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9.7k · Apr 2014
Stardust
Nadia DeLevea Apr 2014
Everyday I walk around.
I don't understand what I'm seeing.
There is Stardust in my eyes.
It's fogged up my sight.
I see how everyone is the same.
With their Ugg boots, North Face Jackets,
iPhones, and Coach bags.

Just take off your empty frames and,
Get Stardust in your eyes.
See things through a vivid light.
Get Stardust in your eyes,
Be yourself and don't conform.
Get Stardust in your eyes,
And let your colors shine.

I thought I was weird.
With my off brand cloths,
And no internet on my phone.
With my black eyeliner,
And my rhythmic soul.
But my eyes are burning,
I'm exhausted from hiding.
I am who I am.

I've got Stardust in my eyes.
I see things through a vivid light.
Get Stardust in your eyes.
See the world as it really is.
Get Stardust in your eyes,
Be yourself and don't conform.
Get Stardust in your eyes,
And let your colors shine.

Be yourself, you Are unique.
With Stardust in your eyes, you see.
Don't follow the robot hipster army.
Get Stardust in your eyes,
And Shine!
Originally written as lyrics

Stardust™  By Nadia DeLevea
2.6k · Nov 2015
Blue Life
Nadia DeLevea Nov 2015
Depressed, at it's best.
Once incredibly blessed.
Now all the rest,
Unbelievably stressed.
Put to the test,
A big game a chess.
Once lightly caressed,
I somehow confessed,
distressed, not expressed,
I was simply possessed.
When reassessed,
Shall I reinvest?
My heart unexpressed,
You're unimpressed,
I'm just depressed...


Has the music vanished?
Made me black and white?
Stole the color from my soul?
Blue Life™ By Nadia DeLevea
2.0k · Jun 2014
Friday The 13th
Nadia DeLevea Jun 2014
All throughout History,
It's always been a mystery.
The most unlucky of days,
On this day we change our ways.
Careful what we do,
Careful when we tie our shoe.
Stay in and lock your door,
Don't get up off the floor.
Black cats and spilled salt,
The broken mirror is not my fault!
Avoiding ladders and a sidewalk crack,
Being on guard we do not lack.
Some say it's a day of fun,
Others shiver, hide, and run.
Some say it's black magic that comes out today,
Some say that it's demons here to stay.
Whatever your superstition on this very day,
Everyone's wits will shred and fray.
The day of bad luck comes only so often,
Let's just pray it doesn't lead to a coffin.
Superstition is a way of life. Either you don't care or Friday the 13th is a terrifying day!
                    Friday The 13th™  By Nadia DeLevea
2.0k · Apr 2017
Unrealistic Expectations
Nadia DeLevea Apr 2017
You're blind when you see me,
I'm on my knees and broken.
I remind you who I really am,
Remember these words I've spoken.

Unshakable you see me,
You see me standing tall.
Like a statue made of stone,
You see a rock who'll never fall.

Unbreakable you see me,
You see me effortlessly bold.
Like the stars will always shine,
You see power you think I hold.

Unstoppable you see me,
You see me fighting without fear.
Like relentless worriers conquer,
You see a hero who never sheds a tear.

I make my strength shine bright,
Shine to cover up my weakness.
You can't see past my Confidence,
You refuse to see me my meekness

Even stone can't stand forever,
The world will beat it down.  
I remind you I'm only human,
The world can make me drown.

Even stars can't shine so bright,
So bright to shine through the clouds.
I remind you I'm just another face,
Another face in amongst the crowds.

Even heroes can't withstand all,
Hold the weight of the world alone.
I remind you I can't hold on forever,
Excessive trials will break my backbone.

I refuse to let you believe,
Believe who you see is perfect.
A pedestal I don't deserve,
And don't EVER say I'm worth it.
Unrealistic Expectations™  By Nadia DeLevea
1.8k · Aug 2017
Thin Red Line
Nadia DeLevea Aug 2017
Though  flames  may  roar,
And  raging  fires  sore.
When  fear  stricken   heart,
We  always  play  our  part.
 

The  bleak  unsure  smoke  rises  dense  and  dark,
Each moment  grows  longer  with each little spark.
No matter  the  struggle  we keep  fighting  through,
Alert  and  aware  we  know  what  we  must  do.
 

Blind  to  a  hand  just  before
our  face,
Against  the clock  we  must  quickly  race.
For  when it  gets  down  to the  last  desperate  wire,
Swift  and  efficient  we  will  put out  that  fire.
 

Though  the  chances  are  we’ve never  met,
When  needed  a  savior  you  can  always  expect.
While  echoed  sirens  may  blare  and  ring,
We  hear  the  muffled  night  cries  sing.

 
There's  no  such  thing  as  simple  routine,
Ignoring  monotony  that  lies  in  between.
Very  real consequences  we are more  than  aware,
From possible  situations  beyond  any compare.
 

Not  a  second  allowed  for  one  breath  of  fear,
Never  a  moment   to  shed  a  single  silent  tear.
Because  when  you're  in desperate  dire  need,
We  will  always  strive  our  very  best  to  succeed.
 

Blood  flowing  in Red,  White  and  Blue,
We’re  Brothers  dedicated  in  all  that  we  do.
In  death’s  darkest  shadows  we  may  dare  to roam,
Yet  we  know  that  we  may  each  not  always  come  home.


This  is  our deepest  heartfelt  desire,
Given to  us  from a  place  so  much  higher.
In  all  that  we  do  each  risk  taken  for you,
Our  passion  runs  deep  we’re  dedicated  and  true.
 

Some  tend  to forget  that  this  is  our  real  life,
That  we  also  have children,  friends  and  our  wife.
We  walk the  thin  line  though  it  sometimes  narrows,
In  this world  we are someone’s  real  life superheroes.
 

In case you forget dear when you leave in the morning,
I ask you darling to please head my forewarning.
When  overcome  with  adrenalin I remind  you  to  fight,
To  come  home yourself  dear at  the end  of  each  night.
Thin Red Line  By Nadia DeLevea
1.8k · Dec 2013
Responsibilities
Nadia DeLevea Dec 2013
Up and down,
I've been letdown.
Will I drown,
In this horrid nightgown?
For I am only a clown,
Fallen face down.
They tell me to slowdown,
For I am the talk of the town.
I've achieved great renown,
My name has gone around,
My name a common noun.
Upon my head sits a crown,
In my voice a funny lown.
The earth has turned to a deep mud brown,
The grass has gone from my hometown.
I can't help but frown,
I begin to countdown.
Lost in this wedding gown,
My body so rundown.
I want to leave this small devastating ghost town.
Responsibilitiesby™  Nadia DeLevea
1.6k · Feb 2014
Tissue Love
Nadia DeLevea Feb 2014
My love for you is like a new box of tissues,
You keep using more, pulling one more out,
It seems as if there is an infinite amount,
Never running out.

You don’t even think about.

You use one more tissue,
Just a little more love whenever you need me.
But you don’t realize I’m not a what,
Realize WHO you are using.

Just use another, two at a time.
Discarding with ease.
One more,
Two more,
You can’t possibly run out.
Soiling it,
Crumpling it,
Then throwing me out.

But one day you’ll pull the last tissue,
Leaving nothing but an empty box.

Then what will you do?

I am not just a box of tissues.
My love WILL run out.
If you keep on using me,
Throwing my love away.
*I will leave you.
Tissue Love™  By Nadia DeLevea
1.5k · Oct 2013
The 'Pit'
Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013
Looking down inside the 'pit'
One-hundred and forty-four carved wooden skull-like heads are strewn about.  
The wooden 'skulls' seem to be hovering over the ground.
The faces carved in such a way giving off an essence of despair.
  Tormenting pain is felt bursting from within.  
Some faces have their mouths open as if wailing out in pain,
their eyes cringed in misery and desperation.
Other faces have their mouths and eyes tightly closed.
The way people do when trying with all their might,
with everything they have within them,
not to cry every tear they have hidden deep inside.  
Still other faces have wide open eyes.
Eyes that seem as if they are ******* out your very soul,
by nothing more than glancing upon them.  
Feelings of anguish and pure sorrow are portrayed in others,
for those wooden skulls have their mouths wide open.
Whilst gazing upon them your imagination tricks you.
You can clearly hear the ear splitting screams.
Screams that could only be those skulls howling out in agony.
Terrified is every ounce of courage you had.
Pain and utter-despair displaying the torment they are feeling.  
It is as if  looking down into the 'pit',
you are glancing upon eternal misery and suffering.
Do not concentrate your full attention upon the 'pit',
for will trap you into never looking away.
For the wooden skulls,
the faces of anguish,
are the souls of lost children who were.
The children who died prematurely, in safety, and in instances of terror.
Some understanding their deaths.
Some crying out “Why?” on their failing breaths.
Too young to have ever known how much their existence mattered.  
Yet their souls live on…
Death is everywhere,
constantly upon us.
It is only sooner for some than others.
But you cannot look away.
Gazing into the 'pit' at the faces of children who have deceased.
At those who have been murdered and unfairly slain.
Children from broken wombs and families.
Those who diseases overcame them.
Their ****** expressions showing such Anguish and sorrow.
Your body is paralyzed.
Overwhelming distress is washing over you.
Your heart is twisting studying the faces of pure anguish.
It is no wonder the world is as terrible as it has become,
We have evolved into a people who are selfish and controlled by time.
To busy to see what the world has done.
If only more people would ponder upon the 'pit'.
If they could see these wooden skulls.
If they could see the faces wailing out in pain.
The faces giving off an essence of despair.
Then perhaps the world could change...
This poem is based off a sculpture I drew inspiration  from while visiting ArtPrize this year.

The 'Pit'™  By Nadia DeLevea
1.4k · Oct 2013
The Blade Inside My Heart
Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013
I felt that jagged blade slice right through my bare flesh,
The unforgettable moment when my heart was first pierced.
Do you understand what you've been doing to me everyday?
I know you feel the pain,
That you of all people can empathize with me.
After all, you describe to me the same pains she causes you.
I'd think you wouldn't be so blind,
It is the same pain that you've always caused me.
Do you ever hear my silent cries,
As you twist the blade you've so brutally carved into me?
You have stabbed it deep into my heart through the hands of so many others.
Can you see the transparent tears I cry?
Forever shaking the blade through every second we spend together?
We laugh, we hug,
You make my world safe while you're with me.
Yet you are the one who is causing my slow torturous death.
Through every ounce of unbearable pain you cause me,
I have almost become numb.
For as far and deep as that blade is shoved into my heart,
I will continue to eternally endure it.
As terrible as it is,
I know my mangled heart would fail without you.
I always thought it a lie that abstinence from one's presence would deepen love.
But being apart caused me to fall madly in love with you.
It has caused you to firmly grip the handle of the blade with both your hands,
As you push that razor-sharp blade so deeply into my heart.
It's almost as if you are pulling barbed wire through my very soul,
Twisting so viciously into my heart,
That the handle on the blade is gone.
The only evidence is that you're body is covered,
Covered in the bright red stains that is my blood.
This is for you, I hope you read it one day and realize how you killed me....

The Blade Inside My Heart™  By Nadia DeLevea
1.3k · Apr 2014
Peace
Nadia DeLevea Apr 2014
Though I walk among the shadows of death,
There is still life among my breathe.
The still waters not shaken,
My soul will not be taken.
Peace™  By Nadia DeLevea
1.3k · Oct 2013
Eyes Wide Shut
Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013
I take a moment,
I close my eyes.
Darkness overcomes me.
There is a slight breeze.
My hair is blowing about my face.
I hear distant wind chimes.
The chains rustle in my ear,
As the wind sways my swing side to side.
A siren is heard.
It gets louder as I listen.
But I know a chain link fence separates me from the street.
From reality.
I smell the familiar smell,
The smell just before it rains.
I smell my neighbors smoking ***.
I hear the yelling they always do.
I block it all out.
I take a breath.
I let go of the world.
A cold wet drop hits my cheek.
Another hits my hand.
I don't hardly feel them.
The gates of the clouds open wide.
My body damp,
My cloths heavy.
Thunder echoes throughout the air.
Leaves above me are whipping about.
Someone calls out my name.
They are too quiet to be close to me.
My eyes remain closed.
I do not call out back.
I'm drowning in my own tears,
Washed away by the rain overwhelming me.
I let go of the chains I've been gripping.
I fall through the air.
Mud, it's all over me.
I don't dare open my eyes.
I lay among the leaves,
Scattered in the muddy puddles.
I feel nothing.
I lay.
I listen.
I hear crunching.
Someone near me walks through the leaves.
Fingers grasp me.
They pull me to my feet.
Hands shake me.
I will not open my eyes.
Arms wrap around me.
They pick my tired body up.
My father carries me.
I know not were we go.
But I shall not open my eyes.
Not now.
Not ever...
A moment forever frozen in my memories.

Eyes Wide Shut™  By Nadia DeLevea
1.2k · Oct 2013
Toy on the Shelf
Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013
I feel like a child's favorite toy.
The one thrown against a wall pretending it can fly.
The one whose button is pushed over and over to hear it's sound,
Until it can't talk anymore, hardly able to make a sound.
The toy cuddled and smashed under their small body every night.
"Protecting" them from the monsters under the bed.
The favorite toy they hold by the arm,
They drag it behind them wearing it out until the arm may fall off.
The one that is *****, but you can tell it was loved.
The toy that sits alone on a shelf for years on end.
Who collects dust untouched because the child has grown.
The one who has no purpose but to make people smile.
The toy that is so used and abused they say it has "character".
The toy no new child wants because it to worn.
They don't want it for it can't last much longer.
It needs new batteries, and a trip through the wash.
It needs to be stitched up in more places than one.
The toy that no longer has a purpose,
But that only makes it need more love.
Someone to love itself.
But who could love something so worn and mangled.
So it sits alone on that shelf.
Collecting dust, unseen, unrecognized.
I am that toy.
The one with no purpose.
The one on the shelf.
Unseen, unrecognized, unloved.
Toy on the Shelf™  By Nadia DeLevea
1.2k · Oct 2013
Life in Limbo
Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013
Confusion, so much confusion.
Can't remember what I've seen,
What I've heard, where I've been.
I don't know what I want,
I'm lost in this unfair world.
I'm tired, I'm lonely, I'm broken.
I cannot remember,
And I'm truly sorry...
But do not be angry with me,
For I'm frustrated enough.
It's a constant battle,
Everyday is growing more difficult.
Who am I?
Where am I?
What have I become?
I am nothing more than I liability,
A burden to all those whom I love.
I understand if you do not have the patience to care for me,
For who could love someone who cannot remember the simplest of life's tasks.
My memories are fading,
I'm living in limbo, in a constant fear of the future I know will come.
Because how can I face the future without the knowledge of my past?
Life In Limbo™  By Nadia DeLevea
1.1k · Jan 2014
Daily Struggles
Nadia DeLevea Jan 2014
I kneel,
I fold my hands,
I close my eyes.

God, I pray,
Please don't leave me today.

I stand,
I wait,
I force myself to go on.

I've struggled today,
I feel I can't do it.

But I remember my prayers,
I know God you are still with me,
You will bring me through it.
Daily Struggles™  By Nadia DeLevea
1.1k · Jan 2014
No One Understands Me
Nadia DeLevea Jan 2014
Why does no one understand me?
Am I speaking in tongues?
Do I have my own foreign language that no one knows?
I'm not that different from the world.
I'm not that different, strange, or weird.
But no one gets me,
No one sees.
No one understands me.
No One Understands Me™  By Nadia DeLevea
1.0k · Oct 2013
Portal of Colors
Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013
Arms holding wide the portal of evil.
Yet it creates the shape of peace.
The world will never understand peace.
But without evil who would long for peace.
Without evil the idea of peace would not exist.
We would have no craving for peace,
If there was no terrible evil to hunger us.
We are living in pain,
Pierced with great sadness.
Crying out for help.
The portal of evil is held open wide.
Connected to the world,
Trapping us in this temporary hell.
So desiring an escape.
The portal creates and explosion.
An explosion of chaos and fear.
White faces,dark faces.
Underneath there are no separate colors.
We face each other.
Deep into one another's eyes we gaze.
Sad expressions frozen upon all.
For peace is non-existent in a world full of evils.
Those arms will hold open the portal of evil,
Causing hatred to drip into the world.
No one will ever change.
The world will always be the same...
This poem is my description of a wickedly beautiful painting I saw while visiting ArtPrize 2013.

Portal of Colors™  By Nadia DeLevea
969 · Jul 2017
Beauty is a Beast
Nadia DeLevea Jul 2017
Like a statue I stand,
I cannot be broken.
Sharp as a blade,
I have not misspoken.

I'm already there,
All desire awoken.
Quick as lightning,
Furry bright and smok'n.

One step ahead,
I'm the whole **** ocean.
I'll get in your head babe,
So let that **** soak in.

Sweats like a boss,
That's why I get chosen.
I am the machine,
Don't need your **** token.

Confident words,
Each one that I've spoken,
Fierce as a lioness,
I can't be heartbroken.
Beauty is a Beast™  By Nadia DeLevea
946 · Oct 2013
Contemplating
Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013
Afflicted by the pain,
Of this acid rain.
Yet inside of this room,
I'm hidden all to soon.
Exploding from the inside,
From pressure on the out.
A hurricane inside my soul,
And in my heart a burning coal.
The pandemonium of this world,
I'm living in an evil hell.
Blocking out the words of others,
I'm hiding in my own small world.
It does not matter,
Nothing is real.
For pain is all I ever feel.
If you've ever realized,
Love always leads to pain.
To knock that thought,
Into your brain.
Then you'd realize that through love,
We have nothing to gain.
Contemplating™   by Nadia DeLevea
944 · Oct 2013
The Picture With Her...
Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013
Silent tears stream down my face,
As I look across the room.
You're smiling at her,
She's smiling at you.
I've been forgotten so soon.
And I only have one question...
What happened?
When was I dismissed?
We used to be so happy.
We used to live carefree.
Everyday together,
Laughing, smiling, joking,
Our hearts together were at ease.
Was it that easy to forget me?
Her I want to hate,
She's ruined my whole life.
You're all I've ever wanted,
You make my life complete.
I don't know where she came from,
But she swept you off your feet.
To me you've become blind,
She's made you push me to the side.
It hurts more than a sudden death,
Because we were so close.
The slow torture that you're causing me,
You're choking at my throat.
I've cried more because of you,
Than anyone before.
So many times I've run to my room,
And collapsed inside my door.
Impressions of my tears,
stained forever in my face.
My heart is in distress,
My breath a rapid pace.
I can't  listen about her,
A single second more!
Why can't I be the one,
Your heart desires for?
You've stuck me in the friend-zone,
Because you  care to much...
That statement has confused me so,
It makes me think uncertainly,
You care for me to much,
You'd rather hurt her than me.
Shouldn't that open up your stupid eyes,
To never let me go?
And now every time I see her,
I want to be enraged.
To claw her big brown eyes out,
Before you get engaged.
But then I look at you and see,
The smile that she brings.
It kills me more and more,
To see her in your life.
You don't think I understand,
Or don't see how much I care.
That I know you all too well.
One day she's gonna brake your heart,
And when you come to me,
I don't know if I'll be able to pick up the pieces,
And help you to your feet.
I doubt I'll still be around,
I can't take this agony much longer.
To see her take my place,
Reminds me what I could have had.
Today I saw a picture of you,
Her wrapped in your arms.
In that warm loving hug I've felt,
The one I know is yours.
The hug that saved my life,
The hug that told me I'm special,
And just how much you cared.
But you broke my heart today,
I'm shattered and destroyed.
For when I looked at your smiles,
I think I may have died.
Written through my tears after seeing a picture posted online...

The Picture With Her...™  By Nadia DeLevea
940 · Nov 2013
Midnight Shore
Nadia DeLevea Nov 2013
Washed up on the shore,
I couldn't ask for more.
The night's coming fast,
Soon this will be passed.
Still sitting in the sand,
Steady on the land.
The darkness is coming,
I will not be running.
Stars rising in the sky,
I look up and wonder why.
Waves crash upon my feet,
The moon has brought no heat.
Shivering in my skin,
The night did only just begin.
I'll sit here so much longer,
Will I ever become stronger?
Taking in this beauty,
Tell me what do you see.
Do you see the night,
Or did you leave in fright?
I'm feeling in my hand,
The many grains of sand.
Listening to the waves,
I'm sitting in a daze.
Now it's almost dawn,
I've been sitting far to long.
The sun is rising,
The waves appetizing.
Maybe I'll go for a swim,
My arms around my legs, slender and slim.
I stand to my feet,
The beautiful darkness I did defeat.
The night is over,
I walk back to my land Rover.
Midnight Shore™  by Nadia DeLevea
900 · Feb 2014
Dreams Hurt
Nadia DeLevea Feb 2014
Last night I drempt I saw you again.
It all seemed so real,
Never Did I doubt it was only a dream.

I saw your face clearly,
Clearer than I knew my memories could allow.
Your smile, your smell, the feel of your arms around me,
Never once did I doubt it was only a dream.

I stared in disbelief,
You grabbed me, you held me, I cried on your chest.
Never once did I doubt it was all only  a dream.

The thing about dreams is that time has no control of them.
We did all the things we used to do,
It was as if all the years we spent together we re-lived in a few hours.
Never Did I doubt it was only a dream.

I had let you go, I knew you were gone.
But now I miss you more than ever.
Even if It was only a dream.

This morning I went to see the Lily we'd planted,
It's the only piece of you I have left.

As much as I still love you,
As much as I will always miss you,
As much as I want to dream of you again.
I'm afraid to fall asleep again,
Dreaming of you hurts to much...
Dreams Hurt™  By Nadia DeLevea
880 · Nov 2013
Wings
Nadia DeLevea Nov 2013
If I only had the wings of a dove,
I'd fly away into grace.
The wings of an eagle,
I'd sore into peace.
Yet I am chained,
Chained to a boulder which is the world.
If I was set free to fly,
I would sore into the sun.
Wings™ by Nadia DeLevea
867 · Jan 2014
I know I'm different...
Nadia DeLevea Jan 2014
I know I'm strange,
But I can't change.

You all look at me like I'm a freak.
All this staring makes me shriek.

I lock myself inside my room,
I feel as though it's my tomb.

No one knows how much I've been crying,
No one knows how much I've been trying.

It's evident I'm different from all of you,
But my personality's a permanent tattoo.

I can see how you all keep away,
With me, no one wants to stay.

Treating my space as a Museum of art,
Come in and look, then quickly depart.

I want so bad to hate you all,
For you've made my life stumble and fall,
I can hardly pick myself up tall.

To simply fit in is all I want,
I tried so hard to be nonchalant,

I've made myself empty and blank,
Left who I am on that lonely riverbank.

I've become invisible at last,
and I think I like it like that.

**At least now, I'm not being judged.
I know I'm Different™  By Nadia DeLevea
861 · Jan 2014
A Winter Night's Journey
Nadia DeLevea Jan 2014
It's the middle of the Night,
I wake with a great Fright.

I must drive Home,
Then I won't be so Alone.

I pack up a Bag,
For not a moment do I Lag.

I started to Drive,
At sunset I would Arrive.

The snow was coming Down,
It was white out all Around.

Driving faster and Faster,
I'd regret it all After.

Snow had covered the Ice,
Driving was a gamble, and I tossed the Dice,

Sliding along the Road,
My mind a heavy Lode.

Cutting over in front of Me,
The semi I almost did not See.

My foot heavy on the Brake,
My whole body began to Shake.

My life flashing before my Eyes,
No one ever heard my Cries.

Sliding, black ice, holding on with all my Might,
I spun through the air that horrid winter Night

Crashing down in a Ditch,
I cried, I shook, I felt my heart Twitch.

I looked up in front of Me,
A small white cross I could See.
Why God would You save Me?

Not a scratch, or a bruise, at least nothing that was New,
I was so scared, I had no idea what to Do.

There was smoke I could Smell,
At least I thought I could Tell,

I took the key Out,
There was no getting free, of that I had no Doubt.

It seemed like forever I sat in the Dark,
Waiting to see a single Spark.

I turned the engine back On,
The road I attempted to drive back Upon.

I don't know how I drove back Up,
To pull me out I assumed I'd need a Pickup.

Back on the road I began to Cry,
This was so stupid, why did I even Try?

Turning around I began my slow journey Back,
The night was dark, cold, and Black.

Tomorrow again I'd Go,
Perhaps then they will have cleared the Snow.

Then maybe I can make it Home,
With my family I am never Alone.

On this cold winter night I thank you God,
You saved my life, Your strength I Applaud.
AWinter Night's Journey™  By Nadia DeLevea
829 · Feb 2014
Nightly Occurrence
Nadia DeLevea Feb 2014
Laying into the deep night,
Head in great agony,
Mind, in shambles.
What happened?
How did it end up like this?
Slowly clicking on each memory,
Consciously deleting each one.
I cannot go on in this dark misery,
Living in this ghastly world.
Something must change,
But it's not fair!
For why am I the only one who can change it all?
Nightly Occurrence™  By Nadia DeLevea
807 · Oct 2013
My Love is Not Selective
Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013
Living my life,
With my eyes wide open.
I want to see,
Everyone's side spoken.
I don't care who you are,
As long as you're you.
I will except anyone,
As long as they're true.
I don't care if you're gay,
Or black, Asian, or white.
Whoever you are, I will love you,
With every flaw, and all my might.
Why should I judge,
No one gave me that power.
For I too am a sinner,
Above no one do I tower.
My love reaches to everyone,
No one is left out.
My heart is wide open,
Just come to me and shout.
My Love is Not Selective™   by Nadia DeLevea
778 · Oct 2013
Inner Most Life
Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013
Stars are falling,
Out of the sky.
People all leave us,
They say good-bye.

A lake of screams
I'm drowning in.
A sharp disaster,
While I'm loving sin.

Deep in slumber,
Forever sleeping.
I lay awake,
Wide eyed, I'm weeping.

The world is failing,
My life is burning.
I keep on living,
Forever learning.

Impressions upon my face,
From the stains of each tear.
Living in hiding,
I'm forever in fear.

In a room full of people,
I was never more alone.
My heartbeat a sad melody,
Played on the saxophone.

Never a moment,
Not one second of peace.
An army of emotion,
My soul shall release.

The world is frail,
It shatters like glass.
Slow steady hands,
As we all quietly pass.
Inner Most Life™  By Nadia DeLevea
758 · Oct 2013
A Moment of Peace
Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013
Do you know that feeling just before you fall asleep?
When you are only but floating in reality?
There is nothing.
You aren't awake, but not yet asleep.
Not even able to think anymore.
A feeling of being in a cloud, high above reality.
A state of nonexistence, a moment of nothingness.
A state of complete and utter abstinence from the world.
When nothing matters, because everything is perfect.
There is no stress, anger, or even a thought of tomorrow.
The moment where everything's alright.
The only moment of peace some of us ever have.
A Moment of Peace™  By Nadia DeLevea
726 · Oct 2016
Blue Blooded
Nadia DeLevea Oct 2016
Every night I watch you,
With pride, you put your uniform on.
I know you're leaving soon,
I heard the velcro of your vest,
I heard you load your gun.
I peek down the stairs,
I watch you kneel, eyes shut,
I say a silent prayer with you.

May God watch over you tonight,
May Angels ride beside you.
May the Lord protect you,
And keep you in his sight.
May He give you strength to deal,
Deal with the unknown traumas.
May He give you courage,
At the darkest part of the night.
May He give you patients,
For those who just want to fight.
May He keep you confident,
Through all the disrespect.
And when the sun comes up,
And dawn is finally here.
May he bring you home to me,
Safe and well and here.

For I know that you are strong,
The strongest man I know,
And so must we be too.
For in this family we BLEED BLUE!!!
Blue Blooded™ By Nadia DeLevea
722 · Feb 2014
Music
Nadia DeLevea Feb 2014
Each note holds me amid the light air.
Each breath consumes the melody.
Floating, I'm elated,
Bouncing along each gay beat.
Nothing is real,
yet everything illuminated.
For a quiet moment everything is okay.
My heart, at peace.
My life,the music.
My heartbeat, the calming melody.
My breath in sync with each beat.
Each key tenderly hit adds to the story,
The meaning of life.
Stunning is each note.
It strips away the pain,
My misery, my anguish,
My fear, I am vulnerable.
For a moment, I am complete.
Then,
It ends...
Only silence,
As Reality resumes,
As quickly as it began,
Back to the cold,cruel world.
Music™  By Nadia DeLevea
714 · Oct 2013
Who I Am
Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013
You think I'm far to crazy,
A little bit loud, maybe lazy.
You think I rock out hard,
That I play like a beast on guitar.
My sparkles shine so far,
My glamour's far to much.
But this is me,
It's who I am.
So my style's glam,
Well baby, that's my plan.
With this glitter on my face,
I'll tie my black boots laced.
My eyes I'll do up too,
With liners black or blue.
So here I am,
This is the real me.
Now that I'm grown,
My life I live alone.
My attitude is cruel,
The dance floor I will rule.
Take a good long look,
Cuz I'm an open book.
**This is who I am.
Written in 2009, It was a surprise poem I found it in an old notebook.
Who I Am™  By Nadia DeLevea
697 · Oct 2013
Forgiven
Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013
I was more than confused,
I was lost and conflicted.
Struggling with myself,
Because I knew were you stood.
Where you will forever stand.
You got with another,
And at first you broke my heart.
But I realized,
I Forgive you
I don't care anymore,
You can no longer hurt me,
For it was me hurting myself.
When I took a step back,
I gazed at reality.
You know what I realized,
As I took a deep breath?
That it was never the her,
It was always me.
I Forgive Her
She was wrongly accused.
I don't want to be loved by you anymore,
I'm ok with what we've always had.
I don't ever want to lose you.
I love seeing you this happy.
If she makes you smile,
Then I'll smile too.
I just want you to know,
I will always support  both of you.
My love for you is deeper than that,
I could never lose,
My very best friend.
So I am not mad,
And I will not hate.
Just send a smile my way,
And I'll be ok.
Because you are
**Forgiven
For DEM who art my  brother, and my very best friend.  You hold a special place in my heart that only you can fill.  
Forgiven™ by Nadia DeLevea
Nadia DeLevea Jul 2017
Weary, so weary. ..
Exhausted I'm spent.
I'm broke down,
I'm damaged,
Ive got nothing left.

Weakness taken hold,
Strength nonexistent.
Dazed and confused,
I just need a minute!

To catch my breath!
To find my sight!
Before I lose my balance!
Just hold on!
One more step!
Where's the map?
I'm lost!
I've had it!

With bones of glass,
With paper skin,
With hands that won't quit shaking.
I can't hold on,
Alone again,
I'm cracked, I'm suffocating.

My mind frazzled,
My heart defeated.
My courage lost at sea.
Dragging my baggage,
I stand at the edge,
I cannot even see!

I scream straight from my soul.
Holler out with no control.
Fatigued, defenseless, collapsed,
Silent tears soak my knees.
I sob, I weep, I cry out loud,
Why me,
Can't breath,
Knocked to the ground.

Yet no one will know,
Or don't seem to care.
How fragile they've made me,
Each taking their share.
I beg, I plea, I gag on spite,
I hear them laugh in great delight.

They light me up,
They burn me down.
They dance on top,
They spin around.
They drag me under,
They watch me suffer,
They walk away,
They grin and chuckle.

Gasping for life,
Pull myself from the rubble,
A shadow of ashes,
An outline in dust,
Flames lit in my soul,
Give strength from within.
A Phoenix I rise,
No choice,
I must.
Glass is  Sharpest when Broken™  By Nadia DeLevea
672 · Nov 2014
Pain...
Nadia DeLevea Nov 2014
They say no pain no gain,
But pain will knock you down.
Pain is like rain,
And some of us are drowning.
We all have scars,
We're locked behind bars.
If we could only escape,
Our lives are left agape.
Every silent tear,
Thrown into the atmosphere.
And we are left silently drowning...
Pain™ By Nadia DeLevea
653 · Oct 2013
Class
Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013
Sitting, sitting, siting...
It's only been two minutes.
I swear it's been fifteen.
I'm cold.
I'm tired.
Tired of sitting.
Still sitting.
Two more minutes...
Still sitting.
I may be here forever.
I'm getting restless.
Why is the clock so slow?
Sitting, sitting, sitting.
Still sitting.
Two more minutes,
Now it's been eight...
Shouldn't class have ended by now?
Hasn't the time been more than enough?
It will be a miracle to make it through this.
Sitting some more.
Three minutes this time.
I can't help but look at the evil clock.
I tell myself to quit,
But I look again.
Ten minutes creep by.
I swear it was forty-five.
Two more minutes...
There's only seven more.
Still sitting, sitting, sitting.
I can't take much more.
I've been sitting my life away.
Just sitting here.
Five more to go.
I'm cold.
I'm tired.
I'm hungry.
I'm dying...
All I want is to go home.
Away from this torture chamber that is my class.
Time must have slowed down further.
I was unaware that time was capable of slowing down this much.
I keep on sitting through it.
Sitting, sitting, sitting some more.
Two minutes,
It feels like fifty.
Only one more to go.
I'll never make it.
Class dismissed,
I run for my life.
But I'll be back tomorrow.
Back to sit some more.
Class™  By Nadia DeLevea
645 · Oct 2013
Your Nonexistent Love
Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013
He makes me want to smile,
I hope he stays awhile.
For him I'll always care,
My heart with him I long to share.
I hate when we're apart,
For it tears at my heart.
But for him I have to fight,
I'm holding on with all my might.
My respect makes me weak,
Strength I'm longing to seek.
Why must I be the one to fight?
If he loved me back I'd be in his sight.
He gives me butterflies,
The moment he's in my eyes.
I've never felt these things before,
With myself I am at war.
I want all of his love,
But I ponder why others I should be above.
I don't want to think of a future without him,
I think I'd live isolated atop a mountain.
My future with him looks grim,
For her he flees for her smallest whim.
It is killing me to see the same love in his eyes,
As I have for him for a girl I despise.
I don't want to let him go,
But I hate living in this stupid limbo.
I want to make him love me,
But the pain he's caused me this last year I cannot see.
I cannot give him away,
Together forever I wish we could stay.
Why did he have to tease me with his love,
Then unfairly dismiss me as soft as dove?
My love for him is so strong,
I am dying being strung along.
Why can't I just let him go?
They told me I'd reap the seeds which I sow.
Your Nonexistent Love™  By Nadia DeLevea
608 · Oct 2013
Tears...
Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013
Tears so fast,
My eyes are swollen.
They're streaming down my face.
A quiet breath.
I'll be alright.
Two lines of tears,
They're streaming down my face.
I sob out harder,
Collapsed on my floor,
I don't know how I could cry a single tear more.
Salty tears upon my lips,
They're streaming down my face.
Sometimes feeling loved can be the most painful thing in the wold.

Tears...™  By Nadia DeLevea
583 · Oct 2013
Melody of My Torn Heart
Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013
It is dark,
I cannot see.
You've left your mark,
But it's only me.

You didn't have to knock me down.
I hadn't built myself up high.
My face is frozen in a frown,
I've fallen so low I can't even try.

You've broken me hard,
I can't hardly breath.
Now my life forever on guard,
How could you be so rude to tease?

All I want to do is cry,
The safe sound of music is all I can bear.
My life is swiftly flying by,
For my heart your evil so did tear.
Melody of My Torn Heart™  By Nadia DeLevea
581 · Oct 2013
Life's A Game
Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013
Never again,
Will I let myself win.
It's better to loose,
When you have something to prove.
I hate playing this game,
It makes me seem lame.
It's a battle, life's a war,
And we have to know what we're fighting for.
Life's A Game™  By Nadia DeLevea
564 · Aug 2017
Sun kissed Soul
Nadia DeLevea Aug 2017
Morning sunshine sings it's song,
It makes me want to sing along,
I know I'm right where I belong,
My head held high for I am strong.

And when the day drags on long,
More complicated than mahjong,
When all emotions play ping pong,
I swear I'll prove all doubts wrong.

Try as you might that grey prolong,
Only I can ring my own life's gong,
Don't ever try to drag me along,
For I am the sunshine all day long.
Sun Kissed Soul™  By Nadia DeLevea
553 · Jan 2014
Delusional Reality
Nadia DeLevea Jan 2014
Dark, like I'm dreaming,
Life isn't really as bad as it's seeming.
Almost as if I'm sleeping,
The consequences I'm reaping.
Is all this fake?
My soul this world attempts to take.
Nothing is real,
Nothing do I feel.
Forever dreaming,
The darkness reaming.
Delusional Reality™  By Nadia DeLevea

Dreams- a progressions of hallucinations (images), thoughts, emotions, and senses  that transpire compulsorily in the mind.
537 · Oct 2013
Tell Me
Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013
So here I am,
All alone,
So confused.
I don't know what I want,
I don't know what to do.
All I know is,
I still want you.
I'm singing you life's song,
Why won't you sing along.
I don't know what I've done,
I don't know why you've run...
So I'm sitting here wondering,
I'm sitting here waiting.
Please put me out of my misery,
Just tell me what you want from me.
Tell me what to do,
Tell me what to say,
Tell me how to walk,
Tell me how to talk.
Honestly I'm tired,
I'm sick of trying my best,
For I always come up short.
And now I'm sick,
I'm sick of trying,
I'm sick of hoping,
I'm sick of wondering.
Just tell me what to do,
Tell me what you want.
I'm always slipping up,
Never good enough for you.
I don't know what I've done,
Can't you just tell me what to do?
Tell Me™  By Nadia DeLevea
531 · Nov 2018
Street Addiction
Nadia DeLevea Nov 2018
Across the air rang like a choir,
Screaming out, "please ceasefire!"

My enemies my death conspire,
Hunting as with wolflike desire,

Each soul appears not but a liar,
Flesh torn, ripped on barbed wire,

Lust a blood like burning fire,
Swept away with ashes prior,

Kindling under darkest desire,
Shadowed street hunts supplier,

Skeletal corpses crawl to acquire,
Trading of souls given and buyer,

Needing a fix goes higher, higher,
Laced with delusions do transpire,

Beautiful psychosis of thorny brier,
Taken ahold discarded shier,

Memories faded in treaded tire,
Eyes glare don't dare to enquire,

Undoubtedly lost in death retire.
It's a different kind of world out there in the city streets at night. Desperation of addictions and an unknown kind of darkness.
498 · Mar 2014
Friend
Nadia DeLevea Mar 2014
Faces Broken,
Words unspoken.
Never ending,
The truth is bending.
You keep lying,
My soul is dying.
Freind™  By Nadia DeLevea
498 · Oct 2013
What Is Love?
Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013
Love*
It's when you run up your three step porch,
Throw open the door,
And yell out, "I'm home!"
Love
It's when an eight year old comes running,
So excited to see you,
She's calling out your name.
Love
It's the feeling you get,
Causing you to drop to your knees,
Eye level, at her height.
Love
It's embarrassing her,
Holding her tightly in your arms.
Love
It's what you feel,
When she whispers, "I missed you so much!"
Love
It's why you never want to let go,
Let go of the precious little girl.
That's what love is,
It's simple, yet divine.
It's a passion for another person,
It's why you always put them first.
They're the reason you keep on living,
The reason you couldn't live without.
What Is Love?™  By Nadia DeLevea
493 · Jan 2014
Bring Me Home Lord
Nadia DeLevea Jan 2014
The day is done, my body broken,
This late at night I can't be woken.
For now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray my soul the Lord doth keep.
The night is long, dark, and eerie,
By my side I pray that You'll be.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray my death shan't be fake.
I beg you Lord my soul to take!
For I can't live another day,
On this Earth don't make me stay.
Bring Me Home Lord™  By Nadia DeLevea
492 · Aug 2017
Heart of a Wildcat
Nadia DeLevea Aug 2017
Fallen down flat,
*** for tat,
Enough of that,
Small as a gnat,
Swept under the Matt,
My back don't pat,
Not but a rat,
Treat me as ****,
Fell through the slat,
Next up to bat,
Enough chit chat,
Lost in combat,
Set in format,
Don't copycat,
A spinning laundromat,
Or broken thermostat,
Scared little pussycat,
Decisions arrived at,
Flexible as an acrobat,
Masked aristocrat,
Hiding in a top hat,
Known through Snapchat,
Don't even work at,
Used like a doormat,
Cat calling at,
Filed caveat,
Blind as a bat,
Lost sewer rat,
Fallen down flat.
Heart Of A Wildcat™  By Nadia DeLevea
459 · Oct 2013
Denlive
Nadia DeLevea Oct 2013
It is so very dark,
On the world I've left my mark.
I am so done,
I just want to run.
I'm sitting all alone,
Def to every single tone.
Prone to wander,
I can't live much longer.
Let's put it all aside,
For I don't want to hide.
Trying to be myself,
I don't need money and wealth.
I have all that I need,
The world is who I want to feed.
I will use my pain,
Why not feel the rain.
My anger will I use,
No longer want to feel the blues.
Just want to forget it all,
My list of troubles stands quite tall.
My scars are so deep,
That I cannot even sleep.
But I will not stop trying,
Even though I am crying.
I'll try till I'm dying,
And no, I am not lying.
Written a year ago in while I was in class.

Denlive™  By Nadia DeLevea
438 · Nov 2015
Where is my melody?
Nadia DeLevea Nov 2015
Has my melody left me?
Has the music left my soul?
Has the creativity I once had,
Has it taken a heavy toll?
Can I crawl from this hellhole?
Regain my strong role?
Take back what they stole?
Refind my own control?
Will this be rigmarole?
Rigmarole- confused or meaningless,  a complex and sometimes ritualistic procedure
Where is my melody™ By Nadia DeLevea
426 · Jan 2014
Alone
Nadia DeLevea Jan 2014
Sitting here surrounded,
People all around.
Yet never was I more alone,
There's no one, no where to be found.

Standing in a snowstorm,
Snow swirling all about.
Cold, and hurt, and all alone,
There's no one, no where to be found.

I fall, I cry, I hit the ground.
I look for help, I scream out loud.
But there's no one, no where to be found.

I've come to the conclusion,
Although I hate it so.
In this world,
I am all,
but ,
**Alone...
Alone™  By Nadia DeLevea
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