I can’t hug them, I can’t even see them
They are the reason for me to live.
I just have to believe.
I thought I was close
But suddenly the chances closed
I and my fandom are inseparable
But meeting them seems impossible.
I said I love you… you can’t feel it,
I cry for you… you can’t even see it
Because I’m just one of your million fans.
Impossible to hold your hands.
I’ve realized,
No matter what will happen
I’m just a girl in the crowd
Screaming loud.
Impossible to reach you.

It was all a mystery,
Part of human history,
Was it a doorway with no door?
A portal closed for ever more,
Was it all ancient knowledge?
Forgotten in human's college,
The door to the in-between,
A closed door is all that's seen,
It was all a mystery,
Part of human history!

I know
why we close our eyes
when we kiss:
so that we never see things
close enough
to realize
the truth

*nothing lasts forever

Don’t tell me you’re open minded
When you squeeze your eyes shut
At the mere idea that you *might be wrong.

I've fallen in love with a ghost, a man, an angel with crooked wings.
I've fallen in love with the way he speaks, every tick and twitch, the way he looks when he's anxious.
I want to preserve him in poems and picture books.
His soul bears the weight of every cigarette and tear he has shed.

Poor lonely ghost, why do you hide behind closed curtains and mountain man ****** hair?
Poor lonely ghost, no one can get close to you,
Only because you are too scared of getting hurt.
So instead, you hurt yourself because it's easier this way.
Poor lonely ghost, you live inside a cave, insist it's better being alone with your things and your heavy thoughts.
But the weight, it grows.
Poor soul, you were not built to hold the weight of a lonely mans world.
With all of his tears and broken hearts and anxieties and cigarettes and sad poetry.

Please take care of yourself, my lonely ghost.
And please try to open to curtains and watch the sunrise.

What brings us together,
Will pull us apart;
For there is no winning in love
When only one, has a heart.

When you say forever,
I'll have no reply;
For you're trying to be clever
With words I hear, as a lie.

When did I close the window shut the light?
Wishing for darkness for an endless dream.
About life I do not have,
About love that is not mine,
About you who I cannot hold,
About dream that wouldn't last.

walls closing in
no where to turn
in this dark room

blindfolded
four corners
sealing the cracks

determination
being cautious
closed doors

lost thoughts
cubed inside
frustration

four huge walls
must get out of
this locked box