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yogirlturkey Oct 2019
i insist to keep watching romance movies
turturing myself knowing i probably would never feel what the characters feel
that i will die without a caring lover.

how much i crave for love.
how much i need warmth.
safety & trust.

i want somebody to give my love to & not be used for.
somebody who understands me better than i do.
somebody who fills the love i should be giving to myself.

i insist to keep dreaming of you,
because you are the one i love the most.
you are the one i crave.

when we see eachother after long periods of time & we have a great time,
we always have that moment when we lock eyes
& i admire your beauty & you i can´t really say because i don´t know,

but i do know that sometimes you feel it too.
i know there´s a spark & you know it too,
but when are you going to stop denying it ?

i love you with all my heart,
& i can´t bare to know that you won´t stay in my life forever;
i will die of loneliness if you disappear from my life.
this is about a guy i will forever be in love with --> A.T.R.A
  -  1 0 / 2 9 / 1 9  -  2 : 4 4  p . m .
yogirlturkey Oct 2019
he stopped liking me
out of nowhere
and i´m sitting here wondering
why am i not good enough for anyone ?
is it because i´m dumb ? because you say that.
maybe i´m too crazy to handle ?
because i love too hard ?
please tell me
i really wanted you
i thought we could become something
i thought i would finally feel loved and comfortable at the same time
i guess not
am i not pretty enough to you ? because you complain how nobody in our city looks like the cute internet girl you watch on your phone.
maybe i´m just too boring, that could explain why you started ignoring me and stay stuck on your phone when were finally alone.
i thought you would be good for me
i thought you were different
but i guess
i´ll just sit here and wonder more ...
10 / 23 / 2019  -  1 0 : 3 5  a . m .
yogirlturkey Oct 2019
how can  you with  someone who wants  to **** themselves  everytime they feel sad  or somebody  yells at them ?  how can you  be someone  who´s  scared of commitment ? how can you  be  with  someone with abandonment issues ? how can you be with someone that needs reasurement everyday or if not they think you no longer want them ? how can you be  with someone so emotional ? how can you  love  someone  who don´t even love  themselves ?  how can you be  with someone  so  emotionally  unstable  ?  how  can  you be  with  someone  who constantly  sabotages  themselves ?  how  can  you be  with someone so lazy ? how can you be with someone  who don´t see  beyond their  flaws ? how can you  be with  someone who has  bipolarity ? how  can you be  with  someone depressed ? how can you be with someone so negative ? how can you be with someone   who  settles  for  less ? how  can  you be  with  someone  that  takes everything   seriously ?   how   can   you   be   with   someone   so   sensitive ?
how could you be with me ?
1 0 / 0 7 / 1 9  -  6 : 3 6 p . m .
yogirlturkey Oct 2019
let´s sit quietly
in rainy weather
in my dark room
on cold sheets
at late hours

locking our eyes
no touch
just admiring
eachother in the dark
with little light from the moon gazing through the window

fingertips slide on the covers
to my knees
& thighs
caressing my skin
hands on my hips
go for my face
& lean in for a kiss
mesmerize my hunger
for your lips
& you tell the rest . . .
9 / 2 9 / 1 9  -  8 : 0 7 p . m .
yogirlturkey Sep 2019
he was looking away so i took advantage just to look at him & admire
i could not take my eyes off of him
slowly my eyes started to tear up from happiness
the tears started running down
i was just so happy to have him
i couldn’t believe he was mine
it wouldn’t click in my head how happy i was
my happiness at that moment was unexpectedly overwhelming  
& to express that overwhelmingness
tears started running down my cheeks
i didn’t want him to see me crying
how weak i was of my feelings
so i quickly whipped them off
my whole chest was so warm
full of love i couldn’t give at that moment
he’s everything i ever needed
April 2019 (update: he's now gone)
yogirlturkey Sep 2019
he convinced himself he
doesn't have a chance
he told his mind he doesn't care
but his subconsious has
his eyes looking for me
his body acts like he's not interested
but his face says it all
he event went for a stunt
similar to my looks
but he knows is not what he wished
that's what i tell myself
because there's something between us anyway . . .
10:45 a.m.    8/27/19
yogirlturkey Sep 2019
he looks at me as if
i were a precious jewl
he locks his eyes on me
when im not looking
he passes by as if he
couldn't see me
he is shy to do more
than wave
he is prideful
but his beautiful
sparkly eyes
they trap me & hold me
his curly, dark, fluffy
hair has my thoughts
wanting my hands to
play with it
his nice, bright, big smile
makes me want to kiss
him all day long . . .
2:15 p.m.  8/19/19
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