Let water fall
forlorn down,

cascade sorrowful
past perpetual loss

sourced from wellsprings
that saturate pinnate lines

and sustain interstitial spaces
of silent missensed mourning.

Let sensate streams buoy
and suffuse afresh to rise

fertile, fecund, fulfilled.
Now wash the withered

and woeful
past away.​

Markings

    He asked the farmer, "What is holy?"
    In his eyes,
    it is the sun that burns
    his crops.

    He asked the fisherman, "What is holy?"
    In his eyes,
    it is the sea that drowns
    his ships.

    He asked the laborer, "What is holy?"
    In his eyes,
    it is the earth that burdens
    his body.

    He asked the soldier, "What is holy?"
    In his eyes
    it is the battle that destroys
    his home.

    He asked the priest, "What is holy?"
    In his eyes,
    it is the cross that bloodies
    his soul.

    He asked the child, "What is holy?"
    In his eyes,
    it is his father that treads
    his worth.

The ebbs and flows
of withered grass and moss green skies

Alone
I still hold your hand
watch seabirds fly
The pond searching between my toes

and i fly with them
Still holding your hand

It gropes, rapes,
torments with film
footage, triggers shots
framed through a magnoscope

in dark recesses, strangles
with bare words wrapped
around each breath, laughs
as it seizes control. Cold

steel flashes, bores
holes until it bursts
and splatters all over,
taints restlessness

with glimpses, fleeting
walks through dreams,
eluding slumber
in circadian pursuit.

In your footsteps, i'd lose
myself. we'd lead each
other to burn -- forgoing what
i can be.
                 As it is, we dissipate
in each other's space where time
is only an aspect. There, i fold so
many times, the origami of me crumples.

The well overflows
floods all things.

My reflection swirls
into the tunnel
swimming in a cul de sac
of wallow, like goldfish
in bowl slime.

Einstein stares at me
I see the blood wars and the blood feuds

The dripping white gold
catches into a tube

Lights are burning beyond December

                                                Beyond December

               I wait behind your curtain
               I wonder at the dark
               I make my cause
               I go the course

                        Tonight has made
                                                  a thousand lights
                                                                         flicker     in my mouth     catching
                                                        each drop
                              
                                                                        of scented hearths

                                                                        Burning ...
                                                                                            burning ...
                                                                                                                               into embers ....

no matter how
often i seek
it is you
who must allow
me to see

Flutter of an evening chill
the black rain, bores into me

Another diamond
engulfs me

Opaque
Tarnished
Branded

Announces
a failing
flickering candle
then smoke

The lower breeds
Lust
Consumes

We strive to be first
on land, run off into the end
of our discoveries, then jump.

I am an ascendant. Derived
from none. The wide spaces
between us bleeds

into open waters. Salt has scarred
the umbilicus and feeds
me no more. I breathe

the tides. They recall their dead
and wash them of sins. They
call to me to join them .

I've letters of a thousand
summers simmering under
a closet of dust and bones

Night fell with the dewdrops
when single blade grew
into a mighty sword

My lips tasted rust
as the sun rose
as they knew you

There is a line
between the fields
of right and wrong.
We walk, and meet, and
pass each other by.
Beyond the ends of
what we see, our paths
shall cross once more.

There is no way
to describe that tug
away,

no words to call
that pull
of two poles,

one that anchors
a grave and another
that catches light.

There are no silences
to fill the moments
gone

no way to revere
the deadened
foot trails

no choice to go
but where the heart
leads logic to stray.

Heart, 

you make me flutter, 

you make me scatter, 

then you make me tatter.

it makes little difference,

how gold filters the naked and clothed
distinctions. we create

imprints
crafted into more than skin and bone,

move side by side,
jump and fall

down, down, down,
and whittle away.

i mourn
as second skin crawls its way in.

outside, flowers bloom,
fruits rot.

birds, bees, flies, maggots
shed themselves of another day.

unopened letters keep pouring in,
they wait for answers.

pregnant clouds bear down
on migraine and gout.

i breathe
bread, bleach, blood, boredom.

given time,
wine and vinegar grow from the same tree,

and that makes me smile.

...fell down and shattered into a gadzillion pieces.

It was an accident.
It was fate.
It was moment of weakness.
It was meant to be.

It was a gadzillion pieces of
broken words,
unkept promises,
unspoken hopes.

It was a gadzillion
drops of tears,
gusts of emotions,
jigsawed thoughts.

All those pieces swept into the wind,
spread across sand and sea,
whispered under every breath
and buried... buried.

They unfold and twist,
collide and explode.
Pressurized and purified,
proven true, it

lands back to the very heart of where it started--
with You.

Left from center,
outside right,
fringes and gaunt.

The night was mine
alone just as everyone
in doubt and need.

Lingering inside
the day waits for no one
but the fortunate.

Ahead of me,
tentative fingers
seep through.

They tunnel between
dissolving ink,
dispersing the abysmal

trenches of waiting
tides....

We veered towards calle muerte. It is 
inevitable we come here. Before this, 
there was no us. All things was only
you. One year ago, you called me a
*****. One month later, i learned
about the affair, that i was the obstacle. 

Separation. It provokes anxiety 
and relief. For appearances, a
requirement of exchange needs
subterfuge. It won't help us
to seem greedy to others. I
will not relinquish what is
lawful.

Last week, you invited me,
say you will give stuff
due to me. Yet, not my 
pride? Let's not play
anymore. 

The drive back to my
place disquiets us.

I can be enchanted by how sunlight
through your windows filter brighter
around dirt. Everything out of
your open doors screams self-less "I!"
How the architecture astounds
and enlightens ignoramuses, balconies
bear shortcomings of the uninitiated.

I bought your portraits of
rising from the garbage
left you from those
who ******* you over.

How many people could praise you enough?

Ungrateful, to believe
your enemies and other frauds.
I dare doubt your methods?

The castle surrounded
by gas lamps and
gas lighters can not
burn down
so long as mirrors show
only the beauty of your
astounding heart

-shaped head.

You say and i heard -
the ease of this pain,
the taming of the winds.

Howling the unspoken,
never knowing the light of things

is easily dismissed.
An imagined feeling,
a dreamful wish and such fancies.

How many times have you visited
and left messages and crumbs?

Seeing the entirity
before it ended,
and your footprints lifting me
until i flew across the sky
this dead night in the daylight.

Every snake and folly trampled on
and the dirt roads travelled us far from each place,
led me back without you.

So i listen now,
the silent vows fulfill themselves

in time.

For sport
And other fineries


Where 2 seas meet
Devoid of ourselves


We stray into
A collision --


I lie naked
Bled


Chained and dangled
This burden embraces you


Prepare burial
Spirits severed, set forth

are not music
or poems
but the breadth
and depth

for the life
of me, they mingle
and linger
on a lonely rooftop

with rain
vibrating through
the wind.

ants crawl in the spaces
between our eyes
they float in vitriol
black on yellow skin
churning in our silence

she got hit by a bus
that fine day he took the car for a spin.
around the block to buy satè beef noodles
from the little store in the alleyway

that night, dama de noche spilled from the trellis
a fragrant moon covered the ground
petals tiptoed the pond
and little fish lips kissed them

I'd have drowned
not for air
but for tears
and salted knees

they glanced at us with iron
a bamboo stick drew blood from our backs
you left for a dream
and us in cold water

i still buy chips
coffee beans in bulk
i give them away
buy more

barefoot
soil worked its way in between my nails
it washes off in the streams
rocks no longer draw blood

the hot sun
the cold water
a clean breath
and me

it is always today
every other time never was

i am always here
far away from you

to dance / on uneven
footsteps of our
endeavors / black and white
photos / on others' walls /

our feast / doenjang guk
egg caramel custard
sinampalukang salmon
white wine / from
retail therapy and stress / devour /

i only drink / cheap wine
politicians
celebrities
criminals / i want
less of the more
they show /

i dance
while i wait / share
a mismatched meal with me

The pin point

ready to

implode


               I had my fill

               of pawprints on snow

               and cookie cutter dreams


Twine and hemp

left hanging by the big      bad       wolf

full of red

and dry meat


                                   Let sleeping dogs      sleep-

betray

                                   their post                and I

                                   shall walk               away

A wave of relief
A sigh
A kiss

A contented smile

I am grateful

*She chatted on an on of evidence of past indiscretions. Having said them again and again, made it easier to piece together the broken pieces of her life. Hearing it once more, felt normal.

There was a time life stopped. There's no real way to descibe it. A cool, clear stream rushing around your ankles, carrying away blood from severed veins, while all you can do is watch that fine, red line escape you.

I hated everything. I even hated hating.

Looking back at all of it, recalling the words, you remember the truth, not the smoke.

Maybe i can go to a better place. Somewhere not as polluted. God knows... more than i can say.

Blue and somber white, I ask that
you ponder in your waking dreams and solid songs to bare the fruits with these eyes
like children and horses and such.

Naked and trembling. You frighten me.
Words of a thousand suns are witness.
They cross out the years of servitude and grace.

Absolutions. They yearn
to survive until they crave mortality.

I am about to give way. To see you with fresh sight,
hear the voice of another betrayal. Thus far,
there is only One

I have never seen
I have never heard
I have never known.

Cruelty abates
itself, shuns itself.

We wait in silence and petulance,
longing for a day to last
a thousand days
and more.

4am isn't too early
for uber or grab
to take my money

24/7 Mcdonald's
an extra cup of coffee
sunlight creeps in

3 teens next to me jam
to South Border and
small talk

1season
too many reasons
pass by

Nano therapy.

Scares the hell outta me.

Smaller than virus, bigger than antibody,

a little chip squeezes in RBC.

It's suppose to

gather

identify

target

cure

change.


A brain's being transferred bodies.

AI talks on their own.

Kids' brains are screentime putty.


Who needs China, Korea, ISIS,

global warming and political doofuses.

We're ripe from our own advanced illnesses.

i watch those shows
you mentioned. the ones
about writers and the
lovers of writers.
i sit naked. typing.
the day wears on me, humid

like you. you are

no lover of writers -- poets, even less.
i sit naked, typing because
of you. ******* you
from me. i no longer write
to you. you are no lover
of writers nor poets. i am
unseen. i make do and make it
worthwhile. i am naked. you
are not. it is better this way.
you will pass naked, too
someday.

.               they said
.                               so
.                                   it was let
.                                                   alone
.                                                            in the dark
.                                                           ­                     side
.                                                                ­                       by side with me.

i look for you under the walls
the silent facebook smiles

plastered on top of my bare skin
are wires counting down... ten... nine...

i think of your smile... eight... seven...
crookedly endearing... six... five... makes me come... four... three...

back to where... two... hide-and-seek... one...
is a game i shouldn't play.

.                   I thought it was
                           CRAZY

                        the noun
                  not the adjective

      that led to my ultimate demise.

                       No, wait.

               I thought  i (t)  was
                    CRAZY         .

                   the adjective

    (t)  hat led to my ultimate demise
    T^



​

Those stolen
glimpses you send
my way ******
permanent slime on skin,
suffocating, paralyzing

into a stiff-person
walk, viscera curdling,
beats slowing
and bones twisting.
I stop

far away, and stay
in a between. I lose
my thoughts and watch
strangers' eyes pry off my skin
until I emerge.

i've never been without you, neither
have i felt any real need for you.
you were someone that was there,
you made living (dying?) more comfortable.


then, there was the time that i wanted you. so much
to have you, prove i could have you,
say you're not a big deal. that was the time
i was so angry for not having you,
not being able to get you, not being able to prove
what you are or are not.


i hated you. what it meant not having you.

i can still taste that hatred sometimes.
it tastes like fat. like oil.
deep fried
satisfying
it hits my stomach
absorbs into the intestines
inches its way to those places
separating organs from each other
then seeps to that fine fine space
just under the skin

it sits there, i can't get rid of it
but i want more
that slick, slimey feel on my lips
taste buds tingling for release
until i'm not sure who's devouring what.



i haven't a stitch of you left with me now
im a liar and a thief
and even i being me
wouldn't trust myself if i were someone else.
why should you



a strange thing
to be free with nothing
not even a calculated expectation

outside
everyone despises that

but the taste of it
is like sweet water.

I fumbled in the night
through the kitchen

thought about
Them

They still don't get it
Each call is an eyeroll

Swimming swimming
through the kitchen
floor, cluttered with receipts,
shoes, a rug.

They whisper a return
a neverland
a never there

when the precipice met
the abyss, they
f
   e
      l
         l
and tunneled into each other.


            losing my religion
            is my creed
            saying nothing out loud
            trying not to try.

i pretend
                    to want
                to have
            to be

i pretend, i pretend.

to tend --
to give attention to
to care for
to wait on

pre -- \before\


                        that is me.

En Soul-ment and tone
Will never fade away
The undulating skies and fervent seas
The bowels of grass and ****
The mighty winds
Careless tangles of swarms and open bridges and catfish and crayfish and
The reverberations of sounds and laughter
Sonorous and somnolent and alabaster
Mounds its way through the desert storms and wingless chills
Panafery conglomerates itself
Call me
It calls me
And extolls itself
Exaults itself
Highly highly praise and praises be

is the moment
I breathed in
and tasted
nothing,
heard the echoes
of limbo
where silent
heartbeats filled in
what time cannot

This interlude of comfort
carries mountains.

I imagine death is a beginning
     OR anonymity a release

Food and ***
             is all we ever really talk about
money is
                 a quiet thing.

The roaches hide behind the closet.
Cleaning their home
                                 dirties ours even more.

We won't miss these secrets.

you see through me
the way shadows are cast
on the ocean floor

slit between
open mantles
i seep unto you

I do not see
beyond the might,
yet perceive
more than ought.
The craving of
a learned tale,
ability to carve out
an excuse to crave.

Hail to the conquerors!
Teller of greatness,
earner of sympathy,
foreteller of justice,
bearer of magnanimity.
We survive you.

Hail to the losers!
The day waits for you,
the night delights, passing
thoughts escape into
imagining immaterial
basis of deeds.

Soon, the distance between
falls near and
neither escapes surety.

.                      



                       Love, I write
                       you down,
                       send you flying across continents.                    
                  
                           It's a grey-sky dawn.
                           Kowloon bay calls me,      
                           the warmth of an imperfect city.






.

I made it somehow
through the tempest

of you. Now
the voices have gone

and the heart doesn't
look any further

than what is here. I
know, right? I can

smile at losing
live with nothing
believe in myself
and best of all

just     BE.

in your womb
the silent
indistinct chatter
and a slow pounding

there are no choices        here        it's
a stifling
pool of ****, saliva, and sweat, dying
to come out

my hands are tied
like my neck
growing while you feed
me. more and more tightly it grows.

now, the air is gone
and the water is fine
the blood red moon
is a clear blue sky

i can hold my breath
and breathe
under water
outside the tomb

The little pieces
reverberating

carries more than a share.


I knew nothing
until I knew

the terminal part of you.


        She continues dreaming
     in stage 4 of REM. The acquisition
        of all known things
    is built on fragility.

             Harsh realities stay as nothing
             and memories are all we have.


             He sips an empty cup
     m m m... pretends it's wine.

        He looks at her that way.
        

   How mighty fine we are
   to see the fullness of things.