Life is black and white
One moment you are full of feels
Another you are nothing but an empty vase
Tell me which is worse
Tell me which is better

The feeling of being accepted
The feeling of being appreciated for lil’ things
The feeling of belonging to someone and someplace
The feeling of chasing dreams with hope
The feeling of inspiration brewing within you
The feeling of loving life while watching the sun set
The feeling of the sipping on the warm coffee
The feeling of cold water running down your body
The feeling of waking up to a sunny morning
The feeling of overcoming your fear of dogs
The feeling of achievement after finishing a 3000-word essay
The feeling of being

Or

The peaceful feeling of being lost in your own dimension
The peaceful feeling of not talking to anyone
The peaceful feeling of not having to trust a soul
The peaceful feeling of laying hopelessly  
The peaceful feeling of the 3am routine
The peaceful feeling of the bitter sensation of liquor
The peaceful feeling of hot water running in the dark space
The peaceful feeling of not leaving your bed
The peaceful feeling of gazing at the ceiling
The peaceful feeling of just being

Tell me which is worse
Tell me which is better

I like the kind of intimacy we share


so gentle

in no rush

taking our time to be

intoxicating

it's sweet & playful


I don't know what plans God has for me but I am glad that I experienced such a feeling

you are made of
strawberries & cigarettes

when the smoke clears
wish you'll still be here sitting pretty

when the senses return
wish you'll still hold my hand

when the eyes are sober
wish you'll still look at me

the moon burns brighter glaring at me
shamelessly shying away on your name

the moon burns brighter
glaring at me
shying away on your name

while I shamelessly
hide in my misery
of your poisoned
pillow talks  

but

                                                               ­                           the moon sees it all
                                                             ­                           even under my skin
                                                                ­                     even over my pretend
                                                         ­                                     truly wondering
                                                                ­                               how I am doing

scared to be alone
I rather live in your betrayals

all the small things you work on gets bigger altogether,
imagine the bigger picture and start now.

Neutrality / n.

absence of decided views, expressions, or strong feelings

"I am in all sorts of neutrality."

who wouldn't do whatever it takes to be fine

They won’t just touch my soul and set me free
Eagerly will open the deepest of wounds and fest on my worst fears
Harshly undress my faith and crush my hope

Victoriously laugh to celebrate my doom
Bleed me red to suffer in dry tears
Waltz with my ghost to slowly scatter my temple  

Taunt to enliven my mistakes
Proudly glorifying my shames
Only to win a soul that has been defeated

I sense them overstepping my shadow
The monsters catching up with my heart and mind
Will I score the final touchdown or will they devour me whole

Touch so contagious
The poison burns running wild in my veins
Won’t be long for when I am all at once taken away

this hour of the day feels heavy

expressing love without having to stop myself from feeling the depth of what we share

the bad you gave me
clears away from my system
you no longer live in the depts of my being
i no longer give you the authority

the rotten you gave me
disappears so easily
you were no solid
i now see that clearly

love you the right to feel everything
love you the right to be wrong
love you some mercy

healing is a non-stop growth
so painful
so fruitful

a gift to yourself
you give by suffering
you give by a choice

a gift like no other
a gift for eternity
a gift no one can ****** away

there is no end to it
only levels and levels
of a stronger version

the day you embrace it
it leaves you
like everyone

maybe that is indeed for the better

hoping you are mine what's meant to be
all that's you fit perfectly with my wildest dream

sitting still with moving thoughts
pretending nothing can break me more
you come and go like the wind
leave me wondering if I should feel warm or cold

suffering for sanity
only smiles on my face
guts are sickened of my imagery frame
praying for a better God’s plan

every once awhile I win the battle
of sanity and peace within
there you come again with twisted turns
blurring my worth with your twisted says

I pour a basket of chances to cover all your unjustifiable actions

. . . . . . .  . i bite my lower lip
. . . . .ready to tease the tease
                                                 the taste of your swollen lips
                                                 lingering on the tip of my tongue
                                                 ***** eyes glimmering in the dark  
                          come to me  
                          come home
                                                we’ll celebrate. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
                                                let's toast . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

the problem with me is that I rather know how it's going to be
then go through it

your spell is slowly wearing off
off my mind and soul
the ink you splashed all over my heart
is starting to leak

soon enough
the spirit of your fragrance
will vanish
in thin air

the curse lies in your return
please don’t look back
don’t call me
for one last glance

the smile on my face
the clarity in my heart
are truly named after you

stop stealing from me
for what I have left is not enough
for what you have is my entire heart

feels right imagining the good things happening with you
feels wrong expecting them from you

it's not tiring being happy
it's ******* tiring not being sad and bothered

your hands explore my body
like a paintbrush on the canvas

we stand here making melody
that might or might not last its hype

the thing about storms
is that they are missed when gone

make noises in your head so you can’t hear your heart