I'm smiling
But inside I'm crying
I laughed
But it really hurt
I said I'm fine
But I really just lied

In the morning when you open your eyes
Say hello to the birds and butterflies
Smell the fresh air and gaze at the beautiful sky
Listen to the crickets and watch the sunrise
Because life is short but it's a beautiful thing.

I feel like I'm floating outside of my body.
And I can't get back in
I'm locked out

Maybe we feel empty because we left pieces of ourselves in everything we used to love, and maybe we feel sad because love is deceiving. Maybe we feel broken because the things that used to fix us are broken as well, and maybe we cry because there are so many questions left unanswered. Maybe we hurt because someone has to feel the pain. Maybe, just maybe.

I'm not wearing black
I'm wearing mirrors that reflect my soul

I was alone
when I was sad
when I was scared
I was alone
because you were never there

I woke up at night
crying
looking for you
but you were not insight

I spent night after night hurting myself
Blaming myself
for your absence
but it was all your fault

I remember the night
when those people came and took me from my home
do you? or were you even there?
I don't recall seeing your face
just a self-loathing woman
who never even cared  

You're just a cruel woman
who deserves to be alone
but you're not alone
the ones who are hurting
are ones left on they're own

It's sad to say... You were once my mother..

I looked into your brown eyes
And smiled
It was like a one night stand
But for my eyes
It may have only lasted for a short while
But I'll remember it always

I am not Christian
Nor am I an atheist
I do believe
In both god and Satan
But neither rule my heart
I prey
Before bed
Or before every meal
But I also do worship the devil
I like pentagrams
And I wear them
But I do not follow satan

You held me in your arms
Gently
Your body was so warm
Intensely
That is the feeling I want to experience
Over and over and over again

lips as soft as a summer breeze
And eyes
The color of the sea
I melt
When they're looking at me

You've got this smile that shines brighter than the stars
So beautiful and bright

I'll love you until my dieing night

It's safe to say
I'm alone again
You acted
Like you had a hand to lend
You acted
Like a friend
But you disappeared
You went away
You're no longer here
I don't think I'm okay...

Please come closer
I wish to feel you near
I want to pull you beneath my ocean blue waves

These pain killers I hold in my hand
Will either numb me
or **** me
Either way I win
No more pain of yesterday
No wondering about tomorrow
No more laying in bed awake
With endless thoughts
No more crying
and wondering why
As I swallow these painkillers
I make my final choice

she said she was fine
that she had stopped
stopped slitting her wrists at night
but she lied
she lied to get you off of her back
she's gotten better
at hiding the evidence
with long sleeves
and bracelets
she feels lost and unloved
she's alone
she's me

I'm so close to the edge dear
Because no one needs me here
The blade will miss my skin
And I'll feel better from within

It's dark
I feel at peace
With myself and the world
But I still feel sad
I still want to cut
I still want to see my vain split open
From the metallic blade I possess
I want to watch as my life pours from my wrist
I want to watch myself slowly die

There are spirits here
I can feel them
I can see them
and so can my dog
I guess I'm not alone after all

You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me smile
When I am down
You make me laugh
when I am say
You wipe my tears away
every day

I lied
When I said I was fine
I'm not
I'm not

My heart hurts
And I think too much
I'm not worth
your love

Because I'm broken
yeah my wrist is open
I wasn't worth it anyways
I don't matter anyhow

Because I'm tired
I'm so tired
Just.. so tired

Trust: confidence placed in a person by making that person the nominal owner of property to be held or used for the benefit of one or more others.

I've trusted people.. But never again...

When you're happy
Baby's got no storms
Thunder storms
When you're happy

Happy, happy boy
Golden heart full of joy
He's got these blue eyes
Giving me butterflies

I wait every day to die
But I always wake up

Was it still a joke?
When she slit her wrists and wanted to die
Was it still a joke?
When all she did was cry

Was it a joke
when she didn't even kiss her mom goodbye

Anxiety is preparing yourself to say "here" when the teacher does attendance.
Anxiety is shaking so bad you can barely keep food on a spoon.
Anxiety is being so quiet that even your mind stops for a second.
Anxiety is never texting first because you feel needy.
Anxiety is not being able to walk up to the teacher to hand in a paper.
Anxiety is always sitting in the back of the class so you don't feel eyes know you.
Anxiety is being afraid. All the time. Afraid to love, to smile,  or even to say hello.
Anxiety is only having a few friends because it's hard to talk to people you don't know.
Anxiety is wanting to talk to the cute boy who sits across from you, but you're afraid of him knowing the real you.
Anxiety is finally saying hello

20 times in your head

What's the meaning of life?
Why are we here?
What do dreams mean?
Why are they there?
Why do we cry?
Why do we sing?
Why do we feel?
Why do we hurt?
But most importantly,
Why are there so many questions left unanswered?
It's sad to say not every gets their answers