"Hah. I wish I was an alcoholic. So every now and then I could remind you all of the things that I've done for you.
All the pain & hardships that I had to go through. All the sacrifices that I had to make.
Just to have all of my expectations torn apart by you.
I wish I could twirl my whiskey the same way you twirl me with your fingers. I wish you would realised just how lucky you are.
But out of everything I wish you'd realise all of those things by yourself.
If you'd take some of your dear time out of your own problems and maybe, just maybe ask me how my day was. Cause right now I'm on the brink of going back to that 'dark' place. A point where one would consider me twisted and deranged,
The worst kind of person you could find.
Oh, how I wish you would realise every little thing that I've done and consider me more than just an option.
Don't try to deny that.
All of this time I've been nothing but committed to you.
If only you'd have realised it much sooner, I wouldn't have to leave.
All those nights when you were alone and you'd call me up and I'd try my best to be there on the line with you. All those times when you needed someone and I'd text you back in just a few minutes no matter where I was or what I was doing. All those nights I'd make sure you didn't go to bed upset. All those times I fought with people I loved & cared for, for you. All those times I did things for you without you knowing.
All those times I tried not to love you.
I want to let you onto so many things but all you give me is disappointment and heartbreaks and I can not tell you these either because I want you to figure these out yourself, how much it is that you're hurting me, and how far it is that I am willing to go for you.
I don't want to tell you these things and force you to do things for me.
I am tired of being a shadow.
I am tired.
I am tired of you.
I wish I had another toxic to help me gulp you down other than yourself."
**- Aks, Alcoholic //Naked Emotions.

The house is full of people
but, it doesn't feel the same
You're just going through emotions
You're just playing at a game

The kids are home to visit
Aunts and Uncles too
But, we're all moving in slow motion
No one quite knows what to do

The house has changed a little
Since we grew up in it back when
Life was all delivered
Girls were girls and men were men

There's a yard, and beyond a field
And past that there's a stream
We went there to smoke cigarettes
And we all went there to dream

Sitting in her easy chair, staring at the world
Inside her mind
If we had a look in there, would we be surprised
At what we'd find
Grandma sits alone and looks, no sound
Just vacant stares
No one talks to Grandma now,

The house, it has a wrap around
porch from front to back
it was built for conversation
there's no reason for a deck

we've grown up and all moved on
Just Grandma and the folks
The front yard has a wagon wheel
With two cracked and broken spokes


We're here for Grandma's birthday
She won't move and doesn't know
We'll eat cake and ice cream
Say good bye before we go

She won't come down to see us
Won't venture past the door
I'll sit and brush her hair out
But, we don't talk to her no more

Sitting in her easy chair, staring at the world
Inside her mind
If we had a look in there, would we be surprised
At what we'd find
Grandma sits alone and looks, no sound
Just vacant stares
No one talks to Grandma now,

A Hundred years is nothing to an oak.
A Thousand to a mountain is a joke.
A Million to a solar system just exceeds its birth.
And we expect to make a difference in roughly eighty years on Earth?
PwL  5/5/15

I hate that you have eyes for other girls besides me
not that you've ever had eyes for me
not that I know of
I hate that I'm not your main girl
that there's many others

why did you send her a picture of me when you think she's hot
were you trying to make her jealous
or you were just documenting things in your day

why do you cuddle with me and make me feel so special
like we're so close
and there's a chance at something more
and then go back to the other girls

why do you let me put my head on your shoulder
and tell me to come back when I decide to move
you make me feel like you actually crave my closeness
like you actually want me

why do you make me feel like the happiest ******* the planet
and make me feel like the crappiest person in the world

more importantly
why do I even feel this way for you
and how did I sink this deep into the ocean that's you

At your funeral, everyone that I passed said that I looked beautiful.
They said they were so happy to see me but so sad that it had to be this way.
They even said how my bloodshot, tear stained, tired eyes looked pretty and that they'd never even noticed how green they were.
But I couldn't thank them. & yes my eyes looked more green, but only because of the purple bags under them. & I wasn't glad to see them if all that came out of their mouths' was a shaky & mumbled, "I'm sorry," because they knew I was sorry too.

~~
When so much light around
but you say the dark
I could not understand
my top layer

When I was in the womb
Then, and not
But there was light
Then when I saw your universe that you have made
everything was there

My playing companions
The Sun
The Moon
My beloved,
And that delighted
Night's north star was
on her forehead  
Where all of my senses have
grown up

Then at one sudden night of the new moon
I saw a thick overlay on the sky,
between you and me
The North Star has disappeared

I think that you were true
In the dark I find my known world
One by one,
Trying out through the thick layer

It seems to cover the end
As light yellow yolk
See a light-colored tint
which awakens my sixth sense again

A shadowy obsession
Which has yet to create an illusion
~~
@Musfiq us shaleheen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7_N7ehq6i8&index;=7&list;=PL6CFCFB09C2CFAAFF

The dead winter night was doing as its name described..  It was so cold that know one had the energy to make a fire..  The best we could do is stay indoors and try and keep warm..  The entire village was freezing to near death..  It was then we heard amazing cracking noises coming from the forest..  Then we heard and felt large rumbles all over the village..  This went on through the morning..  It was then I felt a warmth coming in through the walls..  The entire hut was getting warmer and warmer..  At the center of the village is where I saw him..  His scales where star fire blue and his eyes where a deep golden hue I cannot describe..  This dragon gathered up many trees at the center of the village and set them ablaze with dragon fire..  The entire village was being warmed by the grand fire the Dragon had created..  Through the harsh winter the dragon kept the fire going..  I was able to gather some lore on the dragons and found that this particular dragon is named Secalos..  He saved our entire village that winter..  Good night kids! I hope you enjoyed the story..

I first saw her at a party
Skin Tight jeans and Farrah's hair
She glanced and smiled in my direction
Trouble's brewing and it ain't fair

I knew right then I had to have her
Couldn't get her off my mind
I'd take her home and I would show her
A love of the most carnal kind

Where there's smoke there's always fire
Don't be fooled between love and lust
You've got to control your hearts desire
'Cause the fires hot and you'll end up dust

Working late without no distraction
The new secretary walked on in
I knew right then that I had to have her
My mind was thinking of only sin

She had a ring upon her finger
I didn't care, I had to know
She was selling and I was buying
I had some wild seed to sow

Where there's smoke there's always fire
Don't be fooled between love and lust
You've got to control your hearts desire
'Cause the fires hot and you'll end up dust

Running practice for all the kids
Getting sweaty with soccer moms
There was one standing there right beside me
I had to have her...and get me some

I made a move and she responded
Flipped me right onto my back
I thought here she comes, it's gonna happen
Then she kicked me in the sack

Where there's smoke there's always fire
Don't be fooled between love and lust
You've got to control your hearts desire
'Cause the fires hot and you'll end up dust

Imagine if the nativity
Took place now instead of then
With technological advancement
It'd be on the news at ten
In fact it would make youtube
A film clip at the stable
Taken by a shepherd boy
Underneath a table
The three wisemen would go on Skype
The gifts would be en route
No need to travel all the way
With the traffic in Beirut
Phone banks would be all set up
To raise funds for the birth
The internet would be a buzz
With the greatest news on earth
No camels, inns or drummer boys
There'd be no one there at all
The Angel of The Lord would be
Black Friday shopping at the mall
In fact I do not think that it
Would be a deal that we would follow
Social media and the press
Would make it all seem hollow
I'm glad it happened when it did
As time has come to pass
With Jesus in a manger
And wisemen there en masse
I don't think it'd be Christmas
If Christ was born today
Without a cd or a movie deal
Or a sport that he would play
Christmas is...and always will
Be the story we were told
I'm glad it didn't happen now
If I may be quite so bold
Unto man a child was born
And he, the son of God....