Hold Me!

The day you met,
Is the day I'll never forget.
Those sparkling deep eyes,
Has a pain that it hides.

The smile that catches the attention,
Has the story that you never mention.
The heart that beats rapidly,
Has hidden some secrets safely.

The vibe that you gave me,
Pauses the world around me.
Hold me so close coz I want to know,
All the hidden pain, the secret, the story now.

I want to heal your pain,
I want to change your story.
Will you let me rewrite your story?
If yes, then please hold me.

-Sanjana Tripathi
@wordz_dreamer

I’ve learned that it’s okay
to love you from a distance.

I don’t let you
get close to me anymore,

but that doesn’t mean
I’ve stopped loving you.

You brought me flowers
Was honestly surprised
Certainly were beautiful
Betrayal cleverly disguised

I awoke without you there
Note explaining where you went
When you came home with a big bouquet
Knew exactly what that meant

That in the hours you were away
Had done something I’d disapprove
Suspicions were confirmed by that gesture
I had no way to prove

Sifted through your phone of course
You’re good at covering tracks
Had plans to meet up with some girl
Was told to chill and relax

That you did not actually follow through
Stopped to drop off some dope
Her and a couple of other people
Reason for me to mope

It was other errands you ran
Took so long
You swear
Don’t know if you expect me to believe
Or you just don’t care

You thought you were sneaky and smart
Bringing somebody along
Because if you had a chaperone
Could you have done anything wrong?

Which would have worked eons ago
I’m catching on to your tricks
Hard as I try to tear down your walls
You’re faster stacking bricks

I ask from you the truth
Though i give more in return
By now should be used to the sadness
My stupid heart refuses to learn

I keep asking what’s wanted from me
Thinking I’m not worthy of a reply
Maybe you don’t know the answer
Either way I am left asking why

Why can’t you stop slipping away?
Out of hands and into the air
All we’ve been through
Ups and downs
Now do you not want me there?

I am hoping this is just a phase
Patient I force myself to be
You get it out of your system
Like you when waiting for me

I have made poor choices in the past
Forgive me but can’t forget
Tried to move forward and start over
I can tell it still makes you upset

I suspect that is justification
Smashing my heart to pieces
I hate myself for all that I am
Your attraction decreases

I do not know when feelings shifted
It’s clear yours aren’t the same
Maybe til now you were pretending
Whole relationship simply a game

My head beyond damaged
Stories that don’t make sense
I am going crazy
Issues seem so immense

I am easily manipulated
By your hand
Into different shapes
I can no longer stand

You are my biggest weakness
Temptation I can’t resist
I can’t have you for my own
Should I even exist?

I should thank you for your presence
You come home to me each night
As you spend days with other women
I fear you can’t stand my sight

I wish I could trust like before
You won’t give deceit a rest
See through your veil of loyalty
Know better than protest

I wonder
Did you get her a present?
If the floral arrangement was just for me
May not be fair to hate her
Probably shares my agony

Except has the worse half of the deal
I get most of your heart
Rest is scattered in pieces
Others have a tiny part

They should have common decency
Respect the commitment we share
Since it clearly doesn’t matter to you
Why would they bother to ******* care?

I am aware I am a lucky girl
Call you my best friend
If you no longer picture a future together
Don’t prolong the end

I do not know how to change this
To make you happy once more
Hold the flood of tears inside
The second you walk out the door

Then waterfalls gush out of eyes
Rivers of snot flow from nose
Have no interest in hearing my sorrows
I won’t burden you with my woes

I try maintaining composure
You are near
Should be able to sense my emotions
Not as stable as they appear

But you are constantly distracted
Consistently divided
I pour my all into a relationship
Grows more and more one-sided

Even if you stop buying presents
Come back to the house less and less
I will remain devoted and true
Never fixing this mess

Roses the closest I will get
Any sort of apology
Someday you won’t buy me flowers
You’ll only need to be with me