Close your eyes, b r e a t h e, make a wish, and blow--
release the seeds of your dreams and let them g r o w
wild, like weeds... unappreciated by those who
don't understand them but resilient and persistent
for those who know how to handle them.

You ask me to prove the love I feel.
I cannot prove to you the love I feel
If you do not feel it on your own.
I can show you lust through kisses and soft touch,
As I can show attention through remembering little things.
I can show care through holding your hand as you heal and
Support as I wipe your slippery tears from your marble cheeks.
I can show many things that are mistaken as love
But that does not guarantee the everlasting sentiment,
The one that is given in its true definition, at least in my opinion.
Especially since it is my love you ask for,
I simply cannot prove to you the love I feel
For if there was real connection, the message would get through
Since the network of my love is connected like our souls,
Through invisible heart strings from the heart of our love
That relays the affection, an impact that cannot be missed.
If it was there, you couldn’t miss it.
So now I ask, is my love coming through?

All I am is a number
On a computer screen,
Three point seven nine,
Slowly going down
And all you are
Is a can of cheap beer
That you chug, chug, chug
Just to break my heart,
It seems.
You think I’m a criminal
But I said no to the cigarette,
I said no to the drugs,
I said no to the shady crowd
And I hang on to a boy
Who treats me like you treat me
Sweet when I behave
But never going out of his way
Since I’m not worth it
And I treat him
The way I treat you
With hopeful, bright eyes
Lying to myself
Maybe tomorrow
He’ll love me.

Your laugh filled the void in the room,
The sweetest sound to bless my ears
And I remember that shy smile;
You were so happy, those few years.

Oh yes, and when you got angry,
Which we all know you did plenty
You were Medusa- looks could ****;
Your passion never did empty.

You were always so proud of me
But always kept pushing further,
As though you knew things we didn't
And I thank you for that each day...

Each day, I live without you now;
Each day, I think of you somehow;
I hope that if you can see me here
You'd be proud like you said you'd be.

I miss you.

You can't have what you want
For you want it too much;
Your obsession destroys
Everything that you touch.

It's like you squeeze so tight
Until he cannot breathe;
Then he must run or die,
As you refuse relief.

It is blatant nature;
Obvious as you go
Bathe in your ignorance
And put on the same show.

The tears,  "I don't know why"
But we tell you each time:
You must love at distance,
Tone down your persistence
And love him enough so
He will not want to go.

Love is tender, love is kind;
Love is splendid and divine;
Love is raw yet very sweet
Save it’s with a dead beat.

You’re not from fairytales—
No, you set your own sails.
While I work to pay the bills,
That is just how cupid kills.

I’m madly in love, I swear
Caught up in this love affair—
I don’t care if it’s no good for me
Just one will make it work, you’ll see.

You make my heart go crazy,
So who cares if you’re lazy?
We’ll prove the world wrong, I bet;
On that I have my heart set.

Love is hopeless, love is blind;
Love makes victims lose their mind;
Love wins, to one’s defeat
When it’s with a dead beat.

You are my shelter;  
Your arms protect me
And your voice comforts;
You are my safety.

Your compassion is
Endless, yet so full
As your heart is strong,
And so beautiful.

Everything good ends;
It is simple fact.
I'll cherish this time
We have us intact.

Another fact that is true:
I could never forget you.

You drop your promises like a porcelain cup;
Drink from it but you don't want to clean your mess up;
Well my heart was antique; an heirloom that's shattered;
Its pieces lie at your feet; not like that mattered.

Now that I'm broken, I'll always showcase the lines
That make up my scars; they'll decrease a hundred times
My value, to find a good home because I'm chipped;
And who on Earth would press those splinters to their lips?

You asked me to give you space,
   I told you yes, I'm sorry, I love you.
You asked me to stop reminding you,
   I told you yes, I'm sorry, I love you.
You asked me to give you privacy,
   I told you yes, I'm sorry, I love you.
You asked me to always be positive,
   I told you yes, I'm sorry, I love you.
I asked you to show me affection,
   You told me you're not that kind of man.

I told you I did it for us,
I told you I have anxiety,
I told you I have depression,
I told you I love you more than anything.

You told me I did it to myself.
You told me I make things up,
You told me to stop bringing you down,
You told me I make you hate your life.

I told you yes, I'm sorry, I love you.
   Please don't leave me.

You stayed.

I'm scared to ask why?

My days are like never ending dreams;
I'm glad to say I'm happy to be
Alive; in such a daze, I walk in
As I watch Hell's fiery tongue
Retrieve, as my blessings sink in deep
And all my devastation resolves;
In this hectic mess, such happy ends
Must be a hoax; how can someone so
Unlucky have so many miracles?
It must be a dream: please, don't wake up.

Education, they say
Sets free the mind
Only it has, ironically
Imprisoned mine.
I have lost my heart
Somewhere on this path,
Leaving my mind
Alone, in wrath
As it struggles to
One day forgive itself,
Then comes to dwindle
Through grief; it wilts.

Don't you be ashamed
Of your heart of gold;
If they don't catch it,
It'll break their toes!

Why is it that the one who loves you most
Is always the one who can hurt you best?
You heal me like no other, yet inflict wounds
So deep, they don’t compare to the rest.
Your electric touch shocks me back to life
While your magnetic kiss draws me in.
The power rushes through my blood;
I’m an addict to your sweet medicine.
In exchange for my forgiveness, come
On and take me over, for I surrender
To my desire; I need your love more than
I care to have shared you once with her.

I suppose I might have hoped
That we would bloom from nothing
Like a phoenix does from ash;
Wild imagination
Might be to blame, or perhaps
A heart- a flaming heart, filled
Of dreams that you encompass;
False memories of laughter,
Embraces, adventure, love...
I hoped for what I believed
But like a phoenix, such thought
Could only be true in dreams;
There is not much magic left
In the dimming eyes of Earth,
But if any is to spare,
Spare me the pain of letting
*Go.

You always called me your Queen
And said you would be my King
But in the end, I was just the Joker;
I suppose that makes you the Jack-***,
So please kiss my Ace goodbye.

I am a butterfly nest
That holds caterpillars of dreams
And cocoons of potential.

They'll all grow to
Beautiful butterflies
Someday, one day.

Some butterflies are gentle
They all are colorful
And others have glass shards as wings.

He was everything he was not,
He was strong and brave and cunning,
Every move was calculated
Ten steps ahead,  sometimes twenty
And he had her in his hands,
The heart he wanted but couldn't,
And he clenched his fist tight and squeezed
The life out of it,  then tossed it.
He found it, broken and hurting
And he wanted it just the same.
She said "You break it, you bought it",
She still would not have him with her
And he could never understand
How stupid love never worked out
And how he never wanted her,
And she never wanted him, but
It was, in theory, romantic;
The world can work in twisted ways.

Can we just cut to the chase?
For I already like you,
And you have my heart gripped tight,
And you’re only going
To crumble it in your fists,
And the heartbreaks are better
With less memories to sting,
Like lemon juice in a wound,
Only much worse- much, much worse.

Back and forth
And back again,
In and out you go;
There you were,
Now here you are,
No place too close
Nowhere too far,
An endless loop
Of your indecision
Leaves me dizzy
From all this spinning.

I feel so much and I try too hard
But none of that impacts you at all.
I give you everything you ask
And everything more that I can.
You always take it for granted
Where your genuine thanks is rare
And then the heart I give to mend
Your own is just given away
To the people who destroyed yours.

You’re the kindest to everyone
But me, who is kindest to you.
I’m better off done.

In ten years, I believe my life will be great.

And every day that passes, I add on to it,
Memories swirling through my head.

Dreams of mine are sweet and simple
Elegant, in their own exquisite way
And I treasure them dearly
Dreaming of beautiful times to come.

In ten years from now, I'll be in love;
Not with just anyone, but he will be my
S o u l m a t e
In every shape and form; he'll protect me.
Dreams do come true; I'll prove it.
Everything will be okay, ten years from now.

most people read from left to right, not up and down.
read me from left to right, you'll understand what I really say;
read me up and down, you'll understand what I actually mean.
people are deeper than they are given credit for.
remember that.

My eyes yearn for your face, just as
My ears long heavily your voice;
My mind craves your essence dearly,
Tormented through this lack of choice;
Why is courage not passionate
Like desire entangled by
Anxiety that erupts in
Every cell--just answer, why?
Cruel fate has imprisoned me,
Bound within joyous misery.

The sorrow that once consumed me
Is hauntingly beautiful now
And some how, sometimes I'm entranced
To relive it, for it was raw,
The purest emotion I'd felt,  
And in this heartless world we live
It was something innocently
Tragic with some meaning to it.

My mind is light as a feather,
Swayed by a gentle breeze
But my heart is so heavy,
It makes it hard to breathe.

From thoughts to heartstrings,
One soars while the other sinks.

Each and every single one of your smiles--
The smooth ones, the crooked ones,
The funny ones you make before you laugh--
Oh, especially those--
Or the ones you make when you're tired
And the ones that show your teeth,
Along with, of course, the ones you give
When you respond to the smiles I make--
Yes, all of these smiles
Light up my darkest nights
With beautiful shimmering stars.

Not to mention, when that smile turns into a kiss?
Well then, those smiles transform into the Northern Lights;
You are a galaxy much sweeter than the Milky Way.

You are too young to die, they say
But now my friend is there dying
And here I am, healthy, alive
And I know they have been lying
For she is just my age, "too young"
With an ovarian cancer.
Her wedding and graduation
All in May-why?-give me answers!
Is this now some sick joke to life?
Where we all dream of full futures
And then when our dreams are brimming
Some win, the rest see raw torture?
It is a twisted circus act
Where the parents tell their babies
They will one day find love and age,
When that promise is a maybe?
We trust our mothers and fathers
To tell us the ways of the world
But here I am, too young to die--
Then there's my friend, a dying girl.

And I bleed red
And I cry clear
As I feel warmth
And all my fear.
I watch my life
Go disappear.
And I feel loss
When you're not here.

But I know now
I'm not alone...

We all bleed red.
We all cry clear.
And we're all warm
Away from fear.
We watch our lives
Go disappear
And we feel loss
While we stay here.

We're only human.

You are such a stalker--
Or at least your ghost is;
It keeps following me
Closer than my shadow.
I feel your breath on me.
I hear it in my ears,
I just can't see it now
Since you're right behind me.

Some people would be scared,
Others at least anxious
But you'd never hurt me;
You didn't when you could.

At night in the dark halls
I swear I see a hint,
A sliver of you, quick,
As I change direction.
My memory is clear
As it haunts my present
And perhaps I see you--
Your ghost, to cope with the
Loss.

You were curious--
I opened doors so you could see.
You were scared--
I fought so much to rid your fears.
You were upset--
I gave my best to make you smile.

You changed your mind--
I lied, I bore the pain, I said it was okay.

I was patient,
I was kind,
I was humble,
So what did I do wrong?

Envy, like ivy, itches
But its rash is green, not red
And the victims affected
Are those who caused it instead.
Jealousy, like fire, burns
But its blaze is cold, not hot
And the flames spread
Inward in the heart it caught.
Resentment, spite
And bitter greed are bred
Within the veins of the
Jade blood that’s bled.
The ice cold heart plays
Tricks on its clueless host.
Jaded is the one who
Started off caring most.
No one likes a needy fool—
It’s envy’s tragic curse.
A loving angel shall be
Turned into their very worst.

Isn’t it funny how things change?
The monster I am today,
Was once the loving friend
You simply turned away.
I admit I am no saint, but I was
No sinner to you, ever.
I just couldn’t stand it when
You thought you found better.
How was I to know you
Couldn’t see that I was hurt?
I hope even now you’ll think
Back on how I at least came first.
I’m not sorry, and I don’t think
I ever could be
For you closed your eyes
And let envy take me.
The monster I am today,
Look into my eyes,
You created this person
You so fervently despise.

In my mind
It's pouring rain
And my conscience is
This young yet worn out man
Who stands there, idly getting drenched
And as he ponders the irony of this cruel world,
He turns mad and is overcome by a crazy fit of laughter.

This "crazy" man finally came to the biggest question:
What's the meaning of it all?
He realized the answer pretty quick:
Nothing at effing all.
Yet here he is, in his empty vessel
That I call "me"
And all that's left to do in this storm
Is for him to stand there, being pelted by rain,
Letting his head fall back and laughing loud with the thunder.

Perhaps your duty in my life
Was to serve as a stepping stone
Between the love I leave behind
And the one that has yet to grow.
Perhaps you were meant to tempt me
From this oncoming disaster
But push me far enough away
Into the arms of my soul mate.
Maybe I should be thanking you
For this disappointment I feel
But I know that in the moment
I just wish I was in your arms.

My heart is like an old butterfly net
That has a gaping hole torn into it;
What it catches flutters at its leisure
And leaves surely with time, or with the wind,
Leaving my heart empty and I'm sorry
That I cannot keep the bubbly-ness here.
I've been broken; I try but I'm a fool,
Holding on to something I've never held.

You make me glad,
He makes me smile.
You make me laugh
And so does he.
You keep me safe,
I feel secure.
And what he says
Makes me bubble.
For I'm with you
But not with him,
I feel happy
As I do sad.
I am split in
Two even halves;
If only I
Could give you each
A piece of me
But faithfully.

Never trust a photograph;
That smile is nothing but posed;
Those eyes hide much pain and tears;
One cannot see behind closed
Doors and for the many years
Of life beyond that sly face
Is the soul that fell from grace.

Ruined, wrecked, broken, destroyed
Is the mind with which you toyed.
Empty, stone-cold, dead, flat-lined
Is the heart to which you lied.

"Not, it's fine," sorry will do;
I just hope next up is you.

I find no comfort in simple words,
I’ve heard too many lies for that.
Even actions I always question
For ulterior motives always act.
Say you love me, let me feel it;
It’s a challenge, I understand.
But let me know I’m worth it
For real love should withstand
All obstacles—wipe my tears,
Heal my pain, make me whole
When I’m incomplete—yet
With you, my hungry soul
Is empty, parched, in need
Of something genuine at last.
Please, I can’t help but believe
Our future’s in my past.
I fear we may have turned,
In our hesitation, obsolete,
What will it take for you
To feed me something concrete?

You say I'm lovely, baby; my soul's so free
Yet you imprison me like an animal
Behind bars for being so mesmerizing;
What a sin; you keep me put to watch and revel.

You say I'm strong, baby, but I'm only glass;
Maybe not a mirror but a stained window
So spectacular, as my light trickles out;
Your own Northern Lights; I am breakable, though.

Funny thing about living art is: it dies.
Sad thing about trusting love is: people lie.
Honest thing about heart is: it's in the mind.
Fables about romance: feelings can be kind.

I cried,
I wept;
My heart
You kept.

Yet still
You left
Without
Regret.