Each time I think I'm at my breaking point, I catch my breath
And then I'm hit again with the feeling that I don't fit in here
That my every breath is one too many

Why do I have to exist in a world of feeling
When all that's there is misery
What did I do in my past life that was so wrong
That it forced me to lead this life of loneliness?

Now that I'm pushed to suffocation
How do I hold on to this final straw?
All the rest are gone so what's the point of holding on?

The closer people get to me the faster they seem to walk away
When I find someone I can confide in, show my vulnerability
They can't even tell and I guess that's what's wrong with me

My words are cold and lackluster
They leave you feeling confused
Questioning their motive

I try to hard to be fair and unperceivable
Because the moment I am perceived they see I'm full of flaws
No one stays around long enough to prove me wrong

A toast to the two of us
Left behind, forgotten over time
Used as pawns of pleasure and tossed aside
Maps to hidden treasures abandoned after the journey

A toast to the two of us
On this day where we are one
Where I see you
And you see me

Ariadne
A toast to you,
For no particular reason

A toast to us,
For all that we can be
Let the stars commemorate this day
So for eternity we can see it
Carved into the sky
And no one will ever forget or use you again

A toast to us,
For all that we will be
Let my love be enough for you
To quell your tears and give you joy forever
To Hades and back, my dedication to you is eternal

Motivation lies beneath the surface of my skin
Peel it back and let the deprecation sink in
But where do we begin?
From the fingertips where all my mistakes are made?
Underneath my shoulders where all my burdens are carried?
The flesh of my chest where my beating heart laments?
Or perhaps behind my face, see what lies beneath the mask?
Where do we begin, to see what lies within?

Is it guilt that drives you?
Am I some sort of obligation?
My future that dangles on a tightrope
Balancing between credit cards and report cards
Feels like cheese in a mousetrap
What if I don't want this?
What if this is my only way to run away
To free myself from these chains used to drown me
If you want me to succeed
Then why after every step forwards
You force me to walk two steps back
Backing me against a wall of needles
Nowhere to turn or run but forward
But their selfish hands press my back against the wall
Through blood and tears I grit my teeth against the pain
Is this what unconditional love is like?
Is trust only built through hurt?

Yes, my cage has open doors
But the demons who lurk outside
Make the damask interior feel like safety

My heart flutters
My eyes tear up
My stomach drops
My body tingles
Suddenly these foreign fleeting feelings
Are mine to unravel, uncover and unite

He was like an ambrosia flavored poison
Tastes so good but rots you from inside out

"I'll just suffer" became my catch phrase because I learned from you that if I ask for help I will not recieve it. In it's stead I will recieve unkind words, judgment and beratement for all the things I already acknowledged my failure in and already feel bad enough about. That burden is acid in my mouth, it's the reason I can't sleep at night. Knowing that if I come to you for help another obstacle will fall before me.

I have learned that I can't turn to my parents to help or be proud of me. You will never be my encouragement or my acceptance. In your stead I have to turn to my friends, to their parents. Because you simply will not bring me to the surface when I'm drowning. You let me sink and tell me to drown so I know how bad it hurts. So instead I will reach my hands to those who will pull me above the water and teach me how to swim and keep afloat.

You're selfish, it's something I have to live with. You think that because you have suffered that others can't. And when they haven't suffered enough they can't desire or seek help. You are allowed to run away and escape the pressure but you force me to take it all on my shoulders. You are the rock and chain that drowns me.

Have you ever loved something so much
That you would do any task
Give up any possession
To chase what no one else could see?

In your heart
Have you ever held something so precious
That you would teach a fish to fly
Just to keep it within your grasp?

In my life I accomplished everything I was told I couldn't
I put myself below no one, I refused to face any discrimination
Because with my art I could make the invisible seen to all
I could change emptiness into brilliance
And I could capture an ephemeral moment and make it immortal

I was told countless times to give up for I was destined to fail
But I'd rather have tried and failed
Than live my life regretting that I never did
I am no coward, my paintbrush is my sword
And my canvas is my battlefield

For my art I would turn nothingness into magic
Because with my art I could make magic tangible

Isn't it messed up
The way I only feel like somebody
The only time I truly feel real
Is when I'm someone else
In a daydream that never ends

The concept of me, of now
Is so far and distant
It echos from somewhere deep inside me
Somewhere I can't find
Somewhere I don't look

How can I do or be what's expected of me
When that person doesn't exist
How can I be the perfect child
When the only freedom I've ever known
Is when I lock myself in my minds cage?

How can I comfort someone
When all I know are phantom hugs?
How do I feel success
When every accomplishment I've achieved
Has never been enough?

What future do I look to
When all my dreams are trampled on
By people who can't see what I do, but know better
Why is life only worth living
When I block it out with make-believe?

How could I spell out love when it is absent of her name?
The way her eyes reflected a sunrise
She was like honey in the sky
I was bewitched

She was a masterpiece drawn with starlight
An ivory sculpture crafted by the hand of a god
I remember the time I was blessed by that smile
A vilified promise

There are many things I cannot do
More are there things I do not understand
Countless are the things I do not know
But what I can do, what is tangible for me
I imagine in the palm of my hand
And lock within my fist, it's bottomless cage
What I do understand, I wrap around me
Like a chrysalis, a sheild of safety
And it protects me, my ward against the world
However what I know, that I do not covet
I give that away to passerbys, to strangers and friends
Like a sage, a mentor or philosopher

Perhaps things like emotions escape me
As my heart abandons feelings
The ones that pass through my fingertips
From my pen to paper
But writing is what I hold within my fist
It is how I makes sense of the world
It is every one of my senses
I see, taste, touch, smell and hear
Through a world beyond words
Like a magic veil, I see into anothers conscience
All the things they hold dear, what they cannot live without
All the things they regret, what they wish would wash away
In even the faintest moment and smallest thing

I feel all those emotions of which I've never known
But more than that I feel one thing that I can call my own
The passion, I feel that tearing through my bones
I can feel it burning in my lungs and my heart becomes a hearth in a cabin of nothing
For a moment I am filled with warmth like no other
And that feeling is one I'd chase to the ends of the Earth
Into the darkest chasm and within the brightest light
For it is the only one thats real within my world

She painted words that flew like Eros' golden arrows
Straight through the hearts of all they reached
Timeless ethereal words of feeling
That no other could capture in such brilliance
A tenth muse proclaimed by Plato
How could one write such words of passion and  romance
Without some blessing from the gods above?
Had Apollo himself whispered in her ear all the ways beauty could be described?
How a gentle touch can be painted in song?
How strong were the blessing of Aphrodite,
To burn such deep emotions into the heart of the poet

Love had guided Sappho through life and so it guided her out
Her heart leapt far across the sea
So far and yet for once
They could not reach the one she wanted
And as she fell from the seaside cliff
Her essence remained
Within the words she wrote
Within the notes the lyre played
Sappho remained, heart shining through
Perpetually enlightening the world
With her pulchritudinous words of love

I wanted the world to see through my eyes
I desperately longed to share the beauty I'd seen
But how could I hope to ever capture such sights in writing?
The way love takes your breath away,
How could I share the feeling without cliche?
In what way could I hope alone to share the feeling of ecstasy that comes from redamancy?

I look into the eyes of those who hear my words
Do they feel it?
My heart, can they hear it?
Do they see love in all her glory?
And I see it, the glimmer of excitement
The anticipation and nerves,
How they squirm and giggle
And in that moment I know
My heart has reached them

I feel captive, hostage, trapped and bound
Within the corners of my own mind
Deep within my skin

I feel like there  is no exit sign, no escape, no doors or windows
But I feel so free
Like I can be, do, see or say anything at all

I push everything aside
Tell my heart and mind that I don't feel a thing
I turn my senses off and I escape

I go where no one else can see
I know people I've never met
And I've been places no ones dreamt

But I  can't help it
I can't turn it off
I can't escape when I dissociate

I am a prisoner inside my mind
I've been hurt and this is how I cope
But I don't feel anything

I only feel the feelings of someone I am not
Someone I can never be
I have memories of someone foreign living in my skin

But I can't help it
I need to leave, pause, reset and breath
I can escape when I dissociate

I want to take your hand
walk together on the oceans shore till dusk
hike along the mountainside to see the sunrise
I don't want to be alone
So I'll take you with me where I go

I want to take your hand
But it's not there for me
All I have is the memory
I don't want to be alone
So i'll take it with me where I go

I want to turn back time
I'll make things right
till there's no sorrow left
I'll keep you captive in my dreams
When I slip away inside my head
I don't like to be alone
So i'll keep you right here by my side

I want to take your hand
But it's not there for me
All I have is make believe
I don't want to be alone
So I'll stay like this inside my mind

I'm like a hostage in my skin
All the feelings
If I keep them deep within
If I stay quiet like a doll
Will you take my hand
Will you stay like this by my side?

I don't want to be alone
So I'll treat my heart just like a stone
All I have are memories of false realities
I don't want to be alone
So I'll treat myself just like a stone

I love my wife
A fact so many overlook and don't believe
When I see something beautiful my first thought is Hera
Our marriage is everything to me
Hera is my reason, my judgement, my rationality
She is my freedom, my understanding, my sentiment

I am the king of Gods
I know things no mortal could understand
I know of hero's who will be and who must
And I know that it is my blood that must flow
Into those mortal veins to make them strong as Ares
Fast as Hermes and as smart as Athena
I know there is no other way

My beloved Hera,
She forgives me for what I must do
But her heart is broken, shattered and crumbled
I see it fall apart more and more, my own a shallow reflection
To hold her all together, to make her whole-
My most selfish desire after all I've done

To see her happiness shine through those cracks
Fleeting now, unlike the time before we had such responsibility
Before hero's were needed, before duty and divinity
Back when the world was new and it was simply the two of us
Hera and Zeus
When her heart shone so bright it nearly blinded me
I took one look at her and I saw something no mortal could
Something no fleeting romance could give me

I saw the Heavens in her eyes, I saw paradise

They call me ugly and shun me, hide me from their sight
But they don't know what true beauty is
True beauty is the sunset of my forge
The artistry of my blades
All the passion and dedication in my armor
True beauty is seen in my presence
But it's a sight for only those who are worthy
For someone who wants to appreciate real beauty
Must be someone willing to look where others won't

What separates me from my wife is beauty
It's what separates putrid and clean, fragrant and rotten
But that is just the base of the reality
True, unfiltered beauty is unconventional
It's the sound of metal on metal
The feeling of heat embracing you like a blanket
It's not an appearance, but a feeling
True beauty is irrational, it can't be reasoned
You can list a million reasons why Aphrodite is beautiful
But when it comes to describing love your words stumble
Because beauty is something so unimaginable that there are no words
There is no rationality or reason
Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder
It is in the eyes of those who are willing to look beyond tangibility

Yes, I am a woman
We're forced to say it like a curse
Because the moment we are discovered
Evil eyes of all sorts gaze upon us, questioning and curious

Is she beautiful?
Is her skin like porcelain?
Her hair, is it soft like silk?
Do her eyes shine like the stars?
And her virtue above all else, is she pure?

Men compare us to treasure as if it's a compliment
Saying our eyes are like sapphires and emeralds
To them we are silk and gold
Nothing more than measurements of their wealth
It's as if they think we won't find out it's just another way to measure our worth,
As if they think we can't understand that it isn't a compliment, it's a currency

They don't see my warrior gaze
My impenetrable skin, thick with valor
They look at my hands and see a delicate doll
They don't see the way these delicate hands wrap around my bow
How my eyes are sharp and steady
No, they only see the innocent sparkle

They aren't looking for my capabilities
They seek value in my appearance alone
They are putting prices on me,
Comparing me to the latest trends
For what is my courage worth when I have such a beautiful face?

Yes, I am a woman
But I am a warrior first
See my battle scars, see my victories
See my strength and bravery
My honor, see it an recognize me

I am the protector of women
Not because they can't defend themselves
But because they shouldn't have to
I am the one who shows the truth
Who guides the moonlight into their veins
The one who takes away those sparkling lies
For before my eyes, no woman will bend to the whims of man

It's a slow poison
It's the sound of a certain cracking
That can't be placed to any specific memory
A sound so nostalgic and familiar
It's the sound that takes the place
Of laughter and lullaby
The sound is a million tiny cracks
In a broken mosaic glass
Like a spiderweb that holds
Every feeling of hurt in each tiny crevice
One day enough pressure will be applied
To completely shatter
Your fragile glass heart
And that cracking sound
Will be the last you hear

I see a rainbow sea of people
I see your culture; your history
I see your pain; your fear

I don't want to erase the battles you've won
I don't want to belittle your fight
I don't want to erase your uniqueness

I want to see a painting with the colors of life
I want to recognize your diversity; your struggles
I want to see your healing; your relief

I don't want blissful ignorance
I want to see the truth

I tried to burn you with the Two of Cups
I hoped it would stop my love for you
But I didn't have the heart to let you go
So I fell asleep with the Three of Swords
I gripped the Lovers tightly to my chest
And hoped it'd some how stop the pain

You were the Magician and I was the Fool
I would always follow you right off the cliff
And like magic you would just keep walking
The same magic that carried you away from me
You just kept walking and I kept on falling for you

I was the Empress, but you weren't the Emperor
I was the Queen of Wands, but you weren't my King
I was the Hanged Man, you were the World and Wheel
I was a reversed Chariot, falling endlessly in love with you
and you were the Ten of Swords, you weren't ready to receive
The Ace of Cups overflowing with my love and adoration

But I am temperance, I can wait and back away

My life feels like it's hanging by a thread
I've pushed away all my stress and worry
And now it surrounds me everywhere I look
It's like I'm tight-roping over the river of Styx
And all my fears, concerns and doubts
Are reaching for me
Like desperate hungry hands
Searching for their relief
Like the hands of those souls
Begging for a release

But where exactly is my relief?
Where does the end of this rope land?
Tartarus or the Elysian Fields?
Will I make it to my Elysium
Or will I bathe in the sea of souls?
Will I bear the Curse of Achilles
Or will I be trapped there myself?
All the worries that surround me
Make me feel like diving in
Isn't so bad

You took the Sanderson sisters seriously
When they said "I put a spell on you"
You were there taking detailed notes
For the day our eyes would meet
Because since yours met mine
I've been living inside a trance
An endless dream
Where you ask me my name
And I give you my number
But April love
I can work some magic too
I can make the seasons change
And I'll have time stand on it's head
I will take your breath away
Just like you did to me
When you walked my way
I will steal your heart with my words
I'll keep you captive in my heart
And lock you there with my lips

They are like sirens
Luring me in with so much temptation
With their eyes like paradise
And not a single lie hiding inside
Their smiles bright like lightning
And no crooked or wolfish grin at all
Their delicate bodies like porcelain
So fragile and deadly
Like a drop of poison and a butterfly wing
They make me fall without words at all
Oh but when they speak it sounds like fiction

They are so pure they make me want to cry
I'm under a hypnosis, it's just a trick
But their sweetness, it draws me in
They are like roses with their skin soft like petals
And their nails as sharp as thorns

How lovely, how beautiful
How sick does this make me now?
Now that I'm so torn
How can I cope with so much confusion?
They're like devil's with their haunting eyes
What demons-
Those seductresses with their adoring curse

How lovely, how sweet
How is it I've missed this puzzle piece?
I didn't even notice I was incomplete
Does this make up for the uncertainty?
They're like angels with their paradise eyes
What blessings-
Those treasures with their electric cure

My hands dance across the spiderwebs of fate
My eyes see inside, above and below
They see into now, never, before and beyond
My hands paint the pictures of possibility
They unfold the stories that no other knows

A possible future
A distant past
A painful present

My, I see it all within your palm
With my cards, my stones and with my pendulum
I know all as I read
The leaves, the bones, the flames and smoke

I have all these tools at my disposal
To uncover mysteries far beyond my mortal sight
And yet somehow I never see
What is standing right in front of me

As a child I was told to never speak about my faith
I felt such fear and shame when my mother said those words
Will they truly burn me at the stake?
My mind was trapped in innocent confusion

I went to church with my grandmother as a child too
They told me my soul would be ****** to hell if I don't bow my head and pray
They said trust in the Lord for I am his child, or sin like Lucifer and be punished in purgatory
With such threats what was I to think?
My love of the moon, kindness to the spirits and adoration for the Earth-
Will it truly make me a sinner, will I really rot in hell?

I bit my tongue and closed my eyes
When I was asked if I believed in God
For I could never say I did
And I feared saying I did not
It felt like I'd be killed on the spot
All because I believed what they did not

As I grew up my fear remained
It felt like a secret, my soul felt tainted
But as time passed on that fear subsided
If it is my belief then why must I hide?
When that thought emerged I felt relief
If my pentacle means safety and protection to me
Why must I hide it from the ones who wear the crosses which mean the same?

My religion is not wrong
My belief is mine and mine alone
It took so long to understand these things that should be common sense
Because since early on I was told that I was wrong
But I removed the veil of lies that covered my eyes
I broke free from the chains of doubt and fear
And I ran from the expectations of society that bound me

I dwelled there for so long, suffocating in my 'sins'
As a child I had to feel like a criminal
When all I wanted to be
Was a child of the Goddess,
wrapped in her loving light

To my moon-kissed brothers and sisters
Hold yourself high with confidence
We are the strongest force known to mankind
For we've walked through fires just to be heard
We've raced through shadows and sung under stars
So we could be free

Come dance with me under the moon
As we manifest our dreams
Our intentions true
Our spells be carried through
If it is our will, so mote it be

And when their flames embrace our bones
as they vilify our souls and condemn our bodies,
we will hum our songs of virtue and light
for we walk the path of honest faith with no room for doubt

As they light us up like fireflies upon their pyres,
Let us smile to our Lord and Lady, our Gods and Goddesses
We will show no fear as they stare holes into our hearts
for we have magic in our blood and mystery in our eyes
We who dance with demons and fancy the fae
Spare no time to those with ill intent and hateful minds

With no fear or worry we are the awakened ones
aware to the world beyond and within our own
We stand hand in hand with mother nature, with Lady Gaia herself
With glory we travel to Valhalla, the Elysian Plains and the Fields of Aaru

They can light their fires to satisfy their hunger for our blood
But brave children of the moon,
they can never have our valiant courage nor our souls
they can never taste our magic or see the astral
because we allow ourselves to soar above what can be seen
above what we are told is intangible
We climb the towers of our minds
and rise to our higher selves

We chant our songs like sirens blessed by Apollo
We won't bend or break because they call us sinners
Sinners in who's eyes? I refuse to kneel to a bloodied faith
We will not shatter with their looks of disgust
We will not crumble under their evil eye
We will kiss the hands of fate and spit in their naïve eyes

We are the blessed ones who tower above the wicked
For we are the sons and daughters of the witches they could not bind or banish
We are the children of the moon who bow to none
We are the ones who will rise like a phoenix from their fires
For we are the witches who refuse to burn

He's married to misfortune
bewitched by the pain
those cruel and unwelcoming eyes
tore him limb from limb
his trust disposed of
like a used and worn down crutch
crumbled down so small
till it could be carried away on the wind
he dissolved until
all he had left to call his own
was a shriveled piece of hope
caught inside a spiderweb
of fear and deception

I tore through the silk of insecurities
I fought through all the lies
till my arms were numb and heavy
I carried his hope
cradled in my arms
like a newborn baby
and when I found him
laying in his chasm of dispair
he turned from the light
but I stood my ground
I held him without a sound
I held onto his withered form
in my weary auspicious arms
until he turned around and
at last embraced himself in forgiveness
and reclaimed his hope once more

But I've been wed to 'almost'
a sly hex placed on me
where I almost get to cherish him
I almost get to erase his burdens
where I almost take his worries in my hands
and bury them in my own
I almost have the right to ease his mind
I almost get to be more
than a healing hand
a refracted beacon of light
where I almost get to hold him
where I almost get to stay by his side
till the stars become one with the Earth
I almost get to sheild him from loneliness
I almost get to protect him
and guard his traumatized heart

A curse so fowl and deep
that he is always almost within my reach
yet our hands can never seem to touch
where I almost get to dry his tears
where I almost help him see his worth
I almost get to save him
from all those unkind words
that slip from his mind and out his mouth
that leave those marks across his heart
I almost stop those cruel voices
full of betrayal and envy
But worst of all I must live with the everyday
realization that had I been
just a little more selfish...
He was almost mine

I'm not good with hello's or goodbyes
because when you are someone as invisible
as a whisper on the wind
as the atoms in our skin
or a melody trapped within
there's no one waiting to greet you
and no one there to leave you

I'm just a cellophane wrapped scream
waiting to be heard,
waiting to be seen

If letting go was an easy thing
Then like balloons we'd all be mindlessly drifting
With no hand to hold us, to ground us
We'd soar higher and higher
With no thought of ever coming down

Who'd ever want to come back down to Earth once they've lived among the stars anyway?

They say in love you go by personal tastes
Love can taste sweet like strawberries and honey
Or bitter like a freshly cut lemon on your tongue

What flavor was our love, do you think?
I think it was like apple slices and nutella
Healthy, but a little too sweet to be sure

Or maybe it was mint chocolate-chip ice cream
Fresh and sweet, the outcast that so few love
I'm not sure quite what it was, but I still crave that taste

The least you could have done was make me hate you
Give me a reason to curse at your name
A reason to get angry and say things i'll regret

You couldn't have left me with anger or resentment
No, what you did was worse than a thousand paper cuts
Worse than wearing wet socks after getting caught in the rain
And far worse than sticking a hand in an open flame

You left me with a heart full of love, desire and longing
You left me with all this wanting and wishing
With daydreams that can never and will never be
Like a diamond hanging on a rope right in front of me
On a cliff, just out of reach with a little note that says
'This is not for you, but nice attempt'

You walked away but you took nothing with you
You didn't take my feelings away
You left them with me and for that I wish I could hate you
Hate you for leaving me with this love I have no right to feel
Hate you for the golden outlines your footprints left behind
Hate you for the final farewell I didn't want to hear
But it's not your fault that I can't let go of these pieces of you

It's all because you were mine
You were my favorite gem
And our love was a blossoming garden

'Were' and 'Was'
Such ugly words

Every time I open up my camera gallery
My eyes stop on the folder with your name
Why are you so hard to erase?
My finger hovers above 'delete'
But I never follow through

I still walk around with thoughts of you
'Wouldn't it be fun if he were here?'
I'll think and then recall
That I can't daydream about you and me anymore
And what really breaks my heart
Is thinking of the written words you never saw

I almost want to curse at you for not breaking my heart
Because your kindness is the worst part
How do you let go of something good for you?
How do you forget the smiles that they gave you?
How do you expect me to cope with all these pieces of you?

Little bird, little bird
Always on my mind
Little bird, little bird
How could I make you mine?

You made a nest inside my heart
Where you could rest your head
and feel at home
But you spread your wings one day
and flew away
Soaring high, so gleefully free
And when you looked back for me-
I guess you flew too far away

Little bird, oh little bird
Won't you find your way back to me?
Little bird, little bird
Don't you hear me calling out your name?
Little bird, oh little bird
I guess it's time I let you go
You can't soar inside a cage
It will only bring you down

So fly high little bird, fly high
Chase those dreams only you can see
Spread those wings, I've set you free
Fly high little bird, little bird fly high
Fly high little bird, little bird fly high

I can't keep you in my heart
A caverns not fit for a lark
You can't keep singing in the dark
But I can see you in my dreams
and together we'll fly
Till then

Fly high little bird, fly high
Reach for those diamonds in the sky
Close your eyes and feel the light
Fly high little bird, little bird fly high
Fly high little bird, little bird fly high

May nothing bring you down again

When I let you go
It felt like a hurricane trailed through my body
As if my heart had a cave-in

You said you were glad I was being mature about it
I know you were thankful for the sacrifice
And I know you needed time to fix your health

But I wasn't mature at all
Behind the apathy and silence
Behind the sweetness and indifference
I was watching acres of flowers wilt before me

All I could do was watch our garden die
Even though you never sprayed any pesticide
And there was no lack of water
No lack of sunshine or warmth
There was nothing wrong-
It was only the remnants of shattered hope that poisoned the soil and rotted the roots

I loved you like a melody loves to be sung
Like a poem loves to be read
Or how a performer loves the spotlight

I treasured you like a person treasures their first love
Like a dragon treasures it's jewels
Or how Yin treasures Yang

I felt safe with you like a child in their mothers arms
Like a Princess feels safe with her Knight
Or how a caterpillar feels safe inside it's chrysalis

I've missed you the way the sea misses the shore
The way a flower misses spring
Or how a caged lion misses the Savannah

I long for you like a droughted land longs for rain
Like an idea longs for creation
Or how pain longs for release

I fell for you like a raindrop from the sky
Like a tear from the eye
Or how a snowflake melts into a warm palm

And I'd still silence your storms
Make the world wait for you
Hold your hand till you feel fine
Change the darkness into a blinding dawn
Bloom a rose in the snow

But I walk away from you like a Knight swears an oath
Like a King protects his country
Or how a poor mother gives her child away

I crumble for you like a Kingdom turned to ash
Like a child under pressure
Or how sand falls through an hourglass

I sacrifice for you, like a lover for their beloved

She's a reflection of those who survived great pains
Shes what every person who's ever been hurt wishes they could have turned into
Turned their pain and bitterness into redemption and possibility as she did
Transformed their trauma and loss into kindness and dreams
But not everyone has a fairy godmother
Not everyone can hum and smile away the hurt as she does
But she smiles as if she didn't cry herself to sleep every night
As if she didn't wish upon every star to save her
As if she didn't beg her dreams to stay just a moment longer
As if her loneliness didn't drive her to madness as the mice and birds began to feel like family

But she gave them hope in ways no one else could
Hope that one day they can smile away every trace of a tormented past
Hope that one day poets will write sonnets in their name
Hope, it was her gift to the broken

I've never loved the story of Cinderella
She's a girl who is know for her courage and kindness
But I think she mistook courage for defeat

Courage is fighting for what you deserve, for what is right and just no matter what stands in your way
But she never did any of that
She slaved away for a decade, working her hands to the bone
Covered herself head to toe in soot like a cloak of safety
And she never complained

That was her version of courage
Accepting pain to avoid the discomfort or disruption of others by sacrificing herself
This is not courage, this is weakness

Cinderella should have thrown down her broom
Stood with her head high and if a hand were raised to her let her raise a hand back
Let her speak with defiance and justice
But Cinderella never did such a thing
She worked herself day in day out
And cried when the possibility of freedom slipped away

Cinderella was not the hero of of her own story
She was a girl waiting to be saved
She had no courage in her, only fear and helplessness
She may have been kind, but save herself she did not

Mental and emotional wounds are invisible, but a wound is still felt by those they inflict
Just like a tiny cut, you still feel the pain even if you can't see it
Just like the cancer beneath your flesh and in your brain, it still eats away at you

These are wounds that don't heal or go away if you apply pressure or put a bandaid over
There is no stitch that can put your broken heart and wounded mind back together
You walk with this pain
Feel it in every step and passing look

The goosebumps on your arms
The trembling of your hands
The darkness behind your eyes
The apathy in your voice
You can't see the wound, but sometimes you can see the symtoms

You can't feel the pain another feels
You can't see it but that doesn't mean it isn't there
You can't see a cough or a virus as it courses its way through your body
But that doesn't mean they aren't real

We carry these invisible scars with us
And they never truly go away or fade

Everyone loses their way
Lost in their chasmic minds
Lost in their bismol worlds
Lost in their abysmal emotions
Some find a light to guide their way
A melody; a sign; a feeling
Others search for a distraction
Someway to forget the failure and lose the guilt
But for me, Hermes guides my path
Like a soul into Hades,
He always brings me home
Back from my friendly worm named Loneliness
Back from my terrible sense of direction
Back from my endless attempts at self sabotage
He makes me see the truth; the reality; the destination

Everyone is all so full of deceit and corruption
Pleasing themselves by pleasing others
Becoming someone else to be above all others
Blinded by envy and seething with a jealous rage
They hold out their open hands to me
But he whispers in my ear
"It's all a lie"
And I keep my hand down by my side
And watch as they go to the next person
Holding their hands out just the same
And chaining the gullible fools with honeyed words and empty promises
Binding to them now like a contract over their souls
Enslaved to the whims of the corrupt

He has me dream of lands across the sea
Speaking a tongue that is not mother to me
I fall in love with these foreign things
The sights he sends me, the sounds, the smells
All the excitement of leaving to somewhere new
With no fear of the unknown, trusting only
In the path on which he guides me
I see it now, so far away
I reach my hand out and I feel it on my fingertips
I close my eyes and the words slip into my mind
With every phrase I learn, the freer I become
And I walk his path with knowledge I am safe

In meditation he guides me
On a starlit beach I find myself sinking my feet into the sand
Swiftly he approaches with a grin
He holds his hand out to me and I feel at ease
No strings or "you-owe-me's" await
And with winged feet he sends me back
Gently placing me in my body
And I awaken safe and sound

When our love died
It's blood fell into the blessed earth
And from that drop sprung the fauna of our hearts
Sunflowers and Primroses grew in every place we've walked
Trailing back to the deathbed of Marigolds, Pink carnations and lovely Chrysanthemums
But what only you can see
Is the trail of Forget-Me-Nots
Leading back to me

Breaking up with someone mutually
Knowing you both still love eachother endlessly
Feels like your whole body is grieving
My heart and fingers are shaking
And my eyes are stinging from the mascara mixing with tears
The worst part of it is that I'm not sad or angry
I know I'm okay, but unfortunately my heart isn't as rational as my brain

You don't have to worry, I'm okay

If all the wrong doings and doers that have or will come to me
Were to hand over a key to their destruction before they leave
I'd melt it down to nothing so they never again feel that initial fear
I'd never allow such weakness to remain in these moments tied to pain
For from within every weakness either strength or evil is released
So as I melt away the demons fears, so too myself have I reprieved

When did I become a second thought to you?
I always put you first
I assumed you did the same
I thought I'd at least be a second thought
Perhaps a third?
Or maybe not
Perhaps you do not think of me as I think of you

Or was it that you never did?

I text you when I am down or afraid
I ask "What are you doing?" or "How are you?" to set my mind at ease
Because knowing you exist is soothing in itself

But you've stopped responding

The lifeline-
Cut and abandoned
I still ask how your days is
But you don't answer

Because you've stopped trying

I bought sunflower seeds and planted them in a little *** on my window sill
I watered and tended to the leaves everyday
Every time the leaves seemed sick or browning
I had to hold back tears as I cut away the rot
Is it weak or dumb of me that I cried?
Like witchcraft I cared for that flower as if it were our love
As the leaves would rot so too did our hearts
As the petals fell so too did your love for me
And in every falling petal
Every cut leaf
Every inch of that flower
I felt you grow farther and farther out of reach from me

Why does this relationship feel like unrequited love?
I knew loving each other would be our downfall
But I didn't think it would feel so empty and lonely

There is no worse feeling than knowing you love someone more than they could ever possibly love you back

Our love was such a beautiful flower

One so unique and brand new it didn't even have a name
As it's petals bloomed and towards the moon it grew
I felt a love that was so deep and true

I thought that it was so beautiful and ethereal
That it must be immortal
That I'd see it in this life into the next and the one after

But it wilted
All the petals browned and fell
The roots rotted and leaves receded

Every flower has its season, this one just came late and let false hope into my heart

No matter how much I watered
How much I changed the soil
How much love I poured into it-

I could not save our dying flower