stop
kissing
me in
the corner
of our school
where
no one
can see
us

but maybe
start
being
a friend to
me so
that everyone
knows
that i'm
more than
your toy

stop calling
me when
you're drunk
with your friends
and call me names
"what a ****."

you'd laugh like
you told a joke
but really
you know
you're lying

don't push
me in
the hallways
and act
like it
means
nothing,
like i
mean
nothing

i know
you only
say those
words
and do
those things
to get me
out of your
head

but i hope
you realize
that you're
not the
only
one
who's
afraid

I've been waiting in the water
Waiting for a sign
Water gets deeper
Every single time
You break my heart
I start to cry
Drowning in my tear drops
I don't know why I was surprised
I did this to myself
These tears that take my life
Are mine

i need to right
what i did
wrong to you.

but i'm afraid
of what might
happen.

i broke your
heart (and mine
too) on accident.
i didn't mean to.
i swear.

if i could go back
and change it-
i'd do it in a
heartbeat.

My friends adore this fearlessness that I’ve acquired
Or is this a facade that I’ve mastered?
I may not have any phobias of flight or height nor am I afraid of monsters and demons in the closet or under the bed.

I fear that I may disappoint or fear that I cannot protect my loved ones.

I fear what I’m capable of and or doing.

But I’m afraid to love; whole heartedly.
I’m afraid to share my deepest darkest secrets then have them used against me.

But my biggest fear of all....
I’m afraid of someone loving me and finding me beautiful.....
I’m afraid that one day the inevitability will come thanks to time and that, that “someone” will hate me and see what they once thought was beautiful is now hideous in their eyez.

The beauty that they once gazed upon in my soul has now become ugly and that frightens me the most.

Fearless? Nah, I’m only human, wishing I had less fear or the ability to fear less....

I have dreams of chaotic things, visions of blood and gore
Can’t seem to get this madness outside of my mind, afraid to close my eyes anymore.
The carnage that is produced from my imagination is somewhat related to my reality; because I’m living in hell.
The evils that men do motivates me to alwayz do the right thing well.
I’m supposed to be a protector, I run towards the chaos while others are fleein’
But who is supposed to help me with my demons?
I see ghost when I’m awake and monsters in this caged cell called my thoughts.
Even my day dreams aren’t safe to endure.
Paranoia has left me sick without a cough.
Insomnia seems to be the cure.
I have nightmares......
I wake up,
I’m shook up,
I look up,
I say “****!”
Drenched in cold sweat as I reach for my loaded arm for safety, my point forty five
The death I’ve seen comes back in my dreams at night........
It’s morning, time to shake it off because I have a duty to uphold to others....
Protect them from their nightmares

Please don't ever ******* touch me.
Please don't ever ******* touch me because I'll snap.
Please don't hug me because we both know it's empty.
Please don't ever ******* touch me until it's to hurt me or **** me.

i'm afraid you won't be able to hold it,
my problems
my tears
my insecurities
my words
my heart
my mind
i'm afraid i will break you...