I am dead weight
to everyone around me.

Like coal,
I was a sizzling and crackling inferno,
until the only thing left
was a clump of
Burnt.
Used.
Lifeless.
Coal.

I burden other people
leaving marks
on those
I've barely touched.

I am everyone's coal.
The baggage everyone carries.
The trash thrown away.
The item disregarded, not worthy of living.
Not even given a chance to make a name of itself.
Burnt.
Used.
Lifeless.
Coal.

I have opened up my mouth
and taken out a spare pair
of butterfly wings
(pinched between thumb
and forefinger),
used-to-be-dusty but now
slightly damp from their
place of residence.
I dried them myself,
striking match after match
and holding each underneath,
close,
but not too close.

Instead of drying they
shrivelled up like petals
after leaving the flower.
As if to preserve warmth,
curling inwards,
they shivered, animated
by the heat of the glowing stick.

The flame got too close
to my fingers. I dropped it,
swearing. Pinched the wings too
hard (reflexes), the membrane
broke between my fingers
and the remnants
of freedom fluttered softly
to the ground.

My story doesn't start with,
Once Upon A Time
It starts with my kingdom
The king, the queen, and their only son
They were happy together in the castle they had
But every story starts with a tragedy
The king and queen clashed quite often
His bottles and mistress followed him home
Then he was gone, he opened the door and left
They didn't see him again after that
The queen fell into smoke and bitter liquids
Their son was forced to take charge
Things moved on slowly but the kingdom crumbled
Years past and plants took over the walls
The prince decided he'd had enough
He rebuilt his family
He build walls around his heart
Then he fell sick
He moved far from home
He held the weight of the pain on his shoulders
He cloaked himself in silence
An angel came and picked up the pieces
She brought him light
But he crumbled within slowly
His heart burning with the rhythm of a drum
It's true what they say
Happily ever afters really are only in books
That boy is me and the queen is my mother
The rancid hearted king was my father
So long and goodnight