Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Sitting next to you
I felt like frozen fire
Nothing compares to how unaware
you felt, and how being with you was dire

Forgot how it felt to be someone
I burnt so much for no reason
You took it all away from me
to me your love was treason

I remember how you held me close
once you were my brightest light
you swore to protect me
for me you picked every fight

I know your life made you weary
and I felt for you, felt all the pain
I thought you needed me to forget
but admittedly you just weren't sane

I realized then that I had lost you long ago
It wasn't my responsibility
to save you from yourself
from lost dreams and your agony

This frozen fire got so cold
I burnt so much for no reason
I had to leave before my soul would have been sold
before entering the last cold season

And I know you beg for my return
and it pains me still to refuse
but your endless winter would never let me burn
and the fire is what I choose

Is it wrong to feel
it all unfold
to want my tongue to peel
off the words that have been foretold
to let my chest burst open
feel the nectar of flowers all find their place within
My body's nothing more than a token
caught in darkness for far too long my lively swarm has been

And oh, the misery
I can't let them out
The only bliss, you see
is when the humming isn't so loud
But today my ears can't take the noise
my body aches, its been holding and breaking
I thought somewhere in all that buzzing I heard a voice
But I'm afraid I'm just anothers nest in the making

In my dreams I see my bees leaving
they all fly away
and I can't blame the spider for weaving
turning this hive into her own flowery array
Soon this place might as well be forgotten
for I know nothing about actual flowers
and they will all be rotten
and there over my lost mind an old tree towers

This tree will be my grave
I shall be buried alive
til something may save
the leftovers of my overgrown heart, this bee hive
XVI
But what is even enough for you*, you ask
As if I shut myself
in the highest room of the Tower
on purpose;
who would do that?
I am no
Dorothy.
If I throw my body
over the railing, I
have no idea what
will happen.

It would probably
just break my skull
if you don’t
catch me
down
there.
 Sep 2018 Brandon Conway
Dea
Writing
 Sep 2018 Brandon Conway
Dea
How to start writing
How to keep writing
Write, write, write
Writing

Pick a subject for writing
Make sure you reference your writing
Write, write, write
Keep writing

This amount of words for writing
Plus or minus 100 word max leeway for writing
Write, write, write
Still writing

Quotes in your writing
Punctuation for writing
Write, write, write
Writing

Title for writing
Page numbers for writing
Underline, paragraph, CAPITALISE
Your writing

Margin your writing
Spell check your writing
Re write, research, rephrase
Your writing

Is this your writing?  
Question your writing

Read
Hate
***** up
Start again
Your writing

Check your writing
Get a friend to check your writing
Panic, stress, just write
Your writing

****** writing

This will do, writing

Print, bind, hand in
Your writing

Write some more as you sign off your writing

Sigh
Feel sick
Crash
Sleep
Writing

Wait, wait, wait
Wait for someone to read your writing

Judge your writing
Mark your writing
Wait, wait, wait

Receive your writing

Read another's writing about your writing

Their writing, writing about your writing

To write whether the words in your writing are good writing
Therefore RIGHT writing

Or

Infact writing that ought not to have been written in the first place.

Now tell me

From this writing
And writing
And writing
And more writing

How do you write the words that you now want to be written?

You're trying to see
what it is she makes of thee
Flesh always burning
Bones always shaking
Head's always turning
to see many eyes waking

This bee hive heart is beating
dripping with golden excitement
watch wings stripping, flight of perceiving
she's reckless with incitement
Brain's buzzing
from all the lusting

What have you done
Lord of crimson?
Where do you want her to put all these dreams?
She's near, her slender feet walk on
Her newly sharpened tongue knows of no fears

Neither young nor old
either shy or bold
of this golden crowned goddess you shall behold
in your dreams she eats you whole,
that's what's been told
I'm guilty
I'm always guilty
it bugs me, won't leave me alone
"you're filthy, empty
only filled with things you collected
over there, in anothers life
you're all things neglected
hell, you're not worth the dive"

Shut up! Just be quiet.
Only once. Give me some bliss.
I am the one who decided
I'm fine with how it is.
Why can't you be my ally instead?
What is driving you so mad?

Yes, I feel pathetic.
Are you happy now?
Won't we make this sound more poetic?
The least we can do is put on a show.
Is this all I can do?
Always fighting this stupid me and you

I'm happy, can't you see?
My eyes cry out to make you believe.
I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy,
why don't you let me be?
A little bit futile,
in the eyes of my own judge
Quite a bit volatile,
and how it still all feels like a little bit too much

I know what I'm supposed to do
I know no stranger should feel like hope
I know I alone need to come through
I know there's no red rope
nothing that ties my floating pieces together
scattered for far too long,
underneath a bright and broken moon, forever
singing some beautiful and lonely song

Realization,
I recognize.
Acceptance,
I understand.
But I can't be changed.
I won't ever be changed.
Always feel estranged,
countless thoughts deranged
in the picture you see, so beautifully arranged.
There's a silence
my senses aren't familiar with
but not one in defiance
less a silence, maybe more a bliss

You must know
all I've met were loud
creatures of big words, a big show
and so very proud

Of this quietness I know so little
all that shouting, felt like I had to go through with it
always finding myself in the middle
deafening noises in an endless pit

There's a silence
though I adore it I never wore it
quite as well as I could have
But now I sense an alliance
within this noiseless place in which we sit

Almost felt offended by the lack of words
but I make peace eventually, realizing
not silence but the emptiness of noise is what hurts
and though this silence still at times feels paralyzing

I know now more of honesty
no glass words to see through
an impeccable decency
is what I want to believe is true

There's a silence,
which is a calmness,
that makes me feel safe
from the mess
The concrete drum
beats two steps;
their sound signals
dear freedom

The cricket hum
drowns the day
and instills a
tranquil numb

The bare breeze
strums leaves and all
and breaks the heat
in welcome

The tonic sum
a blessed song;
allowing one
to triumph
Next page