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2.5k · Feb 2016
Waiting for your text
HeatherBeth Feb 2016
What do you expect me to do?
Sit here waiting patently on cue
mind racing, stomach sinking, heart breaking
waiting just for you

20 minutes at a time
with a million thoughts on my mind
but 20 minutes goes by slow
in the dark waiting alone

For someone who probably
has someone else
waiting for them
just like myself

Except they don't wait
they get your time
because unlike them
To make me wait is fine

I am the other now
the one who waits
who patiently sits
who does what ever it takes

just for a second
of your atention
I must sit and wither
through a lofty detention

This a fear
I knew would come true
but never in my dreams
enacted  by you. . . .
2.2k · Jan 2016
Momma
HeatherBeth Jan 2016
"Momma please don't yell"
Is the only thing I asked
Silence never fell
2.1k · Jan 2016
Abusive
HeatherBeth Jan 2016
Conversation overloaded
psychopathic episode
Choke me till I learn to die
Yet to die is to live a lie
Swords and knives cut me deep
But my stature I still keep
Words so mighty are all that hurt
Rub them in my face like dirt
Cut me till my tears run dry
Sing me a broken lullaby
Demons rise angels fall
I try so hard to forget it all
Broken dreams rise from the dead
Broken promises stuck in my head
I will not cry I will not brake
My broken heart you shall not take
Beat me till I learn to listen
Still in my eyes you glow and glisten
You're not better then any one
Just because you hold a gun
Choke me cut me beat me down
Yet shoot me and I'll always be around
Forever written on your heart
Bitter memories taste so ****
I said that you would regret
Now you will never forget
My name is written on your skin
Blood on your hands as proof of sin
1.7k · Feb 2016
The Polotician
HeatherBeth Feb 2016
And there was a politician
His skin as orange as the California sun
A smile that made children want to run
Such a man whom all loved to hate
With a belly that made you wonder what he ate
He wished to “Make America great again”
All the while supporting Saddam Hussein
He was the true ‘Murican, he could not sin
Unlike those immigrants with their coloured skin
He was a violent soul to manys’ dislike
With a voice that sounded like a motorbike
However he would still bellow
Of how he was just a common fellow  
With a loan of a million dollars from his father
To start his business, though no one would bother
Failure after failure with no success
He now tries to add a nation to his mess
A poem about a guy all Americans know of ;) this was an English assinement, my class had to make a modern day canterbury tales about current issues in America, there is a part two!!
1.7k · Dec 2015
Egocentric
HeatherBeth Dec 2015
I want to do something nobody's done before
And when I'm done I want to be asked for more
I want to inspire sombodies masterpiece
But how can I, when I don't even inspire me
HeatherBeth Jan 2016
She was everything I wanted to be
No wonder I questioned my sexuality
But to find she might be into me?
My heart couldn't help but skip a beat

I was set on being her everything
Four years I batted my eyes
And watched as she fell for others
As she let them between her thighs

As young people will do
I fell for others to
But she was always there in my heart
My feelings always true

Lover apon lover
Cracked and broke me down
Slowly I lost myself
Slowly I began to drown

But I still loved them
Just as I loved her
But how could I love both
And for that I was unsure

Finally one day
I got my chance
After so long in denial
She had given me a second glance

I showed her what I could do
And she fell before me
She fell FOR ME
But it wasn't what I hoped it would be

For once in so long
I found that I didn't want her
And finally my life
Wasn't such a blur


Because I wanted him
And only him
I wanted him so much
That my love for her actually grew dim

I realized that day
That it wasn't about what you were
It was about who you were
Yes finally I was sure

So many people
talk about what they like
But I found that I like whos not whats
I'm not straight I'm not "****"

I am who I am
And I'm everything I want to be
And she helped me realize that
She helped me find me
1.3k · Apr 2016
Oh painter please
HeatherBeth Apr 2016
Paint the walls
Paint the floors
Paint the cracks
Bettween the doors
Paint your love
The prettiest hue
Paint a smile
Just for you
Paint the trees
And paint the roses
Make everything
The color of posies
And while you're at it
Paint the lasses
The ones who dance
And sing of ashes
Paint the town
And paint the world
But leave untouched
One little girl
For if you Paint
All over her
You'll forget about
Who you were
You can change the world around you,  but you should always love you. There are many people who forget that.
1.1k · Nov 2016
Haiku, Strong Man
HeatherBeth Nov 2016
So tall, old oak wood
So stronge, long roots in the ground
Some comfort he brings
984 · Jan 2016
Do what you must
HeatherBeth Jan 2016
Ravage
My heart, my soul
Steal it
And keep it for your own
Damaged
As it might be
Keep it
Far away and safe from me
960 · Apr 2016
Be a nerd for 2 seconds
HeatherBeth Apr 2016
You are like a black whole
And if you were a nerd
You would understand how amazing that is
You would know
That I am paying you the highest compliment
930 · Apr 2016
Worried
HeatherBeth Apr 2016
I'm not worried about if I'll cut tonight
I'm not worried about the panic attacks I WILL have
I'm not worried about not being able to eat
Or throwing up anyway
Or crying when nobodies around
I'm not worried about me
I've been through this pain so many times
It's like a stupid broken record
That I'm about to just throw away

I'm worried about you. . . .
What are you doing?
Are you talking to her. . .
Forgiving her. . .
Learning to hate me. . . Finally. . .
Are you hurting, in your room
Are YOU able to eat?
Are you putting the knife down clean?
Are you waking up in sweats
Are you crying and broken?

Are you okay. . .

I guess I know you're not. . .
But I want to know how not okay you are. . .
I want to know that you are at least functioning
I want to know that your dad isn't hurting you
Physically or mentally
I want to know that you aren't alone
That no matter how much I hate him
He is there being your friend
Making you smile
Making you laugh. . . .
Because laughing always makes you feel better
And I know you hate being alone. . .
I don't want you to be alone

So I'm worried
And every time I think about you
Feeling the way I feel right now
I panic and I can't breath
I'm so worried that you are all I dream about
I'm so worried that when tomorrow comes
You will have your head down in the hall. . . .
Hearing nobody at all. . .
Alone. . .
I'm worried because I can't do anything
He said. . . To look walk the other way
And she will be watching. . .
Making sure I do nothing to help
Running to tell if I even smile at you
Wave. . .
I don't want to be the cause of more pain

Yes I'm worried. . .

I'm worried that I might of destroyed the most beautiful person I know
898 · Dec 2015
Things I can't do
HeatherBeth Dec 2015
I can't make people like me
It's sad, but true
But please do not hate me
For the things I can't do
I can't lie
I can't hide
I can't control
What's within
I can't love
I can't trust
I can't wait
Even for him
I can't be something I'm not
And that's sad but it's true
But please do not hate me
These are things I can't do
860 · Nov 2016
"Your Majesty"
HeatherBeth Nov 2016
Enthralled by your majesty
I fell to my knees
And that was exactly
Where you wanted me

For through wars with no end
I would of treversed for my king
Even with no voice
For you I could sing

Of our battles and scars
I still had no woes
Even when peiced
By their swords and bows

For I was the Lanelot
To you, my king Arthur
But too, a maiden in love
Though clad in armor

Yet now I am nothing
Blown away with the breeze
A memory once strong
Forgotten with ease

I know now with sadness  
My pedestal was false
Just a seat for your toy,
A doll with no pulse

Yes it is clear now
My significance a lie
Crafted by an enslaved man
A "king" on high
Never let someone else determine your importance because one day they will turn around and decide that you're not worth their time anymore.
857 · Apr 2016
This is modern love
HeatherBeth Apr 2016
Waiting for your messages
Knowing you probably already read mine
Fear creeping up my spine
Reloading the page a million times
And once more

Just to be sure
769 · Feb 2016
The Politician's story
HeatherBeth Feb 2016
There once was a man on border patrol
With a heart not unlike a massive black hole
He wore his uniform with brilliant pride
As he sent immigrants back to the right side
A hero of the nation
Into the night he would ride
Some nights he would find twas not a soul to be found
As he searched the dry, sand covered ground
But on others he’d find, much to his delight
Many to which he was not so polite
Harsh and cruel was he
Always, he was a true knight
One day as the patrolman was on the job
Some animals came to start a large mob
They were angry with the hero, they did not agree
“America” they shouted “should be FREE”
He smiled and with sound mind replied
“Not if it was up to me”
They raged at this, which made him chuckle
Until one of them struck and jaw met brass knuckle
Seeing this act of violence, more law men jumped in
The law was the law, and the law would win
just as it should be
just as it hasn’t been
But the patrolman was put away
And the immigrants got to stay
Because not all stories have happy endings
At the end of the day
This is part two, no this is not my view on imigrants, I had to write a story *** if "The Politician" was telling it (like the canterbury tales)
HeatherBeth Jan 2016
Leave me alone
Don't touch me
Who cares
Forget it
What's the point
- - - -
Make a point
Keep fighimg for me
I care, please, don't you?
Hold me before I break
Please never leave me
701 · Apr 2016
The phone call
HeatherBeth Apr 2016
I was standing in the mall
My Becky in tow
We were looking for dresses
That you already know
For I was texting you
And we had found the perfect ones
I had sent you 'A' picture
(You were lucky it wasn't tones)
But she needed matching shoes
So we hurried to the next shop
And that was when I got the call
But my heart didn't drop
It was from you !
I said HEY! ! In my usual happy tone
But it wasn't you
On the other end of the phone
He sounded like you
So it wasn't till his name rang in my ears
That I began to feel the pain
Then I felt the tears
I calapsed in a seat
As he began to rant on
Telling me how horible I was
And how I was 'wrong'
Saying to stay away
That this wasn't your choice
That you were to young
To have your own voice
I couldn't even fight
I just said okay
I hung up the phone
And I walked away
I was surrounded by people
I didn't know
Excluding one
Who saw the whole show
She hurried me out to the car
Where I could curl up and die
Because after that call
I could no longer cry
645 · Nov 2016
One day (extended) Today
HeatherBeth Nov 2016
One day:

One day you will not love me
The way you loved me
Once apon a yesterday

One day you will love her
And I will crumble
As my heart with you will stay

One day you will look back
And our love will be
But a sweet, memory

And that one day is the day
That my love for you
Will bloom into misery

Extention:

Today:

You do not love me
The way you loved me
Once apon a yesterday

Today you love her
And I love him
But with you half my heart stays

Today you look back
As if our love
Were just a bitter memory

And today I know
That all my love boomed
Was a tale of misery
Making this a poem group
608 · Nov 2016
A story
HeatherBeth Nov 2016
Write me into the world
Leave me a mark on the shore
Carve me a heart in a tree
Paint me on all you can see
Read me aloud to those who'll listen
Sing me like your favorite song
Whistle my name into the wind
Shout until the mountains bend
Picture me as I was before
Remember me like a child's dream
Feel me beside you as you go
Hear the love I couldn't show

Put me down on your paper
Keep me up in your head
And when no one can hear you
Hold these words I have said
577 · Feb 2016
Our burdens
HeatherBeth Feb 2016
You think I don't know
That you are also in pain
But my dear friend
I am not that insain . . .
It rings like a lie
But I never wanted you to feel
Like pet, a dog
Who needed to heel . . .
I want to hear what you say
But I know what it will do
I'm already crumbling
Alone without you . . .
But that does not mean
That I have spun lies??
I am simply trying to fight
My certain demise . . .
You have hurt me!!!
Straight to the core
But not by going
And trying to find more . . .
You hurt me because you hid
Cept it behind a curtain
Told me pretty words
So now I am uncertain . . .
Because the esance of our love
Was centered around honesty
Something I feel like you broke

That's what burdens me . . .
571 · Apr 2016
My hidaway
HeatherBeth Apr 2016
Tears on my face
I run for my place
No shoes on my feet
I've admitted defeat
Mud between my toes
Fresh air in my nose
Spiders in the grass
Sprawled out on my ***
Clouds passing by
I stair up at the sky
Here I don't hide
What I'm holding inside
Here I can scream
Blow off my steam
Here you're not real
Here I don't feel
It's like I don't exist
A feeling I can't resist

This last place I can call my own
Where I can finally be alone
558 · Apr 2016
What then
HeatherBeth Apr 2016
What if they hate me
For a good reason
What if it's something
That I can't change

What do I do then
549 · Jan 2016
Pretty girl and pretty girl
HeatherBeth Jan 2016
Pretty girl and pretty girl
One is hollow, one is full
Hollow of the love she thought was hers
Full of the envy that took what wasn't
Pretty girl and pretty girl
One was true, one was false
True in the way she loved him whole
False in the way she took control
Pretty girl and pretty girl
One is humble, one is vain
Humble of the looks she has been blessed
Vain in her struggle to gain what she lacked
Pretty girl and pretty girl,
One is, and one is not,
One is beautiful with every flaw
One is not, as it seems, so pretty at all...
Wrote this poem for my beat friend when a boy her for a really shallow girl <3
542 · Nov 2016
Add more to my poem
HeatherBeth Nov 2016
I had forgotten how I loved you
And that is exactly what I had intended to do

And so as my payment I now can see
That you have elected to completely forget me
Comment two lines you would like me top add, let's make am epic
526 · Apr 2016
Jelousie (hyku)
HeatherBeth Apr 2016
Is what I see real
Or a holusinaton
Made of jelousie
525 · Jan 2016
Hide
HeatherBeth Jan 2016
The only thing
I've ever pretended is
Haha. . . . . . never mind
502 · Apr 2016
Coming home
HeatherBeth Apr 2016
I left so I wouldn't be alone
And now I'm coming home
The tears that I wouldn't let fall
Rain as I stumble down the hall
My stomach churns like an empty pit
The door is closed like we left it
My cat is waiting  when it opens
His loving face is where my strength ends
I wrap him in my arms so tight
Wishing he could understand my fight
My family argues through the house
Wile I hide quietly as a mouse
Hiding in the closet that I once feared
I pretend that I have disappeared
Yes this is the home I've come home to
My home sweet home, what can I do?
It's one thing to be alone period, it's another to be alone when many people are around. .
482 · Apr 2016
We can do this
HeatherBeth Apr 2016
Tell me all the lies you have spun
I will always listen
Even if I'm the only one
I will always be here
Hiding from the monsters
That have surrounded us
Trust that
Trust me
Because you're right
This was always how it was going to be
We knew this was a war
We knew new we would loose
But we put up a valiant fight
The perfect underdogs, me and you
Soon we'll both be free
You. . .
Not as soon as me. . .
But what is a year or so
In the prospect of eternity?
461 · Aug 2016
A reminder to myself
HeatherBeth Aug 2016
Breath hunny, let it out
Let it float away in silence
There is no need to shout
Breath hunny, for one day
You will find a love like the one
That remorsfuly cast you away
Breath hunny, for you will learn
To love him, as you loved him
Your feedom you will earn
Breath hunny, this is just life
Not every relationship works
It's all just part of the strife
452 · Jan 2016
I DON'T HAVE THAT
HeatherBeth Jan 2016
I DON'T have your patience
And I DON'T have your time
Because unlike YOU
It's MY heart on the line
YOU many sit here waiting
Thinking one day it'll be OKAY
But I don't HAVE that luxury
To wait MY time away
YOU can pretend your happy
If that is what YOU please
But I will NOT lay before them
Weakly apon MY knees
Time IS a powerful weapon
Now THAT I will admit
But WAITING is a painful path
That to myself I will NOT commit
So have your PATIENCE
Yes have your TIME
But I don't have the HEART
To WAIT for you to be mine
405 · Apr 2016
Austin (hyku)
HeatherBeth Apr 2016
"Hey kitty kitty,
take care of momma for me"
But momma needs you. . . .
395 · Apr 2016
It's silly
HeatherBeth Apr 2016
It's silly

You're a little rodent
And you're smelly
And you like caterpillars
Even when they grow wings
And I just can't believe
The way you love the little things

Like me

Except the smelly part

Just the part about caterpillars
And the little things

And it's silly

But we're silly
And that's the best part
The part that I need
The part that warms my heart

You're like sweet chocolate
Which I know you don't like
But I love

Yep
that's us

And it's silly

How you've wiggled your way like a worm
Into the grooves of my mind
So deep into my memory
That you'll never be left behind

Because everything I do
Has little parts of you

And that's silly
And amazing
And human

And worth waiting for

Even if waiting is silly
Something happy just for you
392 · Mar 2016
Lost boy song qoute
HeatherBeth Mar 2016
"Run run lost boy they say to me
                                   Away from all of Reality"
382 · Apr 2016
Not cool
HeatherBeth Apr 2016
Contacts in
Yeah, I can kinda see
And people seem to be
Looking at ME
But where is the plastic
Against my nose
Against my finger
In the wind
As I try to push up
My shield against the weather
I have to blink so much more
This is defiantly

Not cool
380 · Apr 2016
I wish I was Alice
HeatherBeth Apr 2016
Reach out and give me your hand
Please take me to wonderland
For last night I bumped my head
And woke up to a land so dead
The creatures here have beady eyes
They find their fun in spreading lies
I do not like this rechid place
Each second is a frightening chase
My heart doesn't know what to do
I no longer know what's false or true
But how will I ever get away
I just want to find a better day
So take me now I don't care where
Yes, Mr. Rabbit, I'll go anywhere
376 · Nov 2016
Goodbye Hello
HeatherBeth Nov 2016
Thank you to everyone who liked and shared my poetry. It was nice to have a place to reach out but I feel I should go. I've been keeping more and more of my writing to myself, it is hard to be open when any emotions I let go leads to backlash. I'm probably going to leave my page up here and post some more things from the last few months but after tomorrow I'm not going to get back up here. This is a chapter I should of closed a long time ago.
365 · Jan 2016
I'm fine I promise
HeatherBeth Jan 2016
If I tell you I'm fine
For the millionth time

Please don't believe me
363 · Apr 2016
Demons in the mirror
HeatherBeth Apr 2016
Some people's demons
Look at them through different eyes
Mine stair silently back
From the mirror before me
361 · Feb 2016
Split in two
HeatherBeth Feb 2016
Split my soul in two
Half for me
and half for you
359 · Nov 2016
Paralized
HeatherBeth Nov 2016
Lost in a body that remembers
She can feel every touch
Unable to move an inch
For if she moved she'd loose to much
Content to stay frozen
With his memory on her lips
But restless to get moving
And travel many trips
She is frozen by the fear
Of moving on and letting go
Yet set in motion by the need
To do what freezes her so
( not done)
349 · Apr 2016
This bulshit
HeatherBeth Apr 2016
I hate this
I
Hate
This
All the words I try to put down
Are so full of ****
You'd think I had crap stuck in my teeth
I'm tired
Really ******* tired
I'm tired of being told I'm crazy
By the craziest ***** I know
Tired of being told I'M trouble
By a man who would lock up his son
Tired of being treated like the problem
Just because it's the easest choice
And I'm really ******* tired
Of trying to rhyme my poems
Rhyming is beautiful
Rhyming has rythm
And right now I don't have the patience for either
My words do not have beauty
They are full of anger and PAIN
And they do not have rythm
They are wild and uncontrollable
It's unbarable
I am a writer
I am a ******* poet
I guess I just lost my muse
343 · Jun 2016
Persanal Therapy
HeatherBeth Jun 2016
I can't take it anymore
This feeling within
I need to brake out
From beneath my skin
Out comes my old frineds
Let the therapists begin

They draw out the pain
That was hiding underneath
My sorros poor away
As they flash their sharp teeth
And when I am cured
They go back in their sheaths
342 · Feb 2016
No title
HeatherBeth Feb 2016
I don't know what you're  doing
To us , Or to me
I can't  even tell anymore
If this is really how
Things are supposed to be
Mastermind
Of your own demise
But I'm just as stuck as you
342 · Apr 2016
Breath
HeatherBeth Apr 2016
In

Having to tell yourself

Out

To breath

In

Is a hard thing to do

Out

It hurts

In

But if I don't tell myslef

Out

I'll stop
333 · Apr 2016
You're funny
HeatherBeth Apr 2016
Hold up
Wait
What did you just say?
After so long of convincing me to stay?
You think I'm gunna run away

you're funny
332 · Jan 2016
They don't understand
HeatherBeth Jan 2016
They don't understand
As I reach out my hand
You are the only one I want to grab it
But they think I'm a bad habit
They worry for you
And what I might do
So they tear us apart
Not thinking of your heart
They say this is best
As they take the heart from your chest
They blame it on me
As I drown in this sea
They hate me for existing
And I'm trying to keep resisting
But the erge to run grose strong
How can our love be wrong
And I won't say "hey we tried"
Because I need you by my side
Best friends from the begining
We can't let them keep winning
So don't let go of my hand
Just because they don't understand
This is how I feel, in case you didn't know
HeatherBeth Apr 2016
Sharp things on my bed'
Look so much better colored red
Maybe they should
319 · Jun 2016
Persanal Therapy
HeatherBeth Jun 2016
I can't take it anymore
This feeling within
I need to brake out
From beneath my skin
Out comes my old frineds
Let the therapists begin

They draw out the pain
That was hiding underneath
My sorros poor away
As they flash their sharp teeth
And when I am cured
They go back in their sheaths
317 · Dec 2015
Today
HeatherBeth Dec 2015
You took a part of me
I didn't want to loose
Followed a path
I thought you'd never choose
Tomorrow
I know somehow
That it'll all be okay
The pain won't matter
Because that was yeaterday
314 · Jan 2016
Good morning calls
HeatherBeth Jan 2016
Six in the morning
        The ringing phone wakes me up
                    My favorite alarm
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