My heart,
Does not beat with yours.
Our rhythms
Irregular,
And I don't know the cause.
Time has flown,
Yet we haven't grown.
We're open stitches
That can't be sewn.
And now,
We continue our paths alone.

In my world,
There is black and white.
Lots of fights,
Continuous cries.

But that's okay.

I get my paints,
And color the greys.
Turn white to yellow,

And finally create.

Dear lord,
Please help me know.
That these feelings I feel
Will come to go.
Guide me through paths
That frost in snow.
Cover me in sun
To dim the unknown.
And lord,
Please know,
Before I go,

I feel ill at mind,
But hope in my soul.

I am cold ,
Like ice.
My soul sunk
Like the sun at night.
And though I tried
To leave you behind,
The thoughts of you
Did not subside.
They wandered
About,
Inside my mind,
Climbed great heights
Like clouds of sky.
But clouds,
They rain,
As did my eyes.
For now,
My heart,
Has left to die.

I envision a dream,
Created by me.
Of a boat floating
Along a gentle sea.
No waves to see,
Nor fish I seize.
Just one with myself,

And finally at ease.

I lost my mind ,
Or so it seems.
Doused in fear
Of uncertainty.
The mind is small
Yet we think so big.
And here I lay
In the grave I dig.
As one small nudge
And I’m ready to blow.
Losing myself ,

Now out of control.

My angel.
A mind so kind,
So curious.
You have rekindled my joy,
My purpose.

But now,
I can't help but feel alone.
As you walk down an aisle,
Smothered in rose.

And I,
Hold a lump in my throat.

You have finally grown.

My lungs,
Created as two.
Yet both drown
In the sorrow of truth.
My mind,
So busy.
My head,
So dizzy.
But i’m alive.
Though barely breathing.

What a melancholy night.
Thoughts so loud
They shock me with fright.
Whispers of aid,
Created by me.
Comfort alone,
By naked trees.
More touch I receive
From fields of green.
Wiping tears gently onto my sleeve.

For all I desire,
Is true company.

The quietness caresses my ears,
As each moment goes on.
The peace without my others,
Makes me feel strong.

The subtle vibration movements,
The tranquillity of the room,
Begins to bring out my feelings,
And all ends too soon.

I begin to hide myself with strong emotion,
I gave up the cure and brought out the sick.
The tranquillity flares into red fire,
As my inner self begins to play the trick.

I needed my others after all this time,
As my feelings corrupted into regression.
Every flicker of pain matched with the quietness,
As I didn't even think of confession.

The quietness burns my ears,
As each moment drags on.
The peace without my others,
Now seems so painfully wrong.

You look at me with a sharp gaze,
Mouth salivating with the taste of wonder
Of what a human can create
Make and shape
Into the palm of your hand.

You lose your breath
Panting begins to escalate
Glares begin to infatuate
Your senses onto my own fragility.

I speak no words but
Just shape myself
Into the form of which you cannot surrender
Your senses onto my own fragility.

Soon the clock strikes
Your senses spike
and no less than a minute
That your touch is wandering my form.

I speak no words
Just brace myself for
I am simply made of clay.

To rain it falls,
Gently pouring on my head.

My arms ,
Drenched in blood.

Voices ,
Come and flee.

Cold and rigid,
Like my body.

For waters,
They weep.

As do others ,
For me.

Just one moment,
I plead for you.
To kiss me,
Hold me,
And care for me too?
Please tell me tales,
Of wonder and play.
Love me through words,
I need you to say.

'I love you, child',
'It'll be okay'.

But all is a dream,
You get quite annoyed.
For the child
Facing you,

Is the one you avoid.

Here I stand.
And though I land
With a thump and thud,
Little whispers
Fill me with love.

And these little voices,
Replicate mine.
As love of others
Was difficult to find.

Yet I do not mind,
No not at all.
For love of oneself,

Is better
Then none at all.

A note to nature ,
Blooming in scenes.
Comfort in quiet,
Enriched in peace.
Leaving me silent
And blind from greed.
Clueless to violence ,

Finally at ease.

Your heart,
Beats with mine.
We intertwine,
Creating a tie.

One becomes two.
Bound to the heart,

Chosen for you.

I walk an empty road,
I'm lost and confused,
And all seems dull and dreary.
I walk an empty road,
Not expecting much left,
Nothing to do,
But to ponder and accept.
I walk an empty road,
And stop.
I see light beneath the winged oaks,
And breath in the beauty that stands before me.
She was so beautiful,
With eyes reaching my weary soul,
She welcomed me with open arms towards me.
Never did I feel this before.
Never did I feel that sweet love,
That I felt with her touch.
Her smile made the darkened road shorter,
As she took my broken hand into hers,
And took me to a place of comfort and joy.
Home.
She was my home.
As time flew by,
We both laughed and cried,
And helped each other through treacherous roads.
Her name is music to my ears,
And her heart beats out gold.
She took me out,
And led me in.
I wish this existed within others,
But I have her,
My angel,
And that's all I need.

Oh, father.
That little girl,
You met in September.

You left.

Remember?

Without a trace,
Nor a track.
Left mother nothing but a heart attack.

But, father,
Dare I ask?

Is there a chance
You will ever come back?

At the edge,
I sink to my knees.
Nothing to feel,
Nothing to see.

The touch of grass,
Tickling my feet.
Yet no laugh I bear
In my defeat.

But a beautiful creature
Passes by.
I catch a glimpse
With my teary eyes.
She's burnt with orange
And the darkest of blacks.
So small in size
With wings on her back.

She lands so softly
On my button-red nose.
Fluttering so gently,
Unbothered by the cold.

I hold her gaze
Until she's ready to go.
And flutter away,
She goes back home.

I should follow her footsteps,
It's getting quite late.
For her presence,
Though small,
Has encouraged me to stay.

My truest darling,
I plucked a flower for you.
Vibrant,
And fragile,
Just like us two.

You were soft,
And supple,
Like these pretty petals.
I hold it closely,
Away from nettles.

I will water it daily,
On your behalf.
No matter if this breath,
Shall be my last.

And although you're beneath
The soil and sands,

This flower,
My angel,
Shall never leave my hand.

My body is weak,
Engrossed in these sheets.
This land of comfort
Is all that I seek.
For one moment
Im asleep,
The next i'm awake.
My eyes they close,
I'm drifting away.
In slumber,
I ponder,
Wishing day for night.
For moving is sombre,

My mind sleeps tight.

Though sky of clouds grow,
Not all is lost,
Beneath the snow.
For the sun still shines,
When Winter is cold.
But we adapt and grow,
And learn to know,
Of changing seasons,
To life and its woes.

If I could have
Just one last dance.
To laugh in awe
Of your youthful prance.
Around we go
Like a merry-go-round,
Our joyous breaths
Blocking the sound.
And we live,
And give.
Every moment of us
We never hid.
For each other,
We built a home.

But alas,
We're older.

And now alone.

Your eyes
Speak a thousand words.
But these words,
Seem wrong.

Your voice,
Once melodic,
Is off-key
To our song.

Have I hurt you,
My dear?
Is this all a lie?
You lay by my side,
Our hands intertwine.

But your kiss,
Is tired.
Your lips subside.
Oh no,
Darling,

Are you still mine?

I feel,
Tense.
Nothing is wrong,
But nothing makes sense.
Things are,
Intense.
Overwhelmed
By fear
Locked in my head.
Silly little scares,
Born and bred.
To fears of unknown,
I can't comprehend.

To hear your cries,
Broke me inside.
Wheezing for breath,
As I sit by your side.
My mind,
Hurt me,
But at least we tried.
So weary in fret,
Though we seemed just fine.
But I live in regret,
It should pass in time.
Though I'll never forget,

The you and I.

I am a floating flower,
Among the tallest tree.
My petals,
They fall once plucked from me.
My pollen
Decreases once ****** by bees.
My roots
Decay once ripped from leaves.
I am fragile,
Born from the smallest of seed.
Grown and sewn,
To the purest beauty.

But wanderer and ponderer,
Please let me be.

To touch the dirt,
The soil,
The sand.
To feel it run gently
Through my hand.
To hear soft creaks
In the dead of night.
To hear birds sing
As they plan a flight.

Our simple surroundings,
Give solitude of mind.
For peace is rare
In this strange little life.

From child to adult,
We learn to flee.
Away from home,
And to the sea.
From the wings of our guardians,
We fly among the rest.
To our own creation,
Away from our nest.
Flying is hard,
Terror pollutes the air.
Leaving me burdened,
Alone,

And ever so scared.

To feel everything,
But nothing at all.

To hear everyone,
But no one to call.

To sleep and weep
In the hours of day.

I slip into darkness,
And fall astray.

Dear lord,
Lead me away.
Hurt still greets me
In the hours of day.
My loss of love
Was extraordinary pain.
And all that’s left is
Your ghostly remains.

In goes one,
Head hung low.
Arms in a fold,
Hands deathly cold.

Stares and glares,
Across the room.
Panic emerges
As they hover
and loom.

Small pleas
and prayers
Leave their mouth.
But no sirens heard
When they begin to shout.

A shout becomes a cry,
A cry for a guide.
Somewhere to hide,
Feeling ready to die.

But no guidance
They recieve,
All alone and weak.
Waiting for nothing,
Responses are bleak.

No comfort to share,
Not a word of care.
No genuine meaning,
Just simply speaking.

No heartbeating,
Mind leaving,
As you rot
In your own mistake.
As your soul,
Once young and bold,
Now ice cold,
From another life
Not saved.

Now in goes two,
Bodies hung so small.
Words spoken in tired voices;
'We are the ones that made the call'.

Our love
Runs cold.
Memories of us
Now stale and old.
No word we utter
When coming home.
Just you and I,
In an empty lie,
Turning to stone.

My beauty,
Through and through.
What I would do,
Just for you.
I would walk the mountains,
To save your life.
Sacrifice mine,
To keep you alive.
I would stop the pain
You feel each day.
Take the bullet,
To keep you safe.
As my love for you,
Darling,
Shall never stray.

Why?.
A question so repetitive,
It stifles my mind.

As the more I think,
The less I hide.

The more I speak,
The less I lie.

The more I feel,
The less I disguise.

For the more I live,

The less I am alive.

Growth.
A beautiful thing,
For the mind and soul.

From young to old,
To secrets untold.

In youth I thrived
Through actions of bold.

As I have lived
Through thick and thin.

And let my story unfold.

But all is well,
For my soul is home.
In the arms of death,

I am free to roam.

My company ,
Is home.
Though others fill
My battery ,
True company,
Is alone.
Taking pleasure
In silence ,

Cosy in my dome.

From your gaze,
To your taste.
Wrapped gently in your embrace.
Gifted me goods,
No other could replace.

Though your words,
Left a trace.
The soul I once embodied ,
Now trashed like waste.

As the taste I once savored,
Now soiled from your flavor.

I am no good.
Not the look of light
And ‘beauty’ that I should.
You say this once ,
Now twice in fights.
Saying my body
Is all but nice.
Fine.
I am so good to despise.
Not the look of woman
That you need in sight.
But that’s alright,
Your mind has fled.
To dream of a woman
Of ‘beauty’ in bed.

'You will be okay'.
Four words that seem so fake.

To hear it,
Is common.
But to feel it,
Is rare.

Yet the ones that tell you,
Are the ones that care.

For the hope they hold will always be there.

My mind is aloof.
Not a thought too kind,
Too ignorant for truth.
Though I cannot blame it,
Life is too cruel.
It is afraid
Of it's ailment,
It runs with no fuel.
But here she is,
My little sweet heart.
Pumping love to me,
From the very start.
Turning thoughts of pain
To ones now mild.
For my heart
Is a mother,

And my mind it's child.

Pretty,
You are.
A beauty of gold
That shines afar.

I know
I stalled these feelings
So large.
Sewing my heart
And hiding my scars.

But now
I know the truth as is.
I would give my soul
For a little kiss.

And now I pray,
To the lord above.
Give me your hand,

And let me love.

Our minds are fragile,
As life is a play.
Some break
If let go,
Some break
If thrown away.

I did not know you,
For you changed each day.
You were a victim
Of judgment,
And a bait for prey.

Your presence was cold,
But your
Comfort was soothing.
Your quiet
Yet violent,
And I was
Slowly losing.

As I knew
To you,
I was less than nothing.
How cruel,
But true
That you were
Truly something.

How joyous I would be,
If time would slow.
Take a breather,
Let us flow.

From hours to minutes,
They turn to seconds.
Living in limits,
Having no presence.

I deeply sigh,
For time is too rapid.
Too impatient to wait,
Too ravenous to stop it.

As now the clock,
Reaches to nine.
And here I lay,
Wishing,
Of a world without time.

Lord,
I cannot fathom myself.
I cannot contain myself,
I cannot behave myself.

Your breath,
Hot and sizzling,
Burning my skin.
Your Pain,
Rich and thrilling,
I am your sin.

Lord,
I am blushed and bruised,
Ashamed and used,
Contained and confused.

Bound and held,
You whisper quiet words
Into my ear.
A melody so deafening
I forget to care.

Lord,
I feel ravenous.
My burning hunger
so pitiful,
So scandalous.

Your soft kiss,
Turns lush pink
Into lustful red,
Blood pours down my chin
Onto our bed.

Your eyes meeting mine,
Direct and aligned.

Thoughts colder than frost
My heart begins beating,
Limbs are weakening,
Feelings are deepening.

My mind is now yours.

For now I see
A point of no return.
I seethe and writhe
As our souls bind and burn.

I shot to the ground
From a bullet,
With no mercy.
I crawled along the waste line,
With no words I could speak.
I felt your arms around me,
But I could not see your face.
Every movement tore my body apart,
And every word you spoke,
I could not erase.
Your body was made of pure glass,
Now shattered by an action
I could not undo.
I continued to crawl helplessly
As I heard your cries.
And no life did I endure
But only the end of it.

I have blossomed,
I have sewn.
From a girl of youth,
To a woman of grown.
My body
Is different.
To me it's unknown.
Though I feel
Such hatred,
For my newer mould.
But that is okay,
We all must grow.

And learn to love our beauty of old.

Just once,
May I cradle
That child I hushed.

For youth I rushed,
And thoughts I pushed.

She was scared,
And forever flushed.

An innocent heart,
Squandered,
And crushed.

And now she lives,
With no recollection,
Of being a kid.

Clear the path
Of a mind so weak.
Home is near
Though I cannot see.
'Take me,please',
Pray God for ease.
Mouth shut
Outside,
As I try to speak.
Though only my thoughts
Can hear my pleas.
Now worn in exhaust,

From pain not seen.

My vision,
Is blurry.
I’m locked in a cage.
My tears,
They hurry down my face.
My mind,
In fury,
It has me insane.
For I wish to finally breathe again.