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1.8k · Apr 2017
I hate nice girls
Dreamer Apr 2017
I hate nice girls. Just exchanging hello makes me nervous. Texting just even makes it worse. If i get a call then for the rest of the day i keep checking my phone history with a wide grin on my face. I know the truth, they're just being kind. Anyone kind to me is also kind to others. I resent everyone for getting that. If reality is cruel then lie is kindness, and so kindness itself is a lie. I'd always hold expectations that i'd always misunderstand and at some point i just stopped hoping. An experienced loner doesn't fall for the same trick twice. As a veteran on this battlefield of life, i'm an expert at loosing. That's why i'll always hate nice girls.
1.3k · Apr 2016
Her
Dreamer Apr 2016
Her
A beautiful soul is my enemy, a fake smile is what I see... worsening everyday, everyway. Her eyes are always honest... always sad.
"Trust me! Everything'll be fine " I can't say this to her.
Because we're enemies.
870 · Sep 2016
or u?
Dreamer Sep 2016
I wondered into garden of blossomed blue flowers today,
morning glory and forget me not,
sprinkled with dew and swaying always so slight,
tethered but not, bowing but not.
Soft as the shy maiden within' a dream,
levitated blue bell with faces within a face,
always so grounded but eye on sight for heavens,
dreaming of tumbleweeds but rooted to her spot.
The rain from last night has taken away her strength,
but she knows her best to make the raindrops shine,
stubborn to keep her place in mid air,
she still glides and dances amidst her faith's plot.
Never so lavished as reds and pinks of roses,
never so dark but never so soft,
never so layered, just holding few petals to her sleeves,
ever refusing to let them.. ever leave her heart.
There she sits, my bluebell, on the mercy of changing winds,
there she hangs in balance, between fragility and strength,
there she is again, nudging me on while I stayed,
inviting me to admire her but asking not be plucked.
619 · Apr 2016
Thoughtless
Dreamer Apr 2016
A glimmer of hope
A glitter of sunshine
Keeps me awake
In this apocalyptic night
Fear runs down through my head
Down to the chilled spine
Through the bones and every single veins
Of my body
As if it were to crush me
Not just me but my entire existence
As if I didnt exist
I am but a shadow in this sunny universe
Desperate to find my only existence
Wherever it may lie.
539 · Jan 2018
::
Dreamer Jan 2018
::
I went to visit her yesterday...she had grown much beautiful and lively, her heavenly eyes, angelic voice, she is still the most beautiful girl I have ever seen... I told her I had to soothe my heart ache that has been spreading all over now.. she stayed silent and did not even mourn over my pain... she was standing right in front of me physically but I missed her.. it felt like she was not even there... the girl I loved and planned to cherish my whole life with... I felt helpless so I went home to drink the potion of off her pictures like I always did.. and like every other time, the potion covered the wounds but never healed them...
She left my heart scarred, my life discolored and my faith blemished.. despite everything, I have no complaints, no regrets and no worries,, cause my love for her is like a flowing river, that just knows to flow.
496 · May 2017
The line
Dreamer May 2017
I am just telling you
"Love is not always enough for having everything"
I was as naive as you too .
But this world isn't.
crush's cold words
494 · Apr 2017
3am
Dreamer Apr 2017
3am
"I am sick", you say.
Does your body ache?
Does you mind race like the clock in my room
like I swear every second ticks with three clicks
or is it your heart that hurts?
Like the old pocket watch I keep hidden in the chest
at the back of my cupboard some where,
it skips the beats, doesn't it?
It needs a rewind!
481 · Feb 2018
confession
Dreamer Feb 2018
She was like a cigarette. I put my lips on her, and suddenly I was immersed in her devine taste. Like a winston cigarette, I ****** her blueberries. Never in my life I felt that great. However, she vanished like smoke and ashes from my life and I was left with stub. Initial couple of days, I felt so tormented. However, later I understood, it was never love between us, it was only an enslavement, merely an addiction
481 · May 2017
a second chance
Dreamer May 2017
To really look at yourself is the hardest thing to do.
Not just looking in the mirror, but when the mirror looks back at you.
When you see all your flaws, your weaknesses, and your short comings.
Its hard not to break and start to leak, like a crack in the plumbing.
When i looked into my soul, i saw nothing but black.
Cried, prayed, and wished for a chance. A chance to go back.
To right all the wrongs, to patch all the holes.
Even though i know its impossible, like changing the way the river flows.
Since i cant go back, all i can do now is change.
Have to mend my soul, order my feelings, have to rewire my brain.
454 · Apr 2016
moments
Dreamer Apr 2016
When all is said and done
And the moment of truth arrives
The frustration starts to kick in
Every single vein in your body starts to twitch
Brain shouting in desperation
Heart doesnt want to believe the situation you are in
The MOMENT !!
The jargon of truth
Draggin me down
Every thing radicalized
This is a conspiracy shouts my mind
But all in vain
The words I write wet and wrinkled
The thoughts I think
Blank and dank
I try to think
To get out of this hell of a mess
But then the brain shouts
Just **** IT
And its all over..
453 · Jun 2017
curious flesh
Dreamer Jun 2017
I dream, sometimes,
of slicing open my arm
just out of curiosity--
not of self-harm.

I would run my knife
down the pale hide
whilst being oh so careful
not to damage what's inside.

With four metal clamps,
I would pry back the skin.
Through this, I could see
the flexing muscle within.

After I've had my fill,
I would suture the flesh.
Satisfied till the morrow,
having fulfilled this request.
412 · Sep 2016
I
Dreamer Sep 2016
I
I want to be...
I want to be wise,
not wealthy,
not vain,
not restrained,
not bound by imagination,
not crippled,
not by complicated tools,
not wrestle with ideas,
not succumb to noises,
not in need of point of view,
not lacking a filter,
I want to rise- beyond.
400 · Feb 2018
Honey
Dreamer Feb 2018
Broken
And, tired for some time
possibly shutting eyes will do
before strolling another mile

Honey, sing me a children's song
much the same as you
with a touch of bitterness
And a touch of adoration that is true

I'm done with the falsehoods
the sweet ones
that gets pushed
into my throat consistently

They say
salvation is available to be purchased
while the spirit bites the dust
a noiseless demise
I'm heaving each second
while vision
breaks down in my breath
for what isn't right

what's more, what isn't doesn't make a difference
until the point when I quiet my fevered head

Honey, sing me a bedtime song
much the same as you
I know life is short
What's more, trusts are so few
In any case, I'm never excessively drained
to escape away with you
under the blue moon
sing me a children's song
much the same as you
something so genuine
something that relieves
372 · May 2017
The devil's within
Dreamer May 2017
I lay in this place
The devil keeps me here
You don't know what he whispers

Hatred
Envy
Grief
Fear

The devil peddles used wares

Steal it
Hate it
Miss it
Create it

The devil and I lay in bed
Destroying every dream you ever had

Now you know
About heaven and hell
Did you ever wonder
Who tips the scale

There is no escape from
Everything you saw
It is too late now
You shouldn't speak at all

Go to hell
Go to hell
I'll see you there.
359 · May 2017
Fate
Dreamer May 2017
You are the void. You are the emptiness. You are the space. You are the nothingness. You are the silence. You are the meaninglessness. But the good news is -- you can always fill yourself up with anything you want. You can always transform. You can always be flexible. You can always update yourself. And the moment of enlightenment is, when you choose to fill yourself up with love and compassion, joy and bliss, humility and respect. The true discovery is when you realize you are the master of your own fate.
318 · Jul 2017
still..
Dreamer Jul 2017
On nights like this
Nighmares are fierce
Memories of yours clear
When i am twisted in sheets
Its hard to breath, So
On nights like this
I want someone to hold on
So scream out for
My first ray of hope
with all I can
And baby
Its your name that come
All along my twisted tongue
The night after you left
I woke up so broken
The only place to put the pieces
Were the bags under my eyes
And within these hurt
I still love you
No matter what it does
I will never repent you
315 · Oct 2017
Untitled
Dreamer Oct 2017
My soul is parched
Searching for an ancient knowledge
That has been engulfed
In a deep seated, widespread modernization
When poison introduced to the body is being uplifted as medicine
Forgetting to heal
What has been damaged within
As the body speaks to the soul
We are mostly inclined
For an immediate gratification
We have sought to fulfill the physical
But never the internal
Fear may be one of the many factors
In search of light
One has to be blinded by darkness
As Friedrich Nietzsche once said
"If you gaze long enough into the abyss
The abyss will gaze back into you."
How terrifying would it be
To see these monsters
Wearing the same face as you..
275 · Jun 2017
the mist of lonliness
Dreamer Jun 2017
At times I dissipate in the mist of loneliness

Invisible surrounding overladen by haze

Cacophony of unknown voices resonate

Smiling friendly faces appear intermittently​

Soon disappear behind the shadowy clouds

I feel trapped in the moments of twilight

Before the beginning of the darkness

Standing in the middle of a mass

I often feel like a figure without a shadow

An unnoticed and insignificant soul

Wandering lone in a spatial hollow

I feel dead among the innumerable faces

Surviving on this crowded planet

I feel extinct in the world of mechanical friendliness

Where  each step is measured and valued perpetually

I am a little twinkling star lost in the vast galaxy

My gleam obscured by other luminous giants

Eventually the mist of loneliness is unveiled

By my passion for ink which allowed the sunshine

To brighten my dismal days of solitude.
264 · Sep 2017
Untitled
Dreamer Sep 2017
Lost amidst the darkness
I feel most of the times
May be for once I should take the risk of holding "it" or letting go myself
Towards the one dimension way
Hoping i get to meet you
and hug you
Then the visual of dead soul masquearding living smashes my head
I have so many things to do
And what if
What if you deny meeting me?
For I m the reason for brutality you faced
I ve become so dead from the soul
That I don't even have the courage to accept that I m a criminal
A criminal moving freely and who is being loved by people who is actual reason for all their tears
I ve the guilt burning in my chest
And i wanna let it go by coming to you and saying you sorry
But they would never know why i went and shed their tears for me
I m reason for her tears and also for her living
If i tell her she would get hurt
And if i dont she would even more
I know one day all six of us will be having a dinner
And you would tell girl why did you go
They would turn at me
Asking why did i do so?
The question i can't answer neither then nor now
Sooner or later they will abandon me
I truly deserve so
Let me make them smile a bit for now
Only if words didnt come out through
Only if What i thought didnt come true
you would be here disturbing me to write
But i bid you farewell wrapped in white
You would not allow me then
So right now
I'm sorry
I love you
252 · Apr 2017
Missin u
Dreamer Apr 2017
See... Nights are strange... It's a time when you really remember the beautiful moments spent with a special somebody and cherish those moments while being fully aware that you could never be with her... It's a truly mixed feeling of good memories and sad nostalgia ... In the day I try to convince myself she is not mine and it's in my best interest to forget her and let her be with someone she likes now but at night the painful remainder of her memory creeps into mind and I can truly get convinced for the umpteenth time that I can never forget her ever again...
229 · Sep 2016
Untitled
Dreamer Sep 2016
They promised each other to write a story together. But with time he found a story in her. A story so incomprehensible and a story that would remain alive in his soul till eternity.
200 · Apr 2017
Beauty
Dreamer Apr 2017
They said to her, with a voice full of coldness:
"You have a fair face, but you should get rid of those freckles that ruin you!"
She smiled, closed her eyes humbly and answered:
"The night would never be beautiful if there were no stars sparkling and twinkling across its limits. However, I wish you could focus on getting rid of the rudeness that conquers your heart instead."
#beautiful #fair #cold #stars #rude #sparkles #freckles
185 · Apr 2017
Untitled
Dreamer Apr 2017
Some people are simple and they act as crazy. The others act perfectly normal but they are not simple.

— The End —