Early morning drink with ice, of course. I always felt so lost.
In my mind was dark, my soul was crushed and my life was built on pretending.
I smiled, I laughed a lot.
No one knew my heart was in a knot. My body was numb, My thoughts were evil. I tried to break through all that I was going through. Could this all be so true? Was I losing myself, ...it was all something I was new to.  
Nothing I was use to.
The pain , frustration and anger.
I didn't wanna talk, some days I didn't wanna get up ... Everything was a fuss.
I had to figure out what was wrong, the depression I couldn't take ..I knew it would take over one day ...Will I ever be okay !?

Metaphor - Statement that pretends one things is really something else.

Simile - Statement where you say an object is similar to the other.
( like or as )

Concrete words - Describe things people experience with senses

Abstract words - refer to concepts or feeling

The bond was complete, and I realized she was one of the most amazing people, I’ve met.
Her smile is bright and bold.
I love her soul, the ones who thought she was just there, who really doesn’t notice her or even know her, I knew it was so much more to her.
Her energy and vibe , bounced off the wall to me, It was like we was meant to be connected.
From the world, she was so disconnected. I'm the one who loved her, and showed her affection.

I pretend I don’t see of what is undesirable
It doesn’t move my soul ..
It’s always something , it’s such an unpleasant feeling..

You’re hurting me, with the blame game..
Say that you love me, but how could you feel the same?

Abuse comes in all forms. Verbally you’re killing me, with words that cut deep..
I keep patching myself up.. you keep ripping the bandages off.
It’s amusing to you.
You shatter my heart on a daily ..

Some days are good and some are bad.
Some are wet and rainy and some are dry
Some are stormy, and some are just cold.. like your heart.

I turn a blind eye to a love that will never be told because it’s so hard.. Its so embarrassing how much I love you ... they would say how could you love someone like that!?

And yet , I still do.
A blind eye to being a fool.

A cool breeze , makes me feel free
A cup of coffee or tea , is soothing to me ..
A lit candle burning, puts me at ease ..
A walk around the block, the children laughing makes me smile.
A cruel world, they know nothing about ..
I'm still Living in the moments, trying to figure it all out
Some days are harder than most ..
I find strength within..
I know I'll be okay ..
Never forgetting to breathe.
One day at a time.

In the beginning it was all so simple ... Then you started messing with my mental... What is with you ?
When you are gone , you do everything to make me miss you ...
Oh, how I wanna kiss you ..even when I'm mad.
Your kisses were always so sweet. Your touch was always so gentle ... Lately, your touch feels different. Why ? I don't know .. Your here but your mind is elsewhere .. I lay on your chest, and your heart is not beating the same ...things is changing. Is it you within? Or is it me ? Did i do something ? Is this still something ? You are still the one for me.
Am I even an option to keep , for you? I know all you been through .. You get scared. Cant take that out on me ..I told you , You can count on me.
In the beginning it was so simple ... If you still with me , Im with you !

I was to depressed to love you correctly.
I swear I tried ...
I thought letting u do whatever ,would make u happy and maybe would make me happy. Most nights I cried.
Pretending I didn't care that u went out those nights .
When I never wanted to be alone ..  
all it did was push me away from you.. Everything went falling and crashing into pieces, all that we worked so hard for , there was no more.
Had one foot in , and one foot out the door. Maybe, our love wasn't ready for loving anymore.

It’s time to let go of that pain..
Drown the sorrow ..
Find the peace that echos , at the deep end of your soul ...
Throw away those thoughts, that take over your head..
Throw away those knives that cut deep in your heart ..
Forgive those that cut you deep with words..
Control your emotions...
Pick up the pieces of your face .. trying to prove to others, your worth ..
Build a garden with beautiful roses, smell them in the morning time ..
Drink some coffee, and feel that soothing feeling..
Look in the mirror and touch your body at night ..
Love every part of you.
Let go of the pain.

Yes I'm moody , so what !
I really dont care ..
Cause nobody was ever there.
Those early mornings and long nights. Im the one who wipe my tears through every fight.
With all my might , I had to pretend I was alright ... Im never in the mood. The fake love, the playing the fool.. The trying to smile, being anti social .. People i couldn't get use to.
I'm in my own world, being moody.. "Get out my face"! Im not a cutie.. My family yells upstairs to get my attention, come join the party ...
I was always missing.
In my room, all alone.
I couldn't be around anyone... I didnt want to..The depression took over, so that's why I'm moody.. You would know, If you really knew me!

IF YOU KNOW YOUR POEM OR WRITING IS GOOD. SOME PEOPLE MIGHT NOT LIKE IT. WILL VIEW IT BUT WONT LIKE IT. DONT GET DISCOURAGED. XOXO - LEEANNROSE #POSITIVE #VIBES love is love

Love me less , & respect me more ...
I am not a punching bag ..
I am not the reason why you are mad.
Don't yell at me ...
Dont insult me ...
Dont belittle me ..
Like you hate my guts.

Saying you love me, but bruising my heart
Trying to figure out what’s wrong with me?
Got me questioning my worth..
Looking in the mirror, and I can’t get the right angle..
Can’t take pictures, cause I think the camera is broken.. but it’s only you that’s broken ...

You throw words at my head, got me thinking I’m bugging ..
I gotta think straight...
Maybe you love me to hard ..
You say you love me so much..
I need you to love me a little less
And respect me more ...

You say its not goodbye.
But I can see the fronting in your eyes, I can feel the distance. I can feel the love dying... I can feel something missing ...
I'm not gonna do a lot of crying. Matter fact. Just tell me where your mind is at ? Where your heart is at ? Is me loving you to much, making you not love me back ? Tell me ..

Most nights, I cant wait to fall asleep.... Every morning its so hard to get up.  The sun shines through the window , as I smell the coffee being made..
The smell of that cigarette being lit, ..
I know I'm alive ..
But I still feel so dead.
When the sun shines through the window, I smile all the time ..
Its beautiful to me .. And when it hits my eyes, they look so much brighter and prettier ....
I roll over and yarn .. I streach and try to make my way out the bed. .
Instead, I rest.
The coffee is very soothing.. & even though I know deep down inside I'm lost and broken ...
That sun shining through the window , leaves me open.

..








I’ve been distant from everyone ...
Trying to find myself ...
To only be losing myself in the mist of it all..
Pretending to be okay ..
Which I never was,
I mean wish I was..


I have good days and bad..
My mind race with thoughts uncontrollably..
Evil ones
Good ones
Bad ones
Unrealistic ones..


Sometimes my mind goes blank, sometimes I daydream and feel everything and sometimes I feel nothing at all...

Try to knock me down
I fumble a little but never fall...
I be trippin
These drugs got me lifted
This drink got me numb
I’ve been feeling nothing for to long
It’s scary ..
I can’t let the evil take control,
the devil controls the weak..
I am still head high with so much strength !
Just hurts to be strong sometimes.
I’m disconnecting from myself , trying to connect to people...
I always feel alone .. Even when I’m not.


My heart is crying out for help..
My pride won’t let me get it ...
I’m over it all...
I need to distance myself from my emotions, & my feelings..
& reconnect to my soul

I'm tired of fighting.
Can't believe you said those things to me.
Like wow.
As if I am never surprised...
Your actions
Your manipulative
ways ..
We argue a lot..you say things so hurtful and I'm like wow.
I miss the days we use to laugh and smile .. I still look at you, so beautiful ..
You are wow.
I know I love you like XO.
I do **** because you say so.
Wow.
You got me ,
wrapped around your fingers.
Like wow.
We can be so mean to each other.
But,
We still love ...its like wow.