Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
2.7k · Dec 2016
Instrumental (explicit)
Leila The Kiwi Dec 2016
Slack cords tighten
As fingers curl
Each stroke
Producing another pitch

My personal instrument
Controlled by me alone

2.5k · Jun 2016
Not Worth It (12w)
Leila The Kiwi Jun 2016
It's not worth
being that open
and trusting,
it's a death trap.

2.2k · May 2016
Petals (explicit)
Leila The Kiwi May 2016
I kneel before her
Smoldering heat
Coated in want
Hips rise
Thrash and squirm
An eager tongue
Darts forward

Her petals
Are my reward!

1.9k · Jul 2016
Love Me Tonight (explicit)
Leila The Kiwi Jul 2016
Feather light touch,
Your skin pressed against
the arch of my back,
Smooth curve of hips
Grasped tight,
Whispered moans
Escape lips of silk.

Oh darling,
Love me tonight.

Leila The Kiwi Jan 2017
Fresh wounds
Begin to fester
Tearing inward
Scars  deepen
Transported from flesh
To the soul of a victim,

Specific pain
Catered to the controller
An intimate bond of blood to emotion
Crimson Consumption
Pristine Flagellation
Perfect Punishment

With each step
My youth deteriorates
Enticing me deeper into the void
To which I am held captive

l.v.s and z.w.b
1.4k · May 2016
Leila The Kiwi May 2016
No matter how hard it hurts
Promise me
You'll never forget;
There's always
A little something to gain
From pain.

1.3k · May 2016
By My Side
Leila The Kiwi May 2016
Without you by my side,
This throne crumbles to ruin.

Without you by my side,
My crown gathers rust.

Without you by my side,
I'm no longer a queen.

Without you by my side,
I'm just another peasant.

Without you by my side,
I join the countless lost souls.

Without you by my side,
I'm worthless.

I no longer
The woman
You love.
You're by my side.

1.3k · Nov 2017
Fellow Warrior
Leila The Kiwi Nov 2017
If we get closer
I hope
I can still
Make myself feel better,
Like I did today.

I want to be strong
And work
As a teammate.

Instead of
Depending on people
Too much
Like I did at some stages
In the past.

I'm empowered
And happier
When I'm more in control
Of myself
And the relationship;
Instead of being reduced
To something that fits
In someone's pocket.

I want to flutter around
Have a good time
And leap in excitement
With my partner's hand in mine.

Both trying our best
To find happiness
In hidden places.

Nudging each other forward
Helping one another
Remember their potential
When they start to fall behind.
That's a relationship I long for.

I'm glad you took a moment
To yourself earlier.
I can understand
How that'd be stressful
And you put yourself first
Which is a good thing.

Thank you for that
And I'm proud of you,
You should always come first.

I hope you're relaxed and at peace
When you rest,
Cherish it while it lasts.

You never know
When another battle will arise.
Trust when I say,
I'll have your back
If you ever need me.

Things are starting to look up once again.
1.2k · Apr 2016
Leila The Kiwi Apr 2016
"In order to be irreplaceable,
One must be different"
-Coco Chanel

We may all feel the hunger to fit in
But why would you want to fit in, When you can be unique?

The courage to be yourself in a world full of sheep- in itself- is beautiful
And frankly, the only person you should try to impress, is yourself
At the end of the day who's always there for you?
That's right!
It's you!
Do you want those you love, those you spend the most time with, to remember you when you're gone?
To smile and laugh when they think about you?
Then, be unique
Remove the chains you've wrapped around your neck in order to be "normal"
Spread your wings and let this world see you
Some may be flooded by your boldness
They may become venomous, because they're too afraid to do it themselves
Do not give them the power to dampen your spirit
Hold your head high
Be proud in who you are
Because the rest of us, those who have freed ourselves?
We're waiting for you
And we want to wrap you in a blanket of warmth and kindness
When you're ready,
Come find us

We may all have the hunger to fit in
But why should we want to fit in,
When we can be unique?

1.1k · May 2016
Leila The Kiwi May 2016
My love for you is like an avalanche
At first,
All seems gentle and harmless
Over time,
It gains momentum and swells
The unrestrained beast
Rumbles and growls

1.1k · Nov 2017
Leila The Kiwi Nov 2017
Get off my back, ok?
I've got heaps of homework
I've got a practice internal
which looks completely difficult
I've got to pack for a field trip
even though I don't have all the things, but I'll make do
All of which has to be completed in two days.

I've been exhausted,
Haven't been getting enough sleep
I'm not ready for the pressure of school
My mind isn't on that level yet
Woken up this morning,
Nagged to do lots of things
As if this pressure isn't enough already.

It's only 9:50AM,
My day's starting to go down hill,
It's turning to ****.
Can't you see that I'm stressed out?
Can't you see I've got enough on my plate?
Can't you see I'm fighting back tears?
Can't you see I'm trying to motivate myself to do everything else?
Are you trying to bring me to my breaking point?
It sure as hell feels like it!

It makes me want to scream,
Throw things,
Yell and hit,
I want to have a break from all this,
Get away until I calm down
Can everything just be easy?

But I'll square my shoulders and hold my head high,
You won't see me cry.
No one will see me cry.
I'm not going to lose it,
I won't make a mess.
I'll handle it
Do my work,
Prepare everything
And try be positive.
I just need my headphones,
That's all I need
To block everyone out
And get things done.

Stay off my back?
All I ask for is two days.
Two days
Without extra pressure,

I found a poem I wrote about two years ago(?) and realized I hadn't posted it on here.
1.0k · Apr 2016
Open the Floodgates
Leila The Kiwi Apr 2016
Open the floodgates
You seem afraid to do so
You seem to believe
I'll be swept under
And taken from you forever
You said: "You already have enough to deal with"
But, I doubt you've considered,
That being locked out by you,
Is the leading cause of my pain

Open the floodgates
When I was left alone
I uncovered my strength
I learnt to get by on my own
If your words cut deep
If I must do so again
I'll heal myself
I'm not afraid to be pulled under
Not anymore

Open the floodgates
Though, your suffering may cause salt stains on my cheeks
Though, how you see yourself may crack my heart in two
Though, you may have sent others fleeing in fear
Though, it seemed you were only truly cared for by a few
I will not give in
I'll stand tall
I'll push through the currents
You won't see me fall
Unless I'm on my knees before you
Until your walls have crumbled and your heart is within my reach
I'll gather every ounce of strength
In order to make it
So I can pull all your broken pieces into my arms,
Pour the contents of my heart and soul into them
In an attempt to show
I care
In an attempt to show you
I'll always be here

Open the floodgates, my love
Look into my eyes as I swim through the force
Simply to cradle you in my arms
Know this, if I can't make it to the other side
I will die trying
I won't give up on you

Open the floodgates
Give me a chance

995 · Apr 2016
Leila The Kiwi Apr 2016
I was once told:
"You can trust me"
"I'm here to help"
And "I'm here for you"
My innocent mind believed each word.
You had me convinced.
Looking back,
I can't help but wince

Your job is done;
I'm coated in your venom.
So, away you slither,
Abandoning me a final time.
Quietly, I wither

I don't blame you.
After all,
Who would want to hold
A heart laced with mold?

943 · May 2016
Hidden Corners
Leila The Kiwi May 2016
It's in our darkest times;
Trapped inside the labyrinth
Of our minds

With the waves of sorrow
Clawing out
And flowing freely
Down the engraved canyons
Of our tired eyes

That we discover
The most beautiful
Hidden corners
Of our souls.

924 · Dec 2016
Leila The Kiwi Dec 2016
A simple sound
Containing thought
And emotion,
Some expressed
Most bound.

The only thing we can share
The only thing we will share
The only thing we have
Are words.


How tired I've become
Of meaningless muttering.

Leila The Kiwi May 2016
The aggressive wind,
Doesn't knock softly on the door
He doesn't check to see if I want company
No, he's not that considerate.

The aggressive wind,
Wants his presence to be known.
He tackles my house,
My fighters spirit
And every last ounce of joy
To the cold hard ground.
Leaving me no other choice,
But to claw and drag
My way out.

The aggressive wind,
Is paying a visit tonight
Spitting hail in his wake
My body starts to quake.

The aggressive wind,
Never comes alone,
He's always joined by his
Dearest friend.
And I'm willing to bet
That the ice is going to set in
On the once sacred grounds
Of my heart.

So, aggressive wind,
Come on in,
Slide off your jacket
And take a seat.
Make yourself comfortable,
Because it's going to be a long night!

887 · Jun 2016
Can't Help Falling In Love
Leila The Kiwi Jun 2016
"Wise men say
Only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay
Would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you" - Elvis

Rolling through the credits
Of a film,
My sleep-dazed mind
Snapped to full awareness
At the sound of this song.

I've been through it before,
Lept straight through that open door.
I know it's foolish,
I'm not that stupid.
Flowing into a new romance
Right after losing
My first love,
Right after experiencing
Heart break...
You must think I'm insane!
People may say:
"Watch that silly girl, skipping around without a care. Has she forgotten? She'll only hurt herself and that boy. She can't move on yet, it's too soon. Such a foolish girl"

Well, they can speak of me
As they wish;
Curse my name,
Throw it to the depths of Hell,
Be toxic,
Try to poison me.
So I'll run away from him,
Hide my tail between my legs
While I seek out shelter.

But I know one thing
And it's sealed in fact,
This I'm willing to shout:
I can't help falling in love with you!

867 · Oct 2016
Old Trophy
Leila The Kiwi Oct 2016
What once ruled the mantel
Now shrivels beside outcasts

Rust crawls toward the heart
Shredding all relevance

Abandoned aspirations
Achievements left unrecognised

Images remain unfocused
Whilst consumed by encroaching demise

The tarnished skeleton
Unveils an aspect of reality.

A youthful audience bears witness
As coarse inscriptions sing
A corrosive chorus.
This describes an elderly person who has been abandoned in a rest home. They've refused to look at photos, achievements, memories, trophies... etc. because they remind them of when they were young and they only want to focus on how close they are to death. The person being described is in a similar situation to a trophy abandoned in a shed with paint tins, empty boxes... etc. It used to hold a lot of importance but now it's just another reject. The final stanza is a grandchild seeing what's become of their once loving grand parent.
860 · Jul 2016
If I Hurt You
Leila The Kiwi Jul 2016
What if I lash out
When I'm exhausted
and say things I don't mean,
What if you believe me,
Would those words
Haunt your mind
When you doubt yourself,
When you doubt us?
Maybe, maybe not.
But if that does happen,
If I hurt you,
I'd hurt myself
Twice as hard.

831 · Nov 2017
My Star
Leila The Kiwi Nov 2017
A small flicker of light
In the night

To remind me
There's good in the world.

Not demanding

Or flooding me
With the knowledge.

Barely a blink
Just enough
To give hope
Make me think.

You're out of reach,
For now...

I'm excited to have found a muse and to post often once again.
804 · Dec 2021
Leila The Kiwi Dec 2021
That which once glistened
and glimmered
now digs into my skin
leaving me breathless.

The marks of you left behind on me
forming scars, bruises and blisters.

I used to be enamored with the shine of you,
when I first came to know you, to learn of you.

But all that glitters is not gold
and I knew that you had no value
just another cheap imitation.

Something so far from the real thing
but desperately trying its hardest to be.

l.v.s and IM
784 · Dec 2016
Where Truth Lies
Leila The Kiwi Dec 2016
Inscribed upon silk
Is your raw humanity.

Lessons have taught
That such delicacies
Cannot be caught.

Unless uncovered
From the tomb
In which truth lies.

736 · Mar 2021
Wild Flowers
Leila The Kiwi Mar 2021
I left a trail
Of seeds behind
Hoping that
You'd follow them

Left untouched
They bloomed
In your absence

Looking back
Is a reminder
That I've grown
That it's best
Not to root oneself
Where the soil
Is dry.

723 · Sep 2020
Leila The Kiwi Sep 2020
I might sing off tune
I might stumble on words
I might forget lyrics

I'm trying
My best

It's touching
That you're
Still listening
To me.

719 · Jul 2016
Leila The Kiwi Jul 2016
You are the sun I orbit,
Ice and freezing temperatures
Flee from your touch;
I'm flooded with warmth.
As not to scorch
My fragile skin
You never slumber.

I rotate around you,
Though you're far
I remain here
Dependant on you.
You love
You care
From a distance.

Snow and icicles
Blossoms and waterfalls.
A never ending cycle,
You healing the wounds
Inflicted where light is foreign.

You give life,
Without you, I'd be bare
And bone dry.
I'll orbit you
Till the end of time
Or till we're
Swallowed by black.
You're my sun,
I need you...

706 · Oct 2019
Leila The Kiwi Oct 2019
It's been a long time
Since I last saw you

Why do things
Always end up like this?

You travel the world
Leaving behind
Broken hearts
And blood baths.

687 · Apr 2016
This Room
Leila The Kiwi Apr 2016
A soft caress of tears
The only source of comfort
In this hollow room
There's furniture
There's simple treasures
There's pictures on the wall
But none of it matters
Not at all

Where did everything go?
The laughter,
The warmth,
The companionship,
The love,
Why aren't you here?
This room is bare
No one's near

Once again,
I'm left alone.
In this room

685 · May 2016
Is it wrong?
Leila The Kiwi May 2016
Is it wrong,
That his best friend
-Who I'd never met-
Had to tell me?

Is it wrong,
That even though
He left me
For another,
I'm not the slightest bit angry?

Is it wrong,
That when other people
Speak horrible things about him,
It sends me into a rage?

Is it wrong,
That after he snuck away
Without a single good bye
Or thought of my well being,
I have an urge to protect him?

Is it wrong,
That he's cheated on me multiple times,
But I'm happy for him?

Is it wrong,
That my heart
Was stomped into the dirt,
Yet it left me
Feeling at peace?

I'll tell you what...

It sure as hell feels wrong,
Because I still care!
And I know for a fact,
That you don't.
Not anymore.

654 · Nov 2018
Leila The Kiwi Nov 2018
When things feel
Both so very wrong
And so very right
At the same time

It becomes
A fight
Within yourself.

629 · Jun 2016
Leila The Kiwi Jun 2016
I'm completely consumed...
My heart,
My mind,
But it's not like before.

My heart's not consumed
By longing and emptiness.
It's consumed by:
The softness of his spirit
His smile
And my love for him.

My mind's not consumed
By poisonous snakes or howling winds.
It's consumed by:
His kind and supportive words,
The silly teasing jokes he makes
And the fact that I don't think
I should have these feelings.

My everything's not consumed
By missing my ex or feeling sorry for myself.
It's consumed by:
The boy who's helping me move on,
Who understands that I'm not ready for a relationship
And comforts me if times get hard.

I'm completely and utterly consumed...
Just so you know Ben,
You're the reason for the movement of this pen.

598 · Oct 2016
Lost Flight
Leila The Kiwi Oct 2016
Plummeting down
Engulfed by flame

Pure white
Delicate and abundant

Now charred black
Brittle and sparse

Cradled in arms of patience
A treasure hidden from sight

Love stained tears multiply
He crumbles to the ground

Feathers of the fallen
Are carried in the breeze*

This poem was inspired by my cover photo (to the left on my page), I saw it and had an urge to write.

When I read this quote by my favourite poet I let out a little squeal of excitement because it matched my poem so well: "What is the point in flying, if I cannot fly with you? Cut off these wings and carry them with you, I only need them when you are here." - Tyler Knott Gregson
597 · Jan 2021
Leila The Kiwi Jan 2021
You provide
The illusion
Of shelter

But without
A solid foundation

I can only
Stand this
For so long.

591 · Jun 2016
Holding Your Hand
Leila The Kiwi Jun 2016
Small cottage,
Soothing fire burns within.
Tended to vegetable garden
In the backyard
Two small children
Scream with laughter
Fighting over a ball.
Inside sits a young woman
Waiting for her love to return.
Flipping through a photo album,
A smile plays at her lips
Memories play on queue.

To answer your question...
Holding your hand feels
Comforting and fills me with love.
It feels like home.

#home # love #waiting #cottage #warm #memories #welcome comfort
568 · May 2017
Jewelry Box
Leila The Kiwi May 2017
Alienated shell
Open and bare
Worn lining
Clawed shreds
Impaired illusion
Adorned dull
Aquamarine shards

The product of emotional abuse... Ruin.
562 · Apr 2016
Do You?
Leila The Kiwi Apr 2016
Some nights, do you lay in bed
Finding it hard to sleep
Battling with thoughts in your head?

No other choice but to witness old wounds reopen
Like a book you've read a thousand times
You know what's coming
Still, it catches you by surprise
Do you hope, wish and pray that someone was there to wipe your blurry eyes?
Even after all these years you recall each detail
Forced to relive your darkest fears

Some nights, do you lay in bed
Finding it hard to sleep
Battling with thoughts in your head?

Do you?

560 · Apr 2016
The Warm Sea
Leila The Kiwi Apr 2016
A thin sheet of ice borders the warm sea
You may ask:

"Logically speaking, wouldn't the ice melt away? The water would envelope the ice until, like the sea, it became warm. Your statement doesn't make sense"

I often ask myself that exact question
But, if there's a sudden cold snap and the mighty wind bites at the water,
Cooling it and allowing the ice to take hold
Why doesn't the warmth of the water fight to remain?
Shouldn't that large mass of water be able to swallow the ice before it's smothered and frozen?
If the water is so warm, surely it has that strength
Unfortunately, once the ice is joined by the vicious wind
That warm sea- which had created much joy and laughter, for those lucky enough to witness it- becomes overwhelmed and beaten into submission

Listen carefully, boy
When you gaze into the vast ocean of those eyes, into the very soul, of the woman you love
Maybe, just maybe
You'll realise that some things are more powerful than logic

When I wrote this I was in a writing mood but I wasn't sure what to write about. I decided I'd write about my eyes, which is what the first line is describing. The rest of the poem just flowed out and it's one of the few poems I've been completely happy with form the very beginning.
545 · Jul 2021
Pinky Promise
Leila The Kiwi Jul 2021
You can only promise
The present.

545 · Nov 2017
Leila The Kiwi Nov 2017
Quiet people
Don't stand out.
They're hard to notice.

You have to be looking
To find them;
It's a game
Of hide and seek.

When they open up
They're likely
To be very beautiful
They'll love the company
They're used to
Being overlooked.

You're not alone,
I know how it feels.

525 · Feb 2020
Is It So Wrong? (explicit)
Leila The Kiwi Feb 2020
It's driving me insane
Your hands on my hips
Spreading my  thighs
Having your way with me
Staring into my eyes
Claiming my soul

My lips stained red
Can't get you
Out of my bed
Out of my head

I'm mad about you...

Hooverphonic's Mad About You was playing while I was writing...
Leila The Kiwi Mar 2017
They speak of
An immaculate sky.
White and bland,
Lacking depth.

It's a blank canvas
I shan't deny,
Here we are reborn.

Within the breath of love,
Is where you are kept.


Apply vibrant colour to bare skin
The cleansing light
Through a hollow shell
Slipping between the cracks

Light and transcendent
You lay me with gentle grace
Submerged in ardent passion

Have your light consume
What resides inside

Purify all that I am,
Together set free.

491 · Apr 2016
Good bye Burnie (our dog)
Leila The Kiwi Apr 2016
I was planning to write something poetic and heart felt
But I'm far too tired,
I need some rest.

You were just over a year and a half old,
Still a pup.
But you bit someone two days ago,
It's not your fault.
You had a rough up bringing
Till you were taken away
From that man
And given to the SPCA.
Where you eventually met us,
Your new family.

You had trust issues.
And any other animal were fine.
You were just afraid and defensive
When it came to other people.
There were only two others,
Apart from the three of us,
That you wouldn't
Bark at,
Growl at
Or jump at.

What'd he do to you?
No one knows,
I guess we'll never know.
Your brothers and sisters
Had to be put down for the same reason.
You were seen as dangerous dogs
Who could be a threat.
The man from dog control said you were just an accident waiting to happen.

But he didn't know you
Like we do.
He didn't see you being
Smacked in the face by our cat
(He can be mean sometimes)
And just walking off with a wagging tail.
He didn't see how excited you were when someone played with you,
He didn't see how mellow and relaxed you were
When one of us cuddled you or pulled you into our arms.
He didn't see anything.
All he saw was a dog protecting
His house,
His family,
The cats and people he loved
When there was
No sign of a threat.

Burnie, it's not your fault
That the man who
Previously owned you
Isolated you
And treated you and your siblings
In a bad way.
It's not your fault you were scarred for life.
It's ok,
Your brothers and sisters
Have their baby brother back now.

I saw you for who you truly were
And I loved you.
This just isn't fair...
Good bye Burnie.

It's been a sad day...
489 · May 2016
What Have I Done?
Leila The Kiwi May 2016
What have I done?
It's just my emotions,
Don't take it personally.

What have I done?
I've just been a sad girl lately,
Things have been hard.

What have I done?
I thought I was handling things well.
Turns out,
I haven't.
Everything was just hidden below the surface.

What have I done?
I crumbled,
You blamed yourself.

What have I done?
I guess,
I'm a loaded gun.

453 · Nov 2017
Leila The Kiwi Nov 2017
Let's make a deal;
If we're providing support
And get second-hand emotions
We'll reassure the other
That we're a cloud.

We might be
soft and delicate,
But there's nothing wrong
with a little rain.

we'll collect our droplets
and float back
to the sun.

A deal made with a close friend I may be developing feelings for.
451 · Apr 2016
Leila The Kiwi Apr 2016
I try my best
To make people feel good about themselves
You could say,
I'm trying to spread happiness like it's a disease
Hoping it will catch on
Then spread through the masses

Sadly a lot of people
As they grow older
Become immune to true happiness
That alone,
Is one of the saddest things to witness

I try my best

438 · Jun 2016
Hell (9w)
Leila The Kiwi Jun 2016
I was locked in hell,
In two different worlds.*

424 · Aug 2019
Leila The Kiwi Aug 2019
Stop looking down
Why do you decide
To walk a fine line?

There's more to this world
And you deserve better
Than tiptoeing a wire
That limits
Your direction

And another...
418 · Jul 2016
Leila The Kiwi Jul 2016
You said your friend was joking,
I believed you.
It may seem stupid to other people
But it's not to me,
I always trusted you.

You said I could be with him,
It made you happy that I'd found someone better.
Even though you were jealous,
You only wanted
The best for me.

You wanted to be the same as before;
I was still your girl.
Only, I wasn't...
I am my own girl
And soon,
I'll be his.
It hurt you to hear that
But you understood
You wanted me to be with him.

You said you wanted to say good bye forever,
It may have brought tears
But I feel the same way.
Sliding our crowns
From our heads
We step towards each other,
Place the symbols of
Our devotion on the ground
And step away.

With no hesitation
I turn around,
And run straight into his open arms.
Burying my face
In the comfort of his chest.

Taking one last glance back
I lock eyes with you.
We share each final fragment of
And commitment
We have for one another.
With a slight twitch at the corners of your lips,
You look away.
It's official;
We'll never
See each other

406 · Nov 2016
Leila The Kiwi Nov 2016
Gracious she stands
fragile and soft
to the touch

Upon inspection
the tattered edges,
the bruised core,
the ruined state
is clear

A stem traps her
chaining her down
fingers outstretched
upon a thorn I bleed

Might she shatter
might she wilt
scars may never fade.

I'm torn.

Inspired by the song 'Can I Be Him' by James Arthur.
404 · Nov 2017
Leila The Kiwi Nov 2017
I've been told
That I make
Too many

That I should
Ask before
I decide
Something's true.

But why would I?
I've tried
Only to have
Curiosity thrown
in my face
Or they've lied.

I'd rather trust myself
than gamble
with you.

Earlier today I was complimented on my intuitive nature and it made me realize something...
400 · Feb 2019
Much Needed Distraction
Leila The Kiwi Feb 2019
I got dragged for a mile
By the loss of both
A partner and a flat mate
And the financial issues
Which are just part
Of the left behind baggage

A girl copied the meow
Of my brother's cat Kitty
This made me smile
It only lasted a while
But it made me feel
Just a little bit giddy

Dealing with so many issues in such a short time is freaking me out, I don't even want to think about it. I'm spending the night at my brother's house because I don't want to be alone in mine tonight...
Next page