There's nothing like the impending new year
Than to make you realize
How far you've come
Forward or backward
Or perhaps you didn't move at all,
Stuck on square one.

I always thought we stayed in one place
A few steps closer
Until a sudden pang,
Sent us flying back
All the way to square one;
I've realized I was wrong.

Square one was just a single step back
To refocus,
We've grown so close,
Only like a spiral,
Circling further and further in,
All to one center.

Reflecting now, we are truly the same
For we do not attack straight on,
Like a line;
Instead, we are cautious,
Handling what's precious
In careful hands.

What feels like square one and a step
Is more like an ocean we've crossed;
Patience is the key to a treasure chest
And maybe, we just hit land;
Now it's time to pace (ourselves)
And follow the maps drawn on our hearts.

Each and every single one of your smiles--
The smooth ones, the crooked ones,
The funny ones you make before you laugh--
Oh, especially those--
Or the ones you make when you're tired
And the ones that show your teeth,
Along with, of course, the ones you give
When you respond to the smiles I make--
Yes, all of these smiles
Light up my darkest nights
With beautiful shimmering stars.

Not to mention, when that smile turns into a kiss?
Well then, those smiles transform into the Northern Lights;
You are a galaxy much sweeter than the Milky Way.

You are the fall while I am spring--
You bask in the hot summer air
While I relish in my winter;
We fight about which is better,
Neither one willing to concede;
Yet I am the start to your warmth
As you send the first chills through me--
You admit it is romantic
And I confess it is freeing.
We are a little bit of both,
So hot and cold and in between,
Yet you are a little more of what I want
And I am a little more of what you need.

I'm not quite sure if I'm drowning
In my own drunken state
Or in these emotions that I'm bleeding out
Simply because you're not here with me.
I'm not quite sure if I love you
Because I just can't have you
Or if I love you, in all honesty,
Because there is no one as **** beautiful as you.
I think it is the latter for
The way your soul shines from your eyes
And speaks from that shy smile,
There is nothing that can compete with you.
However, if it were the first,
Why is it that I may never have you?
It's just the way of the universe,
The way the Earth loves its Sun
Or how the moon loves its Earth,
Always around but never to touch.
I'm not sure how I can continue to hold it in
Or how I have for so long,
But even less do I know how to express this
For I'm not sure if you feel the same
Or like me at all
Or if you feel the same way and we're
Running in circles, after another,
Coughing up each other's dust.
I'm not sure why I feel like crying
When all I did was see you in the distance
And hear your name come from the mouths
Of people we both know, but do not know of us.
I'm not sure what us even is,
If I even have a right to use that word for us,
Us,
It sounds so alien
And as I say it, I question its existence.
I'm not sure of anything anymore,
Except that now the tears are brimming
And I replaced this liquor with some coffee
As I wait the night out,
Hoping for closure I must accept I'll never have.
I suppose I am most unsure of
How someone can fall in love with another
So effortlessly, like breathing,
But drown in their own tears
As that love is really poison:
Sweet, sweet poison
Settling deep down in my lungs.

i tried to write a poem
i've been trying for a while
to write the ways in which you always
seem to make me smile

i've tried to tell our stories
through the medium of rhyme
but every time i start to type
the words fall out of time

it's always been so simple
i can write when i feel wrong
but it all seems so unnatural
now i feel like i belong

i don't think i can do it
'cause i don't know where to start
so if i see you in my poems
it will mean you broke my heart.