I kind of feel sad today. Doctor says I have depression, and well...I believe him. My dad thinks its just for attention attention, uh? I always feel ******. It's an everyday part of my life now. See, today someone stole my laptop charger at school, and my project got stolen, too. I've never cut in my life. I've never done drugs. I've drank a few times, but who hasn't? I think I'm suicidal. But I can't wrap my head around death. It scares me. So instead of dying, I tear myself to pieces wishing for it to come, but never speeding up the process I feel ******. I said that before. Like, I follow a Shepard. I'm a little lamb but my blood seeps through my white wool. Until eventually, this little lamb is killed. **** I'm sorry. I ramble I never make sense. And they wonder why I am suicidal. Last night, there was a party. Instead of going, I bounced a tennis ball back and forth against my wall. fun, right? I hate the world, but I'm scared to leave it. Doctors don't help, mothers don't help Friends don't help being single sure as hell doesn't help I just feel ******.