The dream, starts with a stream which the moon shines her beams upon, along the river i walk, I talk with no one to listen, But there it is the rain in the distance gaining on me closer and closer, But i have persistence to find happiness And a resistance to that pain so i stand and i stare at the oncoming rain  of pain and i..  i fall to the ground and i cry and i try to get back up but the pain won't let me and when  i finally get back up, i lack the resistance to the pain, where is the gain in fighting, why am i trying, we are all dying why shouldn't i speed that process up, But this isn't fancy dress these rags im wearing are mine, Stop comparing me to the happy people stop declaring that i am lesser than you, who are you to tell me i aint ****. is it because i ain't fit  or because of my outfit or because i can't commit to being myself because i have to hide my pain from you and them no one needs to see the real me, this is my plee stop making me flee from the fight, i don't want to be in this darkness i am in i want to be light but its all gone where is my happiness

They said rap didn't want me
My light skin and this bottle of gin
thats whats gon help me win
my life full its of sin  my kin are full of doubt
that aint gonna help me out
**** screaming and shouting
lyrics are what im about
expressing my feelings through words
depressing rhymes
those are my crimes
sentence me to death
let me get some **** off my chest
my dad we laid to rest
he was the ******* best

life it closes in exposing me for my sin
wishing i was thin
life hits you like a slug to the heart
the rap game im now apart
im not in this for fame
or the money
lets not be funny but
in my past i used to cut
i was stuck in a rut
i had one foot in hell
the other was in a cell

x in a coffin
there ain't nothing worse that loosing an idol
soon ill be in a hearse
listen to my verse take it in
don't just throw me to the bin
thats it im finished

They said rap didn't want me
My light skin and this bottle of gin
thats whats gon help me win
my life full its of sin  my kin are full of doubt
that aint gonna help me out
**** screaming and shouting
lyrics are what im about
expressing my feelings through words
depressing rhymes
those are my crimes
sentence me to death
let me get some **** off my chest
my dad we laid to rest
he was the ******* best

life it closes in exposing me for my sin
wishing i was thin
life hits you like a slug to the heart
the rap game im now apart
im not in this for fame
or the money
lets not be funny but
in my past i used to cut
i was stuck in a rut
i had one foot in hell
the other was in a cell

x in a coffin
there ain't nothing worse that loodsing an idol
soon ill be in a hearse
listen to my verse take it in
don't just throw me to the bin
thats it im finished

**** man why am I here
....
**** looks like we doin it
yeah ..
***** they ain't no writ out for me
but I owe you
yeah I know you got me out of that hole I was diggin
I got all the people I need around me so don't come Wiggin
grew up singing em that wigga got me thru hell
...
Hell marshals the one who got me here writing this ****
so sit the **** down and listen to this white kid rapping
man I done my fair share or crime
But I'll always find time to make another rhyme
...
Yeah I was kicked out at 16
left to fend for myself
I'm ******* young but my mind is numb
actin dumb Leaving all the snakes in my rear view
the people round me be new
but who the **** are you to say boo
if only you knew where I have been
and the **** I've seen
I wouldnt wish the **** I been through on no one

Save me from the thoughts in my head
Save me before i'm dead
Save me before im filled with lead
Save me from my dread
Save me from the thoughts in my head

while my dad is not gettin better I'm trying to get my **** wetter

my father's headin for the coffin
Im tryna get my ****** **** in

I know I'm a ******
my past is set in stone
but my future is yet to be known

yeah I'm a rapper
I love to rhyme

but it's time to wash out the black not to back to that young D but to become a brand new me

it's been a few months since he who bleeds from his wrists cut
But somthings afoot it didn't take a team to help me
be clean i did this alone

you should have know I Could do it on my own

writing raps it's me and my phone
my inspiration ain't gone its just unknown

how didnt you know I rapped
I'm not a violent guy but you **** wit me you might just get stabbed

I'm not evil knevil **** the future let's get medieval you might just get hung drawn and quartered

nah man I don't take orders the only ones I will follow are the Lords ones

Rope tied in a noose
Who's coming to save me
Pea she is the one here for me
Love her but not trying to give her the D
She dries my tears
The best eyes
I'm surprised she can't fly
She is my angel
I have been advised to take thing slow
So i'm a tortoise in a hare race
Looking in the mirror at my face
No need to chase a smile
Think of her and it comes so naturally
I follow the beat she drums
And here she comes running through my mind
So kind, always know i can find her here in my
HEART

I'm feeling low at this moment
Kneeling in my room staring at the ceiling i can't find my bearings
Starting to sweat I close my eyes and  all i see is her silhouette
How could she forget about me
She was juliet to my romeo
I know i need to let it go
Let her go
But my love for her ever grows
Her love is like a crossbow bolt through the heart
I am falling apart without her
And there's no doubt that she is fine without me
I wish i could breakout of this depression
This borderline obsession
It feels like a big joke
But where's the
Punchline

To move on i go back
My thoughts are wack
My mind is full of black

Being kind to the one i say love
she is a pure white dove
Making light of the darkness of my mind
Helping me to find myself

In her arms
rest the scars i put there
From when i said i didn't care
My words are never fair

Marielle hurting her is hell
Fell into her heart
Tore her apart

Ripping my arms to shreds
thoughts of suicide in my head
i am filled with dread
no one listened to what i said
a pull of a trigger and i am
DEAD

Your love is like the purest dove, your hand fits mine like a glove, My falling for you was unplanned But it is ever evolving, you are the possessor of my heart, although this is the start I will never let you go, i will never throw you... are my one and only

happiness is a word i no longer find the meaning for
i loved her but now i think of her as a *****
I DEMAND NO MORE
as i lay here on the floor
as my tears pour out
i have doubt
that i meant anything to her
was i just a chauffeur to her from A to B
did she love me
what did i mean to her
life is just a blur
it's like she was a curse
that briefe happiness before it all came crashing down
now all i wear is a frown
its like i'm in a wedding gown
but i'm not walking down that isle
i am being carried in a black box
while the few who are there
watch on and cry
i fly

Flicking through the unforgettable pages of your life,
Choice of wording and choice of rhyme,
Besides the unknown meaning behind your eyes, you don’t know the numb feeling inside.

Numb, empty, emotionless expressions cast across your perplexing complexion,
Hid behind multiple scars traced by its redemption,
It stopped at the flash of a red light,
Pulling on the cords of its life. Tight.

I am broken
But I still smile
I am still kind of heart
And yes i am smart
We may be apart
But i still look out for you
Don't come and **** my mood
And yeah im more than a little lewd
And i will always be belittled
But i could give a ****
I'm going to live life to the fullest
Grow old with a beautiful wife
And please know that you can't snow on my parade
At times i have strayed from the path
Of righteousness
And yeah i am a psychopath
And you don't want to feel my
WRATH

Sitting here wrists scarred
Legs cut, shut away
scared as the noose starts to fray
Who’s coming to help me
No one, I am left on the shelf
Alone, because my feelings are unknown, trying to keep myself to myself, smoking **** to make myself feel free, He is gone, the I **** I have done is wrong
It won’t be long until I return to my blades

And now i am smiling
no more crying
but i am always lying
Thinking of dying
No longer trying to make it through
All the pain

I don't want to have to pretend to be happy, I just feel so ******,All i am is a wannabe poet and you know it, my pain i try not to show it but it all comes out when i put pen to paper, i fight the pain i take a blade a slit my wrist Then i aim my fist at the wall Punching till my knuckles bleed, I have a lot of troubles in my life, But i they go away when i have that knife cutting into my skin, and i want to be thin so i starve myself and purge, all that is left is the urge to hurt myself Or to insert that blade into my flesh ripping myself to ribbons, and i know i won't be forgiven for my sins, there's so many things in my life that i could do without,and it looks like im out of luck, but i couldn't give a **** this pain i'm used to it, it's over for me

I use my writings to cope
But i am sliding down this ***** of
Depression
Getting worse
Thoughts of that rope
Tied in a noose
To bleed away my youth
And that's the truth

but when i need you the most
You are nothing but a ghost
If you are ever down i do
The utmost to be there for you

You the one who is never there
for me


I see the tree
i planned to tie that rope to
That rope tied in a noose

You made me feel so used and abused
You whose initials are signed on my skin
But i will not let you win

Yeah you know me by PA!N
Three letters and a exclamation
That’s ***** on point
Been through some **** it my time
**** my time ain’t been to long barley seventeen years
But I’ve cried too many tears
Carrying my fears like burdens
I can’t loose my peers
Family is all I got left

Laying in my bed
Praying for help

The voices in my head
Telling me to Die

Thoughts of suicide
Revolving rotating in my mind

Try my best to be kind to
everyone i meet

But i'm just some ofbeat
*******

Hit my walls with my fists
till i bleed

Blood dripping from my knuckles

I buckle under all this strain and pressure
Try to forget
But there's always a refresher
I treasure the few i have left

I am so low in this moment, I need help
You read my poems, But don't know what i mean
I put up a screen, To keep you out
I'm in the ring with depression, I'm losing this bout
So i crank out another poem, Thinking of my mother
How she hates that im not like the rest, How i am myself
I WILL NO LONGER HIDE IN A BOX

Smoking dope to feel a smile on my face
Living numb
I can't ******* smile
And that **** makes me feel dumb
Leaving him cheating
What else can I do wrong
My chest is heaving
Sat here tryna be weaving these words
To try and release some hurt

Release somthing I know oh to well
the way I'm going I'm heading for rehab or worse death
Numb in the head
drugs are my butter n bread
**** looks like I'm sick in the head
Cuting myself just to feel somthing
maybe I will end up ******
Dead

it was my birthday 26/03 i should have been happy
But i was feeling ******
Being snappy
feeling like ****
It is natural
for me

What have i done wrong
I must stay strong
It won't be too long

What have i done wrong
I don't want to prolong the time i have left
all along i blamed myself
When it was you causing me all this pain

What have I done wrong