Dear World,

Today is
   The day I
      Break down the walls.

Today is
   The day I
      Breathe it all in.

Today is
   The day I
      Open my heart.

Today is
   The day I
               LIVE.

For so long
I have barricaded myself
Behind the thickest of masks,
And now it is time
For it to fall

No longer a
Nameless face,
A lost human,
A waste of space

Today is
   The day I
      Learn to fly!

                                             -Boy*



Boy,

Today is
   The day I
      Break your heart in two.

Today is
   The day I
      Let reality suffocate you.

Today is
   The day I
     Close your mind.

Today is
   The day your aspirations
                                       DIE.

For I am
To harden your heart
I will leave you rejected
With no hope
Of ever belonging.
Draw the mask
Back over your face
This is not a place
For being yourself.

Today is
   The day I
      Permanently break your wings.

                                                               -World

my fingers are like matches

because everything I touch turns to ash.

I swear my intentions are golden

and my goals are pure.

but I can’t seem to keep from burning bridges

and speaking singed words.

Hey.
I'm glad you came here.
Thank you for remembering this.
Thank you for remembering to look at this.
I know it hurts.
God.
I know.

You're scared out of your mind that this is going to be your entire life.
Full of pain.
Full of fear.
Full of depression and anxiety.
Full of storms and trials that leave you breathless on the ground, shaking from the panic that courses through your blood.
You think that if you just die now, you'll be in heaven.
Where it is so much better.
Where there is no pain.
No depression.
No anxiety.
No fear.


But, you have your life to live right now.
And it won't be an awful life.
How do I know?

Because beauty is in everything and it is just waiting to fully bloom.

You want to know the beauty that was in today?
Today, I had an amazing, life-giving conversation.
My fears and thoughts were validated.
I was told I wasn't alone.
I geeked out with him over film.
And I was given the biggest compliment.
I was told that my mind intrigued him.
We shared about our own experiences with depression.
We talked about God and how sometimes there just aren't answers.
It was amazing and it was just what I needed.
You won't have that if you make your thoughts a reality.

I want you to remember everything and everyone you love.
On earth.
In this life.
I want you to remember why you need to stay alive.

Remember your family.
Remember your dad who is going through so much pain.
Remember your mom who is fighting to stay with you.
Remember your brother who loves you, even though it does not feel like it.
Remember your cousin who will do anything for you.
Remember that they will do everything in their power to help you.

Remember your friends.
Remember your best friend who won't know what to do without you.
Remember your teachers who pray and talk with you.
Remember how they are fighting with you and for you.

Remember your favorite things.
Remember driving in your car at night with your music blasting.
Remember reading a good book with the warmth of the fireplace.
Remember the rush of taking a risk, whether physical or emotional.

Remember tea and peaches and blankets and books.
Remember conversations and movies and passion and love.
Remember oceans and mountains and flowers and stars.

Remember all the little things.
Remember how life can be so surprising.

So get your headphones,
blast your music,
drown out those voices,
and when you're ready,
go to sleep.
I promise that it won't be so bleak in the morning.

Tightening her lips-
Expectantly--
Waiting for,
Me to look
Up

-When my lungs had
Fallen out from feeling

And the heartbeats became-
More--more
Plastic

With intestines resting
So-peacefully under
Remembering snow.

I ask?

A question.

In a parallel universe you’re still alive
In a parallel universe i called you first
In a parallel universe i wasn’t  so proud
In a parallel universe we´re still together

In a parallel universe you didn’t die,
you’re still with me,
and last week i managed to make that stupid call,
I told you how much i missed you
and that i was worried about you
you answered with your usual indiferent and detached tone of voice
and told me not to worry,
that everything was fine,

I guess that’s why we where so perfect together
We trusted no one and never share too much
But even in the shallow talks
We knew how much we meant to eachother

In a parallel universe,
we would have made plans for the weekend
we would have bought some beers
and talk about men

In a parallel universe you never left

Gazing up at the night sky on a clear winter night he asked "Where do stars go during the day Dad?"
I responded "the stars are still up in space but the brightness of the sun on our side of the earth during the day is too bright for our eyes to focus on them"
After a deep breath he exclaimed "Why does it go dark then?"
"Get a football and tennis ball and I'll explain Son. Look, the football is the sun, Earth is the tennis ball"
I then held both ***** up in front of him mimicking earths rotation around the sun
"Earth rotates on its own axis like this as it also rotates around the sun. The dark side of the earth is night time. The side facing the sun which is bright is day time."
"Oh" he said wide eyed. He looked up to the sky again and paused.

.......


" Dad, Is there cheese on the moon?"
He gave no time for me to answer when he swiftly added.
"Shall I get you another ball so you can explain?"