He doesn't deserve this poem
No, what has he done to earn it?
I'll tell you what he's done
He's loved me

No, he doesn't deserve this poem
He deserves an entire book
A novel of pages upon pages
Explaining exactly what he's done
To deserve it
And I guarantee you
The pages will be overflowing
With words

Words of how loyal he is
Words of how loved he makes me feel
The pages will explain how he never gives up
Especially on someone he loves

As I lay there on my death bed
And  look into his beautiful green eyes
I tell him
"If I am ever reincarnated
I hope I will be your heart
So the world can finally see
We are better as one"

Some days when I'm sad
The clouds open up
They leave the Earth wet and humid
The air thick with fog

On these days
It feels like the universe is crying for me
So I do not waste my tears
On something so simple
Something so temporary

His hands ran through my hair
Like fingers in the wind
My head on his chest
Like he was my personal pillow
And in these moments I realized
This is where I'm supposed to be
I am home
I can breathe

I write poetry all the time
Days upon days, nights upon nights
Words pour out of me
Like my blood flows through my veins

But then you left

You left and you took my words
I was mute
Unable to speak
I was trapped inside my mind
And I had no way to escape

Because what is the point of writing
When you have nothing left to write about

This is a story
Of love
And of finding yourself
Yet again after you have been lost

This is a story
Of two girls
Sharing a forbidden love
So sweet that honey is jealous

This is a perfect story
But there's a small catch
We fell in love
Before you met her

We fell in love
And we loved so hard
But you were afraid
And so you left

This is a story
Of how I missed you
God, did I miss you

But finally one evening
You came back
But you only wanted to be friends
Did you think I would settle for just friends

This is a story
Of two thousand miles
And how it can drive a person crazy

This story has no ending yet
Sometimes I think it will
When we both fight ourselves
And we don't talk for days

But it never does
We always come back
We always want to continue this story

I don't know much about how to tell a story
All I know is
I never want this story to end

2am
You call me
We talk for awhile
We laugh and love and smile

3am
We Skype
I see your beautiful face
The person that I adore

4am
We both fall asleep
Like we always do
With sleepy smiles looking at each other
It's amazing how love can travel such distances

5am
I'm half awake
Your cute little snores
And talking to yourself
Woke me from my dreams of you

6am
I'm still barely awake
But in my slumbering state of mind
I love you
I can only think I love you
I could never think anything else
Other than I wish you knew
And I wish you loved me too..

Two years ago
We said our goodbyes
Our final words
And parted ways

I lost my love
The brown eyes and short hair
The boy I could never live without

This year
I find myself still waiting
But this time
It isn't for you

This time
I'm waiting for her
To come down the stairs for dinner

This time
I'm waiting for her phone call at 3am
Telling me she loves me
And that she'll be home soon

This time
I stare into her beautiful green eyes
And I don't see you anymore

This time
I think I got it right

I have loved him
for far too long
Daily meets
and empty sheets
Will haunt me forever

I have loved him
for far too long
Days turned to weeks
weeks turned to months
And somehow after two years
i'm still waiting

We always joked with each other
"don't talk to me"
and then we'd laugh
I don't know about you
but I stopped laughing two years ago

I have loved him
for far too long
I've been in love with the same boy for four years now
I just wish he knew

My love was so bright
So alive
I gave you everything I had
And got left in return

Your absence was so heavy
I thought it might **** me
But I survived
Oh boy, how I wish I hadn't

You call me six months later
I answer
I always answer to you

Two hours later and i'm sitting in your driveway
Wondering why I bothered to show up
I go into your house, and there you are

The six months of healing, gone
My walls tore down again
My heart breaking into a million pieces again
And I haven't even heard you speak yet

That night
A magical night
Full of kisses and closed doors

I missed you so much
God, how I missed you

I go home
I go to sleep, happy for the first time
And when I wake up
You are not there beside me

I realize now it was only a game
An act of boredom
You toyed with my feelings again

And I realize
I still love you

The love never went away
Only grew stronger in your absence
And now
My love is broken

I fell in love
With someone so sweet
Sugar would be jealous

I had a lover
But mamma never approved
So we met under the bridge
At half past noon

They tried to fix me
Doctors, Therapists, all of the like
They all failed
And mamma cried

We kept meeting
Sharing stolen kisses
Until the day my lover said
People were finding out
We could never meet again

Mamma said
"Two girls can't share a love, it's forbidden.
Darling, for your own sake, keep you feelings hidden."

Mamma thought
My feelings weren't real
But I knew

My heart was broken
I can no longer pass the bridge where we met
Without stopping and calling her name
In case she came back for me
One last time
My secret lover

Darling when you told me
You had lost your love for me
Why did you lie

Darling when you told me
"Shes just a friend to me"
Why did you lie

If you have loved me all those nights
Through my endless frights
Why did you lie to me

If you truly did care
And wanted what was best for me
Why don't you come back to me?

"Never Darling there's not another girl"
Words you said through lying teeth

"It was one time, I don't know what I was thinking"
I looked into your devilish blue eyes
While my trust for you falters

"I don't love you anymore"
Words you bothered not to say in person
Because you knew I would see the lies
Because you never loved me in the first place

You knew I knew
There was another girl all along

I had fallen
For a boy who hid the devil in his smile

I had fallen
For a boy who left when he was needed most

I had fallen
For a love that wasn't real

I had told myself
I was giving up
But yet again

I am falling
For a girl who says my name like it is her own

I am falling
For eyes so blue they could freeze the seas

I am falling
For a girl I know deserves my love

I am falling
For my best friend

I am falling
For eyes that are not my own

I am falling
For a heart stronger than mine

I am falling
For a love that was made to last

I have fallen
Into a love so kind and deep

I have fallen
For a boy that is ever so sweet

I have fallen
For a boy who is my hope

I have fallen
My hope has let me down

I have fallen
On to the cold hard ground

I have fallen
No one is here to catch me now

When I was young
I thought that the hardest thing I would ever do
Was face the mean girls down the street
And falling asleep when it was time

Now as I've grown older
I realized the hardest thing I would ever do
Is looking into those eyes
As you said goodbye
And waking up when it is time

Music
holding its many tempos
fast
slow
just like a heartbeat
fast
slow
beating through your chest
as I lay my head down
I listen to the heartbeat within your chest
at first; fast
as you drift off to sleep; slow
in these moments I realize
no matter the tempo
I could happily listen to the music that is your heartbeat
*forver

I only met you
a short five years ago
in that time we have shared many things
happiness as we walked under the willows
sadness as we ran from the rain
laughter at one another's simple jokes
but most importantly we have shared one thing no other could feel

our secret
of love
love for each other as we began simply as friends
sleepovers and movie nights to bring us together
stolen kisses in the middle of a storm
holding hands in the dark of night
but no one knows our simple secret
we are in love
a joyfull love
for eternity
forbidden

11:11 and I'm wishing for you
wishing that you would not simply see me through
wishing that we could be as one
I'd surely be the luckiest girl
under the sun

I'm going fishing
fishing for a love
fishing for a friend
fishing for something that will never end

However, how frightening it is to finally catch those feelings
catch feelings that are more than just friendship
instead of throw them back
would it be to simple to comply?

Love is not a card game
Simple with rules to follow
Love is not simply tame
to be picked up and laid down gently
with each simple word said.

Love is like a hurricane
violent
painful
thrashing
but eventually there is a calm in the storm
a calm for sweet words
stolen kisses
blue eyes
and often white lies

now comes the question
is the storm passing through
or are you just in the eye of the storm?

Burn
Burn it all down

Burn
Burn it to the ground

Burn
Like you caught my heart on fire

Burn
I realized you were such a liar

Silly Girl you thought he was serious
Silly Girl this was obviously a game
Silly girl your life is not a fairy tale
Silly Boy you should know better than to play with fire

Simply a date to many
But a lifetime's worth of stories to I
Many good memories

October 5th
the day you held my hand

October 5th
The day you childishly wrapped your arms around me

October 5th
The day I agreed to be yours

But now, these memories haunt me
taunting
teasing
tearing away at my heart

October 5th
The day you met her

October 5th
I'll stay with you, sure

October 5th
You realized what was best

October 5th
You forgot to tell me goodbye

The day you went away I knew there was something wrong
your words
hollow
your smile
no longer danced with your eyes
it was in these moments I realized it was no longer I who held your heart
for it was her
it may have always been her
maybe you were a good actor
or maybe I was just blind

School
A prison
Looking left and right
Make it through the day
Honey you'll be alright.

Classes
A mold
Looking left and right
Make it through the period
Honey you'll be alright

Friends
The Saviors
Looking left and right
They help you through the day
They say "Honey it'll be alright."

Beautiful
The word you said as you kissed my lips
You've repaired me
Helped me
Helped me love myself
When i could barely love another
Hugged me so tight the broken pieces fit together

Now you've ripped out the stitches you repaired me with
You've moved on without warning
The stitches you've reclaimed
being weaved into another's soul

Beautiful
that wonderful word carved from the Earth
the joyful word we all love
ruined forever
as you kiss another's lips.