When you bleed,  I will bleed too.
When you die, I will die with you.

One month
and many thousands of words
and yet.

My feelings are not 100%
and my head is messier
than I thought it could get.

but I'm happy with writing
these words for you;
some are ****
but some are good too.
And I'm happy because of
all the tallented people I've met.

How does imagination still exist
when we **** it with the society in which we live?

Anger spinning in my head
*******
*******
you heard what I said

anger spinning in my head
leave me alone
you heard what I said

anger spinning in my head
the consequences that I dread

anger spinning in my head

Burning my life down to the ground
there should be screams but there is no sound
no path to follow
only dreams that are hollow
unprepared for life ahead
or at least that is what was said
when I am unable to cope with the pressure
I will take the extra measure
to try and forget
but sadly it's not over yet

I wish I had a path to follow,
a path with trees
and green
not hollow

A summit
that I will aim to reach
a goal which I shall seek
and overcome it

a boat
so I could drift away
and return one day
and if I don't

I will find another way
maybe find myself astray
someday
I'll eventually find somewhere to stay

I want you back
the feeling you give me.
I want you
to run right through me.
You give me something,
a feeling inside.
You make all the numbness
run and hide.
You change something
when you're around,
when we're alone
you sing your sound.
You seem to care
and are always there.
Happiness leaves, emptiness as well
but you are there. Constant. Eternal.

I don't want to fight any more.
I don't see the point of this internal war
I have with myself
When I know the way I've felt
I sick of this mental barrier
and my tongue not being a carrier
of my words.
Like the birds,
I wish I was free
It could happen, I'll see
on that day
when I can say
the words I've been longing to say

The sun was out
now my face is red
Take a different route
and don't go over Bradford

When I leave this world
And go back to reality
I'm faced with the same
overwhelming wave of anxiety
too afraid for people to know me
too sacred to let people see
but everyday I go back
and everyday is the same
I have this barrier
you may know it as shame
I'm not shameful of myself
but feel shame for the ignorant-minded people
who surround me
in this shell
protecting me from being me

Glass room in a school?
Yes it may look cool
But in winter we freze
In summer we overheat
And there's no cool breeze
'cause the windows open in
when did it begin?
In 2012, well Air con. Would be good
But you can't and if you could
You would
N't.

Bright lights
brighter in the night
fill the streets
while people sleep
and daytime crowds are gone
am I the only one
to see this city as pretty
when everyone else seems to see it as ******

Holiday homework
Is like living a dream
Or a nightmare
It depends what kind you mean.

I had the time to do it
5 weeks to be precise
But I just couldn't be bothered
So I'll do it on the last night.

As I start the reading the instructions
And realize there's no cheat way
I put my pen to paper
And realize its going to be a long day.

And others have another week
But my school starts earlier than the rest
And my pen ran out already
This day is just the best.

Stop acting
like you don't
give a ****;
I know you do.
stop bringing me d
                                o
                             ­   w
                                n
further than I already
am. Don't push me in
the hole I'm f
                         a
                            l
                              l
 ­                               i
                                ­  n
                                     g
in anyway, without your
help. Stop pretending
your life has no meaning
and trying to be like me.
you can smile and be
happy whilst I am still
empty. Nothing makes it
better and you trying to
understand doesn't help.
Just STOP!
You will never get it, you
just puncture; making
things                 worse.
letting                 me stand
with a                 hole in my
body                   and all the
pain but nothing leaving.

yesterday
I missed a chance
I missed the chance to tell you
how I feel
so my mind can be at rest
and my life become real
I couldn't tell you
those words
those words that replay
over and over in my head
for days, weeks, months
those words I need to be free from
I came so close
but my message was hidden
I need to break free
from this feeling
but I can't
I can't and it kills me
maybe next time
but next time I still won't be able to speak

This may not make sence if you haven't read The Girl
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/1669837/the-girl-trigger-warning-self-harm-suicide/

She fell in love with a girl
and then fell in love with the world.
They traveled hand in hand
over mountains, hills and desert sand.
On a journey of self discovery
once she was saved by her princess and started her recovery.
Many years later the scars are still there
but she is too lost in her girl to care
They became memory of the past,
as she no longer felt like an outcast
but accepted as another human, not hated for the cuts that she made to bleed,
or the scars from the many times she left to be alone like she was some sort of disease.
She was free from the hurt and pain they caused
and loved by her girl who embraced every flaw.
They were inseparable they would never leave eachothers side-
they took life as it came and everyday was a different surprise.
She could look forward to life and what would come next...
but what happened then was not what she would ever expect.
her girl - the only one who ever supported her was stood opposite,
she suddenly became less talkative
as she realised her face was turning maroon
and the girl she loved wasn't going to be leaving any time soon.

You're digging yourself a hole;
leading yourself on.  False hope.
They don't like you back,
they even told you so.
So when you're hanging over the edge
I won't care at all.
I tried to worn you. I ******' swear!
But you weren't there,
you were too busy digging a hole
and trying not to fall over the edge.

In white history books we learn how the epitome of privelage save the day.

In white history books black people trying to free themselves was cast away.

White history books cast aside the past and believe we have a more equal society.

White history books add to the ignorance allowing for race inequality.

not again.

Hi
bye
said all the time

what does it mean
we've all seen someone leave

hi
bye
someone just died
Left the world in the blink of an eye

I can deal with people (well a small amount)
I confuse most without a doubt.
Some don't understand their ignorance is what makes us divided
because whilst I try to be enlightened they don't realise nothing's one sided.
Whilst some are not bigots or prejudice in any way
they never seem to understand so agree with what you say.
Their ignorance is ineffable, inevitable and ineluctable
however, could change although improbable.
Understanding people's identity and lifestyle should be taught to us
then no one would be beat down for who they are, on the bus.

She looks into my eyes
but I look away.
I know they're full of lies
and I don't want more pain.

Sometimes in life we all strive
but never think of the other side.

If you're letting go
leave
you don't need me

If you're letting go
I won't stop you
not that you want me to

if you're letting go
go
You've been stuck waiting here too long

Double standards of how men and women should act, dress or be treated.
Miss out everyone inbetween. Making them seem as though they never existed.

When thoughts stop
causing a mind block
time carries on
without your song

You can teach us about the Nazis and how they killed the jews
but you can't teach us *** ed without permission. What are you? Confused?

You can teach us not to do something and what is right and wrong
but do not explain, so ignorance is becoming of the young.

You don't listen to what we need to learn you just read it from the book
but you don't realise it's not all in there. You read but do not look.

You teach us for the test. You make us decided before we know
but under pressure we cannot find ourselves just empty shells so...
we leave the place with nothing. No direction. Nowhere to go.

Sorry for not going to see you today
When you're always there for me
And I'm crying, actually crying
with actual tears.
Whilst I get told to make more of an effort
because you won't be here forever
thinking about all the times I walk past your house
and didn't say hello.
I say sorry and usually I make the same mistake over and over and over.
Because it never seems real
it will never seem real
until I walk past your house
and it's empty.
I avoided my family all evening
because I could hear your name and ambulance from upstairs
and I didn't go to see you and make sure you were well.
I didn't go to see you
I didn't go to see you
replays in my head
because I won't see you tomorrow
'cause you'll be in a hospital bed.