Help me understand what I mean to you...
Help me clarify that I am something, cause im tired too..
Tired of the games and blues, filled with exhaustion from my heart buying in to your lies soo much its costin me,happiness...
I wanna know for sure!'show me an exact image! of reason, why be with him, if I known you longer than you been breathin?
All this teasin is misleading, do you want me? tell me! dont leave me hangin..
Im madden and sadden by the though he has your lips, what happens to me  if it last long, and  I just come around like a bad caugh.
I've lost...
What we had is old news, but i guess time shared holds no meaning in helping you choose.
Don't come to me if your confused, i refuse to help you and your trouble, for now on do you...
Cause i been doin me, never had a problem I couldn't solved em easily with alil alcohol and **** cause you cared less about me and more about him..
I was a friend the best there was, the best there is, the best there ever will be, one you'll probably will not miss.
Or even noticed, if I disappeared, Im just a ghost, a shadowed memory,  still wanna be wanted but its hopeless...truly hopeless, why I wrote this? It won't change a **** thing about her, why Am  I still hopin? Why I care? Why I dare to even mention your name know you wont come to my aid, your never there...
Always with another or him, not knowing who you want, i was wish i was in your option, I can do much more, but never gained a chance to prove, and you wonder why I feel summertime  blues....
Im the best, One you'll never loose..
Ima alot of things but theres a side I never get to show, a side you will love, but you always say no, not givin me a chance as if I was bronze not worth your Gold,
but listen baby im silver, way out there but a good catch, ima outfielder,
something you can be near uhh never shed a tear soo why you always out me?
Always doubt me, never wanna like me, knowing im the right piece,
always misplace me baby, i can clean up mess like a wipee, 
whipe your tears on my white T,
i wanna be your  lycan whose fightin for what he likes see? but I feel there's no time for me...so again  why am I writing????
I am just helpless, a romantic put on the shelf like an old novel,
these say stomach the pain, but I put these dead butterflies in a bottle...
alone in my household, holding close what I call ghost hopes...Dead long ago, now it just cold like the snow, could build a snow man, But I just say no,
Why bother like Stone Sour...it will never happen, I blacken with thoughts, cryin in shower.
Stressin myself because my heart feels like its in a cyclical orbit,
of doubt and hopes, a limbo that continues to lower my esteem
and stings with pain like hornets..

BY: Emmanuel Jv Hernandez
5/23/14
(might add and edit later depending if i doesnt flow the way i want or needs more insight to get across what im feeling)


comment what you think!!!!!

Intro: 2Pac

There's gon' be some stuff you gon' see
that's gon' make it hard to smile in the future.
But through whatever you see,
through all the rain and the pain,
you gotta keep your sense of humor.
You gotta be able to smile through all this *******.
Remember that.
Mmm, yeah.
Keep ya head up.Yeah.

Verse One: 2Pac

Our lifestyles be close captioned
addicted to fatal attractions
Pictures of actions be played back
in the midst of mashin'
No fairy tales for this young black male
Some see me stranded in this land of hell, jail, and crack sales
Hustlin' and heart be a ***** culture
or the repercutions while bustin' on backstabbin' vultures
Sellin' my soul for material wishes, fast cars and *******
Wishin' I live my life a legend, immortalized in pictures
Why shed tears? Save your sympathy
My childhood years were spent buryin' my peers in the cemetary
Here's a message to the newborns, waitin' to breathe
If you believe then you can achieve
Just look at me
Against all odds, though life is hard we carry on
Livin' in the projects, broke with no lights on
To all the seeds that follow me
protect your essence
Born with less, but you still precious
Just smile for me now

Chours: Johnny P, 2Pac

Smiiiiiile for me , won't you smile (smile for me now)
Just smiiiile (smile), smile for me
(What cha lookin' all sad for, ***** you black, smile for me now)
Smiiiiiile for me (***** you ain't got nothin' to be worried about)
Won't you smile (no doubt, smile for me now) just smiiiiile
(And the next generation)

Verse Two: Scarface

Now as I open up my story
with the blaze a your blunts
And you can picture thoughts slowly
up on phrases I wrote
And I can walk you through the days that I done
I often wish that I could save everyone
but I'm a dreamer
Have you ever seen a ***** who was strong in the game
overlookin' his tomorrows and they finally came?
Look back on childhood memories and I'm still feelin' the pain
Turnin' circles in my life came to dealin' *******
To many hassles in my local life, survivin' the strain
And a man without a focus, life could drive him insane
Stuck inside a ghetto fantasy hopin' it'd change
But when I focus on reality we broke and in chains
Had a dream of livin' wealthy and makin' it big
And after all my momma's thankin' God for blessin' the child
All my momma gots to do now is collect it and smile
Smile

Chorus (without 2pac)

Verse Three: 2Pac

**** the world as we ???? and witness furious speeds
of nasty questions keep us all stressin', curious G's
Backstabbed and bleedin', ******' thoughts laced with ****
Learnin', duckin' stray shots, bullets be hot, they burnin'
Inhalin' sherm smoke, visualized the flames
Will I be smothered by my own pain?
Strange whispers, cowards conversate, so quick to dis us
Takin' pictures for the feds, and desperate hopes they'd get us
Hit us off, give us plenty centuries, forgive my sins
Since I ain't in many penitenturies the best revenge is **** friends
We military minded soldiers, bustin' shots blindly
Tryin' to find Jehovah to help me
Somebody save me
Lost and crazy, scared to drop a seed hopin' I ain't cursed my babies
Maybe now ****** feel me now, picture my pain
embrace my words make the world change
And still I smile *****

(Scarface talking)

And now a moment of silence, let us pray
And as you journey into outerspace
may the angels help to lead the way
shine up on your soul to keep you safe
And all the homies that done passed away
They there to greet you as you pass the gates
And as you headed to the tunnel's light
I hope it leads to eternal life
We say the prayers for our homie 'Pac
Smile

(Smile for me)
(All ya need to do is smile)
(Woooo smile for me)
(Come on smile for me)

The Love of God
Is not average love
Definitely not the love of today
Is this why people look in such a way
Which keeps them guessing
Wondering why you’re not stressin’
Over hurts of the past nor yesterday  
See, I have experienced His Agape

I’ve learned, every hurt is not a deal breaker
Every wrong deed does not warrant a person being deserted
When was the last time you hurt a friend
Not for the first time, but… again
Sometimes forgiveness and restoration is for the best
Not all hurts should be overly stressed
Have you participated in your fair share of mess…?
I guess, yes

Practice restoration and forgiveness
Because…
Every hurt is not a deal breaker
Every wrong deed does not warrant a person being deserted
Walk in His Agape love
Simply His Love “Unconditional”

~Butterfly εїз  2014©

1968  I remember 1968..
The land of milk and honey.
The war was still cold but not
The Tet. That ***** was hot.

1954 I made my debut. Lotta my boys did too.
** chi Minh amped up his crew.
Can't. We all just get along.

No way LBJ. Young guys all over town stressin the lottery.
The randomness of body bag.
Friday hip deep in rice paddy.
Monday a letter to your moms.

By Arcassin Burnham

Pretty flowers...
They bloom when disasters take place in a matter of hours,
Do you run and hide when the **** hits the fan,
Or do you fall to mind control wearing pair of vans,
Kick back with a can of Miller watching your lady nag your face off,
Was this the life you were planning ahead for in the future when
Everything was so simple and now you got flaws,

Ah ah not me ! My future is solidified like the back of my two front teeth,
Talk is cheap , I don't really care about your criticism , don't bother me,
I'm still on my feet, I'm not six feet deep yet so thats a plus especially,
I'll do what's right for me, I'll find a new resistance out of life though
These trees,
There's nothing to say, who cares if I get too personal any other day,
You're all in the way, I have no place here in this dump , I don't wanna
Stay,
The sweat on my face , brings so much Shame in this existence , I can't even fly
Away,
To the place I belong , I wanna go home.

/

They say get a grip on life son and I'm already two steps ahead,
About to turn into the big two-o this year , glad I'm not dead,
Lead the strong into new beginnings where the promise will be as
Promised as tomorrow,
Lived your whole life being scrutinized in societies eyes bring so
Much sorrow,
Hi I'm a citizen,
That's wonders where we'll all be in ten years,
Do we get more than a mention?
Lying to you on the news , looking at a bunch of words like it's scripted,
Yeah the devils clever too , fighting this off like a muse,
They'll erase you like you never existed,
I was never the type to be weak,
I've been mostly living around women,
It's okay cause I stayed on my feet,
Now I'm more of a man than many men.

/

Feel The agonizing pain of being in the midst of
aggravation,
I was always someone that would go right to the hatred,
When it came down to it , no one would bust a grape and,
when it came down to it i was always yours and,

No folding of the hands while praying to a God That would
be busy anyway.

It's just me against the world
[Girl:]
Oooohhh, oooohhh
[2Pac:]
Nuttin to lose...
It's just me against the world baby
[Girl:]
Oahhhh, oahhhahh
[2Pac:]
I got nuttin to lose
It's just me against the world
[Girl:]
Oh-hahhh
[2Pac:]
Stuck in the game
Me against the world baby

[Verse 1: 2Pac]
Can you picture my prophecy?
Stress in the city, the cops is hot for me
The projects is full of bullets, the bodies is droppin
There ain't no stoppin me
Constantly movin while makin millions
Witnessin killings, leavin dead bodies in abandoned buildings
Can't raise the children cause they're illin
Addicted to killin and the appeal from the cap peelin
Without feelin, but will they last or be blasted?
Hard headed *******
Maybe he'll listen in his casket - the aftermath
More bodies being buried - I'm losing my homies in a hurry
They're relocating to the cemetary
Got me worried, stressin, my vision's blurried
The question is will I live? No one in the world loves me
I'm headed for danger, don't trust strangers
Put one in the chamber whenever I'm feelin this anger
Don't wanna make excuses, cause this is how it is
What's the use unless we're shootin no one notices the youth
It's just me against the world baby

[Girl:]
Me against the world
[2Pac:]
It's just me against the world
[Girl:]
Ooooh yeah, ooo-hooo
[2Pac:]
It's just me against the world
[Girl:]
Me against the world
[2Pac:]
Cause it's just me against the world baby
[Girl:]
Hey!
[2Pac:]
Me against the world
[Girl:]
Ooooh yeah
[2Pac:]
I got nuttin to lose
It's just me against the world baby
[Girl:]
I got nothing to lose

[Verse 2: Dramacydal]
Could somebody help me? I'm out here all by myself
See ladies in stores, Baby Capone's, livin wealthy
Pictures of my birth on this Earth is what I'm dreamin
Seein Daddy's *****, full of crooked demons, already crazy
And screamin I guess them nightmares as a child
Had me scared, but left me prepared for a while
Is there another route? For a crooked Outlaw
Veteran, a villian, a young ****, who one day shall fall

Everday there's mo' death, and plus I'm dough-less
I'm seein mo' reasons for me to proceed with thievin
Scheme on the scheming and leave they peeps grieving
Cause ain't no bucks to stack up, my nuts is backed up
I'm bout to act up, go load the Mac up, now watch me klacka
Tried makin fat cuts, but yo it ain't workin
And Evil's lurking, I can see him smirking
When I gets to pervin, so what?
Go put some work in, and make my mail, makin sales
Risking 25 with a 'L', but oh well

[Girl:]
Me against the world
[2Pac:]
With nuttin to lose
It's just me against the world
[Girl:]
Ooh yeah... oooh-ooooh
[2Pac:]
It's just me against the world baby
[Girl:]
Me against the world
[2Pac:]
I got nuttin to lose
It's just me against the world
[Girl:]
Oahhhohh
[2Pac:]
Ha ha
It's just me against the world baby
[Girl:]
Ha-ahh, HA-AHH!
[2Pac:]
With nuttin to lose
It's just me against the world baby
[Girl:]
Me against the world, hoahhh
[2Pac:]
Me against the world
I got nuttin to lose
It's just me against the world baby
[Girl:]
Ha-hahh (hehe) heyy!

[Verse 3: 2Pac]
With all this extra stressin
The question I wonder is after death, after my last breath
When will I finally get to rest? Through this supression
They punish the people that's askin questions
And those that possess, steal from the ones without possessions
The message I stress: to make it stop study your lessons
Don't settle for less - even a genius asks-es questions
Be grateful for blessings
Don't ever change, keep your essence
The power is in the people and politics we address
Always do your best, don't let the pressure make you panic
And when you get stranded
And things don't go the way you planned it
Dreamin of riches, in a position of makin a difference
Politicians and hypocrites, they don't wanna listen
If I'm insane, it's the fame made a brother change
It wasn't nuttin like the game
It's just me against the world

[Girl:]
Me against the world
[2Pac:]
Nuttin to lose
It's just me against the world baby
[Girl:]
Me against the world
[2Pac:]
Got me stuck in the game
It's just me against the world
[Girl:]
Oahahhhh
[2Pac:]
I'd be ashamed to lose
It's just me against the world baby
[Girl:]
Me against the world

[Outro: 2Pac]
Heh, hahahahahahah
That's right
I know it seem hard sometimes but uhh
Remember one thing
Through every dark night, there's a bright day after that
So no matter how hard it get, stick your chest out
Keep your head up, and handle it

[Girl:]
Me against the world [x3]

"Death Around The Corner"

[Child:] Why you by the window?, what's wrong daddy?

[Mother:] I know what's wrong with that crazy *******
He's just stand by the ******* window
with that ******' AK all day
You don't work, you don't ****, you don't,
you don't do a ******* thing

I see death around the corner, gotta stay high while I survive
In the city where the skinny ****** die
If they bury me, bury me as a G *****, no need to worry
I expect retaliation in a hurry
I see death around the- corner, anyday
Trying to keep it together, no one lives forever anyway
Strugglin and strivin, my destiny's to die
Keep my finger on the trigger, no mercy in my eyes
In a ball of confusion, I think about my daddy
Madder than a *******, they never shoulda had me
I guess I seen too many murders, the doctors can't help me
Got me stressin' with my pistol in my sheets, it ain't healthy
Am I paranoid? - Tell me the truth
I'm out the window with my AK, ready to shoot
Ran out of endo and my mind can't take the stress,
I'm out of breath
Make me wanna **** my **** self,
but I see death around the corner

[Chorus]

(When we were kids, belonging felt good)
I see death around the corner
(But having respect, that feels even better)
I see death around the corner
(When we were kids, belonging felt good)
I see death around the corner
(But having respect, that feels even better)

I see death around the corner,
the pressure's getting to me
I no longer trust my homies,
them phonies tried to do me
Smoking too much ****,
got me paranoid, stressed
Pack a gat and my vest,
under my clothes when I dress
Here's hopin I die the way I lived,
straight thuggin'
Huggin' my trigger for all them ******
who was buggin'
My homie told me once,
don't you trust them other suckers
They fought like they your homies
but they phony *******
And even if I did die young, who cares
All I ever got was mean mugs and cold stares
I got homies in my head
who done passed away screamin, please
Young *****, make Gs
I can't give up, although I'm hopeless,
I think my mind's gone
All I can do is get my grind on, death around the corner

[Chorus]

I was raised in the city, ******
Ever since I was an itty bitty kitty
Drinkin' liquor out my momma's *****
And smokin' **** was an everyday thang in my household,
And drinking liquor til' you out cold
And tho' i'm gone now, ***** it's still on- Pow
Bustin on them ****** til they gone
How many more jealous *** *******, comin for my riches
Now I gotta stay suspicious when I bone
Cause if I ain't sharp and heartless,
them ******* will start ****
Excuse me, but this is where we part *****
No more game for free, please explain to me
Why ****** trip *****, who you came to see?
Murderin' now but see me later man, as for my pops
I got homies that will hunt you til you drop
I hope the Lord will forgive me, I was a G
And gettin high was a way of gettin free
I see death around the corner

[Chorus]

This is for all the real ******* ****** out there
I know you ain't scared to die
We all gotta go, ya know ?
A real ******* will pick the time he goes
And make sure he handles his ******* business
Y'all ****** stop acting like ******* out there,
all right

[Movie bites]

I'm tired off getting ripped off by guys like that

I want his family dead, I want his house burned to the ground
I want to got there in the middle of the night,
I wanna **** on his head
I want his family dead, I want his house burned to the ground
I want to got there in the middle of the night,
I wanna **** on his head

I want that sonova ***** dead, I want him dead
I want him dead, I don't care

This sinking feeling sets,
It feels just like a hole inside your chest.
I know you're thinking,
No, no, no, no, it is easier said than done,
But please let me attest.
I know it's hard.
You're feeling like you're trapped,
But that's how you react,
When you cannot see the light.
But try and see the light.
I'm tellin' you,
No, no, no, no,
You're the only one
Standing in your way,
Just take a breath, relax, and tell me…

Why?
Please tell me why do we worry?
Why?
Why do we worry at all?
Why?
Just tell me why do we worry?
When worry is never helping tell me
Why?
Why worry at all?

Why do we insist,
On crossing bridges that do not exist?
Let's take these issues
Step by step by step, to work it out,
Day by day by day we're falling down,
But life goes on.
I've got some questions,
Are you sick of feelin' sorry?
Uh huh,
And people sayin' not to worry?
Uh huh,
Sick of hearing this hakuna matata motto,
From people who won the lotto,
We're not that lucky.
Have you noticed that you're breathing?
Uh huh,
Look around and count your blessings,
Uh huh,
So when you're sick of all this stressin' and guessin' I'm suggestin' you turn this up and let them hear you sing it.

Why?
Please tell me why do we worry?
Why?
Why do we worry at all?
Why?
Just tell me why do we worry?
When worry is never helping tell me
Why?
Why worry at all?

Chin up, quit actin' like you're half dead.
Tears can only half fill how you’re feelin'.
Don't worry, be happy baby.
Stand up, life is too **** short,
That clock is ticking.
Man up, if ya feel me,
Everybody sing it.

Why?
Please tell me why do we worry?
Why?
Why do we worry at all?
Why?
Just tell me why do we worry?
When worry is never helping tell me
Why?
Why worry at all?

Why?
Please tell me why do we worry?
Why?
Why do we worry at all?
Why?
Just tell me why do we worry?
When worry is never helping
I'm not buying what they're selling
So if worry's never helping tell me
Why,
Why?
Worry at all?

No more chillin,

Just sweatin, I’m stressin

I’m rainin down blood from my eyes

Gotta be the best, Superior to the rest

I only wanna touch the skies

I’m bettin high stakes, make no mistake

On eggshells walkin through these land mines

I gotta be strong if I’m gonna prove him wrong

His looks alone pierce my heart like dull knives

I gotta change my ways to see different days

There’s more to me than just some good times

I never hurt so much til he walked in

But best believe he’s sendin me good vibes

There’s depth to his stares, he actually cares

My past lovers from himself he divides

He’s only givin tough love, no baby gloves

This aint a phase, he’s really changin both our lives

He told me passion is only a distraction

Who cares about your heart or the size

Results and achievments are what they want

But these are just a few words for the wise

Now I’m livin in better days, true to my new ways

I’ve released all these bindes and cut these ties

Now I’m just chillin,

No more sweatin, no stressin

I’m not goin back, no compramise.

2 Pac:
"...and I feel like if you walk by a street and you was walkin' on concrete and you saw a rose, growing outta concrete
Even if it had messed up petals and it was a little to the side you would marvel at just seeing a rose grow through concrete.."


As a yougin' all I had was a dream
Rappin' to myself as my mama used to scream
Papa getting violent and he beatin' her again
They just feeling stressed cause they tryna pay the rent

Papa, you a G though you did wrong
Mama, you an angel cause you stayed strong
Papa, it's alright, we have weak moments
Mama, you a soldier cause you keep holdin'

Uh
But some days, we ain't have ****
And some nights, I was askin'
"Why we so poor, but my friends not?"
Just jealous of what my friends got

Uh
I was hungry and you fed me love
****, you gave me yours, it wasn't enough
Yet, I took it all and without a praise
You made it feel like home and without a place
Workin' like slaves, and I'm so sorry
Ungrateful for the things you done did for me
Comin' home from school, disrespecting
Acting like I ain't have blessings
Dear, Mama the council won't get you
If you try to go, I won't let you
A careless *** kid, but I'm tryna change it
I just need to tell you I appreciate it

2Pac:
"...and I feel like if you walk by a street and you was walkin' on concrete and you saw a rose, growing outta concrete
Even if it had messed up petals and it was a little.. you know, to the side you would marvel at just seeing a rose grow through concrete.."


As a youngin' all I had was a dream
You was my brother, my hero, my team
I was down for you, all you did was sell
I was growin' up while you was in and out of jail
Waitin' at the court room, all of us silent
You was never home, you was always so violent
How you think I felt when I visited the prison
Of where my brother at while my partner gone missin'
I was gone dissin', but I was just hurt
From all those nights, those fights, those words
****, we used to argue all the time, I hated you
And witnessing your drug dealin' and I hated, too
It was my birthday and then some next ****
All them times, you just got your *** arrested
Family stressin', I'm surprised you ain't dead
From a life of a crime, and that war with the FEDS
Have you thought 'bout what you put me through? HUH?
And all the things I had to do for you
Like deal with the people who spoke your name
Like this ***** who disrespected you, I broke her frame
But it's okay, I'm your baby sis
And some day I just may be rich
And I got you, I ain't gotta say it
I just wanted you to tell me you appreciate it

2Pac:
"...and I feel like if you walk by a street and you was walkin' on concrete and you saw a rose, growing outta concrete
Even if it had messed up petals and it was a little.. you know, to the side you would marvel at just seeing a rose grow through concrete.."

The other night, I swore I gazed into the past. I saw a kid who was selfish. Not caring, never stressin. Never knowin I saw a teen, who didn't fit. Didn't make the cut, who never made anything grass hopper complex? Then I saw a man, whose hurt.

Manic, Depressive / Manic, Depressive / Manic, Depressive /

this **** is impressive / Got ghosts in my mind, but I’ll be addressin’ / This **** in my head that’s got me depressed / Workin’ my hardest, trying my best / tryna escape, can't get out of bed / Word on the street is I’m losing my head / Fight me, I dare you / C’mon go ahead / I’ve been sittin on diamonds under my bed / Stole a whole paycheck and left that boy dead

Manic, Depressive / Manic, Depressive / Manic, Depressive / Depressive Depressive / Manic Depressive,

this **** is impressive / Tryna escape, can’t get out of bed / Listen to these voices inside my head: Blood and it’s spilling out of my veins / Onto the bed sheets / Leaving red stains / Can’t help but wonder / If maybe this pain / Will just go away if I bleed down the drain

Manic, Depressive / Manic, Depressive / Manic, Depressive / Depressive Depressive /

Ah, ****. I just missed my train.
Whatever, I’ll come back and ride it again

Manic, Depressive /

A little obsessive / Standing on rooftops wearing my messes / Know I could jump / Know that it’s reckless / Manic, Depressive / Manic, Depressive / Depressive Depressive Depressive Depressive / Took all my pills, Why am I stressin? / Can’t even look at my ******* reflection / Had all my meds / Why’m I still crying? / Doesn’t the world see that I’m dying? / Can’t help but feeling, there’s no denying / Hate that I’m worthless / Hate that I’m crying / I prolly need help but I’d rather be flying /

/ I prolly need help but I’d rather be flying /

Manic Depressive / I’m on top of the world / Just earlier today, I met this cute girl / And maybe she loves me, maybe she don’t / I want her to know that --- love her? I won’t / Manic Depressive / I’m crying I hate it / I saw the sunrise but I’m really debating / What I will say in my last moments / Goodbye to God and Hello to Satan /


Manic, Depressive / Manic, Depressive / Manic, Depressive / Manic, Manic- It’s come down to this / Why I’ve been waiting, / It’s come down to this / Why I’ve been waiting / right now it’s Game Day / No hesitating

/ I prolly need help but I’d rather be flying /

Here comes the train, no more delaying / shaking the rails / standing between / Heaven and Hell / and then someone yelled -

Fell out of the way / at the sound of the horn / surrounded by dust, coughing a storm /
Look back at the tracks, see only fear / I’m a ******* coward / Can’t believe I’m still here

Manic Depressive / Depressive / Depressive: Now I’m just sinking / Back into bed / Can’t shut off these voices inside my head / I’m shaking, I’m screaming: Why Aren’t I Dead?

Manic, Depressive / Manic, Depressive / Manic, Depressive / Now I’m regressing: / Found some guy, says that I’m cute / Don’t want what he’s got but I guess this will do / He looks at me like / Maybe I’ve got a clue / But really I don’t and I know it won’t last / I’m just reliving my painful past / I’m hoping he’ll take me somewhere away - away from my body, away from my brain / but all that he does is add to my pain / he calls me his Kitten / Says I’m so great / I’m wondering if maybe I made a mistake

Manic, Depressive / Massive attack / I’ve gotten to this place / Where I’ve come detached / Nothing makes sense / nothing is fact / I’m half locked away / Just shut the latch

/ Manic, Depressive / This **** is Impressive / Manic, Depressive / Just shut the latch
Manic, Depressive / I can’t even speak / Manic, Depressive / but I know I’m not weak

I prolly need help but I’d rather be flying

Planet earth
Was my place of birth
I need worth?
Money fortune and fame
Man i couldnt picture this
Without makin' a name
I wanted to be the black Picasso
With the picture perfect flow
So ya know
The microphone fiend
Aint went no where
And All my spectators n haters
Had to stop n stare
Listenin' to the bass thumpin'
Music n mic is so loud
Movin' the crowd
With my aesthetic poetry
Ricochetin' minds with my lyrical
Content
Once the trigger hits the bars get
More ruthless
Strikin' furious
makin' emcees toothless
Leave em with a strong lisp
Check the total Eclipse
Its temporary darkness mark this
Day and age im the new jack
So im turnin' the page
Backward bringin' real hip hop back
Yo! ,im finna cut deep as a lumberjack
And yea im black
So get ready to attack
Butll be back
For more ******* delivery
NONE could shake thee
Original master of the craft
Send the army n still they couldnt penetrate me
The black rambo of the industry
I had to take and make
My own moves show to you n prove
To ya that im the best at this
Two decades later n hip hops  gone
But now im resurrected
The flow is re-connected
Back to nineteen eighty six
Now watch me rough up the mix
Dont look any further this is a stick up
Or hold up just fold up
Cuz ya at a dead end
Dont pretend that you couldn't bend
Your way out of a jam session
Go to the **** for a quick blessin' ya stressin'
Got ya nerves shook from my verbs
Ya mind couldnt take it
So death couldnt fake it
now i know as hit up ya funeral
Payin' my dues to the fallen ones
That tried to intervene between
The jewelry the cars and my life
complex scene
Enticin' green
Cuz of the way i drop them fools
Turnin' mule
On the mic
Cuz im paid in fullllllllllllllll!!!!!


This addiction I'm addicted to is writing rhymes when I'm missing you I know you want it to like sticky glue I'm picking you straight sticking to you cuz my addiction is I'm addicted to you.
Baby my life is full of scars in my brain from smoking shards everyday getting harder everyday trying to barter everyday just to send you messages everyday in any way that I can.
You think it's easy being a man? when the cops came do you know why I ran? Cuz going to jail zero bail zero mail wasn't the plan. But instead, hugging you loving you rubbing you trying to be a man for you trying to do what I can for you  with a d.o.c. felony warrant out for me not for you I'm crazy over you let's get back to my addiction I'm addicted to you.
It's going to get better well at least in this letter it is. why? because if it wasn't for my guy I d just sit and cry and wished Id die but it seems like he's keeping me alive while I stress hard at night cuz I got no reply my girl didn't press six every time I called I woulda just bawled my eyes out which is usually not allowed in here where fear is considered week you better not leak a tear or you can just push the button and get the **** up out of here but I'm still here faceing three years I thought youd stick with me but why do I feel your unsticking not sticking to me slowly falling off I feel like I'm being robbed without you everything I ever loved is gone because I'm gone?? Where is God? Well, like my kid he's gone and I'm just being real I'm not trying to hate on quote our Creator but he's not here either no disrespect to the readers of this if you're believer I could see why you'd be ****** but really I can care less so let's try to get back to the reason why I'm writing about addiction for no reason or why my hearts supposed to be pumping blood but instead is bleeding like my knees bleeding from kneeing from needing help but not seeing im delt being beat with belts can't go to school with welts cuz they're afraid I'll tell well can you blame me? **** it **** me take a picture and frame me  I'm ashamed I was ever anybody's baby I mean am i going crazy? maybe it's because lately I'm back to not giving a **** I don't believe my luck but I'm forced to with no remorse or chorus I just keep writing of course sitting in jail eating the porridge  we get every morning weather my cellys  snoring it don't matter anymore cuz I'm being filled with hate till the moment I snap or break like taking the juice away I used to pour  in my cake pretty soon it's going to be too late to bring back the man that would have done anything for your *** **** **** I just gotta  give thanks to HATE for putting up with me as I'm stressin G cuz obviously without my ***** I seem a little wobbly wobbling around I swear he knows everything I mean without having to explain anything.
I want to flip out trip out then dip out but I'm stuck here with my **** out as My ***** rips out and dips out with my heart that's scarred now it's hard sometimes when your straight blinded from the outside but reminded by thoughts that are rewinded and replayed everyday i cant get away cuz praying doesn't work so **** the **** that said it would or said it could change my life  instead I struggle just to stay alive and not cry cuz nobody gives a **** about ty. That's why I'm holding on so tight to this girl I've been trying to find my whole life I'm just glad I didn't **** myself with those knives or am I?
I really don't know but I hope my pain in this shows from the highs and lows to the blankets we use as pillows this addiction I'm addicted to is feeling these flows even when nobody knows if when or how the story may go you may be told someday when you're old that your dad didn't make it cuz he couldn't take it no mo now that's just real your dad couldn't heal without you! now to the women he dated and married to make you I swear I don't hate you it's not too late to make it up to you its just hard to be free will they ever release me? I mean the systems like a disease like cancer and *** till your deceased trapped by the ultimate gang of police that does the government's ***** deeds till they feed us full of diseases never release us I mean where is Jesus? They say he died to free us but really I think he committed treason the reason is because he couldn't free us he couldn't be us he escaped back to the safety of the heavenly gates where he could watch people in pain dying everyday women getting ***** kids taken away you ask me God isn't real and Jesus is fake so to the pencil that helped  me write this Thanks.

Seven days straight, the sun rolls up,always from the same
side of town and just the same way it gives up and lays down
The same buses run on the same old routes.
No letup.
So dream a dream.
Next day,instant replay.
Know what ? I know the  drill

Sunday.is like Halloween, Rubber faces and trick or treat with Reverend Ike.
Fire and brimstone. Please turn down ya cell phones.Pass the plate.
payola to heaven's gate.

Monday.Back on the grind, Blood,sweat and tears.
Grinding mental gears.Pop the clutch,Earn so little
Pay so much.

Tuesday.? just locked in. The Lotto is calling, cant win if ya dont play.
Teasin me bout easy street. Gimme my lump sum Then watch me fly.
Keep missin me with that later, greater noise.
Keep it real son.

Wednesday. Looking of into the sunset now.All ****** up
getting up for the down-stroke.Sweat  of my brow. Feel me NOW ?
Take a deep breath blow out slow. If you dont tell it then the devil wont know.

Thursday. Gettin closer to shore,Go for your backstroke  cause yer starting to
fade.  In through the mouth and out through the nose focus your gaze on the
circling crows? Crows ?

Friday. Ah snap yer ends came up short. Tax man just waxin yer ***.
Ghoulish?. Foolish. Some ends might not meet.

Sat-Day. Not so fat day. Pullin pocket lint by 6.PM.Chump changin.
is changin your mind. Gettin glimpses of stressin the old bump and grind On Moanday. ****.@%#$##$%@
expletive deleted.

Stun-day. Hungday?
Rake  your sh%@t in a pile day ?

No Doubt Assed out.
Hello... Monday.

Roll up a scroll of
that green sh*t that'll make the
weak ones produce drool.

It was a little insane but who
Am I to judge?
You See ....my friend had a theory
how our world came to where it was

So as he told it to me, is how ill tell it
it to you, but not caring if ur believing
But simply I am just repeating
As I found it oddly intriguing

So, it all starts where a society of
of real gods all live
And their kids are subject to
Learning about their power& gifts

And as an assignment school kids
Were told they had to create reality
On a fictitious planet where it'll
inhabit a species with mortality

Using the knowledge you were taught
In science Eco system building
Using philosophy, math. Art anything
You've learned can help your vision

Now the rules of such a creation
We're to calculate things right
Cause once it's created it's living
And we don't extinguish life

So the teacher explained that if
You create and it goes off course
You can only watch it destruct for
example if u Forget a food source

If you forget to make the
physical bodies of the beings
To be properly resilient enough
to match the environmental skeems

You are forced to watch in horror
As the death u caused slowly comes
And only then will you know
What it takes to be a god, and no one

Will have similar projects so no ones
right or wrong that's why you create
It's imaginative and limitless
As long as u properly calculate

So only a week later long before
the deadline when projects are due
one student who made a planet called earth,
that reflected green and blue

And he asked his teacher if he
Could induce the process of creation
Knowing well, that inducing creation comes
after due date&presentation;

So the teacher replied that
Normally he would say no
But ill be honest im curious to see
if u finished only starting 7 days ago

But before you do. I hope you know
The ethical obligation
That comes with creation, don't
U wanna re work calculations?

Cause they need a way to breath
And have a way that their body
Can self remove or evacuate
And the student said like a hobby

I loved I recalculated made
Adjustment after adjustment
So if I'm missing something I won't
Find it cuz I can't see nothing.

So the teacher said go ahead
And the student left that night
To induce the roots that
Wi grow the fruit of life

So time passes and it's time
To present to the classes
This student presented last&when;
he showed earth all of them laughed

And since there is no wrong or right
The student was puzzlesd
As his classmates started asking
Questions so flaws shoe but subtle

"Why would free will have a need"
When u only need to program
The nucleus to force morality
Now it's on you when your plans

Are wrong, but the student
Explained that he could not plan
Like most others did cuz there are
Copious variables when they can

Make their own decisions and
Be there own gods
So I only gave them
the power and respect that we all got

Cause most of your planets are built
By plans, predetermined by control
Where as mine gives them the tools
Without manipulating them wit goals

Only the fear of survival and a
Heightened consciousness so
well aware before acting on wrong
as instinct warns, so they know

What they should do, and would you
Want a program instead of intuition
Robbed of the right to make decision
cuz in my Opinion that is no vision

of someone creating something livin
So overlooked my pessimism
So existence wit decision prevents
planet prison, think of a mechanism

Something designed to mimic
Life mearly living a planned cycle
So most of your plants are more
Mechanisms then life cause vital

Is the presence of survival so
It can serve as a reminder
That recklessness has consequence
To show control of what transpires

Is there's and with this I moved
On well aware it could end
Badly but sadly the same free will
I gave as a gift could curse them

And that's when his teacher said
Class congratulate earth
As I've never once had a student
Factor in free will which births

Authenticity of life otherwise
Your planet is a replication
This projects meaning is
built around the fact that your creation

Wouldn't really be a creation as
A school would never allow
A class of students to cause
creation with no knowledge of how

Uncontrollable true creation is
And that no creations perfected
And bearing the pain of knowing
Something exists in pain directed

By your creation so be patient
Don't spawn life just to see the odd
So the lesson,its dangerous
playing god so it's important u be a god

That's when the teacher dismissed
The class but asked his student
That created earth to stay after
Class so we can decide who is

Gonna break it to my bosses that
You created life
And when they were alone
teacher said plz fill me in and shed light

On how you got everything cohesive
I had to write a new thesis
Many times and felt so blind even
After schooling to breed this

Planet the way you did, how do
They breath explain
So he said out of the choices I had
For elements the easiest to maintain

So it's constant and remains
Is to have what's needed to breath
Surrounding them and that way the
wind acts to spread what they need

So all I had to do was create
an Eco system that's supported by
The same thing but used in a cycle
Opposite to another, so .....in my

case, earth is filled with What the
dominant and sub-dominant life needs
Just like a fish needs to be in water
Earth uses oxygen as its need

So upon designing plant life a tree
And other plants breath
Out the oxygen the eco system needs
so I hope the environment we

Left to them is taken care of,
So the teacher nods and says
One more question which makes
Me wonder if ur advanced or lead

By luck but what was your
thought process when programming how
A basic nucleus functions you
Added so much detail so now

I'm asking why greed, anger and
Other emotional gauges got
So complicated when these emotions
Develop in evolution with thought

So the student replied, ill be honest
I created earth to reflect me
So now I'm more bonded to my
Creation and empathy from me

Would lack if in fact I failed
To know how it felt
To be lonely. Scared or angry
And despite how there all felt

They make us constantly aware
Of ourselves leading to improvement
On a scale more significant so
They would have to be stupid

To not notice with how complicated
They are by instinct and emotion
That if the environment gets bad
Or poverty is had there's a notion

That nags inside them knowing
Something's Wrong and they'll fix it
But ill let u know as time passes
What happens no I'm sorry it isn't

Allowed to go with you. There's
Many issues, and unwritten law
All creations must be stored with
The proper personnel who log

A the findings as some bindings
Have taught us In the past
That evolution after creation has an
Outcome that is worth to track

Each creation and note the
Changes and evolutions as they
May hold the answer To a question
We won't ask til later so I say

You deserve a pat on the back
But we may very well be introuble
As its my job to make sure u don't
Stumble upon it but befuddled

Am I at how you factored In key
elements we purposely leave out
So when your creations crash it's
No harm some as the lessons passed

Cause reproductive systems are
Graphed and added to the math
When your much older in university
Although they teach in class

To give the female of a species
The means to self conceive
With only eggs and the fathers
DNA but still you achieved

A sustainable process, and
If as a novice u can do this
There's no telling what your future
Creations will teach us, but with

All of this comes responsibility
So lets go call the authorities
And let them know we are in
Possession of an unlicensed piece

Of science and be proud. That
U didn't just play god
You weighed the responsibility
And took well measured steps not

Even taught to you, and even
If earth is not with u
It still reflects how complex you as a
God think,so lets hope earth will too

Cuz any misanthropy is misplaced
As imperfections reflexion
is why conception of perfection
Leaves a contradicting impression

Cuz the same section that's stressin
Abnormalities exist
Is the same formality that makes it
normal so this paradox insists

That something is what it isn't
And it isn't what it is
Like love and hate, a perfect life
needs a nature where antonyms sit

And in essence this is why your
world leaves me impressed
But most ppl dont understand this
Theory and will judge it a mess.....

First off **** the white house
And lady liberty's game
Ya bound to get burn
When I ignite my flame
So many left ashamed puttin' they
Hearts through bunch of pain
Death ain't strange
Watch it I'm bust open
At them fools from Coast to Coast
We takin' over **** Nation no more hesitatin'
True lost prophet coming for the sons of Satan
We bringing' retaliation
No ones survives this condemnation
Welcome to the killing fields take no yields
Bust at everybody even through windshield
Hold ya guard and grab ya grill
I hit em up cuz I'm.corrupt since there's no abrupt
In society i move quietly react violently
To situation no more frustration
Its time to rise at these fools
Stirin' up hatred from HTOwn to New Jeruz
Israel coming back penetrates through flesh hard Mac
Ten in the wind as it whistle through time
Lookin' for a body to put on the flat line
Times running out no doubt
Punk *** politics all got tricks
Up they sleeve suckin' too ******* the devils ****
Soon to spit
Out that spiritual *** they swallow too.much
Full of clutch when they quick to ******
Eyes open *** wide
******' with me its like suicide homicide invested
**** nigguh ain't no testin' **** stressin'
Hennessey and Weeds smoke sessions
Openin' fire with aggression straight progressin'
Showin' eternal surpressin'
Game to makavelis lesson
Got them ******* in check now they stuck
Killin' all adversaries in the white house
I hit em upppppppppppppppppp 


Now that the game done changed
I got Washington on lock
Dont give a **** thats why i pack a glock
And **** cops
Nigguhs deserve to die
Fools think they fly
Im glad the prisoners escape the fry
I aint lyin'
Multiple enemies on me but dont care
They dont scare
Me or my troops this aint no protest
This is straight raid
So **** it we enticin' bloodshed escapades
Cant escape the reign
Put an end to all there pain
Inflictin' on us run when our guns bust
**** the media they cant touch us
Scared of us
Cuz they know we got the real.power
I see they hearts growin' sour
Every hour
They steadily plan the plot
To get one of us minorities shot
Nobody gets mad instead we sends prayer to the sky
I say send them souls to the sky
And let the death angel
Rearrange em never let my trigger go
Now there after shock
Visions in slow mo
See my pang you ******* done to me
This is **** life aint changin' me
Open yo heart *****
Hit so hard you couldn't  even stitch
The womb as infect ya brains
Cant maintain im antimatter
Makin' these politicis body fatter
Like broken glass they shatter
Insane as the mad hatter
Got them.******* stuck
Stackin' adversaries every hour
Yooooooo i HHITTTT EMMMMMM UPP!!!!!!!


First off **** the white house
And lady liberty's game
Ya bound to get burn
When I ignite my flame
So many left ashamed puttin' they
Hearts through bunch of pain
Death ain't strange
Watch it I'm bust open
At them fools from Coast to Coast
We takin' over **** Nation no more hesitatin'
True lost prophet coming for the sons of Satan
We bringing' retaliation
No ones survives this condemnation
Welcome to the killing fields take no yields
Bust at everybody even through windshield
Hold ya guard and grab ya grill
I hit em up cuz I'm.corrupt since there's no abrupt
In society i move quietly react violently
To situation no more frustration
Its time to rise at these fools
Stirin' up hatred from HTOwn to New Jeruz
Israel coming back penetrates through flesh hard Mac
Ten in the wind as it whistle through time
Lookin' for a body to put on the flat line
Times running out no doubt
Punk *** politics all got tricks
Up they sleeve suckin' too ******* the devils ****
Soon to spit
Out that spiritual *** they swallow too.much
Full of clutch when they quick to ******
Eyes open *** wide
******' with me its like suicide homicide invested
**** nigguh ain't no testin' **** stressin'
Hennessey and Weeds smoke sessions
Openin' fire with aggression straight progressin'
Showin' eternal surpressin'
Game to makavelis lesson
Got them ******* in check now they stuck
Killin' all adversaries in the white house
I hit em upppppppppppppppppp 

Since I'm Gods lost child
Stuck in the wild I took the scars
Then I smiled
No time for raw rappin'
Extra clips in AKs that I'm packin' bodies stackin'
Makin' nigguhs vanish hearts begin to.panic
Is it me or it the **** in me
Demons been in me since I was born
No longer a quiet storm I sing harm
Beautiful.melodies muthaphukkin'
Adversaries deserve to die
Now they reachin' foe the sky
Soul searchin' still lurkin'
Around the trees waitin' ambush
Them.cowards successfully
I'm blessed and pleas
From the bomb **** I seen the devil starin' at my mirror
Showin' me visions of me in a casket
****** in cold blood by them.heartless *******
Since I'm initiated as an outlaw puttin' down Romans Law
**** what I saw how can I die?
If I got God on my side He only Judge
They say don't hold no grudge
I say **** it bring on the pain
Takin' on any muthaphukka who wanna get it on
We can strap and have slug fight blazin'
So many battles I lost but the war will be won
Breakin' the curse of Hell's song
Time through time I shed a tear
For my nigguhs that didn't make it in the past year
No doubt
I get high reminiscin' on ya memory
Don't worry G I'll come with Elijah's fire
Consumin' enemies
Revengin' for the lost crimes droppin' bodies
Like the grim reaper as I'm takin' time
The world is mineeeeeee

uh my clan be ***** as the Taliban
with illegal contraband
got more heat than desert stand
one man stand on the mic
i rock im as hard as a ****
in between a ***** legs
gettin' ready to knock
ya out with flows i expose
the industry closed
once yosef pours
out the blessin got me foes guessin no stressin
**** and henney sessions
new lessons
daily sip irish creme baily
they cant play me but pay me
listen to styles p or bump biggie
or maybe 2 p a c
host aks at birthdays
im al caponin' it runnin' ****
like diarrhea
yall just need ta
sit the **** back while i count benjamins stacks
which be
in bundle king of the hip hop jungle
and im
going to **** puffie diddy
He soft as a nestle cookie
Make mysteries
no rookies
cant play with me in this deadly game
lite a match for the flame
burn the fame
infamous is how i keep it man
hol up


I see the hate excite of the critics
Gimmicks leave with they headsplitted
And backs more open than parachute
From the guns that shoot 21 salute
Dont ya know im soldier
I keep glocks hot as folgers
In ya cup i interrupt the scene
Once i puff red hair greens
Ya drivin a limousine
N ill throw grenade in ya sunroof
And watch it land inbetween
Ya legs
So ya can blow ya own head
Get it naw forget
All i see is yellow tapes chalks
And you being admitted
To the hospital in critical
Condition no intermission
All ya memory left is ya see is my face
Im like the son of man
Leavin competition running
Marathons cuz im the biggest don
They call me the Holy one
Cuz of the way my guns
Put holes in one
The rawest spit flawless
Talk **** we'll leave ya jawless
Throw ya remains in the death valley
With the rest of the restless carcass
Facing eternal darkness what???

i will let the rain,
drop down & ease my pain,
dampen out my fear,
& wash away my stains.

let it bring the calm,
clean the sweat from off my palms,
blend into my tears,
& bring the rise of dawn.

let it cool the things i'm stressin,
drown out all of my depression,
i will let the rain,
be the answer to my questions.

so when i'm low & dry,
& i feel i want to cry,
i'll see the clouds roll in,
& smile at the sky.

Allow me to return to the written page
A very close friend, Bluestar is her name,
Today we aim to address a simple question,
Why am I single? And always stressin?

Allow me please to sip on this hot tea
As we shed some light as to why you're alone in your bed tonight
So if it doesn't apply then go ahead and let it fly

First off do you think it's cute bragging about being crazy
I'll cut your meat of if you cheat and we're supposed to look at you with eyes that are glazing?

Do you really think men like it when you threaten to end their manhood?
You don't see us going around, saying we'll ruin your life
And why do you always gotta ask me who I'm texting?
I mean usually its my mom, not a crazy ex you think I sext with

Seriously jealousy and insecurity are what messes you up
And can you please stop fishing for compliments when you aren't feeling to *****
I get it, we all need a good boost now and then
But asking me a question you don't want the real answer to isn't going to help girlfriend
Oh and before I forget communication is key
If I ask you what's wrong and you say nothing, and I move on from the issue don't blame me
I'm not professor Xavier, I cannot read minds

I cannot deal with this b.s for much longer
I need you to realize your insecurities aren't real,
Your **** looks fine in those jeans, and your hair isn't messed up,
But the more and more you ask me that the more and more I doubt that fact

You really ought to listen to me now,
Guys like me don't like to see you angry,
And the more you question me the angrier you'll get
And that's entirely your fault

Uh
I heart haters *******
N spectators
Congratulations
You just assist my promotions
**** a notion
I rock flows tighter than ya ***** clothes
N ***** hole
Bump Lamar n J Cole
Cnotes of **** at least in the bowl
Never will i fold
Them critics be  suspicious ridiculous
On my **** cuz its so delicious
No diamonds are precious here
I make cumbulus clouds drop tears
Another fear
Sent by me cuz im ya nemesis
Takin' on all of the genesis
Its beginnin' of my slaughterhouse
Created the world in six days
On the seven i came out the crud of clay
Judgment day
When they see me they pray
Lile Muslims givin' honor Mecca
Ultimate wrecker microphone check
One two im.comimg with words that spew
Turn leechers face blue you n yo crew
Can catch a contact
But cant numb me my raw raps
Leave you guessin' n stressin' im a blessin'
In disguise close ya eyes
Say with me " im the best"
Just before i give you a pass
I put 3 in ya chest
For tha holy the father and the son
Never disrespect the don corelone
Kiss my rings when you see me
When i spit on the mic
They nostrils flare glare
and quote
"it's the ghost of
B--I--G"

Why yall sportin' honeys
Im flashin' money
By the ton like CBo
My career shine like Glo Mo
Movin' so fast
Got my critics in slow mo
you ******* can kiss the rain bow
******* check how my **** hangs low
**** slow spit sloppy
We gettin' busy in a bugguati
Killuminati got my own imperial
We makin' mad loot
Clockin' our own serials
My team dangerous in guns we trust
Not God wipe out the must
Get away cleab if ya kniw what i mean
Dip the scene extract the cream
From these powder puff emcees geez?
Why so much of em
Try to talk hard but end up of roughin' em
Now they in bluff
I say quick prayer shots off to the head
Dome put em to rest the best
To ever mic test mic murderer natural born killer
Im deservin' tha
Praise keep eyebrows raised yall gettin' played
I sprayem with my venom like raid
Like roaches they only come in the dark
Once i put the spark
They clear out of the park
My rolex gets ***** with ease
Pack desert ease
If ya wanna test I'll make chest sneeze
Oozin' with blood soaked clothes
Now count them holes
Embedded passin' me forget it now ya admitted
To I C U now i see you gaspin' for breath
Close ya teary eyes be prepared for death as i..



he loves me
he loves me not

He loves me not

Never in a million years did i imagine this,
sensation of lonely haunts me.

                                         *consumes me

becomes the true identity of what it means to be me.
                  Alone.
                           Forever more.
No love to give,
No love to share,
No Love, that's it.
                           Nevermore

she loves me
she loves me not

She loves me not

you just haven't met the one,
oh you're young,
there's plenty of time,
                              stop stressin ***.

but that's not the point.

Used so much my soul screams for protection,
had people walk out,
judge me for my choices,
                               Like they were my choice

She loves me
He loves me not

*They love me not

sinking ship.
iceberg ahead.
I'm going under.
Ready to give up instead.

My walls are up,
Don't need to take cover.
Put the gun away.
Spare me of this final blow.

It's not enough to complain
It's not enough to feel shame
It's not enough to give up after
U fail. It's not enough to go blame

The neighborhood u grew in
Or the ppl u were around
No excuse is enough to justify
So u can just deny knowing how

To succeed and exceed what u
perceive in your dreams
It's not enough to just proceed if u
bleed for what u believe by all means

It's not enough to try, give up and Cry
while u surrender and accept this
Cuz hardheaded and stubborn
when positive, is called relentless

So address this where your address is
and if u find no way
There's a huge world out there,
so learn while u search and maybe one day

Ill see u on the other side
Where no one ******* or complains
Where no one is slowed by
Failure or fear cuz they're driven by pain

Where u don't even need a brain
Just passion and will
Cause if your still ****** breathing
Than be believing u have a chance still

And I write this not only to ****
The doubt that poisons ur mind
But while stressin im confessin
Ill admit this is to **** mine

Cuz we all get weak at times
Where we actually consider
birthing a child of regret while bitter
And becoming its full time babysitter

Conceived with life thatll ***** you
Without any protection
And even those who oppose abortion
Would see this as the exception

Just make sure u never let them
C- section your heart
Keep fighting back, cuz keeping Faith
when life falls apart is nothing short of an art

It can be beautiful but dark
It can be abstract and expensive
And remember stubborn and hard headed
when positive is called relentless

these days, society aint nice.. so i can probably steal rhymes from your mind and sell it back to you for half price.. i might even do it twice.. they should stop rolling that dice.. stop treating us like mice.. writing became an escape, a vice.. trying to make people not take their advice.. cause mine's more precise.. this world has been overturned by ignorant thinking and ****** up lies.. they've charged us with having too much screams and cries.. making our world their daily heist.. learning how to pick up a knife and splice.. does the sight of me keep you guessin? or do you understand the stressin? the aggression.. are you waiting for a confession? or do you see why i have this depression? this free expression.. my consciousness cant fathom this recession.. wont understand why people look down on my profession.. i write.. cause i choose not to fist fight.. and even if i teach people how to survive, i also teach them how to get as high as a kite.. so they'd understand that life isnt just about fighting the blight.. we must emerge from this back night.. stronger than we were, armed to the teeth with pure light.. my imagination soars up in te heights to meet the maker's knight.. asking him about how i can help to stop people taking their flights and look inside themselves to find the true meaning of their life.. this is where i found the schools i need to educate me on how to end pain and strife.. this is where i found myself shattered and torn like getting cut by sharp glass of a knife.. this is where i found out that i wasnt ready to have her for a wife.. i needed so much to learn.. to step into the fire but walk out without any burn.. i stop myself and ask myself what i really yearn.. i yearn for truths.. but are these truths enough to make me move forward? these pains push me toward doing something good.. but my principles are never understood.. cause nowadays it's just all about should, would, or could.. sometimes i would plead, cry, and beg for change to remain the same.. unpredictable, imaginative, and never on the same page.. i no longer want to be locked up in a cage.. nor to be ridicules on stage.. and i no longer want to be controlled by this rage.. i want to be me.. able to create and learn anything just by being free.. able to sing songs and write poems with humility.. and all we have to do to achieve this is to just be..

pauldeeeee
17may2011

All Ido is contemplate evaporate the hate that shades over my  gloomy mind that rains over and kinda say, Hate to love and love to hate.
Live passed not knowing the future wait, holding breath color changing face, Sick and tired, admire by those who shape me into a different place.
im higher than the heavens gates, still feelin fire that burns in to agrresive state, passive and passin the judgment process into the ballin fist state.
Stop messin and stressin im confessin im not in the bestest shape, dont remind me.

All these sucka MCs I can't afford'em
You know I just let the Lord go an sort'em
I got y'all contortin' and consortin'
With the Devil to give me Hell
You can't tell that my sword fell
The fallen angel down there he dwell
Got it from Michael, the last half is Kyle
That's Hebrew for victorious
For Him I am fervorous 'n'

Mother ******' Furious

The world's situation is serious
Y'all straight out of it delirious
Overtaken in sin
You're way too curious
Where the hell do I begin
To let you know how to win
Against the Ego, deal the blow
Of submission, help you win
That is my mission, this is a confession

Let's start this session

Begin the lesson
Don't be stressin', soon you'll be bestin'
And bullet-proof vestin' through the wild west son
No need for the Smith n Wesson got a killer kush gun
You put on the Raiment of truth that protects one's
Youth; That's innocence,

Make sense?

Where do you find peace when your whole world is entrapped with pain
Every day feeling some new count of pain,
Where do you find the blessing when in  your family there is so much Stressin,Hatred and Pain. Who do I blame ?
Me.
Where do you find the honor when you feel as if your living a Lie when you cant stop the ocean overflowing in your eyes .
Where do you find yourself to be grateful when Life seems to take the very last of me and can destroy it,Livin my Life,Within the week. Where do you find Joy when depression has made a permanent hole in your soul When you feel as if Life seems like an perpetual journey of agony
Where do you find Hope when everything you've ever known is collasping and you can't help
I sit and weep Trying to keep the darkness out of me
Although it reaches to get out
I want to hold on!
but how ..
So i take a puff and breathe in deep
just for a little while I feel a Good Weak
But then it goes away and so I say Where do I find
Myself?

i look at things from the wrong perspective
like ****, look at all the time i’ve wasted
i always forget how young i really am
so i study my past like it's an exam...
but **** it. let’s just erase it.
i'm forcing myself to stare straight forward,
look to the future and embrace it.

i’m always stressin' about who i wanna be
i know i have potential
there’s a lot more to see from me
like yeah, knowing is half the battle
but doing is more than i can fathom

i’ve got friends and family saying
“do you, dani, go get ‘em…”
which is why I started school at LSU
only to find a group of fake friends
and career paths with a dead ends
and I sit here and wonder
when will I become exactly what God intends?

all my life, I’ve been waiting on the day
where I have the confidence to say
exactly what’s on my mind - heart and soul combined
and do my part for mankind
but for now, i will be patient
look to the future and embrace it.

There's this matter that i want to discuss. It seems like being a young mother is cool these days but marriage still isn't completely legal for gays. What makes it right, that a 16 year old should be waking up to a crying baby at night...They're babies themselves. Something with that just isn't right. Dont get me wrong, abortion is wrong and we should abort the ability of abortion. but Why are 14 15 16 year olds even having ***....?? Should we blame the parents, should we blame society, should we blame the schools who dont give us enough education on *** and all of the bad side affects? I mean, my mother was a young mother herself and with me being the 3rd child, she had to do it all by herself. The struggles of being a mother and her oldest being a daughter her perception of life had to alter. 21 years later and my mother and sister are both considered my mother... Its a topic that doesn't get stressed but none of us would be here, if we practice safe ***. Condoms are the protection of our loves affection but most people don't get the expression. Parental discretion, while she's pushing a stroller she never learned the lesson, so her friends are going out every night while she's at home stressin. So she cries to her mother while the baby cries to his mother... hmmm the irony. Im not trying to preach... just trying to teach. So take the time to listen to me speak. 10 minutes of pleasure and 9 months of pain.. 16 and pregnant, what does that show have to gain. To let young people have babies for fame. Its such a shame. So protect yourself, educate yourself, respect yourself, and don't become a statistic to the worlds misfits.

It's not enough to complain
It's not enough to feel shame
It's not enough to give up after
U fail. It's not enough to go blame

The neighborhood u grew in
Or the ppl u were around
No excuse is enough to justify
So u can just deny knowing how

so if you need to work
3 jobs, while u scratch and claw
your way to whatever dream thay lay
awaiting you to sink teeth and lock ur jaw

break your enemy and the law
create a strength with ur flaw
like having deadly aids and using it
to **** ur enemy by sleeping with his wife or dog

whatever it takes do the job
be stubborn and never listen
to the dreamkilling dream-***** blockers
who want u to fail so u can be kissin

the same *** they kiss, dont miss ur chance
dont over think
take what u want like bill cosby does after
making a woman a drink

cuz To succeed and exceed what u perceive
in your dreams, and become
a man than if u have to bleed for what u believe
then by all means cuz success ends

when your sacrifices do, so dont give up and
Cry while u surrender if not, pains expected
be hardheaded and stubborn cause its a positive,
thing in this case but differently name as relentless

So address this where your address is
and if u find no way theres a huge world
out there, so keep learning and maybe one day

Ill see u on the other side
Where no one ******* or complains
Where no one is slowed by
Failure or fear cuz they're all driven by pain

Where u don't even need a brain
Just passion and will
Cause if your still ****** breathing
Than be believing u have a chance still

And I write this not only to ****
The doubt that poisons ur mind
But while stressin im confessin
Ill admit this is also to **** mine

Cuz we all get weak at times
Where we actually consider
birthing a child of regret while bitter
And become its new mom, no babysitter

Conceived with life who will *** u
Without any protection
And even those who oppose abortion
Would see this as the exception

Just make sure u never let them
C- section out your heart
Keep fighting back, cuz kept Faith when life falls apart
is nothing short of an art

It can be beautiful but dark
It can abstract and expensive
And remember stubborn and hard headed when positive
is called relentless

Smoke somethin'
To get yo mind thumpin'
Inhale all of the reality
Full of negativity
**** what they see
I see shades of grey
Everytime i look on tv
Got one of us locked up in cuffs
Or police letting the guns bust
But if we bust back
Betta believe they gone comeback
Times two hard for you
Dodge the *******
As i inhale my thaistick
Reminiscin on a perfect plan
A masterplan they even will be felt in Japan
My imperial aint no joke
So sit the **** down a take notes
And blow some smoke
Travel with me on a fantastic voyage
Escape all the raid and escapades
Hide in the shade
Avoid the sunshine
Cuz all i got is **** on my mind!!!
**** racism the media America's culprit
That loves to quote misprints
Pay attention to the peckin' order
Because you might be next in the slaughter
No confessions no stressin
Just me and family and a few homies
Chillin' overseas havin' smoke sessions



"MAN IM GLAD I ESCAPE THE STATE MILITIA THESE FOOLS IS TRIPPIN'
STRAIGHT LOADING CLIPS IN
READY TO **** AT WILL
THEY SAY FREEDOM IS FREE
BUT THATS A **** LIE
ALL I SEE IS FOOLS DEATH MULTIPLY
STRATEGIZE YA GAME KNOW THY ENEMY
AND THE REST WILL BE MANIFESTED TO YOU STAY TRUE **** THE PHONIES
RELAX TAKE A DEEP AND INHALE
THE **** " *BLOWS SMOKE OUT THE NOSE

Pow!!!
Look up in the sky the Heavens
Pouring Out Hells Blessin'
We cursed and we stressin' guessin'

Who the enemies is but look around
All around us the demons lurking
Fools minds is twerking jerking

Can't *** with **** Cuz we so Wicked
Desperate for a meal ticket
We gotta keep our family feed
Look into the book life for my daily bread Prayers said but I feels like it's all dead
Since slavery left us in dread
Bunch of bloodshed
News media newspapers head

Line talkin about the worst Is yet to come Some
Get it some don't admit it ya *******
Most over did it
Playin' for.drug sells destined for jail
But can't get acquitted

Or No bail no love from the courts
Cuz they makin' profits off sales
Our ***** ain't catchin' on
Sprinkle ya past the break of dawn to the early morn
Peepin' watchin' for 65s creepin'
Mental seapin' from knowledge
That stabbed on my conscious
Sick of the silly nonsense I'm intense
Blunt sessions immense common sense

Is lackin' nigguh is slackin'
Now I'm all for my.peeps but not pro-blackin'
Cuz nigguhs quick to sell.u out for a buck
Then back.on the corner saying they wish
You wasn't stuck
In the system when they could have helped

But the hood slogans with
No snitchin'
Tryna hold down a hood they ain't even
Gettin' a commission
in your name learn the rules to the game
Nigguh the deadliest move in silence
Invoke violence

Without presence of being shown
Corporate America Owns
The hoods and we fall victim to there stupidity off stupidity
Ignorance self hatred insecurity as validity I.pity
These ******' critics hypocrites
NAACP suckin' white supremacy **** get off the *****
***** before I hit

the switch brain shocker
Shut down malfunction
Now society's in a rage get the twelve Guage
Cuz I refuse to be slave and I'll pave
A way even if I gotta die from.from.the words that I say

Take heed I know I was cursed from my seed Indeed
Deaths come for everyone
but I'll ****** that ***** with my shot gun

I ain't scared fool
As I sip on the henny hit the blunts slow
Meditate my minds circlin'
Playin' tricks who's that peepin' in my window
Pow!!!!!

aiyo i stay with more muscle
than schwarzenegger
alpha and omega still play sega
high as ****
roll chocolate thai dutch
push a lexus manual clutch
what?
the **** is all the hate about ?
is it because i got clout
and i watch the birds fly
in the sky high as muthafucka
enticin' cluckas
to my **** cuz it hits
harder than mauseberg wear baggy jabos and iceberg
yea im half human half cyborg
and if you hater you can embrace the morge
curious as george
hear a knock on my cells door?
who could it be could it be?
my conscious layin' prophecy
to me true emcee
last of the Mohegans don corelone of this rap ****
and i aint gone stop gettin' lit
switch roll.another one
stay blazed stronger than sun beam rays
and shake my head but the high still stays
as i get. ..high! !!!


h im seeing illusion
got my brain in confusion
almost had a contusion abusin'
my brains cells is lit oh ****
i envision of me in a casket
though a *******
i stay true to the game lite my flame who got game?
my shot vicious as Ray Allen
this aint no love ballad
toss my girls salad no ranch dressin' while yall stressin'
i sin but still catch blessin'
my smith n wesson
stays by my pillow
paranoid as ****
every after ya bucks cant clutch
on the realness my skills
puff puff pass then i hit the gas
on the highway speed out
round my homies cuz we about
to get our chips in **** in
end all foul ****** that was never down from the beginning
win some lose some far from dumb
and if ya wanna test yo manhood
we'll make ya body numb

Stressin more than your body can endure
Wish I could obtain the certain one-word trigger cure
That would bring you up from under the dark weather
Channel those negatives feelings
Make your forecast better
Shoot you like it would be your medicine vile
Hittin you hard
Leavin you with a smile
Cuz your smile is worth my worthwhile
I hope I got you with my writing style
You are someone better than myself
Don't go trying to change that
You're like no one else

I know ****** is a step to far
And yea i got jealous in that bar
But i need you to drown all my love
Set blaze to the angels far above
That sang the first time i saw you
Crazy is the lengths the heavens have gone
to Just to see me fail
Building me higher and higher
Knowing i wouldnt prevail
But as my blood runs dry and my face goes pale
I pull enough strength together to go away
And my breath is dust as i try one more confession
Well its over no more stressin
You find your love and send back good news
And if you find it then ill know its true