the scent of a rose
the light of a sun
the glowing from a moon
the dust from a star
the tablecloth on your table
the tree's roots cutting into the earth
a world behind a window
the rain sounding from comfort
sea salt spraying coarse sand
an aesthetic
what a bore

I convinced myself one day I could fly
Open my arms and allow the wind to carry me
Soaring through a brisk, warm air
Light-headed and dizzy as I see the earth rotate
From underneath my feet
And I realize the rotations that seemed ambient before
Have all gone away,
And I’ll be just like a bird
Bones hollow, a secret song swallowed away inside them
Free to go wherever I want
Without being looked upon
Surrounded by patches of deep, lovely, singing blue!

And I’ll forget what death means.
Forget blazing, unrelenting, merciless fire
Forget old salts and their adventures, in an honorable grave
In the slow, murky, wet, deep, dark, time-stopping coral grave underground;
I’ll forget muffled screams of dust and grime from six feet under
I forgot the wish
or dream
or ambition
or aspiration
or objective

So when I jump
There was no failing in my legs,
Or in my feeble, ****** heart
Or in my always-moving brain
There was no faltering in my breath
No secret wish for death
Just a quick, hasty JUMP!
Exhilaration and innocence
Frivolous yearning
An evanescence hoped for by many
Because it’s worth it.

The soft blue-green of the moon’s light floods into my bedroom.
The day: over
Time ebbs away, nonexistent
The memories on the shelf fall off
The shattered glass grabs onto the moonlight and hugs it
The light dissipates
It leaves an empty shell, the remainder of light curling and taking off
to cover a faraway land with a soft reassurance of mist

The drowsiness underneath my eyes dwindles away
This is the noise that keeps me awake.
Exhilaration is pumped into my hollow bones
Painful buzzing cuts into my brain at random. The light of the moon fluctuates
The bitter food still alive on my tongue overwhelms my senses
The sharpness of the light penetrates my eye with force. I can’t see anything
The light bends, white and bright, the stars burrow into my iris
My bones are jelly, my brain is a cocoon of abhorrence, my heart is a balloon
It pops.

The beast within me ***** away at the jelly, fed.  
The creature in my brain breaks out and flies away to infest another innocent.
The noise slips away. I’m a paper girl limp on the bed.
Unable to move or feel or think or to have a heartbeat.
Quiet blossoms inside. I exist as a metaphor. I ***** my eyelids shut.
i hope they won’t fall off
The stars wink away. An infinite, dark sky looms overhead.
The darkness is a blanket, firm and reliable, warm. I drape it over myself and vanish.
Entropy lives within me. I nurture it, because it is my friend.
It flies away into its nest of clouds. It is distant. It will not come again for awhile.

Shadows shift onto the floor and murmur.
Dreams await.

© 2018
Xandra Lynch

I
The snow is blank as
My apathetic manner
A seed thrusts out; new

II
Intense agony
Spreading and twisting in a
Worthless, weeping heart

III
The product amazes
Me; it's absolutely a
Lucid, pure nothing

IV
New Year's - a silent
Lullaby; empty promise
For the hopeful/less

V
Nothing ever came
From nothing; good trees do not
Sprout rotten, ugly fruit

bright red bubbles pop from underneath my feet
red as cherry trees that won't grow
can this be blood?
dirt from in between my toenails
i wash off Mother Nature's skin  
a leaking coming from my eyes
that washes away dissatisfaction
can these be tears?
the sound of feet against the ground
solid and unloving
i slip
face down into the ground
can this be where life comes from?
an old lady plants flowers in her garden
can this be inspiration?
i am losing my train of thought
can this brain be me?

I hate this town
The beige color hangs all over it
The sky is heavy and frigid
Not the kind of frigid that invigorates you
Not the kind of frigid that runs through you
Not the kind of frigid that buzzes around you and causes the hairs on your arms to rise
The kind of dull, heavy, good-for-nothing frigid that is like a wet blanket on you.
This town absorbs the inspiration from me
Like how the universe ***** all of our souls eventually
With cruel passion no longer how you fail to escape it
This is the town that grows on you
Like a parasite

These days making poetry is easy

You


Just


Press


Enter

I turn to goo
Trapped inside my mind
Powered by empty thoughts
And nonexistent pain
The sun burns a hole
Into my cage
An untold promise

sun breaking through a stark-black sky
its rays are unconfined as it journeys through my window
I wipe the sleepiness from my eyes, but its warmth lingers
nothing ever stops, it only pauses
existing within the fabric of reality
but no longer changing it

Brisk coldness infused in silent veins
Wild wind rolling in, merciless and elegant
Piercing through everything, laughing in its wake
Trudging through layers of crunching ice and firm snow
Burning the skin off your tongue for hot chocolate
The trees shed their leaves
To let in the sky

Standing in your center of gravity
Brushing aside
wide, wistful, worrisome, wet
leaves of the forest
Life cuts into the
nightmarish amethyst of
the night,
stumbling into holes
falling, screeching
into the nanosecond of that space
Dappled waters ripple
Floating transparently
A melodious silence;
The gentle pull of breath

Listen to me
Hear the echo of a whispery voice
The resonating of a breathless rasp
The song strangled and overanalyzed to death
Listen to the stillness and coldness of my slow-moving blood
The souls I trapped,
The one I lack,
The shadows of their shaking vocal chords
Pleading for release
An entreaty long ignored
The crying, yowling, screeching, wailing, begging of man
Lost under the reverberating vibrations of eleven bells

Those words form crowns upon my head
A sacred gift not to be mocked
Hovering above,
Pronouncing me dead!
If seen, the words crumble to the ground
In any region not to be found
If caught in mine eye they shudder
Teardrops shaking, ripping through clouds!
So I stand here in my place
Quivering in deserved disgrace
As words fall onto my head
Their auras create a solid ring around
Power resounding through time if controlled,
Otherwise playing the messenger
Their call solemn
Crushing me to death
So my only hope is when I fall
Words encircle a still heart
For then, a true crown ‘tis pronounced.

I sit with no room to properly
Extend my lungs to reap fresh air
So instead I **** oxygen from
A wasteland of a mind
Hoping my heart explodes
Into a balloon
Leaving behind
Blood-stained shadows of words
On the skin of what used to be the tallest tree
So no one can blame me
For writing poems.