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Leeann Rose Dec 2020

I’ve been distant from everyone ...
Trying to find myself ...
To only be losing myself in the mist of it all..
Pretending to be okay ..
Which I never was,
I mean wish I was..

I have good days and bad..
My mind race with thoughts uncontrollably..
Evil ones
Good ones
Bad ones
Unrealistic ones..

Sometimes my mind goes blank, sometimes I daydream and feel everything and sometimes I feel nothing at all...

Try to knock me down
I fumble a little but never fall...
I be trippin
These drugs got me lifted
This drink got me numb
I’ve been feeling nothing for to long
It’s scary ..
I can’t let the evil take control,
the devil controls the weak..
I am still head high with so much strength !
Just hurts to be strong sometimes.
I’m disconnecting from myself , trying to connect to people...
I always feel alone .. Even when I’m not.

My heart is crying out for help..
My pride won’t let me get it ...
I’m over it all...
I need to distance myself from my emotions, & my feelings..
& reconnect to my soul
Just a feeling so common ! Real relate
Charlie's Web Feb 2019
An open letter to my mothers boyfriend,

When you blame millennials for the current state of our nation, you are disregarding the environment we've learn to survive in. Cookies hanging over our heads, blindly following the sound of people celebrating empty dreams. Dreams recited by our fathers.  I am not trying to place blame on you, as I know you too have been infected by these unspoken rules. You too had a cookie hanging over your head. But I want you to know that our cookies just look different. As time passes recipes’ recalibrate and cookies transform. And I feel for you, maybe you’re still chasing the cookie, maybe it’s getting harder to chase, or maybe you ate the cookie and still felt hungry. But if we really want to have this conversation, about the current state of our nation, I’m gonna need for you to stop talking about cell phones and 20 something year olds and start talking about where these cookies came from!

— The End —