I take a drink
And then I think
I'm not alone
But still on the brink
Of insanity
In calamity
Flashing lights
A gun blast sounds
It keeps me sane
It keeps me bound
I sip again
And take another shot
I sit again
And get shot a lot
You all might think it's lame
But I love my *****
And my video games

I need a girl
A girl who wont take me for granted
A girl who cares what happens
To me
A girl who's loyal
To the end
A girl who wont choose a friends boyfriend
Over her own
What happened to loyalty
The world is crumbling at my feet
What happened to loyalty?

Boredom comes
And boredom goes
Boredom shrinks
And boredom grows
None of you can see
What boredom knows
Can you make it through
What boredom sows

What is talent?
Is it power
Is it pride
Should it show
Or should it hide
I know what you think
You ask why
I hear it all the time
You've got talent man
But do I
Can you measure talent
Through structure and rhyme
As much as i hear "you rock"
I hear "you ****"
Because they weren't happy with my words
Because it wasn't what they thought they should have heard
Because their friendliness must be paid for
not earned
I know that I'm good
I know that I should
Let my talent shine
But keep in mind
I'm not divine
I'm just a regular guy
Who loves to write
Works of rhythm and rhyme
I do not think I'm the best
I'm just like the rest
The rest of you who read my work
Who have felt the same pain and hurt
Your life reflected in my art
And also my heart
And so this is for you
All the ones who've
Seen the colder side
Had a reason they had to hide
For everyone who has ever cried
I write for one thing
Its the least I could do
for all of those who
have seen their lives through
the words I write, and then feel new
All of my readers
All of my friends
I write this for you
For, it is you, with the talent

Innocence
Is arrogance
In worlds and cities
Of decadence
One thing
Rules above us all
The power can make even the noble fall
But what would you do
With all the power
And all the money in the world
The truth is merely
Corruption unfurled
Can you hear that chime
Steeped in rhythm
And in rhyme
I Cry as I find
A true assumption
We are all trapped
In a dimension
Of absolute corruption

It's where I sit and smoke
No joke
I find my head
So I know I'm not dead
When I think
On the brink
Of the sanity which I dread
I think of my idle Poe
Which helps with all of my poems
Some things I know
Others I don't
I think of everything I wrote
The things about a s*ty year
Where I found the reality of my fears
Am I crazy
I don't know
Is it bad
Ask Edgar Poe
Who wrote words that spoke to my soul
And broke through in clarity
"I became insane with long intervals of horrible sanity"
In this line my true sincerity
I think about this in my serenity
As the white wretch
Upon his pedestal
My bench

A fire of pride
A swarm of prejudice
Inside I hide
In dark malevolence
A light captured
A bone fractured
Fondness becomes love
Love becomes passion
Passion rises above
As hatred enters the fashion
Arrogance rises up inside
Makes it hard to oblige
The wishes of those around me
Pride turns to arrogance
Prejudice becomes hate
Arrogance and hatred are all I see

**** honor
**** chivalry
**** that one *****
And **** her "bestie"
**** everyone
**** everything
**** The world
**** some girl
**** my life
**** the strife
Take this knife
And ******* cut the pain away
**** my eyes
and **** my face
**** these times
and **** this place
****!

A sharp pain

In vain

Stuck in my life

Inside my back is this knife

Brought by my friends

Who fell from loyalty

To win their own royalty

Jealousy

Hypocrisy

Denial

And betrayal

Or is it...

Basking in strawberry moonlight
I look upon selene
And see your face
The air catches in my throat
I'm captivated by your grace
The thought of you
Infectious
It lingers in my mouth
Your taste
Terrifying and terrific
Terribly tantric
Tumultuous an tempting
This tempest
A torrent tearing down my walls
A Tsunami
Leaving bare
my soul
Is this true
Is it you
My goal...

Anger rises
A soft heart dies
Hardened in crisis
My mind just flies
I can write again
For the first time
In so long
My mind has long since been gone
Can you hear me crying
Can you watch me dying
I feel like flying
Heat rises
In blood so cold
A cut entices
Anger so bold
I can remember
A hot temper
Drowning me
How I wish I could see
I am not bad
Merely just mad
And yes i do remember
My woefully hot temper

Outside the heat rises
So much it hypnotizes
People into unwanted slumber
They fall over like fresh cut lumber
Their heart rate slows
Their temperature grows
Their minds implode
In this episode
Of unbearable conditions
In this rendition
I try to be brave
I try to save
A humble knave
In this heat wave
I fail as I try
And I too, die

What is my solace
My mind does try to find
A solid reason
For a season
Of solemn serenity
Eternity
Is fleeting
Can one truly grasp
The intricacies
Of the human mind
And try to find
Hope
Where there is none
And some
Continue to ignore the obvious
The world has given up hoping
All energy turns to coping
With life
And strife
And struggle
We're huddled
In fear
In a world full of malice
Tell me
What is my solace?

I know a place
A place of beauty
A place of serenity
A place which offers clarity
Salmon flock here
Bears feed here
Sasquatch wanders here
...Maybe
Among the redwoods
Ample and pure
Holding centuries
Of memories
Rising high
Up into the sky
I lie in wonder
The beauty taking me asunder
And under
In a feeling of awe
Mary Jane thrives here
Mushrooms thrive here
Men live here
But one thing rises above the rest
Of course...
You know...
You"ll see...
The beauty is breathtaking
All this I've come to know
In Humboldt County
Where the tall trees grow

Merrily
And warily
The girl does spin around
Jubilantly
Exuberantly
The girl does hum a sound
A face
Of grace
And slightly comical
Her hair be blonde
Her eyes be blue
With a tiny pointed nose
Freckles dance upon her face
Like music from another place
Where she's from no one knows
From a world
Of little black lines
The girl does find
Another life

Swirling
And twirling
My thoughts do fly
I jump to conclusions
I'm not sure why
I act like a ******
Its how I get by
I don't cheat
And I try
Not to lie
My brain
Restrains
My logical remedy
Lets face it
Not erase it
My mind is my enemy

Destroy
Your deception
Employ
A new direction
Avoid
Insurrection
Life
Is the lifeless love of laughter
Looming in lethargy
And lethality
Rises
Despises
My emptiness
Is no more
As I soar
through the open sky
I roar
with a question of why
Why did my despair
debilitate me so long
I'm now considered strong
Caught in this throng
Of life
Avoid
Insurrection
Employ
This new direction
And destroy
Your deception

I'm feeling hyphy
Like I might see
Inside a mirror
To the real me
The free me
Try test me
And you'll see
The mad me
The bad me
Hand me
My drink please
I think its time
to get tipsy
Maybe even flipsy
Your life is swimming
In a **** sea
You don't know ****
See
People wanna beat me
Or be me
Fifty-fifty
So I dry heave
Whenever I think
About
The liars
The haters
The fakers
And takers
Living life like paper
So taper
The **** down
Spin around
We're all bound
By this sound
So lets go down
Light up this town
And paint it red
Remember what I said
You can't be me
You can't beat me
'cause I wanna be
Free

Do you hear that?
Screaming silently
Into the night
My might
Is heated regrettably
My mood
Is chaos ensued
My life
Is passion renewed
Her face
Is matched by few
The visions
Explode into my view
All these things happen
When a spark
Burns anew

Is it meaningless
If i hold your hand
Is it meaningless
If i touch your face
Is it meaningless
Or is it grand
Is everything meaningless
In this rat race
Every grain of sand
Every rock 'n' roll band
Every lady and every man
Yet i still stand
I stand and write
I write only what is true
Whats true is not always right
Whats right is not always you
And again I stand
I stand for those with no home
I stand for those who are all alone
I stand for those who need defense
I stand for those trapped behind the fence
Of total control
I know I've lost my hold
And now I've turned cold
I stand for those who are helpless
Even if you think its meaningless

Where can start
With an Apollo heart
Where can I run
When chased by the moon and sun
An infinite race
With an Adonis face
A quick pace
In the presence of grace
Like Zeus I am powerful
Like Hades so sorrowful
With the temper of Aries
And as quick a wit as Hermes
I have an appetite so ravenous
Like kronos
And just as Dionysus
My parties are rapturous
So I find it difficult
Despite my piety
I believe I've failed
In finding one single
Equivalent diety

Sensation
Devastation
My body burns
Like radiation
Inflation
Damnation
My soul is lost
In this conflagration
No patience
In my station
And what did you do
You roped me
And broke me
Smoked me
And rolled me
There's no sense
In my defense
What's new is more
But what's more is less
There's no innocence
Any more
It's stranger than fiction
In a dark encryption

Clarity
In unity
Your scrutiny
Can never pay you well
Arrogance
Upon your stance
This final dance
From death
Twirling and whirling
And feeling so free
Hopeless and thoughtless
And caught in between
As the world keeps turning
And churning
With every lunar pull
Above
And beyond
In space that's so cool
Screaming
And careening
Off course
Of course
You know that to each single life form
Caught in this storm
Is caught in the throws of terror
Fairness in vitality
Death in severity
Life in virility
Pulling and tugging
Lifting and lugging
Laughing and crying
Living and dying
In the eyes I see the knowledge
I see the intelligence
The ability
The stability
Unable to attain
To ascertain
And regain
Life
Such is the struggle...
...
Of gods and men

When things are stacking up
My mind is packing up
And I've had enough
Of a world that seems to hate me
Of a world where theres no one left to save me
The new one
The lost one
The young one
All of them in my head
I wish I were dead
For causing this turmoil
Which I dread
Bury me in the soil
Before my anger is fed
By a lost tease
A new crush
And a young love
Who knows where it'll lead
Now hush
And fly away my dove
It bulds up to pull me down
Until I'm underground
Until I cant hear the sound
Of three sweet voices in which I've drowned
In love with the lost
Lost with the young
And a young friendship with the new
A voice of reason is trapped behind a door
Because where you have one voice
I have six more
Reason
Is not what they speak
Treason
Is all that they reap
I've come to a new assumption
Drowning in an emotional eruption

Thinking of a time
Thinking of a place
Thinking of a rhyme
Thinking of the face
That brings forth my power
Like a ******* tower
Higher and higher
We fly
Together
Whether the weather watches us wait
Is a question to be answered by the fates
Thinking
Wondering
Being
Pondering
The world around
Is out of the shroud
Keeping me down
Now I rise
I rise higher than ever before
I rise to meet the score
As I sit wondering and drinking
Drinking brings forth the thinking
Thinking of a time
Thinking of a place
Thinking of a rhyme
Thinking of the face
That makes me wonder

Life has a funny way
Of driving us almost insane
And pulling back
Just in time
For you to feel ashamed
Sometimes it throws a curve
Causing a momentary swerve
To avoid what we deserve
I watch these people
Trapped
Lost
Clinging to a dream
They know in their hearts
Is gone with the wind
While
All the while
Theres been something good
Waiting in the wings

The world has a funny way
Of making us waste
Away
Never siezing that day
Lie in wait
Just to alleviate
Pain

Because we're all a little broken
A little out spoken
But broken all the same
But.....

I dont want to wait anymore
**** it
This opportunity is knocking
And I'm opening that door
I feel these changes coming
This adventure I adore
And did I mention?
I have a question

Am I also
What you've been looking for?

Tyranny
Is infamy
And it consumes us
Instantly
It absorbs us
Completely
The source
Incredibly
Is our own problems
Our own people
Change occurs
In a colored steeple
As others take a needle
To feel good
To get healed
To feel understood
To be revealed
As one
One people
One race
One taste
No haste
Uncontrolled fusion
We're all simply human

Another draws my eye
And it is hard to find
The answers to a questionable mind
Wrapped up in the world around us
I am a patient man
And I do what I can
But she still does not see
Should I tell her
Will she hate me
I wish to see her
Completely
The very thought of her
Consumes me
The thought of being with her
Makes me happy
But will I break my chains
Of utter shyness
Or will I remain
In loving silence

Big city life
Becoming stale
Zombies are all I see
Mutilated and pale
Hot sand
And cacti beckon me
Nothing here to lose
There I've found a muse
And the beckoning grows stronger
No longer
will I sift through the plastic
Feeling almost frantic
with want
A train being a liaison
For a new beginning
On and old horizon

A beast who travels by twilight
And kills his prey in the dead of night
With his soul aflame
For this new game
This game is cunning
This game is fast
This game keeps running
But it doesn't last
He stalks his prey so quietly
And kills this game with extreme ferocity
Who is this beast
Who turns the innocent into a feast
What is this beast I see
I know now,
This beast is me

Religion
Is an ascension
to a higher being
seeing
the things
which bring forth an obsession
for information
lustful ways
give way
to what they say
will ruin the day
and then there's one thing
that rings
a truth
ricocheting from wall to wall
killing all
we fall to our knees and beg
but our prayers they fall upon deaf ears
no matter the years thrown into it
nothing to ease the tension
until we reach our ascension

I wake
Then bake
To differentiate
My state
Is ******
Slightly alone
But not quite caring
I'm daring
And debonair
To be millionaire
Without money
Going through life
With a disposition so sunny
It funny
The words I come up with
Inside my brain
When I think about
The girl I love
Mary Jane

A cold winter draws near
Darkness lives here
As snow whirls around
There comes a booming sound
War approaches
Like lightning, so quick
An enemy encroaches
A land, prosperous and thick
Archers and swordsman
Join the fray
A cavalry of horsemen
Clashes here this day
Death is a venerable vintage
A wine of blood and gore
A variable incentive
For the hoards to go to war

Once
I was a man
Consumed by the voices
Causing horrible choices
Made by a corrupted mind
But know i find
Silence
Deathly silence
Sweet silence
A clarity unrivaled
Mark
Drake
Darkness
Sly
Sam
Daemon
Thomas
Adam
All of them diminish
This series can finally finish
What it began
Now I am a man
Cured of psychotic visions of vast violence
By the occurrence
Of my mind's sweet silence

She has fair skin
And crystal blue eyes
I can only love her within
I must let my passion hide
Unsure of whats ahead
Will I be a hero
Or will I be dead
Am I trapped at zero
Am I weighted down like lead
I look at her in a smokey haze
As I see her avoid my intense gaze
Will she know
Does she know
Can she know
What I wish I could show
Will she be
Can she be
The only one I see
I would say her name
But then this poem wouldn't be the same
And I would be playing a losing game
She is someone not to be tamed
She has to power to unlock my fame
She's the one in my aim
But I cant tell her
I cant see her
I cant be with her
A love, yes a love, that seems to fit like a glove
My heart beats
My mind thinks
I'll be nothing more than a silent love