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Umi Dec 2017
In one night of these nights, I don't know what happened to me
Oh Lord, I am filled with dakness...how can this be ?
Earth and the heavens are closing in to me, theres no way I can flee

I have fallen, a devil without wings,
A demon who's heart has forgotten something called "The light"
A prisoner with not much to say, a prisoner held by strings
And the sun I see has given up her might...
She does not shine, radiate or any of these things

My eyes cry out as I see the others,
Walking blindly through the flames, not anyone bothers
I have become stuck here because of my sins oh God.
"Does this criminal deserve your forgiveness" I'm thinking
I have confessed my sins, but I am still sinking

But today, oh Lord I want to come back, from the darkness cast by this cruel Sun
My heart is broken, my mind is confused, my lungs feel like being pressured by a ton
I am drowning here, can't see anything
Except for you oh my saviour, my king

So I speak out with the last breath
"Save me, and I will try to fix my behaviour"
Even if you resurrect in hell..the pain of death can be felt well


~ Umi
Liz  Jul 2014
Suicide song pt2
Liz Jul 2014
Dancing and twirling
Devilish thoughts
They taunt
They sing
And laugh an eerie song

I know every word
Every down beat and note
I sing a long every day

Catchy tunes
They get stuck in your head
Even when there is no physical sound
It repeats
And repeats
On and on

Like a chanting spell
Like a screaming cry
This suicide song
It won't let me die
fatin May 2016
mana mungkin rindu aku terasa
jika diungkap dengan bait bahasa

sayang
dakaplah aku
rasakan rindu aku
kerna mana bisa ayat dan kata curah rasa ini
andai kau rasa perit dan pahit ini,
lepaskan lah.
biar aku bebas terokai dunia
tanpa rasa sekat dalam raga

aku penat
-menunggu sesuatu yang tidak pasti
dalam hal ini, adalah kamu

jalan yang dahulu kita lewati tengah malam kini kian sunyi
dulu, ada sahaja tawa kita kedengaran
entah
bukan aku tidak cuba untuk berhenti ada fikiran tentang kamu
tapi
bagai aku tersekat

sayang
andai kau rindu
andai kau rasa perit dan pahit ini
lepaskan lah aku

*agar aku bebas teroka dunia
Pagan Paul Oct 2018
.
i.
And it grips her submissive mind,
sweeping her along unbidden,
through timelines inducing nausea,
passed worlds previously hidden.
Tumbling stones rumble unheard,
a slide that sends gravity shifting,
starting a new path through time,
the butterfly effect begins shifting.

ii.
The images stop swirling,
a vision fades slow into sight,
a row of glowing Seers Spheres
racked in the pale moon light.
Eleven cradles for resting orbs,
four relieved of their weight,
claimed by other time travellers
already gone through the Gate.

iii.
And she sees Grimly approach,
picking a Sphere from the rack,
carrying careful in clean hands,
then through the door turns back.
She sees herself seated rigid,
watches Grimly hand her the Sphere,
a bolt of understanding hits and
her mind becomes crystal clear.

iv.
She realises these are tests
for the next vision is of her,
as a child in a camel train
leaving the great city of Ur.
Crossing the desert once again
with oils and perfumes so pure,
amidst the most luxurious goods
of gold, silver, silks and furs.

v.
And the images diffuse, refocus, Judderwitch by a grave,
of an unfortunate sacrifice, the girl she could not save,
a flame handled dagger marks a headstone epitaph,
and her weeping grief slowly turns into a manic laugh,
as in the grave paces away, a woman screams out loud,
buried alive with a nest of spiders, no forgiveness is allowed.

vi.
And the scenes change, redefine, Judderwitch on a street,
with a mutilated corpse, an horrific sight for her to meet,
as a black rat starts to happily nibble at the naked feet,
and she shivers. She shivers? The Empress of Evil cold,
an anger courses through her at this alien feeling untold,
whilst her body stiffens at the answer she beholds.

vii.
Grimly sees her body stiffen,
a knowing smile graces his lips.
His eyes move to a vacant cradle,
as Time plays out one of its tricks.

viii.
And she knows.
She understands.
The Seers Sphere is Time itself.
Exactly one eleventh of
All Time.

ix.
The race through Time gently slows,
the globe feels warm as it brightly glows,
and deep inside she already knows
she is accepted and with Time she flows.
Connection with the Seers Sphere grows,
as the Ritual comes to its joyous close,
and the Seers Sphere hummed as it chose,
Judderwitch, and on its journey goes.



© Pagan Paul (05/10/18)
.
Poem 5 in Judderwitch series.
(Part 1 was posted a few days ago).

My Judderwitch poems are now in a collection :)
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/28451/judderwitch/
PPx
Alexis K  Jan 6
Bridge pt2
Alexis K Jan 6
I would love to write a beautiful piece,
On how death welcomed me.
The reality is I didn't have time.
My feet left the ground,
Wind in my hair,
And for a moment I felt finally free.
Then all that mattered was gravity.

Splat!
Naomi Sa'Rai Feb 2012
Yes Sandi is my name
Im the player in her game
Chess is
Checkers times two
Had fun toying
With you
My friend
My friend
Mandi mentioned you
As I laid
Fingers splayed
Teasing her sin
Sandi
She moaned
Playful lusted tone
He's a great young man
Thoughts of you
Interrupted
She begged
Grabbing hands
Mandi
Mandi
What a woman you are
Kept a young man falling
Free like comets
From stars
Oh Mandi
You knew
That you had a lover
Who looked just like you
Mandi I assumed you didn't lie
Notice shock
Looking up
On you
Going down
On that guy
Sandi
Baby you called out
What the hell was that about
Mandi i thought you cared
Somehow the exhausting
******* we shared
Couldn't satisfy you
Mandi go to hell
Take your man
Downtown with you

My poem
Murray
I toiled then in Babylon
with a suit and black tie on
I forgot who it was that I called on
JAH the one true lord of love
Sits on HIS throne high up above
HE sent to me a holy dove
in its talons
Kush

I had not smoked since that night
The sight of it gave me a fright
but from the sky, a holy light!
A fatherly voice came down from a cloud
"Son this kush is hella loud
Smoke it well, and make me proud!"
so I packed a bowl
and smoked

The power of kush, it lifted me
This powerful plant HE gifted me
It mended that old rift in me
and I once again, was reggae.
The story of my return to the right path. HIS light inspired me to fight the good fight against bald heads everywhere, and I fight to this day.
bymslu Nov 2018
serendipity

i've dipped in and out

the mountains i thought i moved took back their strength

and in the taking,
cracked open the ground

leaving me off-balance than before

yes, i should've fought back but


serendipity

i stay dipping in and out

there's no such thing as control

no such thing as handled

a loose grip

had me falling through the cracks
and as i fell onto hard times

the darkness welcomed me

so i stayed

. . .
Matthew Sep 2018
From a young age I was claiming to see angels, aliens, elementals, sometimes god himself walking in the sun. I remember surprising my teacher at age four by explaining infinity and drawing a figure eight for her.
I'm telling you these things, and other parts of my background because it all just feels necessary, if I'm to have any credibility for rational thought when I somehow find a way to explain what happened in there. It's been almost a week, I'm still jacked in the head. One thought, one memory, one feeling and all I can do is sob.
I digress. My point is that I've always been a highly spiritual person. What started as a Catholic would travel through taoism, Buddhism, the Cherokee and Hopi, the Hindu.. I've learned their Kung Fu, their Asana yoga, their healing through chi. I can say with no ego or shame, I am a shaman.
Christ, coming full circle, now amazes me the most. From that short line, "for through me all things are possible."
It's funny, but it took all that eastern mystic learning for me to come to understand the truly timeless nature of the cross, of God, and of ourselves.
I also, from age fifteen, was frequently hypnotized, and used an array of other advanced tequnique therapies meant to increase sub concsious brain hemisphere communication speeds. Remarkable stuff. From there I taught myself how to meditate and heal, and my colleague and I continued our experiments on into my early thirties.

I'm writing all of this because I want you all to know what I mean when I say "I am extremely in tune with my body and often sense things intuitively."
I'm getting there..
GaryFairy Mar 2016
if every cloud has a silver lining
that's gonna make for some heavy rain
underneath this sky, i am finding
myself being crushed, and drenched in pain
S O P H I E Sep 2020
when i was a child
my father never checked the closet
i never asked him too
i knew what was hiding there
the secrecy and the skeletons i lay to rest
i kept it shut tightly
locked and sealed
like my mouth
never open long enough
for anyone to know what was going on inside
not even a locksmith could pry open
my closet doors
Marigold Dec 2012
Do it. Why not?
Let her down, let her fall into endless voids,
Where the sadness is deeper than all the oceans we ever knew.
You, who she picked up so bruised and broken,
Full of sad thoughts and kind smiles,
She needn't be your burden anymore
Leave her to find her own way out
Regardless of who dragged who into whose mess.
And she has been trying;
trying to remember what it was to be happy,
trying to release the heaviness,
offering exits through pierced skin,
swallowing the provided medication.
Sometimes she forgets,
forgets which pill when,
forgets to eat,
forgets to get out of her bed-fortress.
But I can tell you most solemnly,
She never forgets what it was to have you.
Note: Ode to a ****** part 1 has not yet been published.
The Calm Dec 2016
Dear Homeless man
I see you standing there alone
Empty and probably hopeless with no place to call home

The winter cold breathe's on you it's icy kiss
It adds to the pain doesnt it?
To the voice of hoplessness beckoning you to death's dark abyss

Dear homeless man, why do you make me so afraid ?
You're one of God's children and I should be lending you aid
Dear homeless man I don't even know your name
As I wait for a green light feeling selfish,  uncaring and ashamed.

Dear homeless man, don't give up hope
Don't ever become a hopeless man
You probably wonder, if God is so good why doesn't he answer me ?
The birds of the air and the fish of the sea he takes care of
But what about me?

Dear Homeless man, I can't describe to you the emptiness I feel
As I look at you and imagine what you go through, your struggle your world so...real.

My immediate response is to raise my hand and for you say a prayer
My physical response is for you to shed a tear
God said that I would do for the least of I do the same thing to Jesus and for you I did not take care of
Is this what I do to the Lord above ?
To his creation? That's the only question on my imagiation, as I drive home it's a steady fixation as I think, wow me, a christian , certainly this will lead to damnation....

Dear Homeless man I'm sorry,
I wish I could drive you to my home and take you in.
Tell you about Jesus, I know you know that life is tough but I'll tell you how through him you can win
How the cause for your dilemna is through man and his sin but death didn't win
I wish I could show you a new day right now but hopefully through my prayer at that traffic light , hope will reach in.
To the homeless man standing on Orleans street in Baltimore Maryland right after Johns Hopkins Hospital, God bless and I'm sorry I can't help. I hope God blesses you

— The End —