My mind races with memories torn up and scattered around with my tornado of destruction
Self-hate lingers in my veins and I fight for breath to fill my crumbling lungs with something other than sorrow
My body weighs heavy with emptiness and with bruises
I soak in continuous numbness
I feel nothing
I ache to feel something other than nothing

she gave and gave till her heart faded away
she gave her soul
she gave her mind
she gave her sanity
she gave and gave and yet you couldn't sacrifice a breath for her

my veins flow with life
life flows through me and nourishes the flowers that grow in my soul
my spirit loves to wander endlessly
exploring people's hearts and minds with every intent to learn more
seeing the flowers that grow in their soul
every cell fights to keep me alive
i am connected with the universe
every cell relates us to everything to exist in the universe
we are all one
put down our boundaries and restraints and you will be set free
you will see what i see
pure bliss
we are all one
we are the universe

Dear future daughter,
Don’t grow up too fast
Feel the sun’s warmth tingle on your skin no matter the season
Dance around in the rain and listen to the birds sing
Hear the crisp crackling of thunder and feel the storm in the air right before it rains
Do not be afraid
Go barefoot and feel the earth between your toes
You are one with the surroundings around you
Never forget that
Explore to the ends of the universe and never lose curiosity

Dear future daughter,
Trust others and always be kind
Fall in love and enjoy every second
You will have many heartbreaks and many loves
Allow the heartbreaks to be moments where you become stronger
You will lose people and you will meet new people
Everyone comes and leaves your life for a purpose
Never be afraid to be who you are
Do not allow others to step on your brightness
You will meet people who hurt others to feel better about themselves
Always be kind to them but never let them win

Dear future daughter,
I love you

every time i breathe i think of you
you're on my mind every single second of the day
my mind races with the thought of you
the memories are all i see even when i have my eyes closed
i only see you

I wish you wanted me the way you wanted the drugs to fill your blood.

Oh what I would do just to feel your arms around me
Your warmth keeping my cold body warm
I want to feel your head rest with mine
Arm in arm
Happy
Oh what I would do for you to be mine

The air became dense and the wind began to blow
A single question arose in my mind on constant repeat with flow
The clouds turned dark and thick
I feel numb
Birds fly making noises to avoid the upcoming storm
Rain landed on my flushed cheeks making me realize the warmth that they've produced
I can't feel
My tears fell with the rain and my heart began to race as my legs carried me with my mind unaware as to where I was going
My body aches
I ran
and ran
and ran
I reached the cliff and sprinted to the end
I feel numb
I want to feel alive
I jumped and felt the lightness in my body I desired
The wind filled my lungs
I could breathe
I could do anything
Before I hit the water my skin tingles to brace itself
I was engulfed in the piercing cold water that was dark blue
My hairs rose up and my body awakes
I feel the joy rise in my belly as I swam to the surface feeling the current help me up as if it were my only support system
I know the answer now
I am alive
I am not numb
I feel
And my body aches for more