"uncapped" poems
her favorite color is blue
her hair is blonde.
her lips are blue.
so are her fingers.
her nails are silver.
her heart is cold.
it’s winter here.
below freezing at this point.
blue.
the snow is a blue-white,
its untouchable.
cold, to the point where it hurts
she is blue.
she is dead.
blue
blue
blue
blue.
she was pale.
like a ghost.
maybe she was one.
pale.
blue.
she was smiling at me.
her lips were blue.
dark
blue.
her silver fingers
tapped along the
desk.
she had a blue pen.
uncapped, poised to write.
blue ink flowed out;
the pen broke,
ink spilling on her hands.
she didn't mind.
she told me she liked
blue.
she is dead.
she didn’t clean it up.
blue everywhere.
i went over to help her
she didn't know me.
she smiled, her lips blue.
dark
blue.
i smiled back.
i handed her a towel;
she cleaned.
the teacher wasn’t looking.
her hair was long,
cascading.
the ends of it,
blue.
her silver nails touch my
hands in thanks.
i went back to
my seat.
my friend looked at me.
i looked back.
he looked at the blue girl,
towel still in her hands.
he raised an eyebrow at me;
i shake my head.
blue girl stares at her pen,
broken in half,
the insides spilling out,
slowly then all of it gone,
wiped away like
it
wasn’t
there in the first place.
blue still on her mind.
we kissed.
it was after school.
i was standing outside,
and she came up to me.
to say thank you.
for helping her.
she was pretty.
her hair was pretty.
she was pretty.
she smiled,
i smiled back,
she stepped closer,
her blue dress blowing in the
wind.
it was spring
she was
alive.
and breathing.
blue.
i saw lots of blue.
her lips were blue.
dark blue,
and touched mine.
blue on pink,
silver on clear.
she pulled away
first.
smiled at me.
walked away.
blue lipstick on my lips
still.
i liked her.
her blue lips and
silver fingers.
they were part of her.
she was pretty.
my friend slapped me on the back
for getting
a kiss from her.
like it was a competition.
but it wasn’t.
he wouldn’t have been able to
handle her anyways.
she’s her own person,
an enigma of her own.
a didn’t understand
her myself.
she was beautiful.
she was alive.
i didn’t see her again
until the weekend.
she was covered in blue paint
in the paint store.
i needed to repaint
my room.
she offered to help.
she’s in my house,
in my room,
we’re alone
together.
i wonder if
she’ll
kiss me again.
she did kiss me.
when i touched her silver fingers,
she looked at me
and kissed me
again.
i didn’t pull away.
she pressed me
against my
wall,
blue paint on my
back,
on her hands,
in my hair.
i looked at her,
she looked at me.
we kissed again.
her hands on my shoulders,
she was a pretty
blue girl,
in my room.
she was warm.
she liked my name.
i liked hers.
i liked her.
a lot.
it was summer.
she was still
alive,
even prettier.
her hair was still blonde,
still silver.
she got a tan.
she knows me.
i know her.
i love her.
she doesn’t know.
i met her mom,
she’s also blue.
she met my family,
she loves them.
its fall,
her tan is gone,
back to
blue,
dark blue.
she said she loves me
i say i love her,
it’s winter and she is
dead.
i visit her grave,
buy her while flowers and
paint them
blue-dark-blue so
she’ll like
them.
i tell her i love
her,
that I’ll see
her soon.
i buy pink and
white flowers,
paint the white
blue.
pink for me,
blue for her.
she is dead, but
she is still
alive.
and blue.
Apr 4, 2017
Apr 4, 2017 at 11:32 AM UTC
.
The oceans are dying,
Coral reefs are bleached,
Ghostly acidic in the seas,
Climate is changing, not for Nero,
But for subjects who wait in whirlwinds
Eye, underneath uncapped mountain peaks,
And water is draining underground. Where is
Reason, where is sense uncommon? Not with
Elected hands who are wringing to lords of zero,
Whose legions are sent off, engaged in foreign wars,
To scathe, faraway dramas brought back home,
Politicians squabble, as they reel, cashing in,
Seals of unapprovals, witness hollow, low rings,
Infrastructure crumbles, above our dry heads,
And Nero plays his fiddle, in a land of perky dead,
John Lennon said NYC was in reality the new
Rome, soon set to burn, in a decade or so,
Nero knows, Nero plays, could give a feck'
Humanity is Nero playing his fiery fiddle
There is only one issue of news that matters,
Not bread, or circus, Kardashians, or deflated
Footballs, it is our survival, the earth, heating up,
Is angry and we are small, deaf, blind and numb,
A mankind of fools with Nero playing his fiddle.
Jun 25, 2015
Jun 25, 2015 at 8:35 PM UTC
You are the smell of the decaying leaves;
The leaves I long for when life is in bloom.
You are the soft thud of the door
As I slip out, unnoticed.
You are the breath I take, emerging from the frigid ocean,
And the light I illuminate upon my arrival home on the blackest of nights.
You are not, however the electricity,
Or lack thereof when the power surges in the midst of an essay.
You may be pleased to know that you are not that song
Overplayed on the radio that never fails to irk me.
You are also not the piu right before the mezzo forte,
For that is me. I am the piu preceding the mezzo forte.
I am the spare tire on the underside of your car,
And I am also the F sharp to the B natural, a few cents flat.
It may not surprise you that I am the negative sign you forgot to distribute,
And the feeling of snow seeping in through your boots.
You are not the feeling of snow seeping in a pair of boots.
You would like to know that you are the smell of a sharpie,
Uncapped for the first time, and you are the excitement of using it first.
You are even the taste of catching the first snowflake of the winter,
And eating the first s’more of the summer.
You are the chap stick, found in the pocket of the pants in the hamper,
Or perhaps even the twenty dollar bill in the other.
But I am the learner’s permit that went through the wash.
I am also the candle whose wick is drowned in its own wax.
I am not, however the smell of the decaying leaves.
You are the smell of the decaying leaves.
You will now and forever be the smell of the decaying leaves;
The leaves I long for when life is in bloom.
Dec 20, 2013
Dec 20, 2013 at 8:34 PM UTC
The desk is a refreshing change of pace from the
uneasy comfort of the bed. I
eye the flimsy container of trail mix
lying in wait, my lightly salted prey.
rolling from beneath the body-like warmth of my
blanket cocoon,
I stumble towards nourishment.
I attack my snack,
and settle into the
beeswax halo of drunk hung Christmas lights,
mistakenly onto an uncapped felt pen,
tip bleeding into a beige throw
bought for a newly redecorated room.
Unnoticed, the stain spreads,
advancing on the threads of the throw.
I will, perhaps, see it tomorrow
and curse silently,
and wonder if it can be
hidden by rearrangement and ultimately
decide that a little folding will do the trick.
Outside, the snow freezes a fresh exoskeleton,
primed for crushing the footprints of strangers.
Jan 29, 2013
Jan 29, 2013 at 4:25 PM UTC
I'm frustrated
with myself
No, better yet with time
Or rather, my count
the amount of times you have crossed my mind
Whether lyrically or in theory
I've imagined our make-up
A love that would spur from 3 simple words
and like a dream
I'm awakened
wiping my eyes and stretching
not fully realizing that my mind's fabrication
has no relation
to my present situation
which consists of
my determination
to get you to accept our relations
I'm frustrated
with myself
No better yet with time
or rather my count
the amount of times
I've uncapped my pen
to let it dance along my pages
yet my hand even as it tires
working to depict my heart's desires
but when I look back at what I've created
all I see is you
subliminally written across my pages
hidden behind poetic rhymes
I hate it
I know deep down its truth
I'm frustrated
with myself
no better yet with time
or rather with my count
the amount of times
I lay my head down to sleep
and can't help but think
of the nights you spent with me
those of tranquility
where I would lie awake to listen
to you blink
Those nights where you forgot your oath to discretion
and showed if only for a second
your affection
The rub of my cheek
or my hands yours to keep
as I pretended to sleep
daring not move
fearing your retreat
I'm frustrated
with myself
No its not time
for he is a figment of my imagination
personified
that I use to describe
distant memories
which still seem
to occupy my mind
When in fact its my own heart
which beats distantly in my past
as if that
will resurrect
my grasp
on another we cherished
my mind pleads the memories to cease
because my time spent on what was
shreds my peace
But I cannot help but admit
that my frustration
or better yet Time
or rather my count
those times
seems to forever briefly
brighten my day
Nov 29, 2012
Nov 29, 2012 at 1:36 AM UTC
I read a story the other day.
I read the headline.
It said: There is no god and we are his prophets.
We drive slowly on Saturdays.
At night in our home there are noises,
the dull thumps of ghosts.
We used to comment. Now we rollover.
I wake and return the blankets I’ve stolen.
In the mornings there is music.
A kitchen dance of tip-toes and arms at war with air.
The new car with its heated seats.
There’s a pace I like.
It’s microwaved tea;
it’s 11:30 a.m.;
it’s one more chapter before.
I listen to you get ready,
a chorus of tubes uncapped
and capped, of hairdryers
plugged and unplugged.
You sing softly.
I hear this, too.
Beyond this house,
a brook, a mountain, a trout.
Distances mapped.
Plans drawn with
parallel lines, listless and drifting.
Within,
there is no god, and he is love,
and we are his prophets.
You are my practitioner.
And I, yours.
Dec 23, 2014
Dec 23, 2014 at 4:58 PM UTC
All of the toothpaste has now been pushed from the tube.
Pushing the substance out was a simple task at first. When the toothpaste would overflow at the slightest compression when the cap was removed.
Day after day there was less and less minty paste within the tube, and this is when the struggle began. I pushed so hard that my fingers became reddened and sore just to get enough to produce a thin layer over the head of the brush.
As time progressed, there was scarcely anything left within the container, and that which remained started to harden and cling for its life on the edges of the tube.
The less that remained, the harder I pushed, and the more the tube resisted.
I put all of my weight on a large brush and compressed the plastic until I gave up with frustration. Then I just sat and stared at the mostly empty container of toothpaste. I contemplated why it would fight so hard to keep that last little bit.
I threw the container to the side and replaced it when the struggle became too much effort.
Then every day, for what seemed to be years, that tube sat in front of the mirror and never shrank in size. Even still, I'm not sure why I kept it there. There were moments when it looked up at me with its spiteful reassurance that this rubbery tube would never be fully devoid of its contents.
Even when other containers were completely emptied and discarded into the waste, this one stayed on the counter where it had always been.
I often wondered why I let it sit there for so long.
Decaying.
And then today something happened...
I saw your picture and realized I don't love you anymore.
All of the toothpaste has now been pushed from the tube.
Feb 21, 2013
Feb 21, 2013 at 11:40 AM UTC
Fast food
of love,
eating, eating, eating,
there's no discussion, no daydream or
bright-eye'd plan,
only blankets, ******* Jack rings,
and plastic floating promises
in a draining bathtub.
The blackbirds circle and sing,
while you download new ringtones,
paint your nails,
and screen.
Once you've got the knowledge,
you can't fake ignorant bliss.
Once you've got the knowledge,
it's no-hit-all-miss.
Soften you up
with promise rings,
Hallmark cards,
and confetti strings,
the ******** frees,
the ******** ease.
Once you've got the knowledge,
you can't fake ignorant bliss.
Once you've got the knowledge,
how can you love yourself?
I'm under your skin,
with my pen uncapped,
I'm the love your mind's got
on tap,
as the cigarette burns,
as the knives unfurl,
I know,
you know,
that ultimately
you're growing sore
from the impending
marital bore.
So blow up the bridge,
walk through the alleys,
let the guilt of your heart
dissolve in coffee,
the time--now,
as it's always been
because
once you've got the knowledge,
you can't fake ignorant bliss.
Once you've got the knowledge,
there's a riotous beat in your chest.
Aug 6, 2011
Aug 6, 2011 at 12:53 AM UTC
There's no reason or rime
My time has not come
Years and fears
Seasons of pitch black
My love Destitute with delusions
Damaged with deranged solutions
My mind painfully persistent
On being unloved
The creeks of my haunted mansion
Bleed without a purpose
Skeletons worship the past
Bones dance around unrequited desires
I dine with golden lambs
And taste the sheep in my hand
My teeth burning through the wet flesh
Holding dainty my ideals
My fainted veil is close to tearing
My pain inst aware of the glass wall between our truth
My mirage sickly - marred with battle wounds
My dynamite left uncapped
The memories soaked in blue
Mines hidden, ticking bombs blew in my face
I'm dancing around the bones of my dreams
Mar 27, 2016
Mar 27, 2016 at 2:33 AM UTC
.
The oceans are dying,
Coral reefs are bleached,
Ghostly acidic in the seas,
Climate is changing, not for Nero,
But for subjects who wait in whirlwinds
Eye, underneath uncapped mountain peaks,
And water is draining underground. Where is
Reason, where is sense uncommon? Not with
Elected hands who are wringing to lords of zero,
Whose legions are sent off, engaged in foreign wars,
To scathe, faraway dramas brought back home,
Politicians squabble, as they reel, cashing in,
Seals of unapprovals, witness hollow, low rings,
Infrastructure crumbles, above our dry heads,
And Nero plays his fiddle, in a land of perky dead,
John Lennon said NYC was in reality the new
Rome, soon set to burn, in a decade or so,
Nero knows, Nero plays, could give a feck'
Humanity is Nero playing his fiery fiddle
There is only one issue of news that matters,
Not bread, or circus, Kardashians, or deflated
Footballs, it is our survival, the earth, heating up,
Is angry and we are small, deaf, blind and numb,
A mankind of fools with Nero playing his fiddle.
Aug 26, 2017
Aug 26, 2017 at 6:07 PM UTC
They sit beneath the moon
in their newborn love
and spoon-fed dreams.
There’s magic in innocence
that is both a promise, and
a suitcase of unopened wounds.
His toothpaste left uncapped,
and her hairbrush abandoned
on his pillow are smiles
that have not yet become
the war of the roses.
There is no map for the future,
only forever spoken from lips
not yet bruised by reality.
I feel ancient with my weight of years,
sacrifices, grief, humor, loss, and love
broken in like uncomfortable shoes.
I hear them call through a screen window
to come sit with them…
With a sigh I step out the door,
and walk out into moonlight
that one night will shine through a curtain
on two innocents who discover the
lock on the suitcase is broken.
Aug 27, 2025
Aug 27, 2025 at 5:14 PM UTC
He stood in the darkness, reaching for the uncapped bottle, pouring himself another. Why has she left? he thought.
Rain thrashed against the window, and for a moment he was lost in a drip that ran down the pane.
"What now," he said to himself, as he took a swig, unaware that he'd made his decision and was already half-a-bottle in.
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 11:14 PM UTC
Painkillers fallen all around me
In every direction, I lay amongst them
Such a terrible sound was made when they spilled
Painkillers fallen all around me
Woken from my slumber
I put one in my mouth and do not deal with the rest until morning
Painkillers fallen all around me
Such a safety to have so many unswallowed
But how will I feel when they run out?
I count the number as I pick them up
Like a clock ticking louder with each second, cautioning, that my pain better be gone before the time this bottle is finished
Not until now did I realize the luxury of sharing a family bottle
Painkillers fallen all around me
They fall so my tears don’t have to
But I’m not fooled by their innocent appearance
I know they are a bargain
A trade for a temporary mend,
So my heart can quiet its hurt for a little while
Painkillers fallen all around me
But why do they want to **** my pain?
Why can’t they see that my pain is a part of me?
Can’t they understand that without pain there is no living?
Why do they want to **** me?
Painkillers fallen all around me
Making it so easy for me to ignore my sadness
I can live in this world if only I let a part of me die
If I stop trying to sing my story
If I smile when I want to frown
If I let the painkillers do their job
Painkillers fallen all around me
They wouldn’t have fallen if the **** bottle wasn’t so hard to open,
Making me prefer to leave it uncapped
There was a time when I never cared that the bottle was sealed
Oh how I envy that now
Where can I find the strength to close the lid?
Painkillers fallen all around me
Feb 8, 2020
Feb 8, 2020 at 3:16 AM UTC
Maroon [suicide note pt one]
Love letters written in dried blood
Memories that were once ancient history
The colors swirling into a galaxy
I woke up today and everything was maroon
She said there wouldn’t be a tomorrow
I hate it when she’s right
I carved her name on my arm
The only memento my body will leave
Besides my heart
Untitled [suicide note pt two]
Bliss is a warm gun
Melting in your mouth
Candle wax dripping into opened wounds
Blistered by the birth of prayers
There was a rainbow over this world
There was a rainbow
Vanished before I could touch the halo
Untitled
I’m leaving this world
A Love Letter [suicide note pt three]
I looked at your pictures again tonight
And when I was done
I smashed my fists into glass
I need to get these demons out of my head
But now there’s just a trail of blood
I smoothed a wrinkled piece of paper out and uncapped my black pen
The one you bought me for our anniversary
I etched out the details of my soul and slowly filled it in with my memories
I still don’t feel any better
Remember I’ll always love you
I keep my promises
To the end
Apr 24, 2011
Apr 24, 2011 at 9:59 AM UTC
Your impatience is marked
by dog-eared pages,
of unfinished novels,
never to be revisited.
It speaks volumes
and song changes during our car rides,
again, and again,
…and again.
It’s your forgetfulness;
the socks under my bed,
the half-drunk soda,
and uncapped glue.
It’s the way
you hurry me into bed at night,
and refuse to let me leave
when the sun’s rays peak through dusty blinds.
It’s your lingering touch,
your constant desire for what’s to come,
for your surprises to be revealed,
your wit to be matched,
and the look on my face,
as I wait to see what’s next.
Oct 21, 2013
Oct 21, 2013 at 4:32 PM UTC
So it's been awhile,
dear keyboard of mine.
Wait,
I suppose you aren't mine.
Just a little piece of plastic,
that takes up my time.
Do you even understand the words that come out?
I know I don't, but the bottles uncapped.
I give up all the worrying,
the shame.
I give up wondering, if any one will know my name.
Dear keyboard are you playing the same game.
You're in this as much as I am.
You're half as responsible,
and you don't seem to care.
Keyboard, I love you.
For something that has no feelings,
I feel you love me too.
Oct 21, 2014
Oct 21, 2014 at 1:17 AM UTC
I propped my heels on a vinyl
trumpet case beside a Rubik's Cube
with mostly white squares. Steel hinges
and a combination latch
kept a midnight groove contained.
Last load's dryer sheets found
their way inside my backpack,
picking up character from uncapped
pens and highlighters.
Sep 22, 2014
Sep 22, 2014 at 12:53 AM UTC
blue
blue
blue
blue.
she was pale,
like a ghost.
maybe she was one.
pale.
blue.
she was smiling at me.
her lips were blue.
dark
blue.
her silver fingers
tapped along the
desk.
she had a blue pen.
uncapped, poised to write.
blue ink flowed out;
the pen broke,
ink spilling on her hands.
she didn't mind.
she told me she liked
blue.
she is dead.
Mar 24, 2017
Mar 24, 2017 at 3:00 PM UTC
You were a phone number
on a folded piece of napkin
wedged inside the bottom of my purse
where the matchbooks and chewing gum wrappers fell
with all the change and lint and dried, uncapped pens
And I watched you float down
and almost miss your mark
when I emptied the bag above the trash
to make room for other things that were lately.
I remember you writing
then putting my pen inside your jacket pocket
thinking to myself, "This is it, this is really it"
when it wasn't.
Jan 30, 2010
Jan 30, 2010 at 1:05 PM UTC
a little girl once wanted and thought she could keep the entire world. every night she cried at the sight of the stars, her heart burst whenever the flowers would bloom, she'd dance in the rain whenever it would so much as drizzle.
one night, when her little heart began to overflow with so much yearning, she walked to a cliff by the sea with a jar in hand. she opened the jar, holding it up to the sky and watched the delicate universe make its way inside it all so gently. immediately, she capped the jar and was amazed that she held the world in her hands. for many days she took it around with her, leaping through rivers on stepping stones and walking through sea shores in the light of day.
one day, suddenly, the bottle fell from her hands and her heart stopped. she could not believed she had dropped it. she picked up the jar, and suddenly it seemed as if the universe was wounded. she could not believe she did such a thing.
on the night of that unfortunate day, she made her way to a mountaintop with a heavy heart and her vision murky from tears. just as she was high enough to touch the clouds, she carefully chose a spot and stood firmly, still sniffling a little bit.
"i did not take care of you when you trusted me. i do not deserve you, universe." she said, her voice shakey as she uncapped the jar. "i am sorry."
in the same manner she caught the universe, she held her open jar towards the heavens and watched the universe pour out the bottle in wisps—the stars and planets and all of space and time dispersed before her eyes and again, she began to cry. she wondered how she was even able to keep such a beautiful thing and how she had failed it.
days passed and the girl was lonely again. as she strolled past plants and vines, they would wilt in sadness. the sun would shine so palely in the morning that even the moon could not console it. she was so sad that even nature joined her in silence.
on one morning, she woke up feeling a different beating in her heart. she stood up from her flower bed to look at her reflection, and to her surprise she found something shining just right under her left shoulder.
there, she found the universe had come back to her—not in the same jar it used to be in, but in her heart.
"do not ever think you do not deserve the world just because of your shortcomings," she heard the universe whisper, her hand in her chest. "i have found my way to your heart and here i will stay."
and that is how the girl began to carry the universe she had so loved in her heart, forever.
Oct 25, 2016
Oct 25, 2016 at 8:07 AM UTC
Of woe and photography
I love little more than neither
upon my dresser,
strewn coke and ether
I was stolen but for an instant
wiederholen ‘I am an idjit’
and it was lost before I knew it.
I searched for it
high and low
from attic shelf to basement floor
not finding as much as a drawer.
Through the open window the wind screamed
hinted me some and swindled me clean
out I ran, into forests serene
into snow and fading pines that once were green.
My eyes stalked all they could see
away in the distance - red tapestry
silken and linen, it couldn’t be!
my dresser lay waiting under a willow tree.
And quick I snapped
with bottle uncapped,
prayed to the winds
and quietly relapsed.
So now here I lay,
in a sleepless dream
upon my dresser
in forests serene.
May 1, 2013
May 1, 2013 at 2:42 PM UTC
Crime Scene
(Flint, Michigan)
Yellow cordon tape hums
low in a stiff breeze off
Saginaw Bay
a norther that scatters
empty evidence markers
up and down Miller Road
eddies on Dupont Street
uncapped and droning.
Tennyson, Bishop and Frost
lost for words
this morning working
my way through a pallet of water
dead poets urgent
as blue sky box kites
specks above a crime scene
easing the truck past
houses of the common
abandoned down Whitman
transcendence, surely
for those forbearing souls
over on Emerson.
Sep 29, 2016
Sep 29, 2016 at 7:07 AM UTC
_Trigger warning: Self harm, cutting_
I didn't really mean to...
But all of a sudden...
I was opening the third drawer...
My hand pulled it out...
Uncapped the blade...
Then I caressed it
Ran my fingers around the tip
Tested it on my ankle
But no... that's not what I really wanted
I know better
I know what I've been craving
So then it was there
In my hand on my wrist
And it slashed three times
Stopping only when blood began to flow
And it did flow.... and flow...
I just wanted to watch it...
As serenity washed over my body
Finally
For once
I'm calm
At peace
Oct 26, 2019
Oct 26, 2019 at 9:15 PM UTC