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Blu3moth Jun 2017
"Where do you see yourself in five years?"
"Hopefully done with college"
"Married with a couple of kids"
"Buying my own house and starting a business"
"No debt. Everything, student loans and car payments gone"
The typical answers to that question
Want to know mine?
I never saw my future as bright
Hell never thought I'll get this far
I can see the end of my path
Where do I see myself in five years?
Depressed if I'm not already
Homeless because of my pride
Jobless because my stupidity
No one to turn to because of my negativity
Love is no where near me
That's the last thing on my mind
After food
After drink
After a roof over my brainless head
There's too much going on
No one will help me
Why would they?
It's all my own fault
So the answer to your question
In a different world
Hopefully a better one
After this one is behind me
917 · Apr 2015
Remembrance
Blu3moth Apr 2015
I remember when you told me you weren't going to live
Pass fourteen

I remember us laughing like it was nothing and I said
"You'll be fine, man"

I remember you letting use your longboard
Then ending up on the floor

The doctors were wrong
You almost turned seventeen
Before you became dirt and memories

I may sound sour
But tough love is all I have to offer

You've done all you can
Now rest up, man
For one of the best friends I ever had
735 · Mar 2015
Pain Not Death
Blu3moth Mar 2015
If we were together

If one of us were to die

I would hope it would be you

Because the pain of losing someone

Is greater than

Any death
702 · Jan 2018
Untitled
Blu3moth Jan 2018
No one feels like family
Not even my own kin
Not my friends
Not my coworkers
No one
Your family is supposed to be who you turn to when you need help
If you're not willing to go to them
They aren't your family
They're just people you grew up with
Who kept you alive
Feeling alone is terrible
Someone once told me I'm strong
I disagree
I'm weak
A coward
Stubborn
Arrogant
Its exhausting being at this alone
One day I just hope I run out of gas
Miles from home
629 · Jul 2017
Side Effects
Blu3moth Jul 2017
Today I got lost while staring up into the popcorn ceiling
Being surrounded by family wasn't enough to hold my attention
Instead I paid a few precious seconds to the ceiling
I can't find the words to help me describe the feeling
I felt whole
The emptiness inside disappeared
For a few seconds I felt what it was like to let go, to let my mind cleanse itself of any emotion
609 · Mar 2015
Patience
Blu3moth Mar 2015
I cried as I saw myself

Losing you

My life is slipping out of your reach

But I realized

My patience

Would pay off

Because I knew one day

We will meet again on the other side

And we can have each other

Forever
566 · Jun 2017
Self Hurt
Blu3moth Jun 2017
You have always hurt me
I haven't seemed helped from your abuse
Truth is
You're the only one that cares about me
You call me ****
Pathetic
Useless
You bash my head against walls because you know there is no use For someone like me
I'm expendable
You can see that
You once told me there's nothing for me in this world
Probably nothing in the next too
I finally agree with you
I always had hope
But you weren't stupid enough to waste your energy
You're right
I did give up a long time ago

Wait
Who am I talking to?
Oh yeah
That's right
I'm the only person in the room
557 · Apr 2015
What I mean is...
Blu3moth Apr 2015
You're just a picture
Whenever I close my eyes I see your ugly face

When I hear our, now my, song
I hear your ghastly voice

I look through my notebook
Just to see what ugly sketches for you I drew

I watch a cover of a song
Remembering the ugly sound you make when my cover made you laugh

I never want to see you again
Missing you will be a sin

I still hate you
Forget about me

I'm done putting this act
What I mean is...
437 · Nov 2015
Sleep
Blu3moth Nov 2015
When buried under stress
From feeling heartbreak, fear, anxiety
Leads you feeling depressed, tired, and useless

There is a place to escape these
Where your pain becomes remedies
This place is called Dream

Lie in your bed
Rest your head
And feel the depression
The tears, the aches, the pain
Be absorbed by the comfort of your bed

Whatever you sleep in
It is more comfortable
Than the world you live in

This world of superiority
Of betrayal
Of lies
Of pain

Nothing else in existence
Is better than Dream
How to get there?

Not with a knife, alcohol, pills
Not with a bullet, or a rope

Take your time
Live through your life
And slowly shed the pain away

You'll realize that life is **** anyways
But look forward to getting into that bed
At the end of the day
433 · Jul 2015
Why am I hated?
Blu3moth Jul 2015
Why am I hated?
I am here in my crowd
Their faces turn when I make a sound
I speak and wave but now I see
They want nothing to do with me
They cry I rush to their comfort
I cry they don't make an effort
I haven't seen so much neglect so far in this time
Why is being me such a crime?

Why am I hated?
I haven't done no wrong
Is it the way I talk?
I haven't had a friend in so long
My mind just like a rock
Trusting nobody in my solo flock
Gonna run and hide until someone decides
I can see the loneliness in your eyes

Why am I hated?
I am just like you
Just a little bit different
425 · Jun 2017
Jellyfish
Blu3moth Jun 2017
Only have one purpose
In this pathetic
Excuse of a life
Wake up
Eat
Sleep
Repeat until beached on the shore
Or
Consumed by others with a mind of their own
Others with a sense of purpose
Motivation
Drive
Just a brainless creature with no conscious
That is what I am
402 · Dec 2017
Untitled
Blu3moth Dec 2017
Silence
Blackness
Speechless
We all die alone
Some people will be used to it
No one to turn to for comfort
Just means less time crying about losing someone
Better that no one knows you to soare them heartache
I prefer it this way
At least I'll be the only one present
The only person who ever gave a ****
Don't let them fool you
They only care about themselves
401 · Jan 2018
Untitled
Blu3moth Jan 2018
Keep on being a ******* idiot
Lie to yourself
Tell yourself that you're beautiful
Tell yourself that you're smart
Tell yourself that you're happy
Anything that you think does not matter
It's what everyone else thinks that shapes you
If they call you stupid
You're stupid
If they say you're hideous
You're hideous
Your "positive attitude" won't get you anywhere
It's not magic
Keep on lying to yourself see where that gets you
396 · Apr 2015
My Savior
Blu3moth Apr 2015
My mind is constantly
Tearing itself apart
Comforts that make me happy
Seem so far

The nightmare of having
Nobody caring for you
Or having the pleasure of dancing
With someone hurts all through

She was the catalyst
Starting disruptions in my mind
Taking away my bliss
Making the world unkind

No one can see my pain
I cover it with a fake smile
Laughing to seem sane
I can't go on many more miles

Someone save me
Help me recover
I want to be happy
Someone be my savior
395 · Oct 2017
No, I Don't Remember Him
Blu3moth Oct 2017
There I am
Standing in front of a busted mirror
Laughing at myself
Because I've come to realize
I'm nothing
And will be remembered as nothing
I want to leave this world
On my own accord
No one will love me
Miss me
They will just be disappointed in me
For the last time
I have no legacy
The words from this
Will be lost in time
No one to pass my stories
Like anyone wants to hear them Anyways
There is no one there for me
I have looked
And looked and looked and looked
Never have I found someone
There is only myself
Myself, a poor excuse of a life
391 · Jun 2017
Untitled
Blu3moth Jun 2017
On a long road
Without destination
No idea where I will end up
Nor what keeps me going
Wish I knew
I want to stop
I'm tired
My eyes slowly closing on me
Almost causing me to crash
Causing me to finally stop
An endless road trip
I don't have a home
Not really
So where will I go?
I wish I knew
I guess what keeps me going
Is the hope that someday
I'll stop somewhere I can call home
I wish I knew where home was
359 · Aug 2017
Untitled
Blu3moth Aug 2017
I'm so ashamed of myself
I do not deserve my last name
I am not worthy enough to
Continue my life
Everything within my arms reach Might as well be destroyed
I deserve only
My loneliness to keep me whole
My reflection to befriend me
My cries to sing me to sleep
Take my ability to walk
Someone else can make better use of it
Take my sight
I only see darkness anyways
Take my hearing
I don't deserve beautiful sounds
I'm lost
Why can't I find my way?
Everything is cluttered
I stumble and fall with every step
That's the only thing I'm good at
I miss who I used to be
Blu3moth Jul 2015
Why do you keep your feelings suppressed?
Is it because you're embarrassed?

Just let it all out even if you have to shout
I would help as best I can without a doubt

Don't take your life
Let's talk it out and you'll see how much you can strive
Dedicated to a friend. And those who are in need of help.
Blu3moth Aug 2018
When I die
I want to be able to be there
To laugh at the ******* act of everyone
Acting like they gave a ****
Saying that they always loved me
Never once even showing it
I want to see the sad look on their faces
When they see the dead look in mine
Acting like they knew me
There are farms with less **** in them

Who am I kidding
No one will show
And that's how I expect it to be
324 · Jul 2017
The Librarian
Blu3moth Jul 2017
Hmm, where does this book go?
**** it
It's so frustrating
I cant find a genre to put it in
Its so.....What's the word?
Puzzled
It's sad
It's happy
It's angry
Poorly written
No clear conflict
I'm gonna have to throw this somewhere
I can't just leave it out
Okay, well it's not a fantasy
Definitely not a comedy
Tragedy is more like it
This book started out so good
But then it's like all the problems
From the first quarter of the chapters
Just turned into one big one
It makes no sense
I thought that they were resolved
That the protagonist had moved on
Why would the author make such a damaged character?
Nothing ever looks up for him
It's such a sad book now that I think about it
Wonder what kind of person the author was
Wow, not even a picture
Ohh...that's explains alot
Poor guy committed suicide
No wife or kids either
Hard to believe that this even got published
It's an autobiography
I'll do everyone a favor and hide it toward the back
No one wants to waste their time reading it like I did
318 · Aug 2017
Blank
Blu3moth Aug 2017
In front of me?
To my left?
How about my right?
What have I to live for?
When all I do is look
For love and find nothing
I can't remember the last time my help was needed
When I mattered
Little has happened to me
That's the problem
No one loved me
Hated me
Asked for my help
Ive no motivation
To live or to die
For a cause
Or for someone
I need a reason
Anything just one
To keep me going
But at this rate
I will be forgotten
Till I am nothing
301 · Apr 2015
I...Me
Blu3moth Apr 2015
Even though I stand beside them

My friends do not acknowledge me

Do not listen to me

Do not help me

I have done nothing but good and they still treat me hostile

I have known them for decades and they still treat me like a stranger

They will not see me

Only when I am dead and gone

Will they notice I was there all along
298 · Oct 2017
No Expectations
Blu3moth Oct 2017
I don't believe in anything
There is no happiness without money
No love
No higher power to turn to
No reasons to stay alive and wait for the better
There is nothing
Why must I work hard for others and be selfless?
To die tired?
Life is a never ending cycle of nothing that matters
So I sit here and try to think about the good
It all rots away
The bad stays
It always will
The world is a ****** place for those with hope
Let nothing fill up the dreams
That way when you realize you're nothing
You won't be so disappointed
294 · Jan 2018
Untitled
Blu3moth Jan 2018
There is no worse feeling
Then when you know everything is going to ****
Then someone comes along and tells you "everything's gonna be alright"
Is someone important to me dead?
No
Financial issues?
Not really
But this constant feeling of being alone
Is like a **** plague
It feeds off the rest of me trying to live
Killing me bit by bit
Taking everything I love away from me
Mentally and emotionally
Can't pick up a camera, all your pictures are ****
**** that pencil, you can't draw
***** your dreams, welcome to reality
Where everything is work work work
Until you quit quit quit
The realest thing in the world
Is you and your pathetic self
292 · Apr 2015
Plastic Bottle
Blu3moth Apr 2015
Hello my "friend"
I see you have been molded out
By the needs of our modern society
You are a copy of what you see
As original
As normal
As smart
As plastic
Out of the two of us
I say you're the freak
You no longer have a mind
Of your own
Your once beautiful mind
Now belongs to the person whom
Had known the most popular girl at the time
Since when was it cool to not think for yourself?
You will ruin your future
For what?
A few hundred likes?
A few highs?
A few drinks?
What happened to the people I grew up with?
Are we so rare that we are labeled as hostile?
Weird?
Freaks?
Stupid?
Now you may think going against the mainstream is mainstream
It may be
It may not
But it is the correct stream
You are the plastic that pollutes our rivers, oceans, and lakes
You are the type of people that ask what's wrong with society
Look in the mirror
Don't follow someone who you think is superior to you
Listen to yourself for once
Listen to the people you don't want to listen to
Maybe you'll learn something from them
You fill your plastic bottle with bias opinions
From others bottles
Empty it out
Dip your bottle into a fresh water river
And see just how much greater it is
292 · Jun 2017
Untitled
Blu3moth Jun 2017
You pretend to know me
But have you really seen me
What I am on the inside
Wanting my outsides to die
My insides have gone long ago
Dying is just way too slow
Go on with your lives
I'll look out for you
Making sure you get what you want
Not thinking twice about what I sought
Until it's too late
To see if you would participate
In my needs
In my wants
In my life
Words from my mouth will preach forgiveness
But it's a lie
They preach that you forget this
You pretend to be sad
At my burning
At my suffocating
Wishing there was something you could do
Then you hate yourself
I looked for help under a disguise of boredom
You ignored me
I shared my feelings
You pushed them away
You despise yourself
Because you know I wouldn't have
Ignored you
Pushed you
Gave the attention needed
To stop you
From becoming what I see in the mirror
244 · Mar 2015
Same
Blu3moth Mar 2015
One day we will look at the same sun
The same cloud

One night we will look at the same moon
The same star

And when we do
We'll think of each other
193 · Jul 2017
Untitled
Blu3moth Jul 2017
I'm stupid
I'm a nuisance
I'm useless
I'm sad
I'm angry
I'm ugly
I feel as if my life has brought a tumor into the lives of those around
I'm a leech for affection but I give none in return
I let myself be stepped on to feel useful to others
Use me
Use me
Use me
I can't do anything
A punching bag will do
The idea doesn't sicken me
Bury me under a tree
Make use of me
At least I'll be finally doing my part
In this world
186 · Nov 2017
Untitled
Blu3moth Nov 2017
I can't go on feeling alone
There are people who say they are there for me
But are they really?
They say they care but that's only a bandage
It'll fall off sooner or later
I want them away from me
I push people away
Make them hate me
So when I do pass
I'll finally make them happy
Good riddance
185 · Aug 2018
Untitled
Blu3moth Aug 2018
I don't see my life going on much longer
I'll be alive but no longer with anyone
No longer will this black cloud hover over me
I take my leave
Maybe someday I'll decide to return
With a clear head
Then again
That's all just a dream
Make me disappear

— The End —