thought a half and
   did a half and
      dreamed a half again

worked until the sun
   was set slumped home
      in the dark

can there be a lesson learned
   in a hundred years
want to go to heaven but
   the devil owns my fears

in the future i am
   blessed blessed as
      man can be

walking to the childrens
   park my daughters
      hand in mine

went to work with
   my true mates
      good days sweat again

can there be a lesson learned
   in a hundred years
want to go to heaven but
   the devil owns my fears

In all my strength as a child
I was a pebble in someone else's shoe
and the boulder he rolled every day.

Every night as I go to bed with my conscious filled with remorse and my heart so heavy
I feel like a side of my body cries out in pain, and the other one feels wholly empty
Tears roll down my eyes as if I hadn’t cried enough during the day
Still, I wish there was a way in which I could just make the grief go away

My mind seems clouded with a million things, each of them ripping me apart
I feel so emotionally drained that even keeping up with my sanity seems so hard
Wanting to break free from the shackles of my mind, I now realize I can no longer carry
Carry the fear of futility, the fear of failure, the fear of everything. I just want to spend my youth in a merry

Insecurities forge the unrest I sense within my chest, they make me feel like nothing to the world I could give
The emotions that I have been suppressing have now left me suffocated, my ribs can no longer protect my heart by instilling all the pain, at any moment they might split
And though being thankful for everything I am blessed with, I feel like I don't even deserve a bit
With this constant thought running through my brain cells, I realise that I am slowly turning into an under-watered withering flower, with no desire to live

i am the writer
you the thinker thank you
for your blessed service

O Mother of He who is Love Himself
I run to your golden abode. Seek for me the grace
to be like you.
To love like you,
to serve like you
to obey like you.
May my mind be Heaven bound,
Seeking the good with my hands
Speaking the truth with love
Sharing my warmth and your light.
Take from me the darkness,
the weight that weighs me down
making my eyes heavy and teary.
Fill me with your light, that I may never falter,
on my path, to share the love.

This jar is full of tears cried in vain and all for you
If you drowned in them you'd feel the way I do
Firm packed words and memories all you've left me with
The notion that everlasting love is just a myth
Taken handfuls of pills every morning and night
None of which bring me closer to feeling alright
And flung on wall are my remaining ***** to give
My lack of concern I'll ask you to forgive
They did not protest
I plucked them from my chest
Happy to be free from the bars in my breast
Replenishing what was surrendered
The air
That is the curse of being forced to care
The clothesline of ***** laundry hung to dry
In past would be reason to cry
Burdened with knowledge of the atrocity I am
Blessed I no longer give a ****