This bar has seen the past as it has been washed clean by today.
Known the scars of fights past lingered in the moment only to  see it replay.

Old friends and past faces we've known together so many years now  I stand alone.
This bar is part of my soul as a ghost I remain long after my life and these doors come to a close.

To the raised glass and closing time dance .
Are waters have seen many a storm tomorrow will be no different my friends.  

Amber the whiskey gold held to light the pint glasses perfect hew .
Time has left us all fragmented time breaks the soul ,time is all that is the history of me and you.

A toast to the nights they paint magic without canvas my thoughts a evergreen signs of neon cast the best ******* shadows my dear.

This bar stands eternal a ghost as myself .
The fog holds mystery but none for you .

Closing time has come .

Cherish your thoughts for it's all we truly ever own my friends .

In  eyes  overcast  with regret.
We battled many storms.
To many togather to ever forget.

Two ships passing silently without  wake.
Still water memories  flow  gentle  as a dream.
When we pass from every past love we take.

Fail we have  but still we did try.
Tears can only wash clean.
The bitterness of this goodbye.

After the glow
there is only a spark.
She knew another.
As strangers we view thoose flaws as new
lovers kindle passions fire in that same old park.

She said I can"t say the words underneath
the sunsets  fire lit sky.
As burried the past only to her.
For my heart can never forget this goodbye


Just a write i did off the top of my head sorry
for it's  lack of talent.
they cant all be diamonds.

No drug on earth can match that which fuels the ego as fame.
As everyone wants to be someone and only some may be.
I spark my own urges and fueled my own flame far too long maybe this runs finally over, maybe I truly don't give a **** anymore to begin with.

As for the dues I've paid you
simply couldn't understand.
Broken body parts burnout relationships sleeping in the streets the backdrop was always there I need only to open my eyes to find a source of inspiration.

My footsteps cast as my shadow does loom I would pity those who try to follow but remorse never suited me very well.

And to grasp that faint chance.
I've just a moment and sacrificed many.
If you believe I am a parody and I'm to believe your one to.
Quicksand logic will always be a bitter egos demise, and I've long since passed the mark of any to sort of return to normal .

I played the stage as I played the audience fine-tuned my craft using it only as a weapon it soon became far more than I bargained for.
I'm tired, I am broken I'm all that which you probably believe and far worse.

It isn't for the lack of imagination it simply I could give a **** less.
Do not choose to be a chameleon to blend in simply to exist.
I stand out not to be fashionable but because it simply just who I am.

My road was carved through frustration and turmoil the homicidal chaos leaves little mystery care to challenge my point?
And though I certainly embrace my demise I certainly I'm not the fool who is imprisoned to a act.

We only know what others let us see, and the rest we simply fill in the blanks.

My dues have been paid in emptiness a skill forged in hell cast to leave the page to bleed.

The footsteps left behind are my own.
Make no mistake with anything in life somebody always has to get hurt.

She never said it was gone it just faded like a sunset and the light hasn't crept in yet.
Where did it go?
Was it the pill's the drinks or maybe a combination
of something we never cared to recall?

I walk towards the end as you simply walked away.

Nothing holds you better than the regrets through yet another empty hours night .
You drink to forget then you just somehow forget to stop .

Watch one to many a sunrise then repeat the cycle till one day your no longer here .

I'm not in denial of the truth I embrace it as once I did you .
And now I wait where others choose to live .

Catching a buzz and a one night stand in-between .
Painting the pictures that write the page in regrets and dead end streets it all goes to **** eventually why not have a smoke before the fires of your personal demons consume you .

I never cared for conversation's much to begin with .


And now I find little reason to disturb the silence to simply hear my own words spoken aloud .

It's definitely half empty in this case but at least it was a hundred proof  to begin with .

Never ******* yourself it was always a gamble from the start.

This page has been all I had when the nights seemed eternal and the storms seemed many.

It bled my truths .
It brought me those I loved,  and helped push them away as well.

I have rode the winds and crashed into the rocks .
Embraced self destruction captured every lie and bared far to many truths .

I guess this is all that's left .
So I will end it , where it began .

Now this page holds my last truth.

The bottle and old thoughts haunt me all the same
In whispers of what was and should never be did we lose our way
or just vanish as quickly as the night before the day?

So many times I thought of lines
now simply I cast shadows where the blank spaces do reside.
Tomorrow cannot promise so why should I?
Let the words hold there own where I never could .
We all have a cross to bear and me?
I prefer to simply drive in the stake

But make no mistake,
what's nailed upon
an empty cross
is full of regret and loss
and underneath a barren plain
is buried pleasure and sadistic pain
self recriminations and needless blame,
but all the same
we build empires of shame
to live inside as truly insane
we drink from memories
that stoke a flame
to burn eternally, assuring fame
and comfort in a well of regret
we drink to forget, tomorrow
was just a promise made to us
by those that sit at our feet
when they crawl upon our laps
we are beat, we are trampled beneath
our own demise, we hid beneath
our own disguise
and we expired, when we desired
surcease from our wickedness

As I walk a red card in my  jacket and miles of empty thoughts long cast aside
No words find solace were the demons cling to their vices.
All things decay as if to remind the living of the walk we all must bear

I find no guilt in my pleasures just more scars to bare in happiness to none.
Whispers of once was lay in empty thoughts.
I speak with a mouth full of razors all to eager to cut down the meek .
No words hold me in chains I simply but as I will nothing speaks clearly as a pause of silence.

And the old thoughts that linger to grow into rumors
Now they are all that is left of me .

Rumors of old bones that litter
the path to ruin are spoken by
those that whisper to dead ghosts
and kiss bloodless lips
inside crumbling passages
of age old keeps, on windswept
moors where bleeding eyes leak
tears weeping for something more

Down the streets cobbled with fear
slicked with garbage and the stench
of ever rotting verbiage,

Speak no more in silence, cry no more in penance of an oft abused
life that only walks alone under an
ever present thunderstorm of
howling winds and lightening strikes
and icy rivulets that trickle upon skin

This walk of  sin is where it begins .

Im.always waiting for the relapse like a spent sunset and far to overplayed song .
Whispers of what was and never will be .

Im not here now simply try again later for the side of the man you care to see.
Poems are simply pages filled and my stories are far more than cliffnotes to your day.

Play me out sweetheart another fix like all the rest .
Lets create the essence of the obscene let me erase it for my ego just the same.

It's always the elephant in the room i know it all to well for I lived it just the same.

Did it break you as once it did I?
Do we breathe to simply keep living like zombies no answer or direction does apply.

We left it behind to haunt us still .
Guess nothing stays burried forever .

I sit in darkness, soaked in Gin, I remember everything,
except all the things Tequila forgot,
I remember nothing except for the things left to rot

I forgot the darkest nights
most certainly in days light
I forgot you placed the drink in my hand,
is that how we ended up here last night?

A half empty glass we have mired our delusion dear
Do the stories just get better or do we simply fill in the blanks?
Trace our old lines again and again.
Weathered are my eyes behind a mask
It’s no place to breath but anything beats the grave.

As we recall the sunset from the shore it seems so far now
it is but a fraction of the truest sense and the most cursed fools delusion
a switchblades sting and you will remain my favorite scar?

Delusions are illusions with which we fool ourselves
with a magician’s eye and a sense of skill.
Sunsets upon a distant shore are our memories
retreating against our will.The switchblades knife is rusty and it's only hope is to scar.

Do you revere or revile me?
The empty bottles that lay between us ask for little.
I ask us for more!

Will I be your scar, the one you rub when you’re alone?
Tracing lines that cut so deep but set rigid, like stone?

Perhaps the open wound you created
when you picked apart our past won't heal as quickly,
and like the final drink we had together won't be our last.


Painted is the portrait so far from the truths we all choose to ignore
and now I simply understand are regrets than the echoes of a shared view.

When we break the heart do we find solace in a statue like existence?
We all spill the glass sometimes and a candles view dim will only reflect the shadows we've become.

Tomorrows a dream and the nightmares become a friend far more than this dance
I care no longer to stand and the ice won’t bare the weight of this ego's crash.

Let's skate the ice so thin it cracks beneath the weigh of pain.
Let's dance the tango of wilted dreams and find no shame.
Let the broken heart of shattered glass
be a reminder of our pain
but you and I, we share a common lust
we mix silently, oil and water
blending in the same frame

For from the page to the far corners of this empty floor we have made our choices
Now we understand past regrets in silent reframe

Never doubt the passion for the lack of fire it simmers a volcano underneath the illusion of emptiness and so we find are paths twisted yet always brought back to the same point.

We always speak in shadows what is known in light of day.

Our paths are gritty dirt, pretty split and intertwined
broken cobblestoned nights and sun baked days to which we can’t deny
Shadows that come to play hide the demons
we would once talk to, but threw away
when we attempted to revive a life we weren't meant for
Our answers don't lay at the bottom of the bottle
nor do they rest behind the closed door,
They itch beneath our fractured skin and spill their secrets on the floor
dripping from serrated cuts that pump a life full of ****** memories
the broken bottle stands as sentinel asking always for
One More...
Please?

Maybe we found our muse in a mutual insanity.
Laid bare the vein I question what lingers when nothing remains beneath?

This last round stands only for the night my dear for its clutches are but a moments embrace and an overcast view.
Tomorrow I can never promise what fate hands us by surprise.

Insanity is a fickle Muse
that's sips from a collapsed vein
breaking bottles against skulls
looking for an idiot to blame

Personally I think our Muse
is a Mistress that flogs well in the dark
Chaining our souls to our demons
never shining light on our demise,
Demanding we whip ourselves hoarse
prying opens the oysters
of our murky world spilling pearls of stone into a world so stark

No, the Muse of you and I is an unruly *****.
She chokes our memories and forces our pain
with a flick of her wrist

The page laughing at me the canvas cold and blank.
Winter filled room in the middle of june.
Why had my heart run a ground on such jagged shores.

Now I scavage for remains of my soul.
ragged I wonder would anyone remember me apon my return.
Would she stand smile apon face and regret in heart.

The page stayed empty for a reason.
They were all gone the great titles along with there writers.

Me the fool brave or foolish enough to  attempt the
impossible  with little to show for it.
A broken relationship and some bad tattoos  in
some  weird places.

To be stuck down in a  hollow .
Is fine  with suplies low and the truth a sober mind brings
time was ticking the false deadline was apon me.
And like a kid trying to cram in every answer on a school test.
I was stuggling  waitting for the teacher to say times up.

Hands shaking from the need throat dry  and a headache
that would last for a week.
Why had it always come to this  isolation.

Maybe it was the roads way of calling me back.
Like a lover calling me back to bed.
To entangle untill the mornings light.

Yet just like a passionet affair the struggle for the title
kept me trapped to this place for nights on end.
You cant grasp what is never yours its
like trying to see that sweet southern breeze.

Everytime you find  one with which your heart agree's
You find the titles taken.
life and love will always  bring you to your knees.


This is taken from what will be my first book
once through many long gin soaked nights is finally at it's final stages
and thank God cause it's been hell.
as of  now the title will be The Road Begins ?
Hell my friends if you can think of a better title to describe my writting feel free  to let me know   Always your slightly crazy  friend John Patrick Robbins

We sat there in a corner booth to old dogs sitting warm by the fire so to speak.
Except are fire was fueled by the warmth of the bottle and the friendship we knew
never would we cross paths again after today.

It's a strange thing to put another person upon a pedestal and for them to view you the same.
We had fought and laughed shared drinks and made scars forever we knew
the stories would fuel the legend or maybe just mask are *******.

Where you thinking about heading out to amigo.
I had dreaded these words for they were a prelude to a long farwell
and a permanent goodbye.

I really cant  say you know I always been like tumbleweed my friend.
Cast to the wind driven with no true direction.

Yeah well try to not let this **** consume you he said holding the glass just before he kicked
it back.
And as he eyed the skirt with a perfect pair a legs walking by .
I had to reply yeah well try not to let your vice drive you insane as well or get you shot
by some jealous husband.

I told you I've given the married ones up I'm strictly going with the young and single.
And I'm joining the priesthood pal.
Least you don't have to stop drinking.

A good ******* always seemed to have good come back dam the *******.

We had to laugh over that one it was always a contest like two brothers one always
had to out do the other.

Well my friend I said.
If ever you need me well tuff **** cause I wont be there.
Yeah I figured that much he replied.

You know Gonz I got to admit you really are a *****.
Yeah but least I'm a honest one.
True that bud he laughed as he replied.

There  was no goodbye after we closed the bar down.
We just laughed off the ******* while masking are own.
See you **** for brains.

What you getting all sentimental on me amigo?
**** no besides least now my bar tab will be semi normal.
Well you know you just cant put a price tag on a good time or good conversation .

My old friend looked at me as always in a state of this guys half nuts yet always had a hard time fighting off the laugh.

Well Gonz I'd stick around but I got a thing called a life and all.
Yeah and I got to head by your sisters place and you know how she hates to be kept waiting .
How's that going ?

Real good since your mom and me broke up.

Well tell your wife and my kids I said hello and dude do you mind not coming home early anymore I mean I just having my fun time cut short.

My bad dude oh yeah and sorry bout the clap.

I finally got him on that one as are verbal *** for tat never ceased to die.

He what's a few STDS  amongst friends.

We parted on that note and as I viewed my breath a dragon's smoke chased off into the corners of the  night.

You just had to truly admire a ***** who could roll with the punches.
No wonder he liked me so much.

Adios brother  I  hope life finds that which you could never grasp here.

To a very good friend of this very well known past .
Sometimes you realize what's a loss to one is the gain of another.
And me I just remain the same charming ******* I always was to begin with.

                                       Stay Crazy.

Gonzo

So many truths do embrace a gentle teasing lie.
Im far worse than you may invision a monster of rampage and gentle nightmares poetic reprize.
Do you ever wonder fact from fiction or simply never care just as long as it so does entertain.

Bleed the well to starve the creative fire will it ever make sense again?
She 's always a muse but seldom a creative force my words my own share the glory and you'll
lose sight of the shore.

To many drink's and lost night's lets cast them aside once more in a one night stand passion
Let us never cross paths again.
You'll only see me in shadow so take the best and try to never recall what was left befor sunset called it a night.

Broken dreams gather to make a soul bitter and this **** I just cant stop.
Please understand it's never been a choice dear heart.
A hotshot  taken in vice and a final fix.

We never cast the stones we belive will be returned.
A dance will cost you more than you could ever understand.
And once to I saw the forrest for it's tree's now I simply cast blind regards to
thoose I cant truely recall.

They pass me by as so should you.
Sweetheart will a moment cast a delusion I cant be?
Old times were the hell are you now?

So gather your thoughts call me the fool for refusing to care.
Soon I will erase it just the same final round join me toast nothing and old friends
no longer here.

Soon I will carve that place eternal as a nights velvet harsh as dreams that once
I belived were mine.
Sunsets always hold the pain as nights hold my heart.

Forever doesnt seem all that long to me.

Take from it what you will.

I could never pen the words without the inspiration.

You have always been the  silent partner behind the madness and I know many will read this wrong.

Sweetheart I am a world of trouble and a sea of regret .

But your presence amongst the insanity has remained my light no matter how lost I was you remained.

And no words will ever repay the debt I certainly owe.

The voice that laughed on the other end of a conversation when I found only darkness instead .

I owe you everything as now I find my place .

I know words are my path and you knew them first .

We are all lost in some way but no words can do justice to the
person that I know beyond this page .

Sweetheart I seldom let anyone in but we know the truths beyond the storms in this life .

This debt I can never repay but these words I can certainly write.

This is what I leave to you.

The soul is my work and this yet another goodnight.

No flowers to wither and no fruit to spoil.

Trace it's more than words but all I can give for now .

Hold this true from a joker and a best friend that lingers in conversation that which can so easily be cast upon this page.

A wink and a thought shared on yet another long distance call.

No words will ever describe what you mean to me .

I guess I will say nothing and just let the credits roll .


We know are truths and that's good enough for now.


Sincerely


John

Two strangers pass both moving in seperate directions.

Eye's tell  the stories and give a glimpse like a windows from a highways view

view apon a cold night's drive.



Giving only a view of what seconds can make us belive.

Two eye's meet a vision of a story not worthy of the first

act of play.



Perfume apon the wind.

Her scent of jasmine blessed  a stale evenings breeze.

Two strangers pass speaking only a well ment hello

but nothing more.



Thoughts as they are give hope in a truely hopeless sense.

Two strangers pass then fade into there live's.

Never to meet again.



And with a times movement the moment does all but vanish

from thought.



Two strangers passed who once held each other as lover's

of secret with passion's covered in perfect dellusion.



This night two seperate directions set the stage of my lives eternal

traggic play.



Two strangers passed to give what once  burned so

very deep.

As fools these same two strangers gave it all away.

Maybe im alone in my views maybe just bitter from age.
The road a fond memory like a old man who sits dead in legs yet giving thought to only wind
of times blonde hairs and scent did linger jasmine of his thoughts is sweetest when reflected by window so far from that time.

Now im like that man unable to run so here i sit lost to life a stranger to all even myself.
A cold drink on a honey suckle laced backpoarch.
If only my turns were diffreent maybe id know happiness i never been able to grasp unto myself.

But poets thirst for pain and self destruction is a well unfilled no lifetime could quench.

Alone I understand reason a monster ive grown to call myself.
In ways ive grown only to speak in pages none choose to read yet many can grasp.
Ive seen wars fought internal to cast shadows over the most clear sky.

Is it not time for a seaside eternal rest?

In pain I find logic sadness my eternal home nothing can mend broken roads but only help to build
more isolated paths.
Please i beg never to choose my road for it was never my to choose.

Tommorow will find tears in what never was todays reality.

It never was ment but it sure felt right.
All my hopes have finally found rest.
With motions a roar shall you recall my liftime based
apon one single night.

View me a pawn so mention the fool.
Judge only your actions and always remeber the voice silent in rage washed clean of tommorows misery for which iv'e had my final share.

Two strangers grasp togather all of nothing why must we question all that never can be?

                    The sunset holds promise red in color painted in thoughts
                    may one at least be held in happiness of farewell to me.

My road was always headed in a direction we all understood it was bound to happen sooner than later.
Why follow when I had no other choice.

Underneath nights stage in a gentle breeze soliace is such a peacefull fade.
What is taken shall never be replaced.

I took a walk to see.
All the queens down market street turning just for a fix .
The ******* of the day doesn't matter when you only live for the score.

Greetings from the gutter.
Go wash yourself clean as I embrace it's decay.
Least I know my place art is never a safe bet sweetheart does  his touch still make you cringe?

Meet me at the bar and we will get lost together.
Goodnight to the fakes I have little more to give.
Goodnight to you all it's ran it's course shall we just let it die?

To the designer junkies who's prison resembles a palace I prefer the chaos of my own reality keep your distance for your ******* need not apply.

The cutter scars I  prefer to some airbrushed queen your flaws are your perfection were all ****** up so embrace the truths and ignore there lies.

Goodnight my friends my buzz has began to fade .
Life is a bruise beautiful in it's story .
Never hide the flaws for art is the biggest train wreck of them all.

Cheers

I seldom need people and being they are seldom around it sort of balances itself out .

Friendships are like flowers they take to much care to keep them alive.

As for me.
I'm a cactus a total ***** .

The neon kisses the sidewalk below embracing strangers as they pass
in all directions none seem towards home.
***** sidewalks and the slums splendor Im a gatekeeper of despair and hard
luck just living for the bells chime to echo from the counter.

Drunks and ****** gather within my confines the outcasts of the night my people
seldom will I ever know more than a signature upon the page.
Moths drawn together attaracted by neon light.
Tommorows not a promise so embrace feeling and grow numb in reflex for now.


Are we not twisted from exposher numb from the streets brutal truth?
I count the hours a television for companion a bottle a often short staying vistor
who's welcome till the hangover's regret.

Some pills to drive my thoughts and a fresh *** of coffee to fuel my engine
tIme kills even the most unfaded of us all.
And through the night they gather some to escape the cold others for a quick escape
or fast **** to forget as if in a Halloween costume soon they'll return to there true act
of a life.

Embrace as lover's when there nothing more than roomates hey kids were doing great
you coming home for Christmas this year?
And so they like well trained actors reprise there roles.

But i see there mess allnight I collect the rejects nothing more but fragments
glass that reflect what they wish could never be.
If only we could rewind.
But life's highway cant be retraced so on we roll.

I  collect there money and take down there names the keeper of memories
tattered wings fly none the less.
As for the women the far away stares are but shared thoughts of a misery
more bitter we drink from the same passed down glass.

Some things just don't have to be said to be understood.
The nights my watch my vices fuel me for yet another round.
the neon signs my beacon And the moths glide to flame with the turning of the switch.

Were all ****** up but seldom can some show the flaws .
I embrace them unspoken please sign here.
Tommorows walk we'll pretend to not see for we all need to feel
invisible sometIme.

The end of my shift bids farewell to my collected chaos tired we've become in constant
recollection the light is off for now.

When you know the answer then why wait for the question?
maybe it was just to make her squirm in that last sense of right I knew all that was wrong.
She knew it would hurt and so she avoidng the words.
Hiding her own happiness  to allow me my dellusion tinged misery.

At the table the candle slowley burned casting a glow only
causing the shadows to stir.
We spoke more in silence than in words.

My male ego feuding with itself.
Yerning to cause the pain that was already
eating at me  secrets  burn a hole in the rational mind.

You ***** I imagined yelling  causing only me to appear more of a fool than  I already was.
But the silence said it all.
Sliding the  drink aside looking into the eyes  i could never truley understand.

And in my loss i saw the beauthy and saw her emptyness
with me she would only know.
the moonlight reflected apon the water is but  a reflection
of what we need only look up to see.

It takes love to say goodbye.
as outside in the nights air  we needed that last embrace to
remind us of the emptyness  that we shared.

Into her eyes  I gazed as within her soul I spoke.
No false hope tasted within  that kiss.
As paths part life does change and the chapter is closed.

The happy lie tempted my heart as she vanished into
her life.
Perfume cast her scent as the pen kissed the page.
the ghost's off memory haunt me eternal.

But never was  is my life.
As my love yerns more for what her's could be.
  
The darkness my home  always tempted with the
promise of light.
Closed is that fragment of heart.
As the candle's apon the table slowley kissed the darkness
as trail's of smoke  trace the scene.

I knew it was over  befor  she spoke the final words.
But no matter the experience  nothing.
Prepares you for the  hell of waiting  for goodbye.

The sun was bright and the breeze was nowhere to be found.
I sat alone but that wasn't a bad thing.

The peace I needed was not what a average man desired .
Most of those I knew had lovers , wives, family's , jobs that paid well and destroyed there souls all the same .

I had no responsibilities some thought this wrong.

I had once had a woman.
I in truth had known the comfort of many.

I loved one she no longer thought the same.

I never settled for something else when I could have that which I desired .

I didn't know freedom we all have our boundaries.
But sometimes alone in the silence I knew a peace few ever could .

I had the page and that was good enough for now .

Now if only I had a cool breeze and a cold drink then you probably wouldn't be reading this.

For life is always best lived not written about.

This was simply a pit stop and nothing more .

Cheers.

Must be slightly crazy and have  the  marbles to fill the spot of
a semi sobber  madman called Gonzo.
Must be good at  starting **** and keeping people laughing.

Most be mildly atractive and  really good looking
with the lights off with a buzz.

Must be willing to comment on poems and say cheers.
must be able to pass out behind a bar and write misspelled gems on bar napkins

And most of all to be the one to make people forget
there problems for awhile and share the spirts of wild turkey
can you replace  Gonzo?

If your crazy enough to try
Then step right up and reply.

Tangled up in the sheets man that was fun.
Yeah id stick around my darlin.
But the train's a waiting and so I gotta run.

Tommy  and Phil  will be at the dinner waiting with ready ear.
***** the coffee darlin.
I preffer a smoke and a beer.

The waitress sat staring at me as I sat lost
without a clue.
She said thought you had to leave town.
memories get hazy but she reminded me with a swift
kick oh **** darlin was that you?

Sometmes it's not so easy to recall.
Precious memories shared.
In a nightclubs bathroom stall.

Hey it was a perfect moment amougnst many.
Sure I recall your name.
It's Rebecca  Sandy  okay I wouldnt have guessed Kenny.

Sometimes it"s awkward  hitting  on a chick only to
have her reply but I thought we were threw.
Maybe i should lay off the *****.
Cause im really getting tired of asking
was that you?

I cast my words away like children cast stones over dark waters on a summer's sunset soon faded.
Torn between a direction none with many promises of hope but surely chaos in hand with devil's grip.
One is never good enough and twelve is but a taste of a speeding train soon to derail.

My message is a as murky as the  air that swirls in his barroom of empty ness I call my existence.
Tortured genius and drunken buffoon often share drinks of a sandy nature in an oasis of torment.
Beaten in thought and charred in reason I'm seldom at home in this crowd.

Stones that skip often no matter the distance sink into the dark waters
of empty ness.

We are moments shared in logic of other's shattered in fragments.
No attempt seems to clam my efforts only drown my hope.
It's written upon the page will you ask or simply ignore ramblings in
a staged tragedy. I seldom seem real.

Stones were once part of boulders aborted by mountains.
So after the fall what is left but fragments?
Maybe I'll pull it together if only for a moment.

I'm slipping in sanity and drowning in the depth of a hollow existence mocked by my own words
like a prisoner left too long within the hole.
I shout only for my voice's comfort.

To long I've rambled I've begun to sink.
A sunset's embrace is but a epitaph of envy in a gravediggers diary and I am but a blank page.

I had finally broke through on a small scale the words were selling .
I found less and less reason to find outside jobs to support myself anymore I drank as I pleased and slept in late .

I was amongst a few but we seldom if ever crossed paths .
We knew we existed but when you step from the playground to the battlefield there is a change that comes over you I cannot explain unless you are there .

People became less and less a concern of mine .
Those I gave a **** about had either died or left long ago.
To gain anything you must be willing to lose everything .

The person you once were must die .
Maybe some found it easy .
They scribbled some words down found a fool to publish it and struck gold .

But fairy tales weren't my style and I had reached the finish line empty and broken .
But I had reached the ******* ! , And that is  all that truly matters .

I thought of those that doubted me .
I thought of the women with whom had shared my bed .
Most thought I was insane and for some that is what drew them to me .

That drive was always there .

I remember sitting in the dark with one such woman .

"Even when your happy you seem so deeply sad inside ".
She said to me her head on the pillow .
As we looked into one another's eyes.

"I'm always thinking sweetheart it's just my nature'.

"Please just be happy baby everything is going to work out I promise ".

We kissed she laid her head on my chest and drifted off to sleep as I counted the demons of my past in the shadows .
They lingered like smoke rings in the air.

I knew are paths were destined to part .

Promises are for fool hearted children not bitter old men as I.

She found another and I found my place amongst those who grasped what few ever could .

We were guarded to others .
Insane to many for we chased a illusion and turned it into our existence .

It was a scene of emptiness and regrets we erased from the simple readers view .
And as for me I bleed the truths of my past upon every page making it seem like art fooling everyone but myself.

It was a fight to remain afloat yet I swam with the sharks and thrived amongst the few .  

I gave up everything that ever mattered to me.
And was a stranger now to even my oldest friends .

We were are killers for we had stepped on anyone who dared get in the way .
Never believe me to be the victim for I made my choices and now
I sit at the table eager to reap its rewards .

It's never a gift it's work plain and simple .
You clock in bleed your soul and bust your *** .
learn to smile at rejections and keep moving no matter how many times they try to break you.

What was once a child's escape is now a fulltime hell.
And I paid my dues in blood and heartache followed by vices that continue to consume me daily .

When you find yourself here, If this is truly for you remember as you ache from the pains of a life lived and a heart shattered not to mention a mind just a shock treatment away from the asylum .

You wanted this.

The view is never the same from murders row  .

He stepped into the bar like a refugee finally hitting free land.
The cool washed over him as inevitably everyone turned around to see who was coming through the door.

You always saw people come through here during the summer the marina drew them in like flies to honey in this stranger was no different than the rest.
What can I help you with pal I asked knowing full well what his answer would be but hey it's my ******* job all right.

As I'd expected he was just here launching a boat .
The weather was perfect the water as smooth as glass but this man wasn't  out for enjoyment as I can see out the window at the dock his family waiting impatiently for him to get his *** out there and get this little family get-together on the road so to speak.

Want a beer bud , I asked.
Man I ******* wish might make this trip a little fun actually he said in a he wasn't really joking kind of manner.

It's always good to see someone stripped of their ***** a person who works there *** off all week only to be tortured just a little bit more on his off time maybe  that's why never had family or maybe I was just a self-centered ******* you probably agree with the latter.

So you off with the family for a little boat ride huh?
Yeah man I wish I was sitting here in this ice cold air conditioner drinking a even colder beer **** it would be nice, he said as no later did his new mother  better known as his wife opened the door.

David come on were  waiting so  get your *** in gear, The high-pitched speaking banshee yelled looking up at a room full of drunks in a repulsed manner such a charming woman no wonder this man had a look in his eyes like he rather chew through his own wrist then set sail with his charming wife and already bored and over it children.

I'm coming Gloria he replied as he looked back to me and rolled his eyes.
She slammed the door as she stomped off like a little child who'd been denied a toy from a store.

The man paid his launching fee  as he turned to leave I told him to wait.
As I poured a stiff double bourbon placing it down on the bar in front of him.

He looked at me, puzzled I didn't order that.
No my friend but you dam sure need it and I said to him.
Well I can argue with that one he took the shot kicked it back like a man wandering the desert who just discovered a oasis.

Hey man you know of any places out there on the sound that got really good views he asked me as I poured him another double.
Just then a just of age brunette walked to the bar in a pair of tight shorts and a  snug top and leaned over the bar hey there I'll have my usual she said shooting me and the stranger a smile that I'm sure had gotten her more than just prompt service before.

The poor sap stared at this young woman like a prisoner seeing some half naked young thing driving by in a convertible waving to him as he stood on the other side of the fence.

Well amigo as for the water I can't really say but from where I stand the ******* view is outstanding.

The guy took one last shot and headed out the door and as the launched his boat he nodded his head as he shot me a look like **** I wish  I was staying at the bar.

I just nodded my head and turned my back.
Yes for some the white picket fence the dog out in the front yard shtting all over their lawn screaming kids and wife who greet you every day when you get home and secretly plots to poison you or **** you in your sleep.

Yes that delusion cast dream may seem like a stable paradise for some.
But viewing the beautiful wicked little creature across the bar seemed a far better evening than one spent in a nonstop ******* purgatory.

Cheers stay crazy

Gonzo

My father worked the plant as
his father befor.
We worked until are hands bled and
are backs were sore.

History we made and many fine men spent there lives
in this very place.
Founded the union.
we are the backbone not a copperate
face.

Didnt bat a eye just said goodbye
catching the first outta town bus.
They saved there over payed *****
but what about us.

The working class people who gave there
sweat and tears.
A town inwhich the factory was built.
Old and young share bitter reflections over
stories passed down through the years.

More than jobs left with the closing
of the factorys doors.
Pain echos from broken souls.
it comes into are very essense seeps into the floors.

Years of memories gone without a
fuss.
They crunch numbers but were people.
You saved a billion but a whole town
ask's what about us?

The magic doesn't exist between the sheets or is herd in the sounds of a drunken night whatever it was it has surely died.
Long since been taken away with the tide and I like so many others simply pick the bones of the greats clean.

In hopes to capture the essence I simply repackage the old lines as something new burning the candle at both ends existing a reject of today  and a connection of what never was .

I am the *** in the street.
The fool in the cell drunk out his mind yearning only to howl at the moon to hear the sounds of my own madness .

I'm the burnout ,I'm the drunk who is all to happy to be left alone I need no shelter the storm is a friendly reminder .
The chaos lets me know I'm alive .

The burn kicks me in the *** and pushes me to another high I never needed the scene for I find company a burden and my own demons guide me for better than any you may know .

The candles flame cast shadows but never blinds the few who understand the battle for what it is.

The junks all the same just new names and the same train wreck.
The arrogance of youth cant touch the heat of the bitter old fool.
The ice in the glass and one last call to remind me it's fade until the next.

I may me be a throw back to another time .
But a slurred voices words still my own hold there weight .
Trends and tricks styles suited to please are best left to the clowns who seek acceptance from the page .

Sometimes you just have to stagger a bit to know your alive.

What I want for christmas dont fit under that
tree.
Cause it dont involve to much shopping.
Just very little clothes a warm bed and you and me.

You can warp yourself in a bow.
Well share some special holiday cheer.
Over the bed is the perfect place to hang the misletoe.

What I want my dear ya dont have to buy.
Have Ibeen good all year.
Well honey I did try.

Why miss claus I never knew you shopped at
fredricks of holywood.
Spike that eggnog turn down the lights.
we'll try to keep it a silent night
but I dont think we could.

Baby I want the same pressent every year
and for that matter why not every day?
Im just in the holiday spirt what can I say.

Yes from santa I expect a lump of coal.
Makes me wonder why santas so jolly.
Hey I wonder do they gotta ******* at the north pole?

What I want for christmas is a bottle of wild turkey
and you in my bed.
Yes it's more like the ******* mansion.
Than sugar blums dancing in my head.

So my wish for this christmas to yours and you.
keep these holidays happy instead of crazy pulling
out your hair listening to Elvis singin bout a christmas
so blue.

They say write everyday.
Put those words to paper before you lose them.

I say.

If your words are lost so easily they were nothing more than a mental **** to begin with.

I say .

Live without writing see the ocean at sunset bask in the existence without giving a single thought of capturing it upon the page.

Don't ever fear losing something for when we fear loss all we do is waste are time that we have.

They say many things all directed at keeping you back.

I say **** them all.

Cause any person worth there salt in this life.
Isn't sitting on there *** handing out advice like some curbside therapist.

Life is the only teacher you ever need.

Just remember advice comes cheap.
And opinions are just like ******* everyone's got one .

Cheers

A liar a ******* a friend and enemy all rolled into one.
A fool with a wreckless sense.
A dreamer who's life rest ready to be void at the end of a gun.

The losser who's past speaks of no future clear.
The uncertin madman who seldom is ever truely here.
The man's lust for the road.
A still frame dessire cast in a black and white play.

To many fights to little scars.
To many reasons.
To less bars.

The grey in a was young  head.
My time is past half  is already dead.
The bitter truths  and well ment lies.
The wolfs heart under a devils   disguise.

Stories unwritten and some yern never to be told.
A winters bite in a glimmer of passion.
My place  gone from the illusion  ive loved so well.


The mirror reflects all you'll never see.
The mirror lies to all.
But never hides it's fatal truth from me.

Its the end I never cared to write the distance to great and still within my reach.

My road now is traveled alone and I simply check still to see if your there.

The mind is the worst prison of them all
all
My thoughts far stronger than the iron bars I view the outside world has become a stranger now.

I know my truths and see your path separate .
A man can only take so much and I have died many times only to return a little  less than what I was before.

Nothings left now tell me where we go from nowhere ?

Another midnight drive looking for what I can never find.
Old pictures captured emotions I just can't stand to bleed these lines.

Maybe it catches you when none other can see.
And the scar we bare together .
You view alone shed a tear and recall .

All I know  is my page is coming to its chapters close.

We chased many a sunset kid.

And I am left with nothing else to say.

Another rainy night a lost emotion and a dependable vice did the train simply pass in the night leaving only a smokestacks embrace to the moonlit sky .

A single scar in a ocean of bad choices the naked view and the want is not need can we build from the nothing we are I lost interest and you simply lost the desire .

Passion is a infection that often is cleansed with time .
Old fools often resemble a mirrors reflection don't ask for what I cannot explain just be the person you no longer are and I will fade for now as well.

In steady rhythm together and so easily apart.
Salt water I recall the fantastic buzz by the ocean before the storm .
And now we are left only with this .

Its a perverse ending a dying flame .
I lost a time and you just simply a thought.
The page turned and we found a different story altogether.

Sometimes I think about viewing those pages deep within you.
Sometimes when it's dark and I'm alone.
Then I recall how I came to be here to begin with.

And I simply pour another drink and let those thoughts die with the passing night.

We are all shadows of are own choosing.

I looked at the room  broken bottles  blood fragments of clothes.
maybe a tooth  from somebody not fast are to drunk to get outta the way  of a conversation turned bad.

The juke box had almost  made it threw  but it just had  to
play that one song that caused  it to become a target  
for a flying cue ball.

And I herd someone speaking to the toilet I thought maybe
I wasnt that hungry after all.
As to what caused the  riot slash  the human tornado of fun I cannot say
But in my opinion that jukebox had it coming  always  playing the wrong songs at the  right time no one likes a *******.

And that drag queen could sure throw  a mean left hook.
While looking fierce and lip sinking to madonna at the same time that my friends take true talent .

Seems as though  the register had went on vacation  but they
left the wild turkey and pretzels  thank god  happy hour was almost apon us.

And theres nothing worse than telling a proffesional drinker as myself
theres no snacks  it's like tellinga kid theres no santa claus.
And that big fat guy in the red suit  with his little dwarfs  
were really just some of momies friends.

I always wondred why santa was so into  getting the crap beat outta him
by a woman in a latex outfit calling herself mistress Claus.

Yes coffee always made things better mixed with some  of  my personal corn whiskey  yeah grandpa   may went insane and herd voices from drinking the stuff  but at least he always had someone to talk to.

As I looked at the chaos that was my headquarters  memories  came to me in a flood   the booth were I   met  my first wife.
that same booth were i caught  her with my best friend and worst enemy  and santa  i swear he gets around.

So much for online dating dam you napster.
I should just stick with street walkers  and circus people.

And I think after  my tweenty first DUI  
that it was good i never had a license to start with.
cause i really hate losing anything.

It's a shame about my mind.

So really other than this little get togather turned riot turned  
love in turned back to brawl  turned into
big kid slumber party.

It was after the jukebox had to put in it's two cents
that it all turned to ****.

For nothing kills the mood worse than a bad song
at the right time.

Love  always  Dr Gonzo

Ego was the monster that drove you from my arms or was it just another's charm.
It wasnt poetic simply one lights fade to yet another act in a much to dim lit sidewalk's scene.
If you go I wont care so many bitter words stand are refuge of pain togather we shared
it if only for a moment.

Maybe it was a nightmare made possible from a dream.
Maybe it was nothing more than a glimpse at what was never to be.
I closed that door now it seems a shame to view these scars yet once again.

Please dont ever let me leave you.
I recall  you asked one of to many fargone nights embrace
I lie to say i could never recall.

Why did it seem like promises were empty as broken hearts games of the grown remain
evergreens of childs play.
Alone I allow you to invade my thoughts one last time.

Sunset from the shore always seemed empty just like are time togather.
Why must you haunt me still.
Watercolors fade still I recall that embrace.

Farewell my friend.

Pain is a burden to you no more.


Sometimes a turned shoulder  is all thats left of a deadend street.

The room was packed in a kinda vacant almost like my mind way.
People posting words most spelled right most all  deep with big words which I really didnt understand.
Dam you kindergarden why didnt I pay more attention !

I was deep in some sort of cult meeting.
I belive people in that third world country called Canada people
call it a poetry reading.
You here to share your work sir?

the woman asked in a strange way unlike most women she didnt seem to be armed with anything but thoose dam tassers were getting smaller and smaller everyday but hey it isnt how big your tasser is it's how
you use it right girls?
Im know im not right.

The grand dragon or queen and owner of the cult approached the mic with a lingering want in his eyes
he gripped the mic firmly in his hands and from the way he handled the mic i could tell this was a man who enjoyed holding a mic in his hands hmmm must be playing for the other team like Green Bay Packers.
But enough about the man for who's name I cant mention or i'll be thrown in the princeple's office yet again.
And no man should have to face that *** dungeon by themself or at least without being paid first.


Hello poet's welcome to are open mic night he said in a very manish like Justin Bieber tone.
Oh baby but enough with the forplay children.

One by one the group said there verses covering many subjects most which were about fairy tales
like love and men who put down the seat after taking a **** duh who ever does that!?
And as these hampsters went through there woe's and tales of  lakes and long walks on the beach many had to question on such a deep level.

What the **** was ******* up semi insane ****** with a heart of gold like myself doing the **** here?
Im kidding im not a ****** I never charge.

And now fellow poets id like to welcome a very special guest.
Please give a warm poetry welcome to notorious black sheep of the site
one word can only describe him the man the mith the ******* who's so long winded he'll
put you into a coma Gonzo.


Without wasting time to speak utter nonsense in a utter crap style
Drew how we miss you.
I stood befor the group.

The silence a strange sister indeed many looked and i could tell what they thought
Whos this long winded *******.
Okay that kinda hurt.

I took a nice long breath of air in looked to the cult leader handed him my drink .
And began.

Poetry what can I say about it ?
Why did I ever start writting?
You may belive it was to voice the inner struggels of daily torment to give art to chaos.
Yes indeed.
Ahh **** folks im kidding i just did it to  make chicks think i was deep and its the only sport ive played where being a drunk is just a added plessure

Hey we can express are pain or just party are little drunken arses off
Me I only drink twice a week.
Weekdays and weekends.

Sure I could have come here been serious uptight never cracked a joke or mispelled anything cause i was having a few social bottles of whiskey with a like garnish of acid but what fun would that be?

Look everyone needs to laugh and every class needs clown just like every town its *****.
And every village its mispelling  idiot!
A voice said interupting my epic speech theres always a smart *** somewhere
but hey that was a good one ******.

Mr Gonzo is there any advice you can give us to make this write any longer?
Why yes young little hampster.
Always carry plenty  of cash for the strippers write more about drinking and *******.
And most of all Stay Crazy


Oh yeah and if your parents like your writing  it probaly *****.

And from the hushed voices i could tell i had touched the young minds but not in a weird avoid uncle Charlie and his nonexistant candy bar in the pocket kinda way.

It was more like uhh what the **** is he on and I hope insanity isnt catching cause i was
sitting next to that perve kinda way.

And so like a mad hatter or a kinda weird guy dressed like one at a all you can eat buffet
I was off.
And as I  put the pinto to the wind I herd the   applause
As that person for which we do not name said.
And finally that twisted freak Gonzo has left the building

Old words empty page so distant we were.
Myths of logic the clouds loomed heavy I bask in the rejection as my flames have burnt themselves out I fear.

No chapter written, the end yet a scratch .
We spoke in riddles only to forget the reason now I find less ******* in are lies so long I have forgotten are truths.

Dark scenes no light from this shutter so does escape the day burdens of are nights cast stones to a soon to be outgoing tide .
My words the ghost haunted only in shadows sometimes we must bury are dreams only to see nightmares through.

No pain me breath in a faithless  embrace .
I no need for the stories so I will simply close the book.
Tomorrows a promise to the few and a reprise of extinction of my thoughts tonight.
Hate what you will never grasp I simply have grown to ignore it all the same .

A demented thought sometimes beats a million well intended lies.
Place your bets when the smoke clears I'll be there a little less left of the fool you once thought to know.

In the wreckage we stood in the moonlight now shadows we've become chase the rats away from the bones .
To many times I have chosen to exist a shell of the canvas can you still recognize what I no longer see myself?

We can **** in passion and thrive only within lust.
We can exist for today only to yearn for a image of what was never are past.

It will all have to fade sometime my dear .
Maybe we could ignore this but it's just not me to play it safe.


And when you find the edge will you push past or simply turn around?
Lit cigarettes linger as once did I there is always a part that should never be taken away .

In the moment we lingered as children afraid of the unknown .
then it was  s nothing more of you as always there was far less of me . .
**** the past it only serves a crutch to collect dust with bitter thoughts and run down as this half vacant room.

And in the silence we knew the answers to questions we never cared to ask.

The page is dry .

young lovers know that traggic passion blind to failure
blind to everything that doesnt see them togather.
So in early morning passion just befor light.
they slip off togather dreams and hope taken along
for the ride.

long brown chessnut colored hair flowing out the window
along with are dreams.
A fence post marker the road togther holds
a certin magic it seems.

Love made from state to state
the waterfall to which we did race
skinny dippin togather by that old forgoten place
Your naked  beauty etched within my mind along with
the hapinees reflected from your face.

Broke down in blue springs Missouri.
Now i dont question why your eyes
were overcast with worry.

Apart the nightmare cant erase thoose nights spent
laying in blissful silence your head apon my chest.
Memories depend apon your view.
I 'll just kiss the that jasmine scented southern
breeze for the rest.

My darlin I ask fingers interlocked
with time my heart what shall be
are plan.
A tear touches that vision of a face.
As you recall the memories of when togather we
ran.

We sat on the bulked viewing the sounds no words need be shared for sometimes in silence we say far more.
The sunset was upon us and the ***** was kicking in to that perfect sense of a warm buzz and the waters draw poetic in the truest sence .

There were shared stories with added lies simply a understanding of a crossroads part.
The road had ran it's course now the chapter was done and so my own would continue.

Were the  ******* headed now man.
My friend asked in a mild laugh curious yet knowing no matter the direction we
had different stories to write.

I have know clue think I'll just chase the sunset till the highways lends me her thoughts once again.

My friend simply shook his head .
Sometime I really can't begin to fathom what goes on in that head of yours bud.

Hell sometimes I wonder myself I had to think.

It's always on these rides when the air is one with the nights empty promise
I truly grasp the thoughts and understand my roads always best traveled alone.

The drug's  the ***** simply a mask for others to understand my less than
understandable  actions there always has to be something in which to place the blame now doesn't there?

I try not to question and as the road's endless roll drew me yet again I cared less
for the logic and simply gave in to the need to know what lay over the next hill.
I'd far rather die with my boots on than waste away in regret.

Live while you can for times a commodity  none can afford to waste my friends.

And as I hit the on ramp bound for nowhere and eager to see it all.
I had to think to the moments shared for they were far more meaningful to friends than I.

Sometimes a lone wolfs howl isn't for emptiness of the fear of isolation.
It's the understanding of one's self that truly drives the one's who chase the highways line.

I viewed the sunset a chapters close for the moment and a   endless thirst of highways vice
I so desired eternal.
She's a cruel mistress to some but on this nights ride her embrace is all I ever did need
for now.

Stay Crazy

Gonzo

She said .
"It's me or the bottle *******"!

I admired the view of  the door as it smacked her on the *** .
She hit the road and me I simply hit the bar .

Played some songs on the jukebox and didn't say a word to the folks around me .

Drank till I passed out and realized the **** storm I was in the very next morning .

She was gone and I was left here alone.

Without wheels and only a lone beer in the fridge .

Well no one ever claimed I was smart .

I wonder if she could turn round somewhere in Kentucky .
Pick me up a bottle then bring that pretty little *** back meet with a smile at the door.

Run into these open arms .

Embrace those lips and face those tears .


Then sit her down hand her the money and take my bottle and
tell her thanks before I slam the door in her face .

Whiskey heals all wounds .

And as for you my dear have a safe trip .

Sincerely


John

From this barstool i have sat waitting for some moment
of inspiration to come to me.
But the only thing that that comes to me is
a bartender with another drink.

And in empty reflection lost in a jukebox's song
played by a lonley heart shooting pool.
I cant recall where the spark went.
maybe it fell to floor like the ash from a cigarette.

the page waits at home like a wife waitting in worry as her husban is off doing God knows what.
So worried only wishing he'd return.
And when he does the fear fades and the anger kicks in.

The bottle doesnt hold a key but it does know me well.
I kiss it's fiery lips and cant resist it's charm.
so I sit with it passing hours in a dance that will end in
nothing but another wasted night  and a bitter morning taken
out apon my  mind.

In a swirl of hungover thoughts id leave half written pages.
To soon find themselves collecting with my ever growing arsenal  of
drunken rants.
All ending bitter and cold.

But when the whiskey hits I'll make such great plans
that will never be.  
I'll write that epic that will keep in the minds
other writers.
And in the warm arms of women who wanna love a
trainwreck just to say they've known what it's like.

Whiskey wishes are like sparks from a much larger fire.
the sparks fly off into the midnight sky.
only to fade befor are very eye.

As we pass time cast the shadow can you bare the light?

A cold breeze and warm thought times a ******* child we embraced

two misfits lovers of the moment sweetheart does it ever cross your thought's.



Time passes marked by the old clock on the wall.

my past is a thought fools seldom cast aside a good dellusion.

She was warm in arms that held emptyness so very well.



Songs no matter there heart must all fade.

Depth in the shallow watres of *** a reflex cant take the place of a life.

So she went a distant path but we still see that moment clear in nighst dark she cast my heart a moment of life in seconds of death.



Fall your burden to gather like kids outside a vacant lot.

***** the ghost's lets find some new demons to share.

Winter my mistress why must you  hang in thought like a tatred picture apon my thoughts wall?



Dust to gather in mind sniffed in the shared confines with a dark mind and easy lay.

No matter the price still we must pay.

Bitter  times and a moment will always fade the wind of kiss ice of my eternal storm.



A dead hero and a tight body to feed a eye's thirst lets sell are soul for some

spare change and a moment to ******* erase it all please lay in these arms and

hate for loves sake.



Lush spring brought me her snow bound canvas will the painters hand

ever remain  still  to create the perfect flaw.



Cracked ice soon we all must crash.

The honey my dear is always worth the sting.

please cast the eye's jaded in perfection befor you go.



One moment of devilish warmth befor winters passion must leave me to her always

promised chill.

The feeling I can never explain something just ingrained within you.
I can't explain what I never could understand.
We are the dreamers and suffer those who are awake.

Tragic are those who lack vision, misfortune is yours please spare mine.
The blade is now a pen my blood now Ink .
For whom it is lost is more found I.
The rejects of night are but misfits of my day.

As the poison seeps in as my creativity flows unto a void created in chaos none of which
was of my choosing.

Were all dreamers caught within a nightmare's grasp, losers of a game we chose not to play.
But we **** sure tried in spite of it all.
The blank page remains a suicide note to the forgotten chapter in a dust collected manuscript.

Secrets are best left buried like shipwrecks on the ocean floor.
Why be the judge when none are innocent or ever so guilty as I.

**** the nights for bringing the memories upon me ,
and curse my thoughts for remaining after all these drinks.
Haunted are the souls of the living simply empty vessels that fill the streets.

Many years have passed.
Yet these thoughts never age .

******* the nights and winters empty chill!
The fire now  only seems to smolder a dragons bluff to wolves such as I.

I hear the others howl I simply choose to ignore the sound.
Taking refuge in my thoughts and torment in scars past.
Empty are these thoughts that I unearthed tonight.

I hear the howls outside my door.
They are my burden and none else to understand.
In witching hours of lost hopes and broken dreams I find my solace.

I've ran with demons and slept with many angels, to burn only in the cold of ice.
Tomorrow is always a dream as from this nightmare maybe I'll wake.
Treasure the silence in it we find our true selves.

I hear the howls I simply choose to no longer answer.

She ended are chapter and i started the page pouring the soul in the cracks of a illusion .

Covering over are truths to erase are lies does the sunset hide all its beauthy?
Do rains flood lands to bury the wrongs once shown clearly as scars bleached by sun now decayed within darkness.


You can never own a moment claims of the vain are but attempts to hide the harsh reality.

I never let her see through my eyes as i will not allow you to know the man beyond the page.

Whatever you imagine is far more than what i will ever be .
Leave me hollow to fill in the expectations .

I wrote her out
she walked away

The story is a creation .
Life inspired me in some other way.

Nothing hides your pains better than a simple mystery.
She read my words when at that moment she abandoned remorse.

Art is best veiwed from a distance.

Edges best remain sharp .
And the reader a excepted intrusion.
Nobody wins today

I never watch them leave .
You must remain a ******* to exist amongst the sharks.
But there's always the scars of a jaded mind to allow you the replay.

Dark nights always find me .
Where those memories reside the tomb stands in the cemetery I just seldom cast my view there anymore .

The fire never leaves you it remains to mock your current efforts.
And the great question seems far more right than wrong when dealing with the years of rejection.

I wonder am I alone ?
I wonder does the path run forever will my luck run out tonight ?
Kiss the wind as it casts embrace upon others.
Let the storms destroy them all and allow you to remain.

We are all locked within the asylum some just laugh to hear themselves think.

Old books give older answers to such simple questions .
Take her while she is waiting never think twice bout the moment .
A good bottle a darkened room.

I find solace in the silence .
Inside I'm always laughing to.

In burnt out scenes I lingered like some old lab rat or some apocalyptic cockroach glowing in the dark and still existing in this modern wasteland.
Vegas is an illusion 1 billion bright lights shining out in the distance with no true soul or depth.

She was the past and I was too old to look  back.
Or maybe just too jaded my ego too big to fathom her ways.
You are a mystery a unwritten story best left untold no true emotion and an endless supply ******* to keep you warm.

There is solace in isolation a madman's prison the paradise to troubled thoughts I had everything my drugs my ***** my addictions serve me well.

And as for you my dear.
I will see you tonight rapped in lace and bound by secrets.
I will see you for only the way you choose me to see you.

There are no true answers  to questions only more stories.
And she was a chapter unto herself passion, hatred, love, all things she had learned served her as my addictions suited me.

We would meet again for fools in the storm often take shelter anywhere they can.

I never wrote a mystery until I met her.

It wasn't a good feeling knowing words would result in the chapters close between us .
And no matter my ego I still never enjoyed causing anyone pain let alone you.

Are paths had crossed and taken us in separate directions and only the blindness of concern had kept the ship afloat this long but delusion was a tide that could never bare us to distant shore and losing all wasn't worth the cost so i believe losing you was my penance that surely must be paid.

Life had scared are thoughts and now time had dealt its hand .
The only thing left where the words that would sting worse than the lash.

Sometimes being a ******* was the only option.
This was the best showing of my concern and no matter the sting at first it was best for us both.

The storm was upon the horizon I simply had to ride it out alone .

There is no hell worse than the one bring down upon ourselves  

I'm so sorry to tell you goodbye .

Your mommy thinks it's great and rewards you with a bowl of ice cream and a sticker after she just gave you a bath once being your twenty two is a little strange I'm just saying.

When all your Facebook friends like it and yet you've never actually
met one of your two thousand Facebook friends.
I'm not saying your a loser cause you live your live online
well yes I am sorry I'm a ****.

When you write endless poems about how everyone in this world *****  look  sure people are a pain in the *** .
But maybe instead of listening to hours of music about suicide and
other teenage horse **** maybe you should step out the door go into
that strange place  called the outdoors  get a drink get laid and try having a life instead of just ******* about everyone else.

When other people are brought to tears before you read the first line.
Yeah sure I want to listen to hours of spoken word poetry.
And maybe have a root canal as well.
Well at least with a root canal there's some free drugs.
Look get a keg maybe some other party favors and a wet T shirt
contest and that's a poetry reading you can count me in for.

When everyone on a website gives you a hundred likes and not a single comment  yes the like button I hate it if you didn't know.

How do you know when your poetry ***** .
Well when it's used by the government to interrogate  suspected terrorist  at the airport and suspect screams out in agony .
Look whatever happened to good old fashioned water and car batteries and jumper cables ?

When your favorite subject is the girlfriend that ripped your heart out
and how your life isn't worth living since she left.
When if you had spent more time hitting the sack and less time working on her tenth sonnet.

Maybe she wouldn't be getting jack hammered by your best friend.
Hey write about that video they put out she's a total freak.
Sorry bout your loss now what was her number?


Yes bad poetry it's enough to drive a mental man sane trust me
that's why I drink so I can forget half the crap I've read .

Stay crazy kids .
Drinks on me Gonzo

Better watch watcha do around the lab.
Dont let your hunch backed assistant play with chemicals.
Get your head out the coffin and your mother and law
off the slab.

For strange brew.
Can re animate old fiends.
And really mess with you.

One two three four.
You blink and from the grave rises more.
Yes your new discovery wont get your fellow mad
scientest clappin.
they just eat my neighbors oh well you reply.
Zombies happen.

They called out the national  gaurd seems ive created a mess.
People screaming what shall we do?
well run would be a good guess.

His worm filled mouth is open and i dont think
mr zombie wants a kiss.
people sreaming and running in terror shopping at
walmart has never been like this.

Uncle Walter after only seventy years its wonderful
thoose skeletal toes a tappin.
It's become wide spread so I must say.
My bad ya'll but zombies happen.