As time slips by
And the heart heals the wounds
I tell myself now
That it's okay to think of you

So I close my eyes
And I go back back to that place
Wait, something is wrong here
Why can't I see your face?

On the rooftop, on a cloudless night
You a shadow, me a haze
I remember hugging you tight
But why can't I feel the embrace?

Was it not all your fault?
I thought you parted ways
And yet, as we held hands,
I see I left some space

Every time I looked into your eyes
Or told you that I care
Or pulled you closer and stole a kiss
Or when we lay next to each other, bare
Your memories shall remain my penance
Because I was never really there.

Chin tucked in,
Relax your spine
Calm your fluttering heart
Repeat: everything will be fine.

Forget your luggage
Grab on to some faith
Perpetual turbulence ahead
Take a deep breath.

Under no circumstances
Should you close your eyes
Under your seat is no parachute
Feel free to use the floating device.

Inconvenience is regretted
Your heart shall not make it intact.
So hold it out anyway
And brace yourself for impact.

Dreams now supine
Rotting into fantasies
Oblivious to the schism
Preferences decided
By an algorithm
The scorching sun
This burning pyre
What more will it take
To set yourself on fire
Killing your instinct
Shaming is taming
****** oozing
You were born to be
A statutory warning
An inherent cast out.
The fuse is in your hands
Don’t you dare fizzle out.
You feel it
You repress it
A dynamite
Convinced it’s a firecracker.
Time to smell the gunpowder
Clickity click.
Trembles the wicker
To dust off the ashes
You must
Burn down the empire.
Proceed with no caution

Set yourself on fire.

One day
As I sit there
with Death
by my side
Before my life flashes
Right before my eyes
Though the person
I loved
and the person you are
Are no longer the same
I am certain I will ask Her
To slow down the parts
With you in them.

You tried all you bandages
Your meditations
And your meds
And yet it pierces
through all your distractions
This faithful pain
that wishes
to whisper to your heart
That what it ought to hear
And it won’t stop
Till it reaches.
So, open that wound
And pick on your flesh
Look at your gods
And watch them shudder
This is your moment
Make it loud and clear
Don’t you dare go numb
You need to remember
How this feels
Raw, just like you
Don’t let Time
rob you blind
Before the time to heal
Comes your right to burn
You shall have your day
To let it go
But, for now,
Let it hurt.

Once, in my heart.

Now: in my block list.

Always, on my mind.

I close my eyes

Because it is easy.

And

I am lazy.

Memories play on cue.

Tears obey gravity.



My watch feels awfully creative

It goes tock tick.

And I do nothing differently

Except, maybe breathe a little slowly.

The beauty in our hate

I open my eyes, they're

Infected by retrospection.



I try too hard to make things look simple.

Because my wisdom

Is a string of pop songs.

So you ask me when we’ll meet.

And I tell you where, instead.

A place called Someday.

You mistake my tattered love

For intellectual ambiguity

And though I’m dying to explain,

I am painfully lazy.

All that I think is mine,
All that I think is me,
is a summation of what I've been told,
of what I've been instructed to see.

'Who am I' is not the question.
The crisis is not one of identity.
Don't be misled, my friends.
The real illusion is this 'me'.

There is nothing new inside there.
Just scribbled notes and summaries.
A bunch of borrowed opinions
And some stolen memories.

I know I can talk and share today.
I can scream to make some noise.
But I hope by the day I die,
I'll have somehow, found my voice.

I fear silence.
Not because I will hear nothing.
I fear it,
because I will hear myself.

Take a moment.
Your life is taking you places.
And I will be forgotten
Amidst all the faces.
Take a moment.
For some, day it might all make sense.
My words can be deceitful.
But you can hear my love in the silence.

You'd be pretty lucky,
if you caught my eyes
staring back into yours.
I'd like to tell you a good reason,
weave a tale of heartwarming lies,
Alas, there's no story behind my evasive eyes.

I nod when I mean to scream 'yes'
To every whim you have.
I smile when I mean to laugh.
I compliment you with the most beautiful of words,
In my silence, I hope you hear me say.
I was born a misdirecting sign-post,
hoping to lead you the right way.


If you'd know me, I'd like to believe,
You'd fall in love with me.
Indefinitely. Instantly.
But in this infinitesimally small moment
that we share,
In an obnoxiously loud world that we stay,
That little space between us is all it takes
For all that is unsaid to lose its way.

If you'd know me, I'd like to believe,
You'd fall in love with me.
Instantly. Indefinitely.
If you'd give me a while,
You could hear, you could see.
You'd know how hopelessly in love I am,
as inarticulate as my thoughts may be.
But with the years it has learned,
This stupid, hopeless heart of mine.
That it simply does not have the luxury of time.

He trains every night,
for the enemy is strong.
His limits, they beg him to stop,
but he pays no heed,
for the night is still long.

Inspiration people find,
in his commitment, relentless.
The fiercest of enemies would shiver,
at his strategies so flawless.

Yet this warrior so perfect,
fails every time he goes to war.
It is not the strength,
the weapons, the planning,
the training, that fail his attacks.
Excruciating - the pain that travels through his spine,
As he stabs himself every time, in the back.

You stare at her and she stares back
You smile, and behold, she only stares back
So beautiful, so...perfect,
"Could she be mine?"
The brain, it backs off
as you start thinking from your groin.
For a few moments, reality loses it's power
to the frozen face of a woman,
that simply stares back.

Rejected, dejected, somewhere
Lies another girl turning to ether,
For ugly and shy rarely mix together,
Unlikely a place to find a gift,
A gift that lures men to what she's not.
A pity, for this angel with her wand
and a flash of light,
Captures all shades and colors,
from white to black,
for men who hate her and drool as they watch,
the beautiful girl that only stares back.

On his deathbed he smirked,
Knowing he would leave behind
His sins with the rest of his mess
Death, after all,
was just eternal blackness.
Just as he took his last breath,
He stood there gloating
Proud of everything he'd done wrong
Till the smile vanished from his face,
As the lights came on.

Within the stories that define,
and memories that linger.
Within the words I write
and the words I whisper,
Part woven, part entangled
Partly hidden, never quite lost,
Similes jump in
to find the expressions I lack,
Partly stuck, partly you hold on,
Like a needle in a haystack.

I owe you an apology.
For my behavior is erratic.
But if you could hear the voices within,
Maybe it would be quite clear
A confused soul is worth nothing.

Things aren't going as they're supposed to.
I could correct their course,
if I only knew how they're supposed to.
What I have is not what I want.
And what I want,
Is probably not worth having.
Like, I said: An apology is due.
For a confused soul, is worth nothing.


Hopefully one day,
I'll get what I want.
Or learn to love what I have.
Till then, I hope this struggle rips me apart.
I hope it keeps me up at night,
as I remember a thousand goodbyes.
And hopefully one day,
it'll make sense.
Because I've lived long enough,
with the feeling that something's missing.
And baby, I know it better than anyone else.
A confused soul is worth nothing.

I am invincible.
Unbeatable. Headstrong.
Each step I take today,
with a marked conviction.
My blood pumps with purpose.
Over-saturated adrenalin
Finds rationale a bit overrated.


All I remember next,
as my thoughts follow my fall,
Is a question that has haunted me often.
Where'd I go wrong?
Wasn't I invincible?
Unbeatable? Headstrong?