astonishing look I didn’t do this for fun
I’m here because I’m seizing on a dose that was wrote by my doctor you see so I could finally be normal to me.
you just lay me here to quiver and you’re in here faking this alarm is awakening BP one forty three over ninety four I’m convulsing, almost to the floor my heart rate is up to one fifty this could not be anymore ******
you wanna give me ativan after I tell you they said no benzos plus I’m on this other, atypical antipsychotic oh, I forgot to mention that other overdose. I don’t need to frolic in a white pill sea that’s now beneath me
I just want this to stop. this constant convulsing the unwanted tightening it goes from bottom to top
over an hour later it finally chose to stop when the blood work was fine my heart was on a normal line