Lover you asked me,
"How.... how much do you love me?"
Well, I would give every breath left in my body, just to make you happy
Self sacrifice
That's how much I love you

For every heartbeat I have left in my body,
I will love you
For every syllable that passes through my lips, I promise you this
I will love you
For every stutter when you leave me speechless,
Every daydream that conjures endless possibilities
For every touch and kiss
I promise you this
I will love you
For every moment shared, every love filled stare, baby I swear
I love you

I guess that's how it works with us,
You do whatever you like, tear me to shreds and watch me fall apart
But everytime you need me I will be there and I will hold you up even if it kills me

Stumbling and lost, I guess I'm paying the cost
Of being alive, but shall I survive
This searing pain, always comes back again
I feel like I'm fading, into the grey

But sometimes what doesn't **** you makes you weaker,
It takes small pieces,
Until you're left trying to put yourself back together again
And you can only hope you wont fall apart

Could it be?
This frivolous game they indulged in,
Become nothing but a mere competition
With sickening intent,
Both striving for who could be more seperate
From the other
Two lovers, cast aside emotions
For a constant play
Of cat and mouse

Hello my darling, how have you arrived, cast from the fire or fleeing from light
Devilish sin and goodness you shield inside
Inspires curiosity within me, of the secrets you hide

Poetry is complicated
Whether it be your teardrops onto the ink of painful truths
The deafening anger, when you have such strong emotion inside of you, words scramble out of your way
The heartfelt syllables read by someone who cant appreciate, your soul on a page
Or the crossing out of words, because they never say what you plead them to

Yet we write anyway

Because sometimes there is a moment,

Everything you've been trying to say, flows from your hand and suddenly, it falls into place, in front of you a piece of literature that encapsulates what was held in your heart and head for too long

Every second spent with you is absolute bliss
You give me wondrous memories that I often reminisce
I shall always love you truly, for true love will always be
You are my soulmate, my everything, you are the one for me

Let me tell you something about life,
It is too short
Too short to think about yourself as anything less than amazing
Too short to sit back when you get afraid to leap into the unknown
Too short to beat yourself up about mistakes
It is too short
So get out there and live each moment

Are you a late assignment, or some money overdue
Because I need more time, don't care for deadlines, I want 100 years with you
I will get down on my knees to beg, I shall comply with all requests, I'm desperate for these seconds, there is no time for rest
I need more than a day or two, and it's not a year I seek
See with all the love I have for you, I need much more than petty weeks
So darling, this I ask of you, just stay with me for now and let now never end

Because I know when we are old, our weary eyes will meet
I will say, I tried my sweetheart but now I must accept defeat
For all this love I hold for you, can never truly be shown, there is no timeline for my love but I guess I should have known
But as our body's move on, know I have loved you every day and this love of mine shall live on still, it is one that will never fade

You've got me thinking I must be dying
Because with you I see the light
And I am constantly tripping on euphoric delight
Every moment and kiss, has got me addicted to this….
Love we fell into, this wonderful bliss

I promise you sweetheart, my undying affection
Which has grown only stronger from our first interaction
That instant connection which was pure perfection
How I lived without you, is beyond my comprehension

Without you I was lost, but with you I am whole
And darling, I love you, with all my heart and my soul

When I was broken and hurting,
You waited patiently next to my side while I healed,
Never rushing me, but always waiting to catch me if I fell
And I will forever love you for that

That is the thing about grief,
You can talk to them all you want,
But the silence that fills the air when they dont reply
Will always tear you to shreds

Two strangers, now together, what once was nothing, now whispered into stardust
Two lovers kissing, with deep intention, wholehearted conviction of this lust
Hearts connected, souls inflicted, infected with love, they know they lost
All sense for self preservation
They dance with wolves now, despite the cost

Carnal craving, teeth bared, primal in this lovers dance, fueled by lust, we test our strength with limbs entangled, our body's ******
Shameless passion, untamed advances, towards this cliff edge we expertly unravel, this sin once dormant, how engulfing, we lend ourselves to this dark passion

Lover this moonlight cascading over your skin, highlights crevices and curves, stirring hunger deep within me,
I have starved for this touch, spent nights empty yet in hope of stumbling upon a love like this to fill the void

It's child's play they say, to dance upon the day
Golden sunlight enveloping their happiness, which seems to come from deep within
Their laughter echoes in the breeze, but it's not as easy as it seems
To live for each flourished moment

Tell me truly, is it unruly to ruffle the feathers which once taught freedom
To desire distant lands, dismiss demands which are restricting
I was thinking, of adventures, purple skies and orange mountains
Happiness brimming like a fountain, fearless and fantastic
Restless feet ache to tread, upon sands tainted not by dread
Let these craving hearts keep searching and to never to settle like the rest

Rapid heart, beating fast, dips and dives within delight
Post you - sunshine rays, my days overflow with promise and pleasure
A cup half full? Was I a fool, to believe this life would limit what it grants me?
That life would cast me aside, once I find, I desire more?
Now with you, I clearly see, society's aim to tame, their need to divide this rising tide, to give us tunnel vision, to spread belief of this allowance, of only half a cup of happy
With you it's waterfalls of euphoria, society I reject your cup!
Instead I shall bathe within the depths of us and swim within this lagoon of love
To me, this could never be, just a cup half full

Life is hard
You're allowed to make mistakes
Youre allowed to have days where you don't want to get out of bed
Youre allowed to feel sad
Don't be so ******* yourself <3

Delicate fingertips grazing skin,
Like soft touch upon wildflower petals,
Holding sunshine within tender palms,
This contact creating blissful flowers,
blooming in lungs once deprived of oxygen,
Your light reaching the dark abyss inside,
Once so desolate now thrives with life

As my psychologist said "see you next week" I silently questioned... but will you?

He said "youre with me"
And in that moment I felt at home in this word which makes outsiders of us all

Gettin up and hating every ray of sunlight streaming through your window because it means you have to get up and fight through another day

Tired heart weakly pumps
This desperate blood around my body
And my brain cries, please no more
There has been too much trauma here
It is now easier to let go.... than attempt to save this

Its alright ma, i only want to die a little bit
To feel like for that brief period of time i have wings
Or maybe a choice, that i could control my life
Even if that choice is the last one i make
Its okay ma, i just want to soar like you told me i could, instead of feeling like a sinking ship

They say,
"Oh but you seem happy... could you really have depression"?
Jeeze, my sincere apologies, I did not realize they made trenchcoats the shade of hopeless desperation
I should have shoes that count steps, to project my need to justify why I got out of bed

I must have forgotten to cover myself with war paint, to prove to outsiders my internal battle
But I will buy lots of velcro, so I can wear the words whispered and screamed by my depression late last night
Tell me, did you really believe I could show you by sight
The twisted demon that lives inside

They say,
"Oh but you seem happy... could you really have depression"?
I will not wear my depression on the outside, to comfort your disbelief
For it has already destroyed every cell of me internally, it is a happiness thief
Gribbed every inch of my personality and changed me into its idea of miserable beauty

A twisted beast that ricochets off fragile ribs
Tears through these organs, feasts on my energy in exchange for exhaustion
And yet comforts me "let's just stay in bed today, what could the world offer you that I can't provide right here"

You make me smile like sunshine lives within me,
When for so long the world tried to tell me, I had nothing but darkness to offer

I love you
You make these words weigh more than what society wants them to
You make those three words feel heavy and precious and now when i say them, they are not to fill a silence but a raw declaration

Gazing into your eyes, I feel addicted to these moments
Moments where petty time moves forward without our knowledge
Where words of devotion race through my mind
Words like: I will love you fiercely, use every atom and inch of me, to make sure you're happy

Moments of suspended reality, where the cold world heats up with golden light and I'm lost in your eyes and your skin against mine, makes my heart gain faith about the beauty of life

Where your tender words makes me realize that angels must exist, because how else could you be described?
Unfortunately time will once again make its presence known and I'm addicted to these moments, so please excuse me when I get worried because I want to be with you, not alone

Life laughs, "Oh little girl, were you not prepared for this, this war I will ****** upon you. By the time I am through, death will seem like a sweet and warm friend to run to".

Cancer
You took my mother from me, you *****, I will never forgive you for that
But now you want my brother too... firstly *******, you self entitled malignancy
He does not... or will ever belong to you

You may have taken one person from me but its time to level this twisted game you take so much sadistic pleasure from
It is time to show you where you belong, far from my ******* family

You sneer at me, tell me don't get a tattoo,
People will look differently at you
What you haven't considered is that marking my skin like this is the way I'm holding on
Creating something permanent for me in a world so fleeting
It's either this ink on me, or cutting, or death

With every swollen word of ****** promise
Whimpers escape my eager lips
My tongue craves our desperate kiss
My body tender with this
Our racing hearts with lust

Oh suicide thoughts, my daily companion
Tell me, when did we become so close?
I swear it wasn't long ago we argued
And I told you I didn't want you in my life
And so you left for a while
But now it seems you've forgiven me for the hate I hold towards you
And you soothingly whisper, like friends do
"It's okay to give up now, you tried your best"

You look at me and see someone, who is just a bit nervous
Inside though I have organs attempting to commit suicide,
From this tormenting struggle of anxiety
I have legs aching to carry me away from the perceived threat
Of talking, or attempting to act normal
I have a heart that beats too fast, hands that shake too much, a mouth too dry
So when someone says hi
I am left staring, trying to conjure the confidence to reply
But all that occurs is the piercing silence, that shatters through my overactive brain

'"Why girls who have close relationships with their father, make better wives"
"Why girls with 'daddy issues' are too complicated"
Enough I say, just because my father didn't decide to be in my life,        
Doesn't mean I am less of a person or would make a bad wife
My absent father does not affect the way I love
If anything it's taught me, to hold my head high and stand up

If you label me with 'daddy issues' I could only feel pride,
For every shattered disappointment I felt and for every tear I cried
For the days spent wishing and the night spent alone,
I realized I did not need a man, to build my backbone

Funny how absence can work in my favor
I am now stronger than ever, my own gleaming savior
So for boys who can't handle these women so strong
Stop trying to label us problematic and make us seem 'wrong'

Sickly sliding slimy claws around your heart
Your breath comes in desperate pants hot and fast
You hope this panic will end, but know you cannot last
For anxiety is desperate to become your soul companion

You hear his howl and shiver
The beast lingers in wait
And though you try to evade him
You'll fall for his bait

When did the thought of death become more welcomed than the thought of life

Shaking hands reveal the truth
I should have seen it, when my eyes brimmed with tears as I confessed my love for you,  
And with eyes downcast you whispered 'I love you too' but your hands shivered
I should have looked deeper
When my friend sighed 'everything is okay"
But with those forced words, came hands that shaked
I should have realized when I told myself 'I'm getting better' and an earthquake passed through my fingertips
I now know, to look past the deception and seek the truth your hands will show

He held a shaking gun towards me
And I laughed maniacally
Silly lover, don't you see?
You have already burned holes within me, Done much more damage internally
Than that silly gun could ever do

Lust, the price of you is my sanity
You inspire such dark desire within me
I am enveloped by your luminous fire
So undisciplined and destructive
Have my hands always had this tremor?

Lust, I am chasing a pleasure so sinful and unrefined
Delving into this painful bind
You hold me captivated, injecting me with the addictive need for release
I ache for sheets covered with the sweet scent of unadulterated passion

Lust, see what you have done to me?

She falters
You stumble
She whispers
You rumble
Under covers they tumble
Attempting to repair love with false pretenses and broken promises

Time heals they say, so you must be every second, minute, hour
Tell me lover... how did you obtain this power?
Where a simple graze of your fingertips against me...
Makes each passing second last for eternity
And why, when I'm not with you, do I feel these hours are betraying me?
With you happiness is an aquirable virtue and you seal my wounds leaving me thinking....
Hello time, it's nice to finally meet you

Your eyes are like galaxies
And I've always been one to gaze far too long at the stars

These scars upon me, are part of a story, about the time I danced with death,
I took his outstretched hand and he swore to take away my breath
With brilliant twisted tempo, his feet moved in time with mine,
Against his body, he smelt like sweet poison and whispered "my dear you are divine"
He vowed to give me purpose, promised he wouldn't leave my side, people will remember he laughed "the girl I took as mine"
"Do not blame yourself" he soothed "your heart was far too weak"
I will give you a beautiful end and grant the release you seek
My mind grew very weary but my heart would fight once more
I said "I cannot let you win dear death, it's time to end this war"
Through battles I escaped him, these scars my living proof
He still craves the life I promised him and vows to one day be my noose
So as you look upon my scars, it is not shame I feel
But pride that though I danced with death, I prevailed and did not yield

Let me hold your heart within my hands
I crave every inch of ******, beating, scarred and wounded
I want this beautiful instrument of life, to sing it's sweet melancholy melody
To convey how cruel this life can be
I will absorb your painful memories, let you feel freedom which may taste bitter at first
So unload your hurt, I cannot take it from you
But promise to stand by your side, until you do