Where have you been?
Where are you going?
We suffer day in and day out,
Without understanding or knowing.
Explain to me where you've been,
You'll say, what you've done,
And how proud you are,
And it is, but doesn't seem to be so bizzare.
We are so shallow with each other,
We know nothing about our friends,
We share our deepest problems,
Hoping that maybe they can solve them.
But they don't know our past,
They don't really know who we are,
So how are they to help us?
And why do we, in them, put all our trust?
We are confusing beings,
Creatures of our own
Problem creating, attention seekers,
Without reason, we're emotional believers.

While riding the bus today
I saw a man sitting in front of me,
as subtly as possible, attempt to pinch a mosquito
off the top of the head of the woman sitting next to him.

Without drawing any attention to himself,
as this woman was staring out the window,
he was insistent in his anonymity.

I looked over to the girl sitting next to me and smiled.
Though she had noticed this interaction before us, she didn't look back to me but instead smiled to herself.

I admit it..
I'm an attention *****.

I starve myself, even though i know how skinny i am, even though i know 100 lbs is not a lot.

I starve myself so people will notice me.
Talk about me.
Feel bad for calling me all that rude stuff.

For the
"I want her body"
For the
"Did you lose weight"
For the
People who will start caring.

So people will talk behind my back about how i never eat.

But also to have legs to die for, and a waist to love.
To be perfect.

I'm longing to say goodnight And give you a kiss in the forehead.
I'm longing to say I adore you even you're at your worst.
I'm longing to say how cute you are even when your high. :')
I'm longing in any ways where i just want to be next to you. Nothing more, nothing less.

I hear that bitter sweet voice
Sharp and cloying
She's so beautiful
But cold and spiteful
Leaving traces of her touch
"I'll take you away from this"
I won't listen to her
I reach out to something safe
No answer
She gains confidence with every ring
No anwer
"Remember my sweet release"
I try again stretching up clawing out of the pit
No answer
I stop reaching
She has my attention

.                       She'll
take
                        off
her
                        clothes
for a                     little bit of coverage
Ride                     windows down
in the rain              like she loves it
                                What she'll do
                             for a hundred likes
                             on a website
  in real life              
      Is something project X like
her best nights
Her friends lie about her importance 
Beauty cant get you on a Forbes list
                                          But her dreams only  
*exist when attention shuts out pain

It's getting bad again.
Like.. Really bad.

I wanna be skinny.
Though i know that i am already, but i still have that belly fat.

I wanna go to extremes.
I know i'm attention seeking.
But we all have our small ****** stuff.

I don't wanna get better.
I donmt want to recover.
I want attention.

Instant.
Gratification.
A like.
A fleeting comment.
A bit of attention.
This doesn't last forever, need I mention?

We paint picture perfect lives
as if it were the truth.
Rarely do people post about times
when they're discouraged or feeling blue.

Our lives seem enviable, but you don't see what occurs behind doors.
The mundane moments no one wants to disclose.

With social media I find myself becoming more distant, yet feeling more connected in an instant. Making so called friends that I never talk to in person. Adding to a list of people that I pretend to know and ignoring the ones I say I care for.

Then there's the selfish gratification. It's all about me. Here's another one of my selfies. But somehow I find that I compare myself endlessly. And so do you and so does he. It's a game we aren't aware we signed up for. Yet the mutual agreement is we all score.