For this point and time being my life is good up in this moment It’s showing and the hoes know it so it’s hard to overthrow it So I’m living like a rockstar but funny cuz I ain’t famous And it’s funny, see the money then you start to see the changes See my friends in different places cuz we walk in different paces And we trapped up in the struggle hoping one day we can make it And I’m scared to loose em to death cuz we outta luck But I’m really afraid to grow apart cuz we outta touch.....
**** where’d the time go Looking at me in this mirror, realizing I’m getting old But yet I’m still young and I’m happy within my placement But with all the **** I’ve done what happens if I never make it Afraid to drop a seed, I’ll raise him, I ain’t bluffing But how can he look up to me if I don’t amount to nothing I’m taking a second to sit and think about my fears Will I lead to my own destruction or continue on my years
Since you’re gone I’ve been dealing with the hurting Happiness in my life, felt like I deserved it Me and you was an item, I guess it wasn’t working Drinking all these bottles, tryna bottle my emotions.... and I’m smoking
To calm down my nerves Numb down the hurt And I can’t find the words To express So I can write it in a verse but just the thought of you makes the feeling feel worse
From trials and tribulations Smiles are fabricated Out of desperation Im asking how can I make it?
Cuz I’m so lost and gone Tryna find another love but my heart is torn
So I grab a bottle and light up another spliff Thinking suicidal, how can I live like this Thinking bout your touch; how soft and warm Then I think about your smile ******* it’s gone
Anger; to suppress my sadness I drive myself into madness and disguise it into anger
Laughter; I try and bestow laughter onto others to substitute my depression with joy. I only smile when others around me smile but in reality im stuck in a void
I’m dying inside... crying inside... hiding inside Trapped in my mind.... fighting inside
Searching for myself ina rage Only to find myself ina cell, locked away in a cage Afraid.. To tame.... This animal, this beast, this serpent So I masquerade around pretending to be perfect I mask my emotions and hide my feelings on the surface,
Determined.... To lock away my emotions, to lock away the hurting Throw away the key and pray no one ever goes searching
You saying all that **** but.... How can you forget about me? I used to make you laugh at my jokes and I made you happy. Used to talk about the future and the kids we having. But now we don’t even talk and I say it sadly.... I lost you and it ain’t fair. And I know you need me like fire needs air. And I know you need me, tell me I ain’t wrong Just reading this prolly got you think we ain’t done. Pride, mixed with selfish decisions. Trust issues that I have got me scared of commitment. And I know I ****** up now I’m sitting here wishin, that you Reading this poem, give it a chance and just listen. I know your friends gave me a bad name But know I missed you like I got bad aim Happiness was vivid through the conversations Or was it a lie? Figments of my imagination Guess being timid is the explanation Didn't know we had a limit or a expiration I ain't expecting to get back together I want you to be happy wishing that you to do better Without me,
But I know you need me I know you want me you can never leave me
**** I want you to need me **** I need you to want me But it hurts knowing you don't, **** the feelin is haunting
She sayin.... I don’t need you I don’t need you I don’t need you I don’t need you but I want you I don’t mean to I don’t mean to I don’t mean to I don’t mean to but I love you.....
Trapped in this madness, This thing called love. Addicted 2 the sadness now my brains on drugs. In the eyez of a savage, tear stains turned blood Now torn is my status, **** the pain with the blunts &..... Hennessy Is the proper remedy For dealing with misery Killin it with the trees Blowing it in the air Wishin she still here But life is not fair She’s acting like she don’t care I’m a man baby girl, we make mistakes Sexing with other women but they can’t take ur place Something brown between my fingers and a bottle in my other palm Now she gone, and me I’m tryna move on Wishing.... that she was still seeing me Wondering..... what did she ever see in me? Tell me love, please you owe me that Now I’m sitting her with the **** and the cognac
So I got a blunt in my right hand And I got this drink in my left hand And I’m just Drinking Smoking Drinking Smoking Tryna get you out my head And it hurts me more when I see That you’re happier without me So I’m Drinking Smoking Drinking Smoking Tryna get you out my head
She don't live here no mo’ She left me lonely n cold She took a part of my soul The only part that I know I look in the mirror, reflections unknown Cuz I don't know who I am, hope I don't lose control Drugs got me addicted love has been evicted From my heart that's been afflicted Got my Chest feelin constricted Ready to fight Feelin hella defensive but really I'm jus defenseless Livin’ life jus like a misfit Sinning to live, got wisdom to give got these jewels that I drop jus listen to this: Love will get you killed blood will pour and spill and thugz will mourn but still The pain will resonate the drugs and all these pills will turn change into hate And all the love you feel will die and slowly fade turn numb from all the crime Somewhat like doing time cuz ur trapped behind bars cuz love left, said goodbye It's just a stranger closely kept by danger and this anger will alwayz linger locked up in cages unleashed in stages random; cannot contain it no one will understand it or feel how the pain is so loves is gone packed up, left me alone, no one home and I'm asking where did the love go? and it shows cuz I ain't the same tryna hide all the strain Feelin trapped in my brain smoke these blunts for the pain it's kinda hard to maintain cuz I'm supposed to be strong with no one else for the blame
I’m supposed to be strong for everyone including you. But whose supposed to be strong for me? Guess I don’t need anyone’s help. I cry but incognito, can’t allow anyone to see these tears. I’ll wipe them away myself.
Push it to the back of my mind, all the way in the rear. I’m afraid to share my emotions so I numb it all away, cage my depression, bury my fears.
Can’t trust anyone cuz one day they’ll be gone, they leave as they usually do, I tell myself I can’t be mad. So sometimes I leave them before they leave me, Every man for himself right? I learned that from my dad.
My biological..... wherever he is in this reality I’m on my own. A solitary mentality