May I take sandpaper
And use the rough edges
To scrape away
Each memory and thought
Till only lessons remain
From time spent with you

l.v.s

I got dragged for a mile
By the loss of both
A partner and a flat mate
And the financial issues
Which are just part
Of the left behind baggage

Luckily,
A girl copied the meow
Of my brother's cat Kitty
This made me smile
It only lasted a while
But it made me feel
Just a little bit giddy

l.v.s

They say,
"Curiosity killed the cat"

I prefer to think:
It's the demand for fact
Which deprived the cat

l.v.s

You can look forward
To the future
Just remember to
Place 'IF' in front
Of each thought/idea.

I prefer it that way.
Not just to avoid
Disappointment or pain
If things don't work
It also keeps us
On our toes.

We're aware that
Nothing's guaranteed
So we place more energy
Into appreciating the present.

Nor do we become
Too comfortable
Or lazy.

We continue working hard
To keep relationships
And moments the
Best they can possibly be
Because we know
It could be taken away
In an instant.

Focusing on the future
Can make us accept
A present we're
Not Satisfied with
Because it'll get "better"
In the future.
Which is a load of ****!

Focus on now,
Make now everything
It can possibly be
And you'll stop
Latching onto the future.

l.v.s

It is not true,
don't believe it.

Your brain is being a *******,
put it in its place.

It's there to serve you,
not the other way around.

l.v.s

We all have different selves,
some of which we're yet to meet.

l.v.s

Love can be beautiful,
Yes, it can.

But love's also a drug,
And just like any addiction
It can cause more harm than good
Depending on the dosage
and the environment in which it's taken.

Some drugs give you a buzz when you're with friends,
Others leave you in the gutter all alone.
It depends on the strength,
The dosage
And who you're with.

Love can be beautiful
But it can also get out of control.

You always learn a lesson from it, don't you?
Love alone is harmless and magical,
Don't get me wrong.
But you also have to think of the situation...

l.v.s

Share a moment with me
Sit and take my hand in yours

You needn't say a word
Or utter a sound

Share your soul with me
Show me what our minds
Couldn't comprehend.

l.v.s

You must not -ever- forget,
Spring is just around the corner.


With Spring comes
Warmth,
Rain
And young rose buds.
Who open their shells
To bask beneath sunlight
And display their bright colours.


They are far from foolish.
When blistering wind and frost
Swallow the land,
They nestle their delicate petals
Within their shells
Placing trust
In their thorns
For protection.


But, come Spring;
They will flourish once again.
Having become far more vibrant,
Their fragrance sweeter
With magnified youth.


This youth I speak of,
Has no relation to age.
For these rose buds have been
Battered,
Bruised and
Scarred.
Age is not important.
This youth
Is seen in each newly gained
Spark of hope,
Shimmer of love
And strength
Received while buried beneath snow.


Tales are still told:
They have become the word of legend
During bitter winters.
No, my dear,
These tales aren't expressed through words.
They drift from the shriveled lips
Of the Wise Oak,
Who has been stripped bare
During Autumn,
As he whispers encouragement
To new generations of
Rose buds.
For he,
Witnessed the legendary roses
Battle then thrive,
Battle then thrive...
Year after year.
And he hopes
The tales
Will help these frightened
Rose buds survive.


Lets hope,
They won't forget:
Spring is just around the corner.

l.v.s

He sculpted himself
Into my "perfect person"
And I loved it

Till I realized
It was an act

And I was nothing
But a toy
To play with.

l.v.s

It's far less vulnerable
To show a pale scar

Than it is to expose
To another
Your bloodied self

l.v.s

Through poetry
I've come to find
Expression
And communication

He allows me to be
Vulnerable yet safe

Poetry promised to
Never leave my side
He's the only
Heart aching lover
That's kept his word.

l.v.s

Don't reach for me
With your
Quicksand hands

That is to say,
I look at you
And I can see
My time
Slipping away

You'll take
From me
Till there's
No grain
Left

Till I've
No place
To land
But the
Floor.

l.v.s

I could write a whole list of loves
But why would I
If you won't read it?

l.v.s

Some people slip,
When their clay gets out of shape
They accept what they're given
And set it in stone.

But you keep improving;
More water,
A faster or slower pace,
Viewing from different perspectives... etc.

You know there's a possibility
You refuse to give up
And be stuck the same way forever.

l.v.s

There's nothing wrong
With focusing
On other things.

In fact,
It's a good thing.

I don't want
To become your life,
I want
To be a part of it.

I love talking to you
but do what needs
to be done first
and don't be afraid
to do other things you enjoy.

I wouldn't want
To feel like
A prison sentence.

l.v.s

Maybe, you're afraid to love?
You say:
"Nothing good can ever come of it.
When the veil is removed,
All you're left with
Is an insatiable feeling of hunger.
Hunger
For warmth and their touch
Hunger
To see, just once more,
The care and desire in their eyes
When they gaze past your walls
To the soul within.
A growing
Relentless hunger
To feel
Wanted."

l.v.s

Darling, don't let him affect you.
Don't let him do that.

If you saw dirt on your shoe
You wouldn't
Spend the whole day
Staring at it.
You'd get a cloth,
Wipe it off and
Throw it away.

Throw
              Him
                        Away.

l.v.s

Cupped in my hands
I place her on the sand
A girl I'd carried
For so long

So long
Had I ignored her

So long
Had I put others first

So long
She screamed
She sobbed
Needing to be heard

It's been
Too long

Since I've listened
To myself.

l.v.s

Love is a lot of things
It's your devotion to someone,
It's putting them before yourself
You couldn't bear
To see them hurt
Witnessing the smile spread
Across their face,
Knowing they're safe
And happy
Is enough.

Love isn't ***
Or physical contact.
You may want that,
But it's not important.

Love isn't just feeling good
Whenever they cross your mind
Or you're in their presence.

Love is taking away all;
The joy,
The intimacy,
The romance,
The kind words
And the light.
That is replaced;
Clutching blankets,
Hidden,
Violent shakes
Tear waterfalls...

Though things might not seem perfect
You still want,
You still care,
You still need.
You want them in your life
Even though it hurts,
Even if your throat is raw,
Your eyes burn.

You don't want to let go,
You can't.
Small voice whispers
"Remember the good,
Forget the bad,
Have hope."
Meanwhile,
Doubt shreds the heart.

You know it's love;
Everything hurts
But,
Thoughts
And memories,
Resurface smiles.

Pain of turning away
Maybe it's a rough patch,
Maybe things will get better,
Maybe...
It might hurt
It might shine
In the end,
Is it worth it?
Of course,
Love's worth the risk.

l.v.s

You said I may as well
Be in jail
Because I spend
So long in my room.

I didn't go outside today
You said at least
Prisoners go outside
For fresh air once
A day.

Well sure,
I'll be a prisoner,
If you'd like.
I practically am.

This house is a prison
I'm monitored
Asked to work
Do this
Do that
If the things I do
Are "nothing" to you
Or not up to your standard
Of being worthy
Then I'm punished.

My room is my cell
It's my space
I've personalized it
I've made it mine
It feels safe
It's my choice
To spend time here.

But you still barge in
Even when the door's closed
You still demand things
You judge how I've made it
The way things look
The state its in
My own touches.
You prove it's not mine
By violating it.

Sure,
I could go outside.
But that's only
A larger
More diverse prison
Where I'm judged further
By the guards of society
I have to be alert
So I'm not abused
Or harassed
By fellow inmates.

Thanks for the metaphor,
Mother
But it doesn't matter.

I'm content
Being confined
In my cell.

l.v.s

If you
Look at these
Handfuls of
What I have
To give
But your own
Palms are empty
Please, don't

If I'm willing
To give myself
Entirely to you
But you'll only
Take what
You can get
Please, don't

I want to save
My enegry
For better things
Please, be honest.

l.v.s

You say if I had just told you,
None of this would have happened

When your anger weighs down the room
There's no space for my words

All that escapes is a silent scream
But you don't hear me

Not even for a second
Do you cast your gaze in my direction.

l.v.s

Frantically tug
Deconstruct
The tracks
Prevent progress
Of the most
Volatile transport.

l.v.s

Let's take this slow
We've got no where to go

I feel like I belong
With you by my side
We can go far and wide.

No distance too great,
and we're never late.
Always at the right moment,
almost as if it were fate.

l.v.s and IM

Reach outward toward me
Let the wind take your hand
Twirl through our story

Lay breathless beneath
A blanket of stars
The possibilities will
Keep you warm.

l.v.s

I'd follow his footsteps with dread
No matter where they lead

I took my own path instead
To get out of my head

The man he once was
To me, now is dead.

l.v.s

This life has lead me to believe
Not everyone is going to stay
That I have to be ready
For when they leave

Take what people say
With a grain of salt
Because blind belief
And vulnerability
Could lead to assault

Prepare myself for all outcomes
Especially the unsavory kind
Maybe that's why I lost
My sweet tooth
Because I'm often
Left with a bitter taste

You've reawakened
My curiosity and innocence
When it comes to connection

Making up a bed of warm blankets
Soft words and support
You give me somewhere to lay down

I think this is a safe place
To stay.

l.v.s

Say the word and I'll put away
the machine gun.

l.v.s

I hope we keep growing;
As individuals
In our lives
And, hopefully,
Together.

l.v.s

You have always
Been a ray of sunshine

While they were
A frosty blizzard
At least once.

l.v.s

I can not help
That words flood out
Of me and splash
Onto others
Leaving behind
Tears of happiness

It comes naturally
To me

l.v.s

Free me, from this loneliness
sitting here in the dark
with nothing but emptiness in my heart
I ask myself, where have you gone?

Free me, for I am afraid
Perhaps you don't want to stay?
I require urgent aid
I'm locked in this cage

Free me, I am smothered in sorrow
Life is currently one huge obstacle  
I tell myself there's always tomorrow
You're bound to come back
Like a hound with a bone,
You can't resist

It's not that they
Can't accept you;

They want you
To fit in a box
That suits their
Little lives
And their
Minuscule minds.

l.v.s

A teeny tiny poem
Made me realize
That old sunsets
Don't matter too much,

It's how
You move forward
And allow yourself
To recover
That is
The most
Important

l.v.s

If you find yourself
Somewhere that is
Harmful or dull
There's no problem
With pulling yourself
Away.

l.v.s

Trapped under
A thin
Black spider

A bird
Carried it away
Far out of sight

Only to return
And hold me in
The warmth
Between
Its wing and breast

l.v.s

Dancing through the fog
The red specks
Hunt desperately
For anything
To set ablaze.

Will these fragile embers
Produce warmth
And comforting light?
Or will their search
Be in vain?

They'll either feed their hunger
Or slowly burn out
And take all hope
Of these unfortunate souls
Making it through the night.

l.v.s

It's like my heart has shut itself down
And barred all the doors
Because it's given too much

l.v.s

Bitter waves lap at my feet
Whilst the tempest tugs at my hair
Pleading me to step forward

Leading me into the depths
That hold me captive
Left to scratch my way out
My last attempt at anything
Why didn't I expect to fail?

Finally, you come to see
How I am coping
But silence is your only reply.

You're too late.

l.v.s

Cleaning out my closet
I found what I needed
To sew my life
Back
Together.

l.v.s

I'll wait for my time
Till you want to be mine

Left untouched
I fall from the vine

Left to decay
Nourishing the soil

For someone
More to your taste.

l.v.s

We're all aware
That we shouldn't
Hold anyone captive

But people choose to
For their personal gain
I won't be one of them

At times,
I wish I was

To have security
In the knowledge
That you can't leave

But you're not
Planning to go
Nor am I

You're my person
And I'm yours.

l.v.s

Getting through each day
With my watered-down hope

Watching as it falls into pieces
Then trying to reassemble it

But I can't seem to escape
The damp phase

So I continue
This paper mache.

l.v.s

Such a delicate
Man you are

Sobbing at the sight
Of scuffed skin

As if you've never
Seen blood before

As if we weren't
Born within it

As if women haven't
Bled for thousands of years

A woman's blood
Is bountiful

A man's blood
Is brutal

But you're the one complaining?

l.v.s

This isn't a poem but I just had a thought, there's a few people out there that read my stuff and I've had some pretty intense conversations with people on poetry websites. I always see these places as a sanctuary where I can express myself openly, pour out my heart and soul for people to see. Normally I filter which things I show certain people but you guys are mostly all in the same boat. We open ourselves up and try to make things, including our pain, look as beautiful and delicate as we possibly can. It's an art that's extremely close to home for most of us. I'm glad these communities have been made because when I do message poets there's no small talk or *******. It jumps straight to the point and we share even deeper parts of ourselves and our experiences because this is a place where we've already taken off the masks and shared ourselves with others. It's spectacular, there's not many other places where you can be so comfortably yourself with others, because here you just need to take a moment to look at their work and see if they're in the same boat. It's a shortcut of sorts to the person's soul.

This ended up being much longer than I'd anticipated but it's something that I always hold close to my heart. I came on here to say that I hope everyone's doing okay and trying their best to find even the smallest ray of light each day, especially if they're having a hard time. You're all super brave for expressing yourselves on here, or if you're just doing it to be creative good on you too because you don't know how many people might connect with your words. Keep doing what you're doing and be kind to yourselves as well as other people.

Just a little message for you guys,
Leila :)

Hush
Just for a moment
Quiet your mind

Pay attention
To other people
Please
Please
Please
Just listen

Otherwise, you might not
Hear the other person

l.v.s

One, two, three, four
I want to see you more

Five, six, seven, eight
Wouldn't that be great?

Nine, ten
I hope this never ends.

Though sometimes I may lose count,
There will never be a shred of doubt,
That what we have is something so different.
And it's just so appealing.

l.v.s and IM

When you show
Your true self,
Silence will be
Your only reply.

l.v.s

I might sing off tune
I might stumble on words
I might forget lyrics

I'm trying
My best

It's touching
That you're
Still listening
To me.

l.v.s