Leila The Kiwi: Poems

Aftershock

Leila The Kiwi Jul 2020

Even in the moments
Where life is settled
I can't help but
Be prepared to
Run for the door

It tends to be when
I'm most comfortable
And content
That things begin
To crack
And crumble
At the seams.

l.v.s

The thought of finding somewhere new to live is stressing me out...

Airborne

Leila The Kiwi May 2020

Airborne

Your presence
Is feather-soft
And weightless

I lose myself
To learning
The constellations
Of your mind

With each
Passing second
I can feel
My mood lifting.

l.v.s

Apologize

Leila The Kiwi Nov 2020

Apologize

I've let you go
Regardless of
How you reach
For me
And remind
Me of
Moments past
The thought
Of you
Has left
My mind

We crumbled
To ruin
From neglect

It's too late
To apologize
It's too late
To go back

It's too late
For us.

l.v.s

Inspired by Apologize by One Republic

Appreciation

Leila The Kiwi Oct 2019

Appreciation

Thank you
For being such a light
In my life

I appreciate you
for who you are
and everything
you've ever been
to me.

I hope you shine on
and that your life
brings you happiness
because you deserve it

You're a blessing
to have in my life
and I'm so glad
that you're still here
walking this journey
with me.

Just know,
that you're important
to me and I don't imagine
that will ever change.

l.v.s

A message to a best friend and old love.

Ash on the Floor

Leila The Kiwi Jul 2019

Ash on the Floor

It's like my heart has shut itself down
And barred all the doors
Because it's given too much

l.v.s

this was inspired by a song I really like at the moment: Oceans by Jacob Lee https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_UbguGSJBo the version with spoken word is much better than the original

Avalanche

Leila The Kiwi May 2016

Avalanche

My love for you is like an avalanche
At first,
All seems gentle and harmless
Over time,
It gains momentum and swells
The unrestrained beast
Rumbles and growls

l.v.s

#fallinginlove

Awakened

Leila The Kiwi Jan 2022

Awakened

Bringing me back
To a time long ago

Before rubbled remnants
Of destruction scattered my mind

Childlike and carefree
Without a thought about what awaits me

A gift I couldn't
Have imagined to receive.

l.v.s

After realizing I'd shared the childlike wonder of affection I started to cry. It's been years since I let my guard down to this point and just let things flow so naturally. Getting lost in the moment and another person. Past relationships made me think it wasn't possible anymore... But it is.

Bite the Bullet

Leila The Kiwi Oct 2020

Bite the Bullet

I find myself here
Next to you

It's been some time now
It's hard to say
But it's true
Things between us
Are through.

l.v.s

Blank Page

Leila The Kiwi Jan 2020

Blank Page

Some people wander
The streets
To clear their heads

I wander
Between
Lines
On a
Page.

l.v.s

Budget

Leila The Kiwi Mar 2020

Budget

You've got your
Basic food needs
Shelter and warmth
Friends and family
Music, films, and games

You tell me
There's only
Enough for
The essentials

That there's
Not time
For me

I understand now
I'm not a
Priority.

l.v.s

back at it again with word generator poems

Burning

Leila The Kiwi Nov 2020

Burning

You chose
To leave
Your mark
On me

Without a
Second thought
Or asking
For my consent

You branded
Your name
In the scattered
Shadows of my mind

Perhaps you hoped
I'd hold a flame
For you
But I'm
Just
Burnt out.

l.v.s

Inspired by Burning by Sam Smith

Burning Light

Leila The Kiwi Dec 2020

Burning Light

At times
I look at
These small hands
Delicate and pale
With such an instinct
To hold something

Other times
I'm reminded of
My soft heart
When I reach
Towards someone
The scars screech
Still feeling the blade
In my back
From a lost love

Some times
I'm surprised
By my hair
Its magnificent magnitude
Its daring defiance
The presence it has
Within a room

This mane has a voice
It speaks of my
Strength and resilience
When my hands are small
When my heart is soft
When I forget.

l.v.s

By My Side

Leila The Kiwi May 2016

By My Side

Without you by my side,
This throne crumbles to ruin.

Without you by my side,
My crown gathers rust.

Without you by my side,
I'm no longer a queen.

Without you by my side,
I'm just another peasant.

Without you by my side,
I join the countless lost souls.

Without you by my side,
I'm worthless.

I no longer
Resemble
The woman
You love.
Unless,
You're by my side.

l.v.s

#worthless #alone #lostsoul #notmyself #breakup

Can't Help Falling In Love

Leila The Kiwi Jun 2016

Can't Help Falling In Love

"Wise men say
Only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay
Would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you" - Elvis

Rolling through the credits
Of a film,
My sleep-dazed mind
Snapped to full awareness
At the sound of this song.

I've been through it before,
Lept straight through that open door.
I know it's foolish,
I'm not that stupid.
Flowing into a new romance
Right after losing
My first love,
Right after experiencing
Heart break...
You must think I'm insane!
People may say:
"Watch that silly girl, skipping around without a care. Has she forgotten? She'll only hurt herself and that boy. She can't move on yet, it's too soon. Such a foolish girl"

Well, they can speak of me
As they wish;
Curse my name,
Throw it to the depths of Hell,
Be toxic,
Try to poison me.
So I'll run away from him,
Hide my tail between my legs
While I seek out shelter.

But I know one thing
And it's sealed in fact,
This I'm willing to shout:
I can't help falling in love with you!

l.v.s

#fact #foolish #fallinginlove #elvis #speakyourmind #uncontrollable #lyrics

Carnage

Leila The Kiwi Sep 2020

Carnage

Such a mess
That's been
Left behind

An endless expanse
Of exposed emotions
And discarded devotion

As usual,
I pick up
The pieces
And put things
Back together

But unlike before
You're not welcome
Back here
Anymore.

l.v.s

Catch

Leila The Kiwi May 2020

Catch

I recall
Our youth

As notches on our belt,
Bait attached to hooks.
Casting out our fates.
Seeing what we'd reel in,

A bountiful feast,
Sometimes nothing at all,
Memories made,
Stored in jars upon our shelves.

But we're
Not children
Anymore.

l.v.s and IM

https://www.instagram.com/inktuitive_mind/

Chains

Leila The Kiwi Dec 2021

Chains

That which once glistened
and glimmered
now digs into my skin
leaving me breathless.

The marks of you left behind on me
forming scars, bruises and blisters.

I used to be enamored with the shine of you,
when I first came to know you, to learn of you.

But all that glitters is not gold
and I knew that you had no value
just another cheap imitation.

Something so far from the real thing
but desperately trying its hardest to be.

l.v.s and IM

Cherry Wine

Leila The Kiwi Apr 2020

Cherry Wine

Your tolerance
For me
Has become
Paper-thin

You promised me
Forests and bird song
But now
All I'm left with
Is shredded
Love letters
How did things
Become so wrong?

l.v.s

Inspired by "Cherry Wine" by Hozier

Chorus

Leila The Kiwi Aug 2020

Chorus

You play me the same notes
And repeat your words

You'd think I'd learn by now but
I always fall for the verse

Again and again on loop
Leave me outside feeling hurt

Help me im stuck in this
I tell my mind just stop

We're not a broken record
Get out of my head...

l.v.s and friends

Word generator collab with friends

Cigarette

Leila The Kiwi May 2020

Cigarette

Each breath
I take
Pulls you
Further
From me

Just
A few
Beats
Of my
Heart
And
It's
All
Lost
To
Ash.

l.v.s

Another word generator poem

Closure

Leila The Kiwi Mar 2020

Closure

There's not
Much space
Between
Where we
Stand

If we
Wanted to
We could
Reach out

I'd be there
For you
I'd hold you
In my arms

But you
Won't take
That step

Before I die
I want...

To know why.

l.v.s

I'm watching the movie ' All The Bright Places.' There's a scene where they're writing on a wall, filling in the blank after 'before I die I want' and that inspired me.

Clutch

Leila The Kiwi Jun 2020

Clutch

Please let me go
We both know
This isn't enough
And I will not
Be reduced
To a crutch
For you
To lean on.

l.v.s

A word generator poem

Consideration

Leila The Kiwi Jul 2020

Consideration

Settle down
Take a moment
And look at me
Consider this
Consider us
Do you want more?

If so,
Please
Choose
Your words
Wisely.

l.v.s

Consumed

Leila The Kiwi Jun 2016

Consumed

I'm completely consumed...
My heart,
My mind,
Everything.
But it's not like before.

My heart's not consumed
By longing and emptiness.
It's consumed by:
The softness of his spirit
His smile
And my love for him.

My mind's not consumed
By poisonous snakes or howling winds.
It's consumed by:
His kind and supportive words,
The silly teasing jokes he makes
And the fact that I don't think
I should have these feelings.

My everything's not consumed
By missing my ex or feeling sorry for myself.
It's consumed by:
The boy who's helping me move on,
Who understands that I'm not ready for a relationship
And comforts me if times get hard.

I'm completely and utterly consumed...
Just so you know Ben,
You're the reason for the movement of this pen.

l.v.s

#love #movingon #consumed #hope

Contradiction

Leila The Kiwi Nov 2020

Contradiction

I'll stand between you
And your thoughts

You've convinced yourself
That you deserve
Devastation and destruction

I dare you
To direct
Your thoughts
At me

You're letting
Those filthy thoughts
Feed off you

I'll drag away
That parasitic voice

Please
Let me
Protect you
From yourself.

l.v.s

Counting Steps

Leila The Kiwi Feb 2022

Counting Steps

One, two, three, four
I want to see you more

Five, six, seven, eight
Wouldn't that be great?

Nine, ten
I hope this never ends.

Though sometimes I may lose count,
There will never be a shred of doubt,
That what we have is something so different.
And it's just so appealing.

l.v.s and IM

Curtain Call

Leila The Kiwi Mar 2020

Curtain Call

Stop pretending
You don't know
What's happening
Here

You've always
Played the part

But I see
The crack
In your grin
The knife
Behind your back
The faults
In your
Performance

I've been captivated
Absorbed in the show
But you're the same
Character
Each time

I already know how
The story ends
I've had enough
Of your twisted tale

Find another audience.

l.v.s

Dangerous Dance

Leila The Kiwi Sep 2020

Dangerous Dance

Take my hand
And come closer
Twirl me around
Your finger

But please
Don't let me fall
Unless you're
Coming down
With me

Dizzy and giddy
Laughing at our luck

Together
On the floor.

l.v.s

Date

Leila The Kiwi Jan 2021

Date

Don't reach for me
With your
Quicksand hands

That is to say,
I look at you
And I can see
My time
Slipping away

You'll take
From me
Till there's
No grain
Left

Till I've
No place
To land
But the
Floor.

l.v.s

Development

Leila The Kiwi Nov 2017

Development

I hope we keep growing;
As individuals
In our lives
And, hopefully,
Together.

l.v.s

#hope #growth #future #relationship

Disconnect

Leila The Kiwi Jun 2020

Disconnect

Won't you please
Just look at me?
I'm right here
I'm with you
But you'd prefer
To act as if
I'm not

I want you
To see me
But I guess
My company
Doesn't matter
To you
Anymore.

l.v.s

another poem inspired by the song Helpline...

Double Standard

Leila The Kiwi Mar 2020

Double Standard

Don't look down
At me, lover boy
I can show you
Around town

Lead you through
The dark alleys
Of your mind
That you're
Far too
Afraid
To share

We can chat
And hold hands
The whole way

I wouldn't mind
The pitch-black
Inside you

But you always
Need sunshine
From me.

l.v.s

felt inspired listening to 'by the time you've finished your coffee' by korantemaa

Do We Take That Risk?

Leila The Kiwi Feb 2020

Do We Take That Risk?

You're following my footsteps
Smiling at my missteps

I'm not sure
Where we're going
Do we have
A destination
Or are we
Treading water?

The two of us are out of place
The two of us might lose this race

But darling,
Please tell me...

Are we Fools?
What if we ruin it all?
And all we have we lose?

We're fine as we are
But we want more
Isn't that dangerous?

l.v.s

This time it was Lauren Aquilina's Fools

Do You?

Leila The Kiwi Apr 2016

Do You?

Some nights, do you lay in bed
Finding it hard to sleep
Battling with thoughts in your head?

No other choice but to witness old wounds reopen
Like a book you've read a thousand times
You know what's coming
Still, it catches you by surprise
Do you hope, wish and pray that someone was there to wipe your blurry eyes?
Even after all these years you recall each detail
Forced to relive your darkest fears

Some nights, do you lay in bed
Finding it hard to sleep
Battling with thoughts in your head?

Do you?

l.v.s

#alone #tears #memories #thoughts #sleepless #latenights #depression

Dreadful Daisies

Leila The Kiwi Jan 2020

Dreadful Daisies

I take a light to these pages
Watching my thoughts drift on the wind
Petals fall like unspoken words

He loves me...
not.

l.v.s and j.r.b

Echo

Leila The Kiwi Jun 2020

Echo

At this point
I should stop

I should stop
Sharing my thoughts
With you

I should stop
Spending my time
On you

I should stop
Craving and wanting
Your company

I should stop
Feeling and caring
For you

I should stop
I should
I
I wish
I could
Stop.

l.v.s

another Helpline poem

Empaths

Leila The Kiwi Nov 2017

Empaths

Let's make a deal;
If we're providing support
And get second-hand emotions
We'll reassure the other
That we're a cloud.

We might be
soft and delicate,
But there's nothing wrong
with a little rain.

Eventually,
we'll collect our droplets
and float back
to the sun.

l.v.s

A deal made with a close friend I may be developing feelings for.

#empathy #promise #emotions #rise

Emphasis

Leila The Kiwi Sep 2020

Emphasis

Through your
Dancing in delight
You bring light
To my days

Diverting my attention
From dark thoughts
To those
Of affection.

l.v.s

Encased in Ice (The Warm Sea, Part Three)

Leila The Kiwi Apr 2019

Encased in Ice (The Warm Sea, Part Three)

Bitter waves lap at my feet
Whilst the tempest tugs at my hair
Pleading me to step forward

Leading me into the depths
That hold me captive
Left to scratch my way out
My last attempt at anything
Why didn't I expect to fail?

Finally, you come to see
How I am coping
But silence is your only reply.

You're too late.

l.v.s

I finally managed to write the third part! I used sections from my other poems to make this one. I found an aspect of another poem which relates to my own: "to and from frozen places with the shivering in between, hoping for a bit of warmth to take the edge off." - Tyler Knott Gregson

Experience

Leila The Kiwi Jul 2019

Experience

I wish to meet you
Before these lives
Leave us behind

l.v.s

Expression

Leila The Kiwi Jun 2019

Expression

It's far less vulnerable
To show a pale scar

Than it is to expose
To another
Your bloodied self

l.v.s

Expressionism

Leila The Kiwi Mar 2021

Expressionism

You're a masterpiece to me.

Each piece of art isn't for everyone
There are no flawless artworks
Because there'll always be someone
That thinks it could be different.

Come to me with jagged paint strokes
I'll still appreciate you regardless.

I come here to see you
If I wanted to put that energy
Towards something else,
I would.

But I choose to look at you
Because you're beautiful
Even with your imperfections.

l.v.s

Fast Car

Leila The Kiwi Feb 2022

Fast Car

Let's take this slow
We've got no where to go

I feel like I belong
With you by my side
We can go far and wide.

No distance too great,
and we're never late.
Always at the right moment,
almost as if it were fate.

l.v.s and IM

Fellow Warrior

Leila The Kiwi Nov 2017

Fellow Warrior

If we get closer
I hope
I can still
Make myself feel better,
Like I did today.

Because
I want to be strong
And work
As a teammate.

Instead of
Depending on people
Too much
Like I did at some stages
In the past.

I'm empowered
And happier
When I'm more in control
Of myself
And the relationship;
Instead of being reduced
To something that fits
In someone's pocket.

I want to flutter around
Have a good time
And leap in excitement
With my partner's hand in mine.

Both trying our best
To find happiness
In hidden places.

Nudging each other forward
Helping one another
Remember their potential
When they start to fall behind.
That's a relationship I long for.

I'm glad you took a moment
To yourself earlier.
I can understand
How that'd be stressful
And you put yourself first
Which is a good thing.

Thank you for that
And I'm proud of you,
You should always come first.

I hope you're relaxed and at peace
When you rest,
Cherish it while it lasts.

You never know
When another battle will arise.
Trust when I say,
I'll have your back
If you ever need me.

l.v.s

Things are starting to look up once again.

#battle #support #fighting #hope #independence #relationships #strength #teamwork #stable #control

Filth

Leila The Kiwi Nov 2017

Filth

Darling, don't let him affect you.
Don't let him do that.

If you saw dirt on your shoe
You wouldn't
Spend the whole day
Staring at it.
You'd get a cloth,
Wipe it off and
Throw it away.

Throw
Him
Away.

l.v.s

A self-talk I had after getting angered by the thought of my ex and the things I tolerated.

#ex #memories #discust

Forgetful

Leila The Kiwi Jan 2020

Forgetful

Memories
Words
and
Experiences
Disintegrate

Fortunately
For you
This is something
I can anticipate.

l.v.s

Found

Leila The Kiwi Nov 2017

Found

Quiet people
Don't stand out.
They're hard to notice.

You have to be looking
To find them;
It's a game
Of hide and seek.

When they open up
They're likely
To be very beautiful
They'll love the company
Because
They're used to
Being overlooked.

You're not alone,
I know how it feels.

l.vs

#shyness #hideandseek #unnoticed #company #notalone

Freedom

Leila The Kiwi Nov 2017

Freedom

There's nothing wrong
With focusing
On other things.

In fact,
It's a good thing.

I don't want
To become your life,
I want
To be a part of it.

I love talking to you
but do what needs
to be done first
and don't be afraid
to do other things you enjoy.

I wouldn't want
To feel like
A prison sentence.

l.v.s

#freedom #individuality #independence #healthyrelationship #company #prison

Free Me (old and unfinished)

Leila The Kiwi Dec 2017

Free Me (old and unfinished)

Free me, from this loneliness
sitting here in the dark
with nothing but emptiness in my heart
I ask myself, where have you gone?

Free me, for I am afraid
Perhaps you don't want to stay?
I require urgent aid
I'm locked in this cage

Free me, I am smothered in sorrow
Life is currently one huge obstacle
I tell myself there's always tomorrow
You're bound to come back
Like a hound with a bone,
You can't resist

I was writing some poems into my book when I realized the name of a poem on the list of dates (showing when they were posted on my old website/written) which wasn't on Hello Poetry. So I went on a little mission to find it and it was hidden on my laptop. It's from the 23/1/16 and it was written between 'hidden corners' and 'aggressive wind.'

Fresh Wounds (Collab with Zachary)

Leila The Kiwi Jan 2017

Fresh Wounds (Collab with Zachary)

Fresh wounds
Begin to fester
Tearing inward
Scars deepen
Transported from flesh
To the soul of a victim,

Specific pain
Catered to the controller
An intimate bond of blood to emotion
Crimson Consumption
Pristine Flagellation
Perfect Punishment

With each step
My youth deteriorates
Enticing me deeper into the void
To which I am held captive

l.v.s and z.w.b

http://hellopoetry.com/zachary-bellamy/

#depression #victim #blood #captive