You promised to have and to hold
You lied, you took and you stole
Left five kids to go be a sinner
I hope you eat those words daily
For breakfast, lunch and dinner

Sometimes I stay angry and quiet for losing my happiness but then I wonder how could someone ever get angry about losing something they never had then I end up being a lot quiet as like ,














.

I spent such little time with you in the grand scheme of things. Yet I feel like you've been in my heart forever.
The first time I saw your picture asking for help, I knew we were meant to be a part of each others lives.
Your big brown eyes spoke to me, they said take me home, I will love like no other.
And those big bright eyes were right, you did love like no other.
It took you three days to know you were safe, after that first bath I gave you, I prised you out from behind the ubend of my toilet. You must have felt safe there.
I bathed you carefully and gently talking to you the whole time.
Letting you know it was OK now, you will never feel like you did on the streets of romainia. I will never let you feel that scared or alone again.
On the end of someones misplaced anger.
I wrapped you in a soft warm towel and brought you to my room.
I had already layed out towels on my bed. My little ningnong dog was already fresh from the bath and wriggling around getting dry, all fresh and frisky.
You watched her do this for a moment, until something inside you clicked. I'm sure I felt the air get a little lighter.
I'm sure then you knew you were safe and loved.
I put you on the bed with ning.
I had not seen you happy yet, but my goodness I saw it then.
As soon as I placed your tiny paws upon that bed you ran straight to and almost into ning, and then did laps of the bed, laps of elation, laps of relief, laps of pure joy. It was so funny! Your legs were almost jelly with how excited you were. You hadn't ever been that clean.
From that moment you never looked back to the hell you had known.
You lived every single day with happiness and joy in your heart.
Mornings were your favourite. I've never know a dog so happy to just be awake. Your warm little body laying next to mine, nibbling my nose as I spoke softly to you, welcoming the day in.
You did not change. You were always the happiest most loving little soul I have ever known. And I am so thankful I got to see the world through your eyes. I know it will never be the same again, the days seem duller with out you my dolly.
I miss you so much my whole body aches just knowing your not here on this earth with me.
I need your head against my chest just one last time, letting me know you are there with me.
Thankyou for waiting for me, for sharing your last little breath with me.
I will never forget that.
I will never forget you.
My brave little lady, until we meet again I will keep you in my memories and in my heart.
I promise once I am healed enough I will try to treat each day as you did and be thankful for what I have.
I know I will never love another like I loved you.
I miss you so much my little floppy dolly dog.
Sleep tight, say hello to the others for me, tell them I love them and tell them of our adventures.
I will hold you again one day and it will feel like we were never apart, I promise.

At night, as the cool breeze starts to kick in.
At night, when only the moon lay above,
When only the leaves are there to bounce off sound,
When only my brain creates the storms we lack in this desert.

I think of Autumn.
That one Autumn that changed it all.
A strange occult sort of feeling.
A sort of divine period, a different worshiping.

The period, when autumn leaves were grey,
Skies were orange, and clouds were starry.
When I worshiped a Muse as a deity.
A period that haunts me at night till thus day.

Like a ghost, taunting me, haunting me.
She visits on most nights, sometimes in a different skin.
Like a chameleon, shifting from one to another.
Different looks, but the same sapphire eyes.

What torture is this? If it is at all torture?
Is this my judgement? My atonement for the wrong I did? If I did any wrong...
My mind lingers to find the hidden message.
To decipher the code that are those kisses at night.
My mind lingers, by my hands write.

In a swift Autumn breeze, out of grey leaves.
Slithers a severed snake from Medusa's head.
One of many to haunt me every night.
A different hiss, a familiar kiss.

When the leader fails at their job,
The people become angry,
When the leader makes a difficult choice,
The people decide that it was wrong,
When the leader gives it their all,
The people are filled with spite,
In the end,
The leader can't please everyone.

For every
minute
you are angry,

you lose
60 seconds
of happiness.

I left your letters in tatters,
but do not distress.
Your every word
burned my eyes,
like a bedroom wall
too close to candlelight.
They will survive,
a life living on
well after your demise.

-
by Aleksander Mielnikow | Alek the Poet

don't take a step
you'll set off the land mines
you're being too reckless
inside of your own mind
you're opening memories
you'd rather forget
you're alone and scared
your consciousness is a threat
you don't want to look into the past
your happiness so easily trashed
you're sick and tired
of standing alone
you're breathing in fear
all on your own
all these monsters
stuck in your head
whispers and phobias
that you should be dead
nightmares keep coming back
memories like a heart attack
you've lost so much
and now you'll lose more
the things you've done
behind a closed door
you've been given
a chance at redemption
but you didn't take it
confidence so thin
you're still afraid
i can tell
your life will stay
a living hell