The menace  is of itself.
"Me" being the only troubles to face.
As one falls, will one always succeed in getting back up?
Alone,
As the answer lasts for so long.
How long?
How long until reality smashes and shatters the dream?
The truth being, as it always has.

Consecutively eating one meal a day,
despite the knowledge of the physical attributes that come with doing so.
The endless weekend black outs and bathroom floor surrenders.
The sleepless nights lurking for company.
The overwhelming guilt in attempts to start over again.
The three hour long anxiety attacks that cease to subside.
You realize you haven't taken care of yourself;
that numb became such an acceptable state of being.

I know it might have looked like "all or nothing" from your point of view, but you were terribly mistaken. At five years old, I promised to never love a man that couldn't appreciate slow dancing in the kitchen.

But I loved you for years anyway, and let myself down. I had to accept that dancing alone was as good as it would get.

So when you wouldnt choose me in the end and expected me to stick around anyway, it wasn't all or nothing.

I realized you had never chosen me. And I stopped choosing myself too.

That's wasn't love.

she wore moonlight like lingerie
and made gentle the wild oceans of my soul