I am man

Yes.

I am man.

Who  Can play certain sports

I love my cars and mechanics

I can be a pain with my antics…

Seemingly Full of Only Testosterone and Pride

I can be shallow

I can be flirty

However, there is, to me, another side.

My heart feels

I cry while watching sad or romantic movies

A feel lost while alone

I judge the man that I see in the mirror

It couldn’t be any clearer

That I have a more feminine part

This man that you see

Is also a true loving Lady, inside.

Loyal.

Listening with a true ear.

Giving too much of himself

Hiding his pain to save another hurting and who has cried

on my shoulders

I offer the warmth and strength

Protection...

Discipline like a Man

However, I have just made my stand.

Just because I am the image you see

In physical form on the outside…

Does not mean I’m on the prowl

Like a Lion on the hunt for his Pride.

Looking for his next conquest

Like a flesh hungry Zombie

I am more alive than I look

Inside and out

I am Man through and trough out.

I proudly have declared myself, whole, in a sweet

and loud shout

I am my own worst enemy
I lost my mind

Tears - they kept on flowing.

18 electro-convulsive therapies later…

My mind’s all scared..

Like nuking meat in the microwave…

It’s sad and glowing.

On and off the wagon

I hurt my leg and couldn't keep walking.

I beg for help

But I couldn't afford the crutch

Can I play this game, any longer?

Before I lose everything..everyone that I care for?

What I need in my life, so very much?

The storm was started

As anger lit the match

I mended such broken parts back together

Can’t you see? Insanity?

It might be said “to last, forever.”

“Will you get the best of me?”

“Never!”

My eyes opened to the wonder around me.
So much to see in a day fresh and young.
Taking in the brisk morning air.....
I looked up and  I saw dancing clouds, a bright fiery
ball, the sun.
With full lungs...My imagination was now on the run.
My eyes opened to see....  a shadow from my body.
An image ,like a marionette, dancing along with me.
It started some laughter,from the  vision, which this whimsical imagery's wake-up call had just  rung..
To remind me that I am part of this world.
A grand place that it is.
All the smiles around me, from passers walking by..
the scenery around me...
the sounds of nature..
Reminded me to be grateful of all that I am.
That I am not as different  from any who were
around me there.
Erasing the thoughts that had once cast a rain cloud above me
and had brought me down...
I shed  my pity and sometimes large ego and  found, "A Happy Goodbye."
When my eyes were closed, I was too blind to see.
With my ears closed, I was to deaf to hear.
Now that I took the first step...
Out into the bigger world of the "Open."
To a better future, from despair, I know is now near...
These closed eyes are no longer too blind to see...
"Now,"  to the real me my inner voice had to say, "with no longer closed ears" "You are now able to see the beauty of each passing day."

Why do nice people end in life’s rat race, last?
A thrown out contents into the cold soul’s dump?
Hence, becoming a forgotten and recycled soul
In which those who cast such out, did not remember of the light In them, until the cost has been cast?
Why is a bright future so much of a Horder’s dream in which they can corrupt and or steal such soul’s energies, for their greed?
Take such a warning.
You , the hoarder shall drown in despair’s ocean ,once your guilt has never been needed.
Drown if you must, in such intoxications.
For your end will always be the cost of the lust for the brighter.
Their legends shall live , forever, as fighters.
For ,as the much stronger and brighter beings ,shall laugh at your new infatuation.
We learn, ever so quickly, those false actors of “the nice.”
As our cold and knowing states, of how you took our Conrad’s in the greedful , shall never get a listen. As our ears-closed, when they were living and bright, as our eyes glare shall freeze your fuel and sick soul’s to solid,freezing ice.

I live in a world so empty and ohh so invisible
I might walk side by side the strangers on the street
Trying too hard to gain a smile.
Why can't I have  a companion to greet?
Lightening shocks of routine cracking up the thin ice
I walk very gently to avoid falling through
as the weight of question adds stress
upon the already cracking surface.
My soul shines. As with other beings
It tries to attract others to share it's mortality with.
The failure of success of this
A foot falls through the Ice
When will the other foot lose ground?
Am I to freeze, falling into the cold waters below...?
A lost and unsound scary feeling.

i feel you...
though we are thousands of miles apart
you dear friends and deep romantic interests.,,
you are never alone.
when those empty and trying cold nights
frighten and chill you to the bone.
you have my spirit with you.
as my heart beats
it sends its signal to  all i adore since all i do value
through all the storms in which i have been through
i could never have made it down this far without you.
so as you stop and do think of me
we bare the burden together...
as long as you need me in thought or in presence
i shall support you like Atlas and hold the weight of your world
as i hold you in my heart
stronger than "gorilla glue."

Faded sunlight into the darkness of the night
Colors of Orange, yellow, and red line up the skyline.
Visions signaling Earth's readiness to sleep
As one dazzles at the awesome sight.
The heart beats a sigh as the day makes the soul feel more active
The nocturnal spirit awakens
seeking the presence of his companion creativity
The shutters in the cold darkness with a smile
his soul then lights up the now dark city.
The quiet hours mark the challenge to scare saddening thoughts away
The success of action depends upon a dedicated fire
that burns of this spirit
It ignites
Warming up all around him
As it hits.

Another world

Inside of my head

I roam freely here.

Alice In Wonderland.

I ate the cakes.. I got bigger

I stomped the queen

I pulled The trigger

A mad hatter

To watch the Flower’s tears

splatter.

With a smile and a “Howdy Do”

I looked back to the thrill

In wonderland

World War three

I enjoyed each ****.

My true spirit smacked my face

to put this demon in it’s place

I cleaned up the ****** shower

Handed each thought’s grave

a flower

I ran to the white queen

She was glad

This Alice had decided to leave

Her twisted and lost wonderland.

I miss you in a Thought Flash
I see your face inside of my mind
So real and so animate
I wish to reach out to touch the one..
She's gone......I feel her heart, oh so kind.
She stood tall
Even though she felt small
She raised hell
She kept her calm even through the storms.
However, through it all, she was my rock
when the waters almost swept me to Hell.
I hear her voice
She speaks to me.... Even when I'm awake
I feel her supportive breath
Upon my weary and heavy sjoulders
I grow from weak to stronger.......
Just from the dawn of another moment and the honor of her's that's what' is at stake.
If I should fail if I give in
To those around who put on false acts
to win their moments...
No matter how weak, ugly, alienated, or far removed from others..
I lift my spirits up..It's a beautiful environment... as I might feel torturous moments dealing with those who stare , point , or they fail to see my hard works or emotions there....
I feel stronger by beating the strongest of Iron Clad wills..
I smile and shine
As those doubters attack and in question of my failure to retreat, simply stand there and stare...
It was your energy...your living will... and the strength you knew that was in me
That won these almost defeating challenges..
As this victory was all mine.

Electric Signals flaming through my brain
Thoughts are flashing by my eyes so quickly
I fear that my mind is going insane.
A flash of sanity hits me like a hammer
I see the replay from the visions of my past
My mind is warning me not to be in haste
Becoming that nervous wreck
On the high way of life that is racing through
the all-to-familiar lanes of heck.
I force out the tears and then laugh off the extreme energies
that had tried to hold me down
I flash out and upward like Batman
Chaining down the Demons trying to push down my head and allow my soul to drown.
I beat them down.
I show them who's boss.
Now, even the devil is scared.
The superhero that is my strong spirit
Hits the continuation of this trip
Going past the insanity
Happily, with my friends, they remind me to "Keep with it."

I tripped over a traffic speed bump
as I fell to the ground as I was walking
Such a fall felt like a mountain
when the vocal   fires of rebellion, toward me, started talking.
After caring ears failed to listen to my innocence
and then turned their backs torwards me
I started to build a wall.
As I was halfway through blocking out the world
I woke from this nightmare and listened to my heart
I smashed such bricks to pieces
and decided to make a fresher, and newer, start.
You are a link in the chains of my life.
What happens to me
It happens to you
So feel th winds of Karma return to you.
I shall still be waiting for you, standing.
As I am not a phony. I'm indebted to you friends to the very end.
When you are down with the mistake
The small one which I have made that you are now branding...
Feel like a puny fool as you walk back when you need me
and I am the one, only pone there...still standing

Indestructible

The bills pour in.
I am sick from the pain.
Here it goes…
A hungry white boy grows ,slowly, insane.
Does he give up or give in?
He fights, harder,still.
When the world tries you, enough.
That’s when your endurance begins.
I’ve been in survival mode for so long.
It never let’s up.
So, this older redneck must stay strong.
Fighting for a better life..
To become a legend before I die.
Nights can bring me to my knees as I cry.
I am never beat. I edge,onward yet.
No one can **** the energy of this soul.
Not one thing can I have to drown with tears of regret.
I’ve suffered through physical pain and mental exhaustion
Stains left inside of my head.
However closely with the reaper I’ve danced
I never was the one he dragged out,dead,

I need light
Like a flower placed in the dark
I've grown weaker and wilted.
Can you place my rooted feet in this *** inside the sunlight?
Why must you not say a word in reply?
Would it hurt to relate to another hurting soul
even if you were at the same point that night?
Maybe we needed each other in such moments
maybe we've had parallel lives
However, your silence cuts my heart like a thousand knives?
Maybe I approached you and said, anything,
since my words were all messed up in fears that you wouldn't understand....
Maybe what I was asking for was you to hold my hand?
I might seem dark..
Lustful.....
Desperate.......
Pitiful......
Less Than what I should seem to feel......
But let's be real....
We both cry dry and silent tears...
What is the me reminding you of those who treated the heart in you, cruel?
I'm not that person. I am a different moment and future.
No chance is worse than giving one.
Hurts more
and is like being shot in a demanded gun duel?
Just keep up with me and you shall see...
That united hearts is what I have sought...
Give me a valuable glance...chance...
we can both then be freed from our cells
and run in the sun,together, forever, together, to be.

The chains of darkness are dragging me down
I feel the strength to fight
However, I know that I cannot do such, alone.
I scream out and try not to blame myself...
Wearing the frown of a clown.
I have been fighting this illness for what seems like ions
I sometimes look too far forward
Comparing myself to my favorite icons.
I sometimes fear the unknown...
I sometimes avoid the unknown...
How can I have any more experiences if I have none of them to have grown?
I need to experience what makes me feel uncomfortable
I must find someone to share such experiences
Rather than to go it alone
Such teamwork such benefit us both
As doing things together
Shall strengthen our bones.
The chains that shackle us to the fear
shall break away
Freedom shall reign
As we share, together, the taste of freedom's wine
In broader numbers who added to our team
A brighter and more successful day.

When I first glanced into your eyes
I saw visions of hope
The beauty, from your big and true soul, in which my love relies upon
The strength from the fires of your desire to be beside me.
Your love has made me braver
In which my strength now makes me free.
Entwined hearts like ivy vines in a vineyard
We are an intoxicating wine
In which one drinks and enjoys blissful drunken moments
Letting desire run wild
Hot and true
I feel your spirit mold my soul
Into something less meek and mild.
Now we dance to the beat of our loving hearts
Forever true and strongly fused, together..
We are always in the Garden of Eve, forever
Now that our need,for each other
Takes us over....right from one another in first sight.

Late at night
One can see a light on
In my home
As I invent and also daydream
Inventions to renew a worn out world
Helping those who have limited ways
In which to find their ways
I  am a "kind scientist" getting lost in my brightest of schemes.
In my dreams
I see a much more advanced and a much more united people in the future
As I enjoy the astral travels
To different moments and places in time
I become inspired
By such brilliant visions
Another diagram and invention to plan out
Spreading brilliant ideas abroad to foreign gravels.
I donate my "smarts" and "data passed ideas"
over wireless lines
To work hard to see such astral predictions come true
I raise a glass of soda to my reflection
"A toast to the future, the moment, and a design for
a successful and more united  world...
in creative designs."

The energies from your heart fuel my passion from afar.
My longing for you grows deeper,still.
My mind, through love and vivid dreams, makes my energies shoot to your heart like a shining star.
Kisses beneath the moonlight.
Our souls become one and together.
Even though we are separated by miles...
We Are together in love's presence, forever.
The words in your letters and the sound of your voice over the phone
Melts away the cold loneliness
Through each other's interaction makes us to be never left alone.
The future shall bring us physically together in life and family.
Through love and it's power
You small always be part of and with me.

I have got the most powerful tool in my hand
It's not a knife,gun,or brass knuckle
It's a pen and a piece of paper
I use such with a strike in a promise land.
My ink is my blood
the pen is my needle
The paper is the fabric in which I sew my soul into such
I group of words and a powerful message
A weapon for the people without a voice
Such a tool that they need so very much.
The reading of their words inspires more of mine
The flame grows bigger
we intertwine
Souls knitted together
through words,pen ink,and tears
we overcome those horrid days and shortcomings
We are a united army
Standing, tall, against the sum of all fears.

In this Land

Of Cool Breezes, The Different Faces of our Neighbor,

Waters felt running across the feet in a small flowing river….

Blessings are Counted.

Beautiful words that we value and share

Exchange of ideas between us and those around us with no where to go but up…

These Are the blessings of America.

As the liberty flag waves proudly for all to see

As Lady Liberty holds proudly the welcome to all who care to visit

This beautiful and free land

The weights of their once felt shackles are felt as they release the new

to mingle with the old in this Nation of the free.

America the Beautiful, standing together as one brave nation….

A power that exceeds all known or thought of limitations…

This “Giant..” always welcomes as the “Bear” that

we have proudly have become in spirit, we defend and honor one another…Each passing day.

In beauty for all and respect to all who visit our borders.

Ohh how I long to be touched

Sensuality is a beautiful gift

Hunger for such

Signals yearning to find someone who

With you is crushed.

Humans need humans

Age doesn’t define worthiness

Looks fail to be merely a reflection

Years without the sensual release

Starts personality’s infection

The energy is just

This man longs for  intimate encounters

He is no pervert but a romantic

Pieces to his puzzle are missing

Could you be the mate to please and company

A soul that yearns for deeper things than just kissing

Years of scars
from the horrors of war
in my life
mark my face..
A being trapped on the battle fields
of the insanity which appears
in a family who is a part of the Human Race.
Breaking apart.
There is no glue to keep this family together.
Lost brethren
Lost Loved Ones
Eat my Soul
until there is nothing left
Empty roads that I must travel alone
Leading to laughter inside of my mind
Into insanity.
Forever.
Such a long time.
Who do you turn too
when they appear to be there, however, not an action
or Feeling can bet sought....
As money and the American Rat Race leaves them like mindless
robots....
A curse...as you grow older...Shackled by Injury
To both mind and body
That Leaves you less than full
You wish to achieve
But their barriers of authority and allowance will block you
You put on the war paint
You laugh and clap at their promises
Now, you are a Joker's Wild
An insanity ridden and rage filled frothing being
created by their let downs and abscesses
of empty lots called memories
You become an infamous figure written in time's books of
history.

A new drink
From the bar.
I never have to roam far
For as my tears flow
and my thoughts grow
In insanity and darkness
I get intoxicated off sorrow's drink
"self Devastation."
It is such a rush.
This free drink. Such speaks to me.
The "sorrow's" bartender gives me a drink.
And then another....
I don't need a tab or check for this visit.
As such drinks are paid by "insanity."

Don't Cross the line
Asking questions
Defies the law of facts
You are ******
A broken train rail on the line
Communication is limited
Short Circuits in the machine
That defines one way rules
Democracy darkened into the
days of the USSR
Tools
To fix those Defined as "Broken"
by another
Damaged vessel
Both sink
As bitter submarines
A beautiful invention
As a clown at the helm
"Listen to  this word"
"I have spoken"
I shot my torpedo at your star ship
Damaging your will
Right at its hip.
Unable to walk
You need me as your wheel chair
Unable to separate
The air is thinner and we both begin to suffocate
Now neither one of us is all the way there

I am Invisably Independant
A strong machine roaring inventive processes outwardly
As the manager, a friend, and a critic
Fails to see his damages making a dent
Into my side, that possesses the "Superman's Weakness"
The Kryptonite is My Charity and Sensitivity.
Does one use this to their advantage?
"Control this weakling and reap the fruits of his labors?"
No1
He does not know...as I become even stronger, inside..
I shall rise up and smack down his over-inflated pride.
He need not run me like a corporation
But need me as a friend
Instead of Bawling my soul out for Kiddyish mistakes
He needs to wake from his slumber
and Ill faded upbringing
And allow this bird
to start singing, freely.

The day turns to evening.
Quietness drapes over the land...
Only the sound of a water fountain and horns from traffic break the waves of stillness as which more action is what I crave.
Some one to share in my creative motions and my heart that beats for another to share this space with.
Now, as I look out my top floor window
As I see the sun lowering to mark late evening...
I think of you and I, united.
As through the visions I see in Day dreams
Make such lonely and quite nice more exciting...
I call out your name and create yet another vision of you
As someday, we shall be together.
And from my true and pure heart, you are hereby invited.

It is scary
That there are night mares which  lasts longer
when I am awake
Than when I am asleep.
I awake to find no one there.
Not enough change to just pick up my things and go.
I wish to find a group and a place
to which I have support on which to grow and keep on with my show.
I fear I am melting away.
As my dreams are happier than how I ever spend my days.
I force myself to push forward
Forging another path to a brighter future....
Maybe , tomorrow, a miracle can happen
and I can find a ride to a way, for myself, on the way in which to nurture.

A light shined upon my face
Strength to adore another without judgment
Cheering another after their current raised
Is a sweet flower
Upon their feet which I have placed.
Humbleness and balanced pride
I keep a steady stride
as to not walk too far to any side of the gravels
The shaded areas of jealousy and envy
Such sharp and sinister forces that cuts
up a person's brighter strides.
Talent is unique
As to are the levels of brilliance
I'm glad to not be the best
or to never be at my worst
Such visions of clear truth
sparkle in these eyes in which you might glance.

It;s my turn.
As my shoes hit the dirt....
In danger I seem to flirt.
It greets me every day.
I'm never out of it's path.
I smile a broken smile.
I see the tornado......I brace for it.
I'm in it's path I feel it's wrath.
I swirl upward.
It spits me out.
Even this storm can't handle the taste of me.
Friends leave me there beat up and scared.
I bleed, screaming, and can't you hear or see?
If I were to meet my demise.
As you look at my scarred face in my coffin.
Would you even feel guilt from this casualty
that you neglected and left parts of me?
Now my closest supports have died and or are gone.
Now I'm freaking out and at the same time growing numb.
Am I a wanderer? Or just plain dumb?
For it's my turn and I shall cover this story with gas,
light you with a match and watch, as I walk away,
and you are the one left to burn.

I want to touch your hearts.
I wish to cease the violence
from divided souls from which it starts.
Not one man is a saint
Nor is he the devil...
Let us all link our care for lives, together, as we stand
civil
Like the Dominos which may fall when a war shot blows
or punch is thrown
Starting a moment's impulse of angry repayments to start
without thought from the heart
we never seem to be able to finish what goodness we have started.
Here it goes
Like a skipping record.
The same events under new people and their own defined terms.
I shall take off the defective record and play for you
a sweet and relaxing record
that shall place clear minds and connect such
with their good parts of the heart.
If each one of us does such, in this world, we won't be the dead from which our souls have departed.
We live onward, connected, a stronger unit than when in the division.
If one by one, us good dominos, start a chain reaction
To our hearts, that great karma shall come back to us...
Like a boomerang
The world as a fortress of sweet and enjoyable unity
To everlast that odds of the struggling and desperate portions of fallen communities.

I shall fight to succeed...
A warming to those who seem to hold me back....
The is the promise... I shall proceed.
I have "done things your way"
For to long...
In the shadows... I have an iron will...
I have been studying you... to find this way...
To press onward......still..
Through your "smoke and mirrors.."
You thought you had me trapped in fear....
The "war inside of me..."
That such caused?
Why take such credit?
It shall be you that will see
see me clear
That I shall keep my passions.....
A better life "dream?"
Such will never die.....
"Keep this fashion"
Not in clothing....  such in soul...
After keeping me "under your control"
I shall rise up... at the last moment...
Take down your "magic show.."
and take self control
Of my life...
which shall soon be worth a fortune..
Stay with me? By My side?"
Or stay behind me,now, through your overwhelming blind pride.

Another winter and it is as cold as Jack frost ever did Bring
With an icy Bling
Jack laughed and he sang
A winter cold with signature ice-cycles as his calling card...
After the Joy of Christmas had come and it had gone..
The aftermath of such lie in the trash waiting to be hauled from your frosty back yard.
Three to four grooling months his vengeance is well played.
Until you plan and prepare through the warmer seasons
Until you can hit him in the cold spot
In warmth as you are the one who can now shout and to him, taunt.
Jack,frost, Jack Frost, He is our cold dead hand.
If he cannot get me I've broken his seasonal song and broke up his band.
Good ole' yoko uno was not a factor, here, to break up your band.
Jack, my friend, here's to my warmed environment
To you with the eager eyes sitting out in your cold
I hope your icy fingers break off on the **** you once chilled
as I broke your game and watched as IT WAS YOU who STILL LOSE and Grow COLDER!

Judge by knowing...
Growing like a tree ...
Such to form a branch to grow another friend..
Another Space to love...
Another space to judge by seeds you are sowing
Eyes can entrance...
Ears can deceive.
Lips Can Lie
Suspicion can cut down the sprouts that the heart's tree
took so much strength and time to grow...
Don't cut it with quickly jumping off the deep end...
Jump into warm waters...
Watering your heart's Tree to Relations....
After time and growing to yearn for the other parts of your seed
yearn for the right part.
which you have found...
Instead of quick needs filled upon desperate vacations.
Questions answer fears...
Time can be well spent or It can Overdraft your heart's Bank.
Shallow Pools can break the stem or branches of the life's heart tree
Which could need healing from becoming damaged
for many years
Take your feelings straight to the one you seek.
Clearly and consistently communicate.
Don't fear how the heart you seek to nurture your tree
and step back with brutal hesitation.
Become open as anything great which you look for in life
takes chances to gain...
Actions don't always speak and enact all the motives in a heart..
Break past your past and it's expectations..
Answer a calling..
The voice that says "Hello"
Glance into those eyes as you first become interested
in peering into their heart's windows...
Walk with them and openly share your life...
Step by step... the seeds are planted..
To grow or add to your heart's tree garden...
For branches that appear from the allowance

of such partner's interests.
Both mutually cutting a hole for planting...
Don't allow the storms to rain due to quick minded intolerance
Due to your instrument to open up life's relationship's sowing grounds
To remain dull......sharpen such with fresh ways interacting..
with a new start and a freshly sharpened knife.


.

I was recruited to fight in a war
Not overseas
However massive and ******
It was a war on our own land.
Dark people forcing darkness on the inhabitants
Now the clash has come
from those sick of the tolerance of violence
he sided with those true
and became a worthy combatant.
A shield of truth and a gun of brighter ways
Holds the guilty in the scope
as truth fires the killing shot
The reward in which they have earned
from crimes against humanity
on these conflicted streets...
Justice is what they have gotten.

After hectic waters have shoved this small vessel
to and fro
Here he relaxes
By the dock....To enjoy the calm , sunny days
with his crew who needed such relaxing moments,so.
Deeply to dance with girls they had  met at a local dance club
This captain shines his metals and joins the festivities
For his voyages are planned..
To reach the promised lands...
For him and his crew....
Of creativity, unity, and Eternity
As true sailors on Life's Rough Seas of Those
Misguided moments
Running into the icebergs of the misunderstandings..
The calm waters of tropical smooth runnings and relaxing pictures
Nights spent dreaming, sleeping, or sharing a drink and reminiscing..
No longer shall his inner storms leave him wrecked on some deserted island..
He keeps near his support
However, he adventures , at times, on his own.
He keeps his routes simple
However, his dreams are destinations enjoyed with his crew
A complex ending to a map written by his comrades
Smiling
He has fewer nights..reading such self written maps in the dark...
and He has rarely a reason to get Angry over Over-Though Mistakes
and evenings feeling sorry for himself...
Ship docked..
Wallowing in pity In dreary parks.
Keeping this wisdom not only his friends and acquaintances of wisdom shared with him
But, his lessons learned and newly found Wsidom
He know rules the sea with many.
Than a sailfish land of nearly nothing...this is not his destination..
However, a land of true fulfilled promises, something for everybody,
and such for himself....
A true kingdom.

Am I alive
Or am I dead?
Living in this Kennel
This old dog lives with dread.
They spend your money and tell you where and when you can go.
Your insanity is their Broadway Show.
Grab your popcorn
Grab your Lecture Books...
This time I am a broken actor.
One less entertainer
For your satis-factor
I tried to shine
But you refused to let me glow
I was a plant with no sun
How was I supposed to grow?
You have never had the time for me
Now you have one less jester in your court.
I refuse to live in this kennel
This old dog shall bite you if you come near
As I break
I have no fear
As this animal shall rightfully run free.

She's my Kitty Cat.
When I pet her,softly..
She purs.
Music to my ears.
When I'm scared or I am Lonely
She rubs against me, oh so gently.
She doesn't have to say a word.
she already knows.
How I feel.
So true to my words.
She cheers me, with her eyes, as she sees me grow.
Never selfish.
However, not quite an "open giver"
She knows how to give me passion
Shows the world her own unique  and  hot "fashion"
Inner Beauty
and some soft fir.
Watch us stroll down the road
Enjoying one another's company
as we push off
Life's gritty and heavy loads.

The harder I try
The harder I have fallen.
Trying to shine my "talented life"
Upon a world that knows no devotion. I cry.
Tears fall upon my chest.
As I try and fight off the "burdens" of insanity.
I try and reach out.
My face gets a slap
as if my heart were some ugly "profanity."
Where does one go when nobody answers?
You knock at their doors.
After a while
You walk away
As no voice returns
But echoes
Of your cries
As you walk down life's empty streets
More and more.

Questions rumble as I entered a room
In a dream all eyes poured upon me
I start my proud trade in song
However, the audience is deaf and blind.
Awakening
Same old feeling
"How do I escape to Fantasy Island?"
Clearing the grains of sand
that "Father Time" impregnated into his eyes
For untold reasons
The dreams are like aired reruns
from a transmission in in sleep
waking kills its beautiful treat
hang out all day
cooking in the sun
movies are fun to watch
acting is an escape
when you are not a "Superman"
Lost to Krypton weighing on his cape

I feel the cold energies of doubting eyes upon me ,there.
A place where one conforms to be accepted and to be accepted means
constant actions of the "Norm."
Logic is that there is no "Normal."
We define such from how we experienced life and how our parents
taught us what was "Husband and Wife."
They lead to be examples. And a great job they did.
However, clever as they are, there are closets for which their
"Skeletons" must have been placed.
Silence ,  from them,  a "forgotten  act from the morbid....."
Ways to ward Off People's "Cold Eyes..."
Watching them after they broke. what was to be,forever,  the "norm."
Me, I'm open. "True to thy own self."  
My own definitions.
Respectful of others space in which they define "Prudent."
Definitions of what "slot" you fill; "Celebrity" or "fan?"
"Worth-While"  or "Unneeded"  
"Peer,"Stranger," or "President."
These are all labels to define our places. On Stages in the Play of life.
Do we act in this "scene?" or do we "Wait" until our "Proper Casting" to read a certain line and act out another "script?"
Since I haven't the time to weigh "positions"  on  "what"  I am as an "equal?"
Or, "Strange Peer....?"
My kind heart and supportive Notions- I love to "earn" all ears to "Hear."
My calling to the masses - "I've earned a place in this script to act upon and to be heard..."
As a proven equal in this "crowd..."
Even as I sneak in from being a person from an "audience...".
Now on stage with the "Proven People" to "act with"
And who "earned a position"
to be  "heard"  from, with a heart that's earned it's right to be proud,
hearing "cheers" from the right "Show..."
Did I hide my "Skeletons?"
Avoiding to hide in cast-off "Silence?"
Everyone does. To help maintain an "order" from the "chaos" in society.
So, I obey the way to my "Label" in my "Place" in this "Crowd.."
I walk to and join my rightful life's "College" and "Sorority."
Until next time, when the "cast" is "called" to read the right "script"
My "position," in life is made  "clear," and my "way" is still quite cheerful and lit.

Lady Liberty's Tears

We were once spirited and life building souls
America was thriving

America was inventive
Lady Liberty stood tall , smiling

Shouting to the  world
how warm her flame 
Fired up a nation
sought on more than surviving

We were united people

We worked together and started thriving. 

Then fear, poverty, and misguided politics
Derailed a once smooth running Liberty train.
We made friends of other nations

Pushing our now colder voices and words

As lady Liberty cries and burns out her flame

We must end the quarrels with more than our neighbors

Our nation’s allies

We must live together and rebuild still great 
Neighborhood communities

Heal our cities

We must end the silly family fights

And become a united heart once more

This is where America and the world

Starts the path to true prosperity

And the globe reunites

I like to become intoxicated in Social-Media-Land
I love becoming a non reality
A delusion induced character
Brought by not wanting to value what was in my mirror.
I became a fake brand.
I became intoxicated with this new found and imaginary land.
I change my face
I change my voice
I checked everything over and made sure every word I spoke or had written was perfect.
As nothing ever is. A "Fantasy Island."
I dropped a coin into the wishing well.
I found nothing more than me becoming "Alice in Wonderland."
I was lost in a dream. I then wanted to wake up.
For the sake of my real life and it's future
became so unclear to me.
Breaking the shackles of being intoxicated as another person
the feeling of becoming universal god and a falsely made profit
I flashed back to the happiness of strength over burdens
The delight of being unique and unacceptable
in ways only that they Haters have grown to see in their eyes
Being stronger than they and bouncing their cold stares and words off my soul
I escaped Wonderland
I am one less lost soul swimming in their fish bowl.
I "wish you were here."
Where waters might not be always warm and clear
However, as lonely and hard as being the "freak out of the crowd"
That I appear to be...
It is a pleasure to be outside the screens of social media, at times,
As I am the stronger soul...One who is truly free...Me.

Look into my eyes and see my truths
Look at my style and see unique
Never place a label upon a rare an unique diamond
as the ones who place the names are the ones also being voted against in political booths.
To justify their wrongs they push the wrongs in your rightful ways
You become the guilty as those who pay and sabotage to be the innocent
are supplied with the power and funds on which bet to wager
on what weaker soul on which to plant the dirt
then the bloodhounds are set in your footsteps
to track down an accused criminal
Left winged birds can sing off key
However, they can not fly.
What happens with a corrupt or unjustly earned legacy?
With those on top who rig the games and sabotage the political polls
Their legend, with these damaged souls, certainly shall die.

What becomes of a legend?
He becomes a fairy tale..A Tall Tale... One That Grows thinner every passing day.
Until the truth blares out and the one who becomes the "story" goes off his deep end.
Why must one perish before his hard work hits his public's ears?
Why must scandal hype up the cameras and lights his way when one past day before....
He was a brand new "say."
Now comes those heavy run and false tears.
Where were the cheers when he was at his peek? At his start?
At his peek of performance when he broke out for his "Grand Start?"
Legends can live on, with life, as well.
Instead of "Death due us love his part.."
It should be.....
"Even until his death, then past, from his start do we love the sparks?"
Now we visit his grave in a cemetery park.
Now it is a marker of Bloated Tragedy earning fame. I'd rather put out this flame.
I'm living my start. Past this part... I shall "live and play"
rather than "Die" and be "Celebrated after the anniversary of his death day."

Sitting in silence
A happy thought pops into your brain
The scene is quiet
Don't be shy
Let out your inner lunatic
Let yourself laugh and become silly insane.
Walking the streets full of angry people
rushing to get nowhere
You don't have to be part of their world
Images haunt of a quiet white rubber room
Mickey mouse banging his head
smoking a blunt
you start smiling and laughing
As the angry start a half smile and let out a grunt.
The fire has been inside of you all the while
So slide down the sidewalk
And lose your mind in style.

Life is not a play.
Life is not a movie set.
No producers, no managers, and no teleprompters..
It is a new event day after day.
Nothing in our life forces are planned energies.
They flow,freely,through the universe.
No scripts to memorize
No songs to rehearse
Memories are of the only steadfast and long lasting unchanged parts of our souls...
We do not need other people to order us about
Tell us how they think we should be..
Judge us upon being a "fake"
on "their stage" of life...
No no.
They received their just tolls.
No, it's our turn to show ourselves off on the "fashion of truthiness and bright and loving hear lights"
We spin and walk on the cat walk...
As we "free flow" this moment..in time..
As the future has no outline and nothing to show what it shall depict..
In scenes and henceforth
Life, in itself, is a force that needs no script.

Where does a heart beat when all about it simply misunderstand
why it has been beating
what it needs to keep beating
and a direction pointed to a better time and place
where it isn't constantly battered and compared
"You haven't earned your space"
"You are one in a thousand trying to do the same thing."
However, the love for what you wish to do and create
From blood,sweat,and tears
it is a song that's hard to sing
years of perfection
Vocal practice
Before the created products are discarded as "Unneeded"
What about my heart frightens you?
Never the same as all the others
Never employing the same routine as the others
I am sick of being the one pushed out as the "sudden example"
to the flock
Where does one fill the emptiness without sisters and brothers?
Maybe a new fresh idea on the block frightens you since it might
"be the next best thing.. or maybe not."
One never knows unless chances are given
Without openness, the albatross has now a completed knot.

We must not need to define a "shelf" on Life's Display Case of
Importance
In order to get along and mingle

If we interact, right
Hey, this might be the "newest of Jingles?"

Open your hand and give a true chance.
Alike a sweat soaked Tango... Such a "Dance" is quite complex
In life, most things are a "complicated Dance."

Patience.
Sometimes the word is hard to even say.
When one moment..
When one  outcome....
Fuels the need to rush.
Instead of enjoying a slow and detailed way.
As The future is always uncertain...
Not even a Psychic on a hot-line can tell you a sure outcome for such..
The heat starts a boil....
Inside of our souls.
To quicken to an answer to our questions to "What?"
Like a child awaiting Santa on a Christmas Evening....
We  push until speedy answers become a crutch.
As we rush we create our own diluted outcome or result to a passion..
A finished product...
A Sealed Deal at Work....
To hear an answer "right away!"
We fail to see a more beautiful "finish line" as in the tale of "the Tortoise and The Hare"
Who race against each other in deep passion.
The Tortoise wins by being himself, "Slow and Steady."
While the Hare burns up the track and himself to powder
Due to his ill-faded "speedy line" fashion.
Rushing burns the future to a thin and diluted soup
As we allow the moment, instead, to slowly simmer and cook...
We enjoy the spoils of flavor as we follow the steps..
Enjoying the pages read when cooking up memories in
"Life's Cook Book."

Foggy memories
A dream or a nightmare?
Pain and stress...misery.
Whack...Whack!!!!
Give me the pills for the pain....
Hell, I'm a little quack!
I strike hard to make the ball a winning shot.
I sweat hard..giving life ..
all of the remaining strength that I've got.
Down the same old halls...every day.
A gallery of my life.
I smile at the visions.
For I've survived ....
I deserved a name plate...below the art
I survived over every hectic way.

City streets go both ways.
Aggressive traffic
Sometimes, Empty Lanes.
One must not cross until a space forms along the space of the day.
One looks both ways not to  just to stay safe, however, to see who's coming.
They stay alert, meet a new ride, and drive with new friends along distant travels and places.
Not every stop that's made will be bad nor shall it be good.
We **** the feelings of intuition , give a chanced called "Get to know the situation," and we return to our original path on life's highway.
Horns mark the way for it to remain clear as one drives on.
Sirens alarm drivers, around them, of a rushed need to be to help those in need.
A screech of tires, busted glass, a few misguided words, and the wrong thought about a moment's mishap can ruin the transport to friendship...love....family...even one's road's final destination.
we end up in the waiting room of the Roadway's Medical Center to catch our breath, heal, and to go on to some better destination and city.
We all have our favorite type of transport. Motorbike, Classic Muscle, Fancy British Luxury toys, and comfortable and meager wheels that are reliable and never let us down.
we determine the type of vehicle, that we like, just as we scout for those to fill our lives.
The moment brings them into our paths and the moment then defines where the trip shall go from there.
The longer you ride that certain way of transportation  to the ending of the road-trip in your life, the more destinations and different forms of motorcade do you learn to associate with and enjoy travel with.
Now you've reached the next destination on the next stop in your way of life. You don't have to have a limit to those you ride along with , in life's car pool.Just chose the safe and enjoyable caravans and bus-lines in which to hop aboard. It is  then when your hearts shall sing road songs that shall make your heart beat through your chest and the sharpness of a group to enjoy life wit, a sharp vision.A truer vision that cuts to your core like a sharp knife.

Red,white, blue, and grey.
Colors I enjoy each and every day.
Smells of barbeque.. Smells of the trees.
Wonderful welcomes to my senses
Mother nature sends...
Breathing in fresh and crisp air.
I look up at the clouds...
I enjoy the clouds forming their art
In the billows of cotton and white which I've enjoyed viewing there.
Dogs barking, children laughing, even the honk of a horn keeps a strong heartbeat in my chest as life , it's beauty, as shown around me... Keeps up the excitement to venture through another day.
As the miracles in my life energize me.
I'm truly happy and free.