Standing in the middle
of an Old Navy,
waiting on my boo
to finish trying on clothes.
I always feel so out of place
shopping for cute things,
like I'm just not girly enough.
I'd rather go play around
in the toy aisle.
I never was one for matching
prints and colors
and figuring out make-up patterns.
Maybe one day I'll grow up,
figure this stuff out,
but god, I hope not.

all we are are tired teens
breaking down at the thought
of leaving our homes
to travel abroad
to go forth and learn
our mindset must be firm
but right now we are
falling down
and trying to pick ourselves up
we falter to be
there is no time to dream anymore
no time to even sleep
no room to breath
no space to think
we are lost to notions
that it will get better
in the near future
but will it be

all we’ll be are putout parents
breaking down at the thought
of leaving our homes
to go to work
to make ends meet
our minds can’t be deep
and all we’ll be is
broken down
and trying  to pick ourselves up
so our kids don’t see
there is no time to dream anymore
no time to even sleep
no room to breath
no space to think
we will be lost to notions
that the end is near
and find comfort in
mortality

There's aching backs and dampened clothes
And sleepless nights pull at countless eyes
Words muttered through rusted locker doors
Slammed shut
Words that can't help but be heard

And hot angry voices chip at young minds like axes to ice
All racing to claim such a hollow little prize
Five days turn to haze
Then come weekend,
Drank away.

Because it's not about learning, is it? Not anymore.

It's about getting an A.

wake up every 5 am with coffee stains under your eyes
the bitter analytic was once a child with daisies in her hair but now there's only demons in her head
she wasn't beautiful as the ocean but she had the depth
the type that always noticed the shift in the air after midnight
bright eyes turned into her mother's, sullen and pitiless
they told her to stop looking at the stars and to start looking at her future
soft hands turned into her father's, brutal and calloused
they told her to stop fixing people and to start fixing herself
there was a child with roots in her veins and hands softer than flower petals
she talked about the universes stamped on her fingerprints and compared them to the bark of trees
but now she only talks to her demons
the ones that ripped the daisies out of her hair
you watch the news, think "oh, how horrible", when someone's been murdered and feel horrible when you realize you didn't feel a thing
grab a coffee, always black, rub your eyes and hope you get through the day without malfunctioning
the earth gave her a youth her parents couldn't offer her but the world took that away
this isn't growing up, this is oblivion

when we were little
we all had ambition
we all saw potential in us
we all knew what we wanted
what happened
what happened to
*** is gross
what happened to
drugs are bad
what happened to
believing in ourselves
what happened to
waking up with smiles
what happened to
making promises we promise not to break
"we all grew up"
they say
no
we didn't grow up
we all just became sad
and knew no other way
we all got lost at some point
we all misunderstood what it meant to grow up
what happened to
telling mommy and daddy we'll make them proud

Adults ****,
Then you are one,
How fun.

Because when your young,
Your soo high strung.
And all you want to do is get drunk,
And act like a punk.

But then you don't realise that there other people,
Just like you and me,
Who want to feel...
Included.

But we're soo deluded.

Really,
Thats not the case.
Growing up isn't a race,
And there is no need for a chase,
And all you have to do is love your face.

**Because in society you aren't considered,
"ace".

I feel so sad for
little kids with high hopes
and innocent thoughts.
And think the world is
okay and that adults know
everything needed to know.
And soon one day they're going
to figure out with the world
isn't a nice place. They're going
to find out instead that:
war's a thing,
so is a judgement,
people get sad,
people die,
people use one another,
people are all in general ****,
hearts are broken,
people are sad
and adults don't know everything.

I wished on a star too
Skipped rocks, flew off the inner tube
Played capture the flag, hide and go seek
Summer camp and climbing trees.

Passing notes, amusement parks, sports awards
Just Dance, sleepovers, boogie boards
Tire swings, smores, shirley temples,
Neighborhood friends, trampolines... few troubles.

A shooting star passed,
Silent tornadoes of memories
Come, lets ponder the time machine.
Just a kid, or maybe an adult- I'm 18.

Cherish past experiences, live for your dreams.

As I sit on this desk,
I'm in hurry...
To finish studying.
To finish this test.
To prepare for tonight.
To prepare for tomorrow.
This cycle never ends.
And I begin to worry.
I fear for my life.
I am aging.
I am changing.
I am growing.
But I look up to see little people in bright yellow and marvel red.
I see children.
They smile.
They have energy.
They are curious.
They have hope.
Oh, how glad I am to see these tiny moments.
I love to watch the future grow
And reminisce about those days.
As an adult,
I am their future.
But soon, they will be my future.
From youth to elderly,
We will revert back to our original figures,
To our old selves.
Where we sleep all day.
Where we have no cares about our schedule.
Where we can only fix the past and try our best to create a better future.
That's what this cycle of life is all about.
To think that I figured this out in a library...
I guess it's true what they say about books.
They are more than words.
They are the stories of our elderly,
the desires of our youth,
and the lessons learned of our fathers.
We are one.
I have nothing to fear.
I have no worries.
My future is in their hands.
A generation filled with hope.